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Ditch The Superwoman Tiara – Be Yourself, You Are Enough

Written by: Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Executive Contributor Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar

In today’s fast-paced and ever-demanding world, we, as women, often find ourselves balancing an array of roles—professional, mother, wife, daughter, friend, community leader and many more. Amidst this juggling act, the societal expectation to be a "superwoman" can cast a daunting shadow over the quest for personal fulfillment and self-care. Yet, as we celebrate International Women's Day, we are reminded that true empowerment stems from authenticity and self-love rather than the pursuit of perfection and meeting everyone else’s needs.

Mother and son hugging and looking happy, spending time together

Reflecting on my own journey, I went through a phase where external expectations clouded my inner voice. As a life and relationship coach, I found myself helping others follow their hearts and love themselves while I struggled to follow my own teaching. The demands of life pulled me in so many directions that I found myself on the brink of burnout. Trying to be everything for everyone, except for the one person who mattered the most—myself – took a big toll on my physical well-being. It wasn't until I was completely worn out that I realized that I could not pour from an empty cup. I decided then to practice what I preached, making self-care a non-negotiable part of my routine. This shift did not happen overnight, but gradually, as I learned to value my well-being, I noticed a profound impact on all facets of my life. My relationships deepened, my work flourished, and most importantly, I rediscovered the joy in simply being me—with all my flaws and imperfections. This personal awakening fuels my passion to help other women find their path to self-acceptance and fulfillment.

Here are five transformative practices that can guide women towards leading a fulfilling life by honoring their own needs and desires and embracing their true selves.

1. Embrace unconditional self-love

Self-love is a foundational pillar for living authentically. It involves treating oneself with the same love, kindness and understanding one would offer a dear friend. Embracing your imperfections and acknowledging your struggles is not a sign of weakness but a courageous act of self-acceptance.

  • Practice meditation: Begin by incorporating at least 10-15 minutes of quiet time into your daily routine. Meditation can create a space for you to observe your thoughts without judgment and foster a gentle attitude towards yourself.

  • Forgive yourself: Understand that making mistakes is part of the human experience. Practice self-forgiveness for past errors and learn from them instead.

  • Celebrate small victories: Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. This practice nurtures a sense of accomplishment and reinforces positive self-regard.

2. Set healthy boundaries

The art of boundary setting is crucial for mental well-being and self-respect. Healthy boundaries help you define what you are comfortable with and how you wish to be treated by others.

  • Learn to say no: Grant yourself the permission to decline requests or commitments that do not align with your values or well-being. Saying no is not selfish; it's a form of self-respect.

  • Communicate clearly: Express your needs and limits to others assertively and respectfully. Clear communication minimizes misunderstandings and builds stronger relationships.

  • Prioritize your needs: Regularly assess your own needs and make them a priority. This ensures that you are not consistently placing others' needs before your own.

3. Pursue passions and interests

Engaging in activities that you are passionate about can greatly enhance your sense of self and lead to profound fulfillment.

  • Explore new hobbies: Be open to trying new things. Exploring different hobbies can lead to unexpected sources of joy and satisfaction.

  • Invest time wisely: Allocate time each week to engage in activities that fuel your passions, whether it's painting, writing, sports, or any other pursuit that makes your heart sing.

  • Connect with like-minded individuals: Seek out communities or groups that share your interests. These connections can provide support, inspiration, and enriching experiences.

4. Embrace lifelong learning

The journey of self-discovery is never-ending. Embrace the concept of lifelong learning as a way to continually evolve and grow.

  • Diversify your reading list: Expand your horizons by reading books on various subjects. Literature can offer new perspectives and insights into different aspects of life.

  • Seek mentorship: Find mentors or coaches who embody qualities you admire. Their guidance can provide valuable lessons and motivation to pursue your goals.

  • Attend workshops or classes: Enroll in courses or workshops that interest you. Education is a powerful tool for personal development and can open doors to new opportunities.

5. Practice gratitude

Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. This positive mindset can enhance overall happiness and satisfaction with life.

  • Keep a gratitude journal: Write down three things you are grateful for each day. This habit can transform your outlook on life and foster positivity.

  • Radiate appreciation: Expressing gratitude to people in your life strengthens bonds and spreads joy.

  • Reflect on progress: Take time to reflect on how far you've come in your life's journey. Recognizing your growth fosters gratitude for your experiences and resilience.

As we celebrate International Women's Day, let us honor not just the collective achievements of women around the globe but also the small, personal wins we experience in our daily lives. It is through the acts of self-care and self-love that one can build resilience, nurture happiness, and create a truly fulfilling life.

As a ‘recovering perfectionist(!)’, I find it liberating to learn that perfection is not required, nor is it our duty to ensure everyone's happiness at all times. The myth of the superwoman is just that—a myth. Embracing our genuine selves, complete with our flaws and limitations, is where our true strength lies. Being true to yourself is the greatest gift you can offer the world. You need not be a superwoman; you are already enough just as you are—an extraordinary woman with unique gifts, ready to make her lasting mark on the canvas of life.

It's in the beauty of our authenticity and the courage to show up as we are, without the unrealistic pressure to be superwomen, that we find the freedom to live a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.  Rupali Apshankar

Rupali is a Certified Life and Relationship Coach and co-founder of Blissvana. She helps women prioritize self-love, manifest personal dreams and achieve professional goals through holistic coaching, meditation and self-care techniques. Rupali is an internationally certified Heal Your Life Coach and Workshop Leader as well as Heal Your Life Teen Empowerment Program Teacher based on the philosophy of Louise Hay. She has an MBA in International Business from Boston, USA. Prior to doing work in self-growth, self-development area for the past 9 years, Rupali worked in Technology companies in Silicon Valley, California, for more than 15 years. Learn more about Rupali and her work. 

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Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar Brainz Magazine

Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Kapil and Rupali are Amazon's No.1 bestselling authors and globally respected business and life strategists. They are founders of Blissvana, a boutique personal development, self-growth, and success studio. Their coaching methods have been proven at the highest levels of success in every dimension of human life. Kapil and Rupali's lives revolve around love, happiness, abundance, and bliss ‒ at home and work. Kapil and Rupali's purpose is to create the highest possible quality of life they can for themselves, and the people they love while helping others around them do the same.



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