Empathy Or Compassion – What To Do When You Feel Too Much
Updated: Jun 13, 2023
Written by: Liliam Llanos, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you ever feel you are carrying the world on your shoulders? Is coping with your everyday environment becoming more difficult? Do you find yourself avoiding situations or people that remind you of the suffering you have witnessed?
If you are in a helping profession field, you are likely, naturally empathic. You have chosen that line of work because you seek meaning and purpose in helping others. You are naturally prone to experiencing your clients' physical or emotional state. It may lead you often to isolation due to overwhelming emotions. This experience has been called, empathic distress. According to the definition shared by Trisha Dowling in her article, Compassion Does not Fatigue, "Empathic distress is a strong, aversive, and self-centered reaction to the suffering of others, accompanied by a desire to withdraw from a situation to protect oneself from excessive negative feelings."
Empathy And Compassion Defined
Before exploring the brain-science-based tools you can use to develop a healthy empathic attunement, let’s explore the differences between empathy and compassion. Olga Klimecki, researcher and psychologist who led one of the many studies conducted on the subject, The Plasticity of Social Emotions, concluded that empathy and compassion are related but distinct emotional states, as you can read below. Klimecky et al. define empathy as "the ability to understand and share feelings with another person." Empathy can lead to feeling the same emotions as the other person but may or may not lead to taking action. Compassion involves a more positive emotional response and often motivates people to take action to help alleviate the suffering experienced by another person. Keltner and Goetz describe compassion as "the feeling of concern for the suffering of others, associated with the motivation to help."
The Compassion Solution
Fortunately, Klimecky, Singer, and other neuroscientists have demonstrated that empathic discomfort can be reversed by learning how to transform empathy into compassion and that compassion is a talent that can be honed with short-term compassion training. Even when people are exposed to the distress of others, several days of compassion training can foster good feelings and corresponding brain activations. By cultivating compassion, you can turn empathic distress into healthy empathic attunement. In other words, you will be able to choose how you will respond to the suffering of others. Remember, you can provide better service to your clients when compassion propels you to take action and give adequate support. Intense sharing of others’ pain, on the other hand, may lead you to suppressing or avoiding not only the negative emotions but all emotions, hindering your ability to serve. Follow these simple steps to begin your compassion training to prevent burnout and increase resilience in response to everyday life situations:
Sit in a comfortable position and yawn mindfully and slowly for 30 to 60 seconds. Yawning is the fastest and simplest way to reduce neurological stress, interrupting anxious thoughts and feelings.
Bring to mind a memory of a meaningful place, event, or a person you love and cherish that evokes happiness and peace.
Focus your attention on positive feelings.
Stay fully present with the experience and savor the moment. Savoring a pleasant experience or intentionally prolonging and enhancing positive feelings can improve psychological well-being.
Repeat a phrase or mantra that expresses loving-kindness towards yourself and others, such as, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be peaceful, or may all beings be happy, may all beings be healthy, may all beings be peaceful.
Multiple studies show that loving-kindness meditation interventions could enhance positive emotions in daily life. Take the time to practice compassion training regularly to increase your resilience, prevent burnout, and provide better support to those who need it. Remember, self-care is essential in any helping profession, so prioritize your well-being to better serve those in need. To download a Loving-Kindness Meditation audio, please visit here.
Liliam Llanos applies the latest breakthroughs in the field of Network Neuroscience in the development of strategies for stress relief and trauma resolution. Liliam works with counselors, coaches, and holistic practitioners worldwide as a certified trainer through her science-based Trauma Resolution Certification.
Liliam is deeply committed to promoting trauma awareness to end the stigma surrounding mental health and help end suffering in the world. Fluent in both English and Spanish and as a mother of a child with disabilities, Liliam is passionate about helping individuals from diverse backgrounds and abilities overcome trauma. By leveraging her extensive research and personal experience, Liliam is able to provide a compassionate approach along with effective science-based strategies for healing and growth.
Liliam Llanos, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Liliam Llanos is a certified Trauma Resolution Coach and Trainer committed to bringing together mindfulness techniques and brain research-based tools to show her clients how to overcome trauma, increase their self-esteem, and create greater balance, growth and a meaningful life. Liliam also brings awareness and integration of science-based strategies to counselors, coaches, and holistic practitioners through her Trauma Resolution Certification program. She is fluent in both English and Spanish.
Resources:
The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: a meta-analytic review.Front Psychol. 2015 Nov 3;6:1693. Zeng X, Chiu CP, Wang R, Oei TP, Leung FY. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01693.
Empathy and compassion. Curr Biol. 2014 Sep 22;24(18):R875-R878. SingerT, Klimecki OM. doi: 10.1016/j.cub.2014.06.054.
Presence, Resilience, and Compassion Training in Clinical Education (PRACTICE): A Follow-Up Evaluation of a Resident-Focused Wellness Program. J Grad Med Educ. 2023 Apr;15(2):237-243. doi: 10.4300/JGME-D-22-00422.
