Circumstances Do Not Define You
- May 16, 2022
- 4 min read
Written by: Louise Bond, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
My first memory of my dad was of him hitting my mum over the head with a hammer, blood streaming down her face, screaming, crying, and begging him to stop. I was 4 years old. I was screaming at him to stop, but he left and returned as if nothing had happened.
He was a vile person so self-absorbed, and he didn't give a shit about my mum, brother, or me. He loved the drink more than he loved us. We would have no food in the house, but he would by himself a Chinese and eat in front of us. He once tipped the leftovers over my mum's head. She just sat there crying. I used to wonder why she never stuck up for herself.
He would put cigarettes out on my mum, and I lost count of the black eyes. The fights and rows would wake me up in the early hours. I would always help my mum by jumping on his back and punching him in the head until he would stop. We didn't have much money, but he would spend on himself what we had. Everything we had was second-hand, but his clothes were always brand new. I remember always wishing I was adopted and my real dad would come and save us one day. He would urinate all over the house when he was drunk. Their bedroom stunk of dry urine, a smell that made me want to vomit. One day he was drunk, I woke up, and I was lying in his urine as it was my bed he had urinated over this time. We constantly had bailiffs knocking at the door, and the only way to describe home life was sad. No child deserves to grow up feeling unhappy and unsafe.
Same at school, one girl would consistently make remarks or make fun because I never had new things like she did. I believe that when people target or bully people, it's an issue they have they are projecting onto someone else. I never argued with her; I just knew I would outsmart her one day, and my success and happiness would speak for themselves.
From a young age, I vowed when I had kids, they would grow up feeling safe and loved.
I also knew I would make sure I always had money and there was food on the table.
I could have been the victim of the circumstances I grew up in, or I could continue the cycle. I made the choice that was not going to happen.
I left home at 18, and I felt free from the hostile environment for the first time.
I got a job in recruitment, and I was made a director at 21. It wasn't easy, but I was so determined to make a success of myself.
I won many awards:
Global Recruiter Awards
Highly Commended
The Best Specialist Recruitment Business, The Best For Recruitment Awards
Health Social Care Gold Award, Global Recruiter Awards
Highly Commended
The Best Small Recruitment Business, Global Recruiter Awards
Finalists
The Best Specialist Recruitment Business, IRP
Finalists
The Best Small Recruitment Business To Work For and Recruiter Excellence Awards
Best Employee Brand Development.
Though this was an amazing achievement, I wasn't happy.
When I had my first baby, everything changed. I found my purpose. I had this gorgeous little person I had made, and just wow. Unconditional love from your kids is like nothing else, and the love I have for my now 4 kids is my why and my purpose. I always guide them to make their dreams a reality. I let them know they are more than good enough, and in life, everyone has different skill sets, but we are all enough.
I realized I was chasing success for all the wrong reasons. It was to prove a point that I could be someone. A few years later, after working with my first life coach, I remember always walking out of our sessions feeling happy and valued. This was the part I loved of my job the most, helping staff with their self-belief and achieving their goals. I started coaching and completed many courses. It was fulfilling to see people go from surviving to thriving and transforming their lives or businesses.
When I started working on my mindset and helping others work on theirs, I realized we are so conditioned to settle with what others tell us we are good enough for from a young age. Self-belief is low in a lot of people. I see the mindset as the most valuable asset. Change your mindset, and you change your life. People will buy clothes to look and feel good, have their hair done, and pay for meals to feed their bodies to keep you going, but most people tend to panic or run for the hills when investing in mindset.
Investing in my mindset was the most powerful thing I ever did, as it changed my life. If I had let the circumstances define me, I would have always believed I wasn't good enough. I would have stayed stuck and unhappy. Life is what you make, and your choices are yours. Don't let anyone or circumstance control you.
Louise Bond, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Louise has a wealth of experience and has a proven track record of manifesting, which she teaches her clients. She helps you create a crystal-clear vision for ultimate success and uncover hidden challenges that may stand in your way. She clears any underlying issues/traumas limiting beliefs holding you back that may sabotage your success. Louise rewires your mindset as the mindset is your most valuable asset, so you thrive in all areas of life, leaving you feeling re-energized and inspired. Louise's brand archetype is The Magian! Magian brands are transformative and seem to make magic happen. They often display traits that have a spiritual or psychological element. They want to expand our collective consciousness. The brands are compelling and charismatic. Magicians are highly skilled at turning problems into opportunities, reframing difficulties, empowering people, teams, and networks, and creating a win/ win solution for all involved in a situation. They make nothing into something or turn a mess into a miracle.
