Choosing Presence Over the Algorithm
- Jan 31, 2025
- 5 min read
Written by Kate Lister, Somatic Therapist
Kate is an experienced somatic therapist with 20 years in the field. As the founder of Mind Body Integration and the host of the podcast Rhythms of Self, she guides an exploratory felt sense journey home to self.
I know social media can be a powerful tool for growing an audience and building a business. I know it’s shaping the future in ways we’re only beginning to understand. But I also know it’s a trap, one that keeps people tethered to its promises, its noise, and its endless stream of information and misinformation. In doing so, it has fundamentally altered how and why we, as a species, feel more isolated, unfulfilled, and dysregulated than ever before.
On June 21 of last year, I quit Instagram cold turkey. No more mindless scrolling, no more endless finger workouts, no more disconnection from my present-moment experience. Around that time, I listened to a podcast discussing the neurochemical changes that occur in the brain from excessive phone use, the dopamine surges, the reward loops, the heightened anxiety when disconnected. It made me realize just how deeply ingrained my habits had become and reinforced my decision to step away. I said yes to the here and now, to the discomfort of imposter syndrome that I experienced, to the ups and downs of real life. I realigned with my values, refocused on my goals, and made the choice to build my work in ways that felt true to me.
At the time, I had just rebranded my website and set an intention: to be found online without having to be online. I wanted to develop my business in alignment with my craft, an intimate, in-person experience that social media could never replicate. So, I let go. I exhaled. I stepped fully into my life again.
Weeks passed. Three, then seven, then eleven. It doesn’t seem like much, but when you’re addicted to something, eleven weeks without the habit is massive. I remember feeling uneasy about my relationship with social media, so I examined that discomfort, tracing it back to my values and purpose.
Then came the day I logged back in.
The moment the app loaded, a surge of anxiety shot through my chest and throat. I slammed my phone down and screamed. Then I went outside.
What was happening? Had my subconscious been anticipating this? More than likely. I had removed the behavior but hadn’t addressed why I was using social media in the first place. It wasn’t just a tool, I had been relying on it. I was using it because I felt insecure, afraid to trust my own ideas, afraid to take up space as a leader, a thinker, a change-maker. I had been watching what others were doing, trying to follow along, trying to belong. But my body was saying no.
I’d spent my life wanting to blend in, to be like everyone else. But that feeling of constriction and smallness? That was my soul whispering: Be yourself. Be free. Be proud.
So I stayed with the discomfort.
Every time I logged in, that same sticky, icky feeling arose. One day, I left my screen open on my homepage and allowed myself to fully experience it, no pushing it away, no numbing. It was big. It was strong. It was alive. But I knew I could hold space for it. So, I did.
As I sat with it, it shifted. As it moved, I moved. I became more aware, more conscious, more capable. And eventually, the intensity softened. A sense of openness emerged, like all the debris I’d been unconsciously holding onto was finally free to dissolve. My nervous system hummed with aliveness. My heartbeat changed. My breath fell into rhythm with it. My fascia expanded and contracted with a new sense of integrity. My posture lifted, open and at ease.
In that moment, I knew I was free.
Not all somatic experiences unfold like this. But they can. And if you’re resourced enough, you can move through discomfort rather than numb it. You can change, grow, and find new possibilities for yourself.
Social media is a double-edged sword. For me, addiction to it pulled me away from my purpose. It pulled me into a world I did not wish to live in.
I know it can be used for good. I see that. But I also see, and have felt, the cost.
Reconnecting with your values and setting social media boundaries
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pull of social media, here are a few strategies to help you reconnect with your values and maintain healthier boundaries:
1. Define your why
Take a moment to reflect on why you’re using social media in the first place. Is it to connect, to share, or to learn? Or is it to distract, numb, or compare? Write down your purpose for engaging with social media and use it as a compass. If your actions don’t align with your why, it’s time to reassess.
2. Set time limits
Create boundaries around how much time you spend on social media each day. Use tools like app timers or “focus” modes on your phone to limit access during specific times. Dedicate your reclaimed time to activities that nurture you, reading, walking, journaling, or spending time with loved ones.
3. Curate your feed
Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Unfollow or mute anything that triggers feelings of inadequacy, comparison, or stress. Remember, you have control over what you consume.
4. Create intentional rituals
Before you pick up your phone, pause and ask yourself: What am I looking for right now? If it’s connection, consider calling a friend. If it’s inspiration, try journaling or creating. Build rituals that ground you in real-life experiences rather than defaulting to your screen.
5. Schedule social media-free days
Designate specific days or times when you disconnect completely. Use this time to tune into the present moment and reconnect with your values.
6. Reconnect with your body
Notice the physical sensations that arise when you’re about to open an app. Are you tense? Restless? Excited? Over time, these cues can help you recognize patterns of overuse and give you the chance to pause before engaging.
Choose yourself
My advice? Choose yourself. Notice what you’re seeking when you reach for your phone. Are you numbing something that isn’t asking to be suppressed? Pay attention. Attune to what’s happening in the here and now, with the people you love, with the world around you, with the deeper currents of your own life.
Because that’s where the real connection is.
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Read more from Kate Lister
Kate Lister, Somatic Therapist
Kate is a compassionate leader in mind-body connection, drawing from her own profound experiences to shape her practice. Her journey through personal challenges has been a wellspring of insight, allowing her to simplify the complexities of human physiology. Kate's teachings help individuals feel safe, connected, and curious about their intelligent bodies. Passionate about supporting others, she guides people in learning to physically and emotionally regulate, fostering deeper connections and a purposeful existence.
