Being Human First in Mentorship – Remembering Who We Were Before the Titles
Written by Dr. Kaylarge Eloi, Educator & Author
Dr. Kaylarge Eloi is an accomplished educator and expert in the fields of leadership, healthcare administration, and forensic psychology. With a rich academic background that includes an Ed.D. with a focus on Organizational Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services, Dr. Eloi possesses a unique blend of theoretical knowledge and practical expertise.
In every profession, titles are markers of achievement. They signal expertise, authority, and the culmination of years of effort. But when it comes to mentorship, titles can sometimes create distance between people who are meant to connect. True mentorship thrives not on hierarchy, but on humanity. Before we were mentors, we were people, curious, uncertain, and eager to learn. We were shaped by experiences that humbled us and by others who believed in us long before we fully believed in ourselves. Remembering who we were before the titles allows us to approach mentorship not as an assignment, but as an act of genuine connection and shared growth.
The person before the position
When mentors see their role only through a professional lens, mentorship risks becoming transactional, a checklist of advice, career tips, or skill-building sessions, but effective mentorship begins with authenticity. It’s about the person, not the position. Being human first means asking questions that go beyond performance goals, How are you really doing? What motivates you? What’s been hard lately? It means creating space for vulnerability and self-discovery, both for the mentor and the mentee. When we strip away our titles, we remember that mentorship isn’t just about producing results. It’s about cultivating resilience, confidence, and purpose in another person. Those qualities grow best in relationships rooted in empathy and trust.
Being human first means valuing relationships over resumes and compassion over control. It means celebrating progress, not perfection, and recognizing that mentorship works both ways. A human-centered mentor learns as much from their mentee as the mentee learns from them. The exchange of perspectives, across generations, cultures, and experiences, expands empathy and deepens understanding. In this sense, mentorship becomes a mutual act of becoming, two people evolving together.
Leading through story and shared experience
Mentorship built on humanity involves storytelling. Sharing not just what we’ve accomplished, but how we got there, the doubts, detours, and lessons learned along the way, reminds mentees that success is not a straight path. When mentors reveal their own moments of uncertainty or failure, they normalize the growth process. They show that learning is continuous, that mistakes are part of mastery, and that leadership is less about perfection and more about perseverance. These shared stories transform mentorship from instruction into inspiration.
The reciprocal nature of growth
The most effective mentors know that mentorship is not one-directional. Every conversation, every exchange, offers a chance to learn. When mentors approach relationships with curiosity instead of authority, they remain open to new perspectives, especially from those whose experiences differ from their own.
Being human first reminds us that titles may define our roles, but they don’t define our capacity to grow. A mentor’s humility can become a model for lifelong learning, reinforcing that leadership is not about having all the answers, it’s about asking better questions.
Restoring heart to professional mentorship
In today’s fast-paced professional environments, where productivity and outcomes often dominate the conversation, mentorship serves as a vital reminder of the human side of success. A “human-first” mentor listens deeply, celebrates small wins, and understands that professional development is inseparable from personal well-being. When we mentor from the heart, we build more than skill sets. We build confidence, belonging, and purpose. We create cultures where people feel seen, valued, and empowered to become their best selves.
To be a great mentor is to remember what it felt like to be guided, uncertain, and hopeful. When we reconnect with who we were before the titles, we rediscover what mentorship was always meant to be, a partnership in becoming, not just better professionals, but better people.
Read more from Dr. Kaylarge Eloi
Dr. Kaylarge Eloi, Educator & Author
Dr. Eloi is not only an educator but also a prolific researcher and author. Her publications delve into critical topics surrounding cultural competence within healthcare and criminal justice settings. She has contributed to the understanding of how Pacific Islanders perceive the cultural competence of Western healthcare providers, as well as exploring the views of released offenders regarding hiring managers' cultural sensitivity. Her seminal work, "Creating an Organizational Culture that Supports Offender Rehabilitation Towards Maintaining Gainful Employment for Returning Citizens," highlights her commitment to fostering inclusive environments that promote rehabilitation and reintegration into society.
