Desiree Holmes Scherini is an Award Winning, Board Certified, Master Transpersonal Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Author and Intuitive. She helps others through personal intuition, spiritual exploration, and paths toward personal transformation, using Hypnosis and several other modalities including Cognitive Behavioral, Mindfulness, Psychic Intuitive and Art therapy.
I’ll begin this article with a brief description of Stoicism. I think this is important, because I personally had heard the word “stoic” over the years and had only understood it in the most common usage as “indifferent”, or “not caring”. Then, I came upon the Philosophy of Stoicism and found a whole new world, and even more, that through my own life’s path and my training and choices as a Life Coach, I was practicing and teaching the tenets of Stoicism already through modalities like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness. I want to share it with you here for the immense benefits it offers toward inner peace in a chaotic world.
Stoicism as a philosophy dates back to about 300 BC in Greece and spread through Roman times. Many well-known names are associated with it, such as Socrates and Aristotle, Epictetus, Seneca and others. However, perhaps best known is Marcus Aurelius, a Roman Emperor who ruled from 161 to 180 CE. His writings, meant for his own reflection as a sort of diary as a source for his own guidance and self-improvement, is titled “Meditations” and continues to be available and popular today. A quick Google search of his name will find quotes, memes, and inspirational reflections based on his writings.
Stoicism, like other philosophies, has some basic tenets that can be expanded upon. For the sake of this article, I will stick to the basics and allow the curious reader to explore even further. The main valuable tenet is that we cannot control the world around us, only how we respond. Stoicism tells us that we control ourselves through our thoughts, emotions, and actions. We control and have power to choose self-discipline in each of those areas. So, let’s look at this with a real-world example of how you can apply the wisdom of Stoicism.
Thoughts lead to Emotions which lead to Actions and back again. Let’s face it – “stuff” happens. Things that we don’t want or welcome. The thoughts that we have about these things lead to the emotions we feel about them, and the actions we follow with. I’m not saying that we should deny the impact of negative events, but that we can, with practice, ameliorate the impact through making different thought choices in the first place. Suppose, for example, you are driving to an important meeting and get a flat tire. Your immediate thoughts may be “my day is ruined, nothing ever works out right, missing the meeting will ruin everything, why me?! I can’t afford this.” Etc. These thought reactions lead to emotions. Likely, feelings of anger, frustration, and fear will follow. This is perfectly natural. However, acting based on these emotions can perpetuate and expand the negative impact of the event. Someone in a state of anger, frustration and fear may make careless or dangerous choices that make the situation even worse. For example, one might have a temper tantrum and race through traffic with a flat tire to the meeting with disregard for safety. They may call the tow company with a short temper, yell, look for blame where it doesn’t belong, berate oneself for things beyond their control and spread their own discontent to others. Some may carry those emotions far into the future, creating an expectation of things “never working out for them”, and subtly influence such to be their truth.
So, what’s the alternative? Begin with the knowledge that you have the personal power and freedom to choose your thoughts about the event. You need not be a victim of circumstance. With some mental self-discipline and practice you can simply see an event as neutral, just a “something” that happens. Consider the options for dealing with it and taking practical steps toward resolving the issue, without negative emotion or actions based on them. Epictetus stated, “It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." I like to suggest that rather than “react” allow yourself time to “respond”. Take the mental pause that allows you to reframe the event as simply something to be addressed rather than an assault on your peace of mind. When you feel things are out of control, that is your reminder to release efforts to control that which you cannot and reclaim control of your thoughts. That is where your power is.
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”― Marcus Aurelius
Desiree Holmes Scherini, Master Hypnotherapist and Coach
Desiree Holmes Scherini is an Award Winning, Board Certified, Master Transpersonal Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Author and Intuitive. She helps others through personal intuition, spiritual exploration, and paths toward personal transformation, using Hypnosis and several other modalities including Cognitive Behavioral, Mindfulness, Psychic Intuitive and Art therapy. As an International Speaker and workshop leader she presents on wellness and metaphysical topics to various groups. She is the host of YouTube and Podcast show “Intuitive Journey with Desiree” and the Author of “Journey to Joy-The Written Path”. You can find more about Desiree through these links.
