Before You Speak – The Power Of Listening To Understand, Not To Respond
Updated: Sep 29, 2023
Written by: Richard Eckley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You and your partner, clients, customers, work colleagues and even your bosses all have had different upbringings and have been installed with different beliefs and behavioural patterns. Knowing this will help you understand them when they don’t react the same way as you do in certain situations. We are all totally different people with now over 8 Billion of us on this planet and no two people having the same experiences and beliefs.
We are very likely to act differently when a situation arises. learning to adapt to each other, often using compromise is the best tool. As we will often both think (our way) it’s the right way because it has been installed in our belief system most of our lives, and we have followed these same thought patterns all our life, confirming to us that they must be right.
However with taking a different viewpoint, being open to see things a different way, can have huge benefits to you and the people you surround yourself with…
Imagine two people stood on a path on opposite sides to a number written on it.
One says it’s obvious the number is… are you blind?
The other says that you must be stupid. Anyone can see that it’s a number…
The two could argue all day long, neither one backing down, as they can see that they are right and the other person is wrong.
The number is 6 to one person and 9 to the other, remembering this when you get into an argument with either your partner, a child, relation, friend or co-worker reminds us of the fact we both have our own opinion on a situation. And will guard that opinion, you can rarely change someone’s opinion, but you can show them a different viewpoint, which may enable them change their own opinion, if they are ready to.
We don’t always allow for the other person’s viewpoint or where they are coming from (so to speak). We tend to just jump to the defence straight away of our viewpoint, you can’t change another person’s opinion, but taking the time to listen to their side of the story first, may give you a new perspective yourself of the situation, and enable you to find some compromise and meet in the middle ground. Remembering there is our opinion, the other person’s opinion and somewhere in between the common ground we may be able to work together on.
This will help in many negotiations, asking the simple question “why do you think that?” in a friendly way and listen to their answer, will gain you many more win/win outcomes. Plus winning you more friends then enemy’s, as your not just shooting down their ideas but doing something called active listening.
For more information on learning how to create better Relationships in your life get your copy of (How to Develop Better Relationships) by reaching out here, subject line Brainz/Relationships.
Richard Eckley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Richard Eckley is the founder of The Eckley Global Community school, a movement teaching the 4 keys to success health, wealth, relationships and mindset. After his 20-year marriage ended in divorce, he was left a single dad with 3 teenage kids, he wanted to give them a guide to know everything would be ok. He has studied personal development for 30 years giving him an in-depth knowledge. He then wrote his first book ( Your 4 keys to a healthier happier you) a starting point to this process, this led on to deeper dive books in his ( coffee reads) series and the development of the Eckley Global Community School working with local schools and individual students in 5 countries. His ethos: create the life you want
