You’re Not Broken, You’re Brilliantly Trained in Emotional Survival
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 14
- 5 min read
Written by Rebecca T. Dickson, Leadership Coach
Rebecca T. Dickson is recognized as one of the most transformational leaders in the world. She is the founder of The Yes Method, teaching leaders how to feel and process emotions, an intuitive author, a horse medicine practitioner, and a huge fan of nature-based therapies.
You know that thing where you can read a room in three seconds flat? Where you know someone’s having a bad day before they open their mouth? Where you’ve been managing everyone else’s emotions since you were eight years old, and you’re exhausted but can’t figure out why?
Mental health professionals see your trauma symptoms. But they see you as a victim who needs coping skills, not an emotional ninja with superpowers.
Therapists, psychologists, and trauma-informed coaches all ask what happened to you. Abuse, neglect, household dysfunction. But nobody asks what you learned to do to survive.
Nobody asks if you became your household’s emotional thermostat. If you learned to predict your parents’ moods like a meteorologist. If you handled crises no kid should have to manage. If you became the family therapist before you hit puberty.
You’ve probably been thinking, “My childhood wasn’t that bad.” If you take the ACE questionnaire, your low score confirms it. Nothing to see here.
Meanwhile, you’re hypervigilant, burned out, can’t set boundaries, and feel responsible for everyone’s emotional state. You give incredible advice but can’t follow it yourself. You’re exhausted from emotional labour you don’t even realise you’re doing.
What actually happened
You developed professional-level emotional competencies to survive. Not to help your family, but to protect yourself in an unstable environment.
You learned skills most therapists spend years training to develop. You became an expert at reading emotions, managing crises, preventing conflicts, and regulating other people’s feelings, mainly because your safety depended on it.
The four survival competencies you might have developed
Emotional support management: You became the family’s emotional regulator. When someone was upset, you absorbed their feelings and calmed them down. Not because you were nice, but because volatile emotions were dangerous.
Safety monitoring: You learned to scan for emotional threats constantly. You could predict conflicts before they happened and read micro-expressions like a lie detector because missing the signs meant you got hurt.
Adult problem management: You handled family crises, kept secrets, and made decisions no kid should have to make. Not because you were mature, but because family breakdown threatened your survival resources.
Family emotional care: You became everyone’s therapist. You mediated conflicts, managed relationships, and held everyone’s emotional wounds. Not because you wanted to help, but because family chaos threatened your safety.
These aren’t character flaws. These are sophisticated survival abilities you mastered before you could drive.
The problem
The skills that saved you as a kid are now running your adult life automatically, whether you want them to or not. You’re still scanning for threats even though you’re safe. Still absorbing everyone’s emotions even when you don’t need to. Still managing crises even when they’re not yours to solve. Still performing as everyone’s therapist even when you desperately need support yourself. Your nervous system is still running survival programmes from childhood.
Nobody has researched this population until now
The Childhood Emotional Responsibilities Scale (CERS) is the first assessment designed specifically to measure the emotional competencies children develop through survival necessity. I did the research, created it, patented it, and actively use it and its accompanying methods to serve clients.
Twenty-four questions ask about what you learned to do to stay safe. Not what was done to you, but the sophisticated skills you developed to protect yourself. It measures your specific pattern across the four domains, how much emotional regulation you did, how much threat scanning, how much crisis management, and how much family therapy.
And for the first time in your life, someone sees what you actually developed instead of just asking what happened to you. Over 400 people have completed CERS already. They consistently report feeling seen for the first time, not as damaged, but as survival experts who developed extraordinary abilities.
The paradigm shift
You’re not broken. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not failing at boundaries. You developed extraordinary abilities through survival necessity. You’re an emotional expert who never chose the job and doesn’t know how to clock out.
The goal isn’t to eliminate these competencies. It’s to use them consciously instead of compulsively. To choose when to help instead of feeling compelled to help. To honour your incredible abilities while also honouring your own needs.
Your exhaustion makes perfect sense
You’ve been performing four jobs simultaneously since childhood, all without realising it. You’re an emotional intelligence specialist, a security guard, a crisis manager, and a therapist. All at once, all the time.
No wonder you’re tired. You’re not healing from damage. You’re learning to use advanced skills by choice instead of compulsion. CERS and the four competency structure are patent pending because this work matters.
No one else has done the research to map these four survival domains. No one else has created an assessment that measures competency instead of damage. No one else has built training programmes to help professionals recognise and work with this population.
Traditional approaches try to fix you. CERS recognises you’re already incredibly skilled. You just need to learn conscious choice about when to use those skills. Traditional therapy pathologises your abilities. CERS validates them as the genuine expertise they are.
If this sounds like you
You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not imagining that something’s been missing from every session you’ve ever had. You developed high-level competencies to survive real danger. Those abilities are extraordinary, but they’re also exhausting when they run automatically, all the time, on repeat.
Recognition of what you developed helps you use it consciously. You don’t need treatment for damage. You need to learn when and how to use your skills by choice, instead of compulsion.
Want to discover your emotional expertise
Download the CERS assessment and find out what you learned to do to survive, and how those skills show up as strengths in your adult life. Expect detailed results within 48 hours.
The Childhood Emotional Responsibilities Scale and four-domain competency framework. Patent pending. Copyright 2025.
Finally, someone who sees what you actually are brilliant, not broken.
Rebecca T. Dickson, Leadership Coach
Rebecca T. Dickson is recognized as one of the most transformational leaders in the world. She is the founder of The Yes Method, teaching leaders how to feel and process emotions, and rise. During her 16 years in the coaching industry, she has served tens of thousands of clients globally. The mission: Be yourself.
