Crossroad Moments What A Blessing They Are
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 2, 2021
- 4 min read
Written by: Leah Marmulla, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Conflict occurs when there is a misalignment between the parties involved. Misaligned beliefs, contextual or definitional differences, goals, expectations, and histories. The gap difference in any or all of these influences the quality of interactions between the parties. Based on psychological theories, we create our core and fundamental beliefs and rues at a young age. They are then modified and refined with years of experience. Still, the core, the fundamental interpretation of ‘things’, stays the same. it is when we are asked or forced to explore the quintessential question, “Is this how I want to continue living, being, doing?
This question can raise itself at any given moment because it comes up at those crossroad moments. Do I stay safe, in the known and familiar, even if it is painful, uneventful or risky even? Or do I become more, step up, take that leap of faith and choose for me, and who I desire to become? So many potential scenarios can bring us to this point, the roundabout even of going around in circles. At the same time, we build clarity and courage to decide who and what we choose to be, and therefore do.
How big the crossroad decision is, in my opinion, represents how misaligned we are from our true life purpose or passion we are living at the time. We know life has a way of asking us to check-in, assess if we are honestly living a life true to ourselves. To consider how much we live our lives or follow others’ ideals, expectations, or dreams for us.
Relationships – how important is this person in my life? Do I stay, go or compromise (how much)?
Career – is it worth the hours, the pay, the challenge, being taken away from other parts of living???
Friendships – are we growing at a similar pace, or are we too different now? How do I navigate these changes and differences?
Dreams – is the risk worth it? What could I lose/gain if I did/didn’t jump with a leap of faith?
Self-care and development – do I put myself first to continue to bring my A-game, or are other’s more important?
I am confident to say we have all been at a crossroads at some time or another, most likely several times in different life segments. For myself, I hope the crossroad moments don’t stop, for it is in these experiences. We have the opportunity to become more explicit about ourselves, our intent, and our life purpose. Who do we choose to be, and how do I live this?
Crossroads allow us to explore our beliefs. All those shoulds and should not’s; for them and not for us; can and can not; must and must not etc. So many rules about what is suitable for us and how we live life. We give ourselves a gift by exploring our rules, expectations, limitations, fears, and perceptions, all the various aspects that hold our beliefs in place. The gift is a key. It unlocks parts of our past, keeping us small, stuck, in fear, feeling less than, inadequate, separate from experiences and people. Things and experiences we would actually like to have in our lives.
Unlocking the binds, the cage holding our younger self captive, continually relive painful emotions of significant life moments we set ourselves free. The freedom is to consciously choose what we want to believe, feel, think, and do, and therefore who we decide to show up in this world. Coming back to the crossroad moment, it is this we are doing. We choose between keeping the lock closed or opening it to free ourselves to be our true selves.
The concept of self-responsibility for our challenge experiences is relatively new. For this reason, alone, we can be self-empathetic and compassionate. Simply, most people are ignorant and lack self-awareness, let alone make sense of why they do what they do, feel what they feel, and choose what they do. If people are not self-aware, then the crossroad moments are the perfect opportunity to start. Our future happiness and success are in the balance in these situations. They are bringing us back to the opportunity to explore, heal, transform and create who we are to become to have the experiences by choice and not default. Gifted the chance to declare and design a life closer to our life purpose. Knowing that we could be asked to stop, reflect, and repeatedly modify throughout our lives at any given moment.
Like all things we give learning to, navigating crossroad moments become easier. We become more familiar and comfortable with asking ourselves challenging questions. We develop empathy for others as we realise we all live from what we know and are comfortable with. We learn to have an allowance for other’s beliefs and holding healthy boundaries when there is dissonance between us and others. We understand what is important to us as individuals and living from our truth and simultaneously respecting others.
If, like many, you are new to the concept of self-awareness to the belief level. Reach out and take comfort you are not alone or download a copy of the 20 Pivotal Questions to help you explore what is important to you and where you want to be heading.
Want to learn more from Leah? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website.
Leah Marmulla, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Leah has been to the dark side and back at least three times. It was during her last life attempt that triggered a deep realization. She recalls thinking, "If I'm not allowed to leave, then I need to work out how to live." With this realization, Leah deep-dived into her own shadow sides and now shares with others her passion — 'creating life on one's own terms.'
We all have a choice, but often we are so buried under other's expectations and rules we feel hopeless and disconnected. Growing out of the painful past, resulted in Leah authoring What the Mind Sees, the Body Feels, Creates and Attracts, and an Awareness and Accountability Journal of self-awareness, discovery, and manifestation towards the person the reader chooses to be and live from.
