Emotions Are the Data That Direct Us Back Home to Ourselves
Meagan Hruska is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and has been practicing both in-office therapy and Equine Assisted Psychotherapy for 10 years. She currently owns her own practice and is a co-founder of Dusty Boots Barn, where she provides counseling services and innovative trainings for professionals in the mental health field.
When coming into therapy, the idea of having to “feel” emotions or “talk” about emotions can be a big barrier, prompting us to steer clear of mental health services, especially when many of us have been taught that accessing emotions is a weakness. But what if emotions aren’t what you think they are?
When I facilitated men’s prison programs, there was always at least one man who would initially say something along the lines of “Don’t be making us too emotional now,” “I don’t want to be all feminine,” “Don’t turn us into women,” or “Don’t make us weak with all the emotion stuff,” and everyone would chuckle in agreement. These men were also in prison, surviving what they referred to as “the jungle.” They couldn’t afford to be perceived as weak. It could (literally) be dangerous to be “soft.”
Here’s what most people don’t understand about emotions: they are simply data. That’s it. To feel and know emotions is not the same as being reactive or overly expressive about them. Emotions are a map, a sort of global positioning system (GPS) that helps us navigate life. They are a divine tool. Their purpose is to help us, to show us the way.
“Don’t make us weak with all that emotion stuff,” – said a client to a therapist
Emotions tell us when something is working and when it isn’t. They tell us when we are on our purpose or mission and when we aren’t, what’s in alignment and what isn’t. Emotions show us what matters to us and what doesn’t, our likes and dislikes, and who’s a good fit for us and who isn’t. They show us what we care about and what we don’t. If you can’t access your emotions or you push them away, you are living a life without all the data or information. Yikes.
We wonder why we feel directionless or empty. Shutting off emotions means limiting access to crucial information. It’s like having a GPS that you’ve turned off. Instead, you try to find your way blindly, wandering around aimlessly in the dark and never getting anywhere.
Imagine how much easier it would be if you decided to just use the GPS or map.
When the men I worked with in prison realized this was all emotions were, they became more willing to access them, feel them, and use them. They actually became more powerful, more aware, and more grounded. They could lead! They then had a map, their map. They began following it, and boy, did they rise.
Those men in prison who chose to work with their emotions found their purpose. They got on mission and were no longer lost.
Emotions aren’t something to fear. They are something to use to navigate life successfully. They are an incredible tool, especially when you know how to understand them, feel them, and use them effectively.
They are a tool for self-mastery, communication, relationships, and your mission. Without them, there is no real direction.
This is why we get to know our emotions and what they tell us. Once we interpret the information and understand our emotions, we feel them so they can be released from the body and then pass.
The idea that we also need to feel and release past emotions is crucial. When we let go of the past, our emotional system operates more efficiently. We then need less energy to decipher whether the emotion we feel is from the past or the present. The more we release the past, the more we can trust the immediate feedback of the nervous system. When this tool operates smoothly, it leads to more efficient decision-making and action. Hello, powerful leadership!
There truly is so much wisdom and strength in emotion work. For those of us brave enough to decide that emotions are a strength, we can successfully conquer and overcome life’s challenges.
Although learning to understand and work with our emotions takes time, here are five quick steps to begin tapping into the power of regulating your emotions.
Name the emotion and remind yourself it’s just information. Its job is to help you by communicating something to you. What is it telling you?
Is this emotion from the past or the present? Is something happening now in your immediate environment that is bringing up a strong emotional response, such as an argument with a spouse or a stressful situation at work? (This may be a present emotion.) Or is there no identifiable immediate stressor in your current environment, but you are still noticing a rising emotion? (This is likely a past emotion surfacing to be processed because your nervous system is relaxed. Your body is ready to let it go!)
Take three deep breaths from your stomach. This type of breathing communicates to your body that you are safe, making it easier to understand, interpret, feel, and let emotions pass through your system. Repeat as needed.
Put both feet on the ground and press them down. This grounds your body, which can help prevent the feeling that emotions are “taking over.”
Place a hand on your body where you feel the emotion and gently apply pressure. This pressure signals to your body that you are safe. It also helps you develop more awareness of the connection between your body and emotions.
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Meagan Hruska, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Meagan Hruska, MS, LMHC, is a leader and innovator in the mental health field, evolving and pushing the field forward through her insight gained from years of clinical experience practicing and providing mental health-based services in numerous settings. She also specializes in incorporating experiential learning and somatic-based practice in her work, as well as Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy, where clients experience services in the company of horses and nature. Her intention is to help people reconnect and become embodied in the essence of who they are, both personally and professionally.
