Does Your Life Make You Happy?
Updated: Jun 1
Written by: Tau Rebecca Mikkelsen, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
For many people, the corona time is a negative and challenging time full of isolation, anxiety and abandoned plans. But for me, it's also an exciting time—a time of opportunity. When doors close somewhere, it awakens a curiosity in me. What new doors can I open? I need to find new ways to be with people. I have to find new ways in my business. It is not to trivialize the corona. Many people are deeply affected and people are dying. I have great respect for their grief and frustration. At the same time, I would also like to invite you to look at the possibilities of this different time. Because it has given many of us a temporary respite, a free space with room for reflection.
An opportunity to note: Am I living the life I want? Does the life I live make me happy? Is there room for what I want in my life? Do I have the freedom I want? The health, the relationships, the job and the economy?
If you had a magic wand ...
I work professionally to help people look at these issues. Many people can not answer the question, "What does your dream life look like? What kind of life would you love to live?" Our way of life doesn't give us the opportunity and space to notice and ask ourselves that question.
We are so used to life being something that lives us rather than the opposite and pulls us in whatever direction that allows us to get through the day. I always ask my clients: If you thought anything was possible. If you had a magic wand, all the money in the world and knew that you would succeed with everything you do. What kind of life would you love to live? What does your dream life look like? And the answer is ALWAYS that their lives would look different than it does now.
You can do what you want
But why don't we live the life we would love to live? How hard can it be? It's actually really hard. Because we don't believe that it is possible. We have learned that it is our external circumstances that determine our possibilities. I can't work with what I really love, because I don't have the education. I can't travel the world with my family, because I don't have the money. I can't find a girlfriend, because I live in a small town.
We are stuck in our beliefs about ourselves and the world, and we are guided by some learned patterns that tell us what we can and cannot do. And as Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." And if you notice, there is a huge energy and drive in that statement. It makes a difference whether I think I can, or I think I can't.
Think like an elite athlete
This is well known in elite sports. Here you work very consciously with the mental power that lies in an authentic belief that I CAN. All athletes are in sublime shape, so where the real competition is really going on is in the mindset. The vision about the victory. She who has visualized herself running across the finishing line as number one, she who has received the audience's storming applause in her imagination and has felt the victory in her body before the start. She is the one winning. And she knows that if she has the slightest doubt, the slightest "if only I can", then she has lost.
Get out of your comfortzone
Pippi Longstocking says: "I have not done this before, I should definitely be able to do this." And Pippi has probably failed a couple of times with that attitude. But it is also the reason why she has succeeded in doing a lot of things that she didn't have any guarantees would succeed before doing them. Still, most of us want a guarantee that things will turn out well before we do them. We want to know in advance that we will succeed. That we can. We would prefer that there is a fire in the fireplace before we feed it with wood. We want the success, the money-flow before we start the business.
But it doesn't really work that way. If we want a guarantee that what we do works, we can only do what we have already done before. The things that we know. And then we have to stay in our comfort zone and repeat what we usually do. But this is not where the new things are created.
A wise person once said: "Some people live 90 years. Others live one year 90 times".
And to be honest, many of us do the last thing. We stay in our comfort zone and repeat the life we know. Even though that zone is not necessarily the most comfortable. But at least we know it. And our brain tells us it's important to stay in that safety
Goodbye to the fear, brain
"That is why we must begin to explore and discover ourselves."
After all, our brain continues to operate like our primordial brain. It is still encoded in the same way as when we used to live in caves thousands of years ago, and its purpose was to keep us alive. Literally: Will I be eaten by a tiger, or am I safe. And everything we haven't done before our brain reacts to as a potential "tiger". If we become aware that this is actually what is happening, then we can begin to take control, instead of letting our fear brain dominate. As we live in our modern world, it is rarely a matter of life or death when we want to move outside of our comfort zone.
Once we begin to open up to the new, we will also face other obstacles within ourselves. Because as human beings, we tend to sabotage ourselves all the time. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to growing and move ourselves from where we are to where we want to be. That is why we must begin to explore and discover ourselves. It's not just us who are going to make our lives and dreams grow. Creating our dream life also requires us to be ready to grow as human beings. And it is an inner process that requires curiosity, love, courage and determination.
Welcome to your dream life
When I work with my clients, I introduce them to a mindset and tools that give them insight and the power to achieve the life they dream of. They learn to focus on WHAT they want. And WHY they want it. They learn how to discover where they are sabotaging themselves. How their learned patterns and believes prevent them from going in the direction of their dreams. And instead of damaging themselves, they learn how to become their own best support on the journey towards their dream life. With self-insight and the right tools, we can all accelerate our dreams. It feels like a catapult that creates flow and opportunities and leads us to where we feel most alive
So what do you dream about?
Howard Thurman, who was Martin Luther King's mentor, once said these wise and inspiring words: "Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive."
So try this: Close your eyes for a moment. Take a deep breath and imagine what your life looks like when you do what makes you feel most happy, energetic and alive. What makes you feel free, abundant and in love with your life.
Mmm, can you feel it?
It's a great place to be. Welcome to your dream life. Go do it!
Tau Rebecca Mikkelsen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tau Rebecca Mikkelsen is a certified holistic life and business coach. With her vision driven approach to life and business, she helps entrepreneurs grow their full potential business. This is what she says about herself and her work: "I am an expert in following my heart. I love my coaching business and I practice what I preach. In order to grow a successful business, you have to be willing to grow yourself. Exploring and expanding every single day. This creates flow, coherence, happiness and abundance in all areas of your life. This is my own personal experience and this is what I see happening in all of my clients' lives."