Break Free – How Limiting Beliefs Keep You Stuck
- Feb 4
- 7 min read
Updated: Feb 5
Ale is a Holistic Wellness Practitioner and founder of Ale's Health who creates transformative programs combining Breathwork, Mindfulness, Nutrition, and her own line of organic Health-Snacks. She empowers driven individuals to reconnect Mind & Body while unlocking their full potential.
Your mind is lying to you. And you’ve been listening for way too long. I need to tell you something that might sting a bit. Those thoughts running through your head whispering “you’re not good enough” or “that’s not for people like you”? They’re prison bars you’ve built yourself.
I know this because I lived it and keep finding more of those as I keep working on my personal growth. How did those limiting beliefs get into my head? They could’ve come from everywhere: my dad’s abandonment, the way my family talked about money, my friend’s circle, the teachers at the 10 schools I went to, and most importantly, the stories I kept telling myself for so long about each belief, consciously and unconsciously. And the worst part, I wasn’t even aware of how stuck I was.
But what the hell are limiting beliefs anyway?
Think of limiting beliefs as those invisible scripts running in the background of your mind, quietly dictating what you think you can and can’t do. Psychology research tells us these are assumptions we hold about ourselves and the world that hold us back from achieving what we’re truly capable of.
But that’s not it. These beliefs aren’t even yours. Ends up most of your beliefs were handed to you by parents, teachers, past experiences, society, the media you consumed, the friends, and the culture and environment you grew up in. All these unconscious attitudes often come from childhood learning and experiences that we’ve long forgotten, yet they still control what we do, who we are, and how we see ourselves today.
It takes more compelling evidence to change beliefs than it took to create them. That’s from decades of psychological studies. Your brain is literally wired to stick to beliefs once they’re formed, even when they’re completely wrong.
The science behind why you’re stuck
Your brain is always trying to keep you safe. And safe to your brain, means keeping everything exactly the same.
Recent neuroscience research has completely shattered the old myth that our brains are “hardwired” and unchangeable after childhood. But truly, your brain is constantly rewiring itself throughout your entire life through a process called neuroplasticity, which means you CAN literally change the physical structure of your brain by changing your constant thoughts and behaviours.
Here's how beliefs are structured within: Every experience we have is generated by a chain that begins with a belief. Beliefs lead to thoughts, thoughts create emotions, and emotions drive behaviours. It’s a domino effect! And it starts with what you believe about yourself.
Think about that for a sec. If you believe you’re unworthy, you’ll have thoughts about your unworthiness, which eventually will trigger feelings of shame and inadequacy. Feeling “not good enough” and “not capable” to accomplish your own dreams, and all the things that only you are able to see. Just to be clear here, the fact that you are able to see all your dreams, it means you are capable of achieving, and that’s already yours. This is why you’re able to see them.
How limiting beliefs are destroying your life right now
Let me paint you a picture. Maybe you’ve been in the same dead-end job for years because you believe “the good things that you get from this company you won’t find in any another”. Or you’ve stayed in a relationship that drains you because deep down you think, “I can make her/him change so we could have a better relationship”. Perhaps you’ve never pursued that business idea, never invested, written that book, or taken that trip because somewhere along the way you decided “people like me don’t do things like that.”
The damage isn’t just emotional. Studies have found that people with self-limiting beliefs are more likely to be unemployed or in lower-paying jobs compared to those without these beliefs. They lack the confidence to seek better opportunities, creating a cycle of underachievement that spans generations. So, beyond physical illnesses and legal wills, we leave an immense, often unconscious legacy to future generations that shapes their identity, values, and life trajectory. Read that again.
Your brain can change (and here’s exactly how)
Remember neuroplasticity? That fascinating discovery that your brain can rewire itself? Well, it means that you and I are not stuck with those old beliefs we have.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. This principle is known as Hebb’s rule, and it’s the foundation of how your brain changes. Every time you think a thought or practice a behaviour, you’re nothing but strengthening the neural pathways associated with it. The more you repeat it, the stronger it gets. The less you use a pathway, the weaker it becomes.
This is a door opening for those who truly want to change their lives and the way they think about themselves. It is going to feel uncomfortable, you are going to have moments where you may say I can’t, it’s too difficult. So I want you to pause right there for a sec and remind yourself, “This requires effort and consistent practice. As uncomfortable as it could get, I remind myself why I’m fully committed to do it”. Just like learning any skill, it takes time and baby steps progress.
Five steps to break free from limiting beliefs
Step 1: Get brutally honest about what you believe
You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Grab a journal and write down every limiting belief you catch yourself thinking. “I’m too old.” “I’m not creative.” “I always fail.” “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Get it all out. The awareness alone will shake you.
Step 2: Question everything
For each belief you wrote down, ask yourself: Is this 100% true? Where did I learn this? What evidence do I have that contradicts this? (Remember that not because you have evidence, you should label yourself as) What would I be like if my belief was completely the opposite?
Challenge your assumptions like your life depends on it, because honestly, it does. Research on cognitive behavioural therapy shows that revising beliefs is the key change mechanism in one of the most effective psychological treatments available.
Step 3: Create your new truth
You can’t just remove a belief, you need to replace it with something better. For every limiting belief, write a new empowering one that’s believable to you right now. Not some random affirmation you don’t buy, but something that feels like a truthful stretch.
Old belief: “I always fail at everything I try.”
New Belief: “I learn from every experience and improve over time.”
Step 4: build evidence for your new belief
Your brain needs proof. Start small and collect evidence that supports your new belief. Keep a “wins journal” where you document every tiny success, every moment that contradicts your old limiting belief. Your brain will start to notice patterns and rewire accordingly.
Step 5: Practice, practice, practice
Here’s the truth nobody wants to hear: This isn’t a one-and-done thing, a magic pill. Changing deeply held beliefs requires repetition. Every single day, you need to consciously choose and listen to the thoughts that align with your new beliefs, not the old ones (those will be wondering around). It might feel fake at first, that’s normal. With consistent practice, these new neural pathways will strengthen and eventually become your new default.
The power of self-compassion in this journey
This journey is not linear at all (I think no journeys are). You’re going to mess up. You’re going to catch yourself falling back into old thought patterns. You’ll have days where you believe all the limiting garbage again.
That’s not failure, that’s being human. We’re undergoing years, maybe decades, of conditioning here. Be patient with yourself. Self-compassion is to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a good friend who’s struggling. It’s recognizing that you’re worthy of growth and change, even when, especially when you stumble.
We all deal with limiting beliefs. Even that successful person you admire. Personally, it has required me to question everything I thought I knew about myself, to be willing to be wrong about the stories I’d been telling myself for decades, stepping into uncertainty and doing things that scare me. It's this or choose to be stuck. Stuck with a slow, soul-crushing kind of pain that builds over the years.
Your invitation to break free
So here’s my challenge to you, pick one limiting belief that’s been holding you back. Just one. Write it down. Question it. Replace it with something better. Start collecting evidence that contradicts it. Practice your new belief every single day for the next 30 days.
If you do this consistently, your brain will start to change. Your life will start to shift. Opportunities you couldn’t see before will suddenly appear. Not because the world changed, but because you did.
The life you want is on the other side of the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. The only question is: Are you willing to do what it takes to get there?
Your limiting beliefs don’t get to write the ending to your story. You do.
Read more from Maria Alejandra Toledo Valderrama
Maria Alejandra Toledo Valderrama, Holistic Wellness Coach
Ale is a Holistic Wellness Practitioner passionate about helping others discover their true potential and live life to the fullest. Through her comprehensive approach combining Breathwork, Mindfulness, and Nutritional guidance, she empowers driven individuals seeking balance, Health-Conscious professionals navigating stress, and Wellness enthusiasts ready for a deeper transformation. She has developed her own line of five organic Health-Snacks made exclusively with natural ingredients, providing Clean, Guilt-Free Nutrition.
