Are You Secretly Afraid of Success? – How This Hidden Habit Nearly Cost Me an Olympic Moment
- May 14, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: May 27, 2025
Written by Kerdu Lenear, Athlete Transition Coach
Kerdu Lenear is a former pro basketball player, Athlete Transition Coach, keynote speaker, and Certified Neuroencoding Specialist. Through her Mindset Fitness™ methodology, she helps elite athletes train the part of themselves no one ever coached, so they can step into their identity, confidence, and purpose, on and beyond the game.
High achievers, whether they’re professional athletes, ambitious entrepreneurs, or purpose-driven founders, are often admired for their focus, confidence, and resilience. But beneath the surface, even the most driven individuals can face an invisible fear that quietly holds them back.
It’s not always a fear of failure. Sometimes, it’s a fear of success. And both can drive a self-sabotaging habit known as self handicapping, a subconscious pattern I’ve seen again and again in my work, and explored deeply in my MBA thesis.
During that research, I interviewed pro athletes, founders, and business owners who had already accomplished a great deal. Yet nearly all of them described moments of hesitation, avoidance, or emotional withdrawal. These were behaviors they couldn’t fully explain until they became aware of the hidden fear behind them.
Fear hides behind high standards
Fear of failure is easy to name. We fear making mistakes, disappointing others, or discovering that our best might not be enough. But what’s less talked about, and just as limiting, is the internal fear of what success might demand: more pressure, more exposure, more expectations.
One entrepreneur I interviewed admitted that she had stalled on taking bigger contracts because she worried she wouldn’t be able to sustain the growth. That fear didn’t make her stop chasing success, but it led her to delay, play small, and unconsciously protect herself from the discomfort that might come with change.
This is how self handicapping works. We delay big moves. We lower the stakes so we won’t feel as exposed if things don’t go well. On the outside, it might look like perfectionism or strategic restraint. On the inside, it’s fear dressed up as control.
What is self-handicapping?
Psychologists Jones and Berglas (1978) defined self-handicapping as creating obstacles or withdrawing effort to protect one’s self-esteem. When we fear the outcome, we give ourselves an out.
In high achievers, it might show up like this: – A professional athlete over-trains to the point of injury to avoid feeling unprepared – A founder keeps tweaking their product but never launches – A business owner delays hiring support, afraid to let go of control
And because these behaviors are often justified by logic, they’re rarely questioned.
A real-life athlete example
In my thesis research, one professional athlete revealed how fear of failure deeply influenced her decisions during key moments in her career. She said:
“Fear for me revolves around the worry that others might form a negative opinion of me or that I may not be sufficient in the eyes of others. This fear is closely linked to the concern of not meeting the expectations or approval of others.”
This type of internal pressure led her to hesitate and sometimes avoid situations where she might fall short of those expectations. Rather than risk public failure, she would unconsciously pull back. It wasn’t a lack of ambition. It was a strategy of self-protection.
Another athlete described how fear held him back from even participating:
“There was a fear lingering in me… that fear ultimately led me to decide not to participate in the tournament.”
He had the skill and the opportunity, but the internal fear of underperforming outweighed the desire to compete. These aren't uncommon stories. In fact, they represent a recurring theme I found among high performers: a powerful inner drive, blocked by fear of being seen as not enough.
The ripple effect of hidden fear
The impact of self handicapping is subtle, but deep. It erodes momentum, dulls confidence, and blocks performance. Left unchecked, it creates an identity built around protection rather than possibility. What makes it dangerous is how invisible it can be, even to the person doing it.
One entrepreneur I worked with had been holding back from saying yes to bigger opportunities. On the surface, it looked like careful planning, but underneath, it was fear of failure in disguise. She was afraid that if she said yes and things didn’t work out, it would confirm her doubts about not being good enough. Once we uncovered that pattern together using the five step method I developed, everything shifted. She started taking bold, aligned action, and in the months that followed, her revenue grew by 30%. The strategy hadn’t changed. Her mindset had.
I almost let fear cost me my first olympic moment
I faced this fear myself when I was invited to commentate the women’s basketball final at the Paris Olympics. I was honored but also afraid.
“What if I say the wrong thing?” “What if I’m not ready?” “What if they regret choosing me?”
That voice almost won. But because of the awareness I’ve built and the work I now teach, I recognized the pattern for what it was. I made a different choice.
And that one decision? It didn’t earn me a real gold medal, but it felt like one. As a token of appreciation for my contribution, I was handed an Olympic medal after the final whistle. More importantly, I walked away knowing I didn’t let fear make the decision for me.
My mission
I believe the next breakthrough for high achievers won’t come from working harder. It will come from removing the hidden barriers that have been quietly holding them back.
That’s why I now work one-on-one with athletes, entrepreneurs, and founders to uncover the self-handicapping patterns that most don’t even realize are there. Through a structured 5-step process and the Mindset Fitness™ method, I help them retrain the part of themselves no one ever coached, so they can move forward with clarity, confidence, and direction.
I also speak on stages and in boardrooms, sharing what I’ve learned about the inner game of performance. In these keynote talks, I guide audiences to recognize how fear, whether of failure or success, can shape their choices and how to shift from protection into powerful, intentional action.
Because once you’re free from fear, success doesn’t have to feel like pressure. It becomes something you’re truly ready to own.
Read more from Kerdu Lenear
Kerdu Lenear, Athlete Transition Coach
Kerdu Lenear is a former pro basketball player turned Athlete Transition Coach, keynote speaker, and Certified Neuroencoding Specialist. As the founder of the Mindset Fitness™ methodology, she helps elite athletes train the part of themselves no one ever coached—their identity, confidence, and purpose. After navigating her own identity shift post-retirement, Kerdu is now building her Inner Game™ coaching experience and leading the emerging Athletepreneurs™ movement. Her mission: Empower pro athletes to thrive on and beyond the game.
