Courage vs. Confidence – Why Courage Comes First
- Brainz Magazine
- 2 days ago
- 7 min read
Clio Bushland is a specialist in Courageous Living and Leadership. She combines her background in Marriage and Family Therapy with a foundation in neuroscience and over two decades of business leadership to help people transform fear from a barrier into useful data and energy, and align their actions with their goals at work and at home.
In leadership and in life, we often wait for confidence before we act. In reality, confidence comes from meaningful action. Over the years, I've noticed that when my clients focus on building confidence, they often feel frustrated and behind. One day, confidence is high, the next, it is gone, and its absence feels like some kind of failure. But when we shift the focus to understanding and accepting fear, they feel more resilient and energized, while also less discouraged when confidence wavers.
“I have not only faced fears, but walked through them. Now I look forward to the increased confidence that comes every single time I do something that I didn’t think I could.” – Shelly – Engineer, Inventor, and Client
Confidence is a prediction, not a prerequisite
Confidence is often seen as a prerequisite for meaningful action. We want to feel confident before we share our ideas, make a big decision, or take a risk. But confidence is a result of taking these actions, not a prerequisite to taking them.
Confidence is the brain’s anticipation of success based on experience. The brain reviews prior outcomes and predicts whether we are likely to succeed. If it decides we are likely to succeed, we feel confident. If it doesn’t have enough data to predict success with confidence, we feel fear. It is the brain’s way of warning you of risk.
The trap of waiting to feel ready
Waiting to “feel confident” before starting becomes a trap. It stops you from taking action and allows you to confuse avoidance with preparation. Fear does not mean you are not ready. You can be prepared without feeling ready. You can be ready and still feel afraid.
Feeling ready rarely precedes action, that feeling of readiness emerges through action. When we wait for confidence to come first, we reinforce hesitation rather than progress. Removing the expectation of feeling ready eliminates an unnecessary barrier.
There are also situations we never fully feel ready for, no matter how many times we experience them. Some situations reliably activate the threat response even after repeated exposure. Think of activities such as public speaking and performance that trigger our fear of social evaluation. Even seasoned professionals experience stage fright. This is not a weakness. It is a biological reality.
Why new situations trigger fear instead of confidence
Why is it that new situations can trigger such fear even when they seem innocuous or straightforward on the surface? Why can we come off a success in one area but immediately feel a lack of confidence when we start something new?
When we do something new, our brain has no data to work with. Because one of its most primal jobs is to keep us alive, the brain defaults to caution. Novelty is often treated as a potential threat until proven safe. The novelty is why starting something new can feel so scary. Even when the new thing is something good and rewarding, it can still bring substantial fear.
Risk and reward are inextricably linked
The actions that move us forward and bring us reward generally involve risk. Sometimes that risk is tangible. Leaving your position to start your own business involves financial risk.
Sometimes it isn’t so tangible. Building your personal brand requires exposure that leaves us feeling vulnerable to judgment or ridicule. Your brain is wired to perceive risk as a threat and respond with fear. Courage lets you use that fear as valuable data for decision-making rather than letting it be the final decision-maker.
All that said, I am talking about the fear that arises when we are doing something new or challenging, but also necessary to our goals. I am not talking about a gut feeling of dread when you are about to walk down a dark alley. While our nervous systems are not designed to handle hours of doomscrolling, they are highly equipped to handle situational threats. If your gut says take a different street, or avoid that person, or be extra cautious in an unfamiliar environment, listen.
Remember that courage aligns our actions with our values. Unless one of your values is putting yourself at unnecessary risk, remember to use your judgment about when to use courage to push through and when to listen to what your fear is telling you. While risk is part of life and progress, there is no need to add risk without reason.
Fear is not a personal failing – It is a neurobiological state
Our bodies have predictable physical responses such as tension, increased heart rate, and narrowed attention when our threat detection system is triggered by conflict, new opportunities, or unfamiliar situations. Sometimes, no amount of positive self-talk returns the nervous system to baseline. This is not a weakness or a character flaw.
This is your brain doing its job, protecting you, avoiding threat, seeking familiarity. It is also not (usually) a sign to stop. You can handle fear and uncertainty. You are built for it.
Courage is always available – Confidence isn’t
One reason I focus almost exclusively on courage rather than confidence is that courage is always available. Courage breeds action, which is essential for your growth. Confidence depends on internal and external conditions, memory, physiological state, and prediction. Some days your nervous system simply cannot generate confidence. But courage remains an option regardless of your emotional state.
Another advantage of courage is that it enables us to take the actions that build confidence. Courage enables us to take action, gain exposure, and build experience, which is precisely how the brain learns to predict success, build familiarity, and generate confidence.
Courage into action into capability into confidence.
Waiting for confidence can lead to stagnation, avoidance, and procrastination. Take action first. Confidence comes later.
Courage moves us forward when confidence can’t
When you choose to have that necessary but uncomfortable conversation or begin the exciting but intimidating project, you are using courage to move toward what matters.
Courage can look many different ways, and much of the time you can’t see it at all. For some, leaving the house is a profound act of courage. For others, it doesn’t even register. Some people can lead a meeting with no hesitation or fear, but asking someone for help leaves them with sweaty palms.
At work, we require courage to speak up in meetings, request resources, or pursue a promotion. In our personal lives, courage might mean setting a boundary, scheduling a doctor’s appointment, or trying something new.
Whether you are leading a team or leading your own life, courage is the mechanism that moves you forward when confidence is unavailable. Courage allows you to take control and act despite fear, which is vital to progress in all areas of your life.
How courage builds true, lasting confidence
And that brings us to practical application. How do you take courageous action when your brain is sounding the alarm?
Below is a simple, science-informed framework to help you move from fear into meaningful action.
The BRAVE method™
B: Breathe & break the cycle
The first step is to interrupt the body’s automatic fear response and stop spiraling. Slowing our breathing engages the prefrontal cortex and re-engages the part of our brain that enables us to make decisions based on logic rather than fear. Another fast and effective technique is to soften your gaze or widen your field of vision. Under stress, our visual field narrows, expanding it engages the parasympathetic system and helps reduce threat activation. The two combined are a powerful way of signaling your brain to shift resources from responding to a threat to solving a problem.
R: Reality check
Ground yourself in what is actually happening. Modern threats are rarely physical danger. More often, ambiguity, interpretation, or uncertainty triggers our threat detection system. Give the situation the urgency it actually merits, not the urgency assigned by fear. You can’t take five minutes to calm your nervous system when the building is on fire. You usually benefit from giving yourself time to settle down before you send that angry email or respond to that negative comment on social media. Dealing with disrespect from a coworker can wait until you have had a chance to think about how you want to respond. The closer to the problem, the better, but it doesn’t have to be immediate.
A: Align with your values & direction
Reconnect to what matters most to you. Make sure your choices align with your values and goals. Courage becomes more accessible and sustainable when anchored in integrity and in your purpose.
V: Venture forward
Move forward, whether it is a bold leap or a single tiny step. What matters is movement in the direction you want to go.
E: Evaluate, celebrate, and iterate
Once you have taken action, notice the outcome, what you learned, and what data you generated. This step is essential, especially when your motivation system is strained by stress or low emotional bandwidth. Sometimes you will take action and get immediate validation that the choice you made moved you in the direction you want to go. Sometimes you will have to wait for that validation. And sometimes you will get it wrong. You will make mistakes and missteps, that is part of being human. You still get credit for moving forward despite fear. Celebrate the act of courage itself, even if the outcome isn’t what you hoped. Win or learn. Continue or adjust your next steps based on the information you just gathered.
In summary
Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the willingness to act in the service of what matters most, even when afraid.
If you want to build something meaningful, a life, a team, a company, courage is not optional. It is a foundational capability. Confidence is great, but it is a result of action, not a requirement for action. Courage is the gateway skill that enables progress. Once you start taking action, confidence follows.
Read more from Clio Bushland
Courageous Living and Leadership Specialist
Clio Bushland is a specialist in Courageous Living and Leadership who helps people move through fear with clarity and intention. Her background spans Marriage and Family Therapy, neuroscience, nonprofit leadership, and more than two decades of hands-on business management. She teaches people to transform fear from a barrier into useful data and energy, making it possible to align their actions with their goals in both work and life. Clio is known for blending research with real-world practicality, supporting leaders and individuals in building the resilience and skills needed to navigate today’s complex and rapidly changing world.
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