Written by: Dr. Denise L. Morrison, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you been so busy with your career, raising a family, settling into the day-to-day grind of adulthood, and taking care of others that you’ve lost touch with what YOU want?
When was the last time that you made your needs, self-care, or wellness a priority?
I do not ask these questions to judge, criticize or shame you in any way. These are the type of questions I ask my clients to help me, help them, and get super clear on what they want.
I intend to create an open, honest, and loving space for them to discover what is truly important in their lives. Thereafter, they can start to sense what is getting in their way of having what they want.
Most of the time, clients come to me knowing exactly what they DON’T want which is a great start. However, they struggle in coming up with identifying what they DO want.
Now, there are many, many reasons why someone has difficulty in clearly articulating what they do want. I know how to uncover and clear out those difficulties, as their thinking partner and transformational guide.
Putting yourself as a priority again, or for the first time.
Let’s say you wanted to get a sense of what it feels like to be on a call with someone like me and you were a bit scared to make an appointment. You wouldn’t be alone in having that fear.
I will share with you what I am doing, intuitively, while I listen, look, and get a sense of what you’ve been experiencing. The best way for me to get to know you better is to ask questions.
I have a belief that you are the expert of you. You’ve been in your mind and body all your life. You know all your experiences, struggles, stories, and secrets. I never assume to know you better than you know yourself. If you’ve had trauma, abuse, and dysfunction in your (past as I did), these are scary questions. Some of us grew up with a fear of being asked questions. Many of my clients tell me it’s because they were trained, that if someone asked you a question, you must have done something wrong.
I avoided getting into situations where people asked me personal questions because I was triggered back to feeling guilty and ashamed. So, I learned early on to tuck away all the bad experiences and memories away. My strategies to cope were to use food, exercise, studying, and traveling to numb out all those horrible feelings.
I get it if you are afraid to open up and I never force it.
However, if you’ve reached a point in your life where “something just isn’t right” or you feel “out of sync” with yourself, you have found the right person to help you xo.
I was pleasantly surprised, when I went to my first NLP Coach, to hear her non-judgmental, loving tone. All her questions were filled with genuine curiosity. She wanted to get to know me, from my perspective, not from what “they” say or what my “parents did to me.
She wanted to understand my “experience” of fully and completely being Denise.
It was that coach back in Australia that inspired me to take the journey to become a Transformational Health & Life Coach too.
When you see my invitation to have a “chat”, imagine that it’s pretty similar to having a casual conversation over coffee (or tea). I intend to help you feel comfortable and at ease to allow us to lovingly dive into what you want and help clear out what you don’t want. My intention is never to force, sell or give unsolicited advice.
While we are chatting, I’m using my NLP/Transformational skills to capture the full essence of what you are going through. In our lingo, we call that your “experience.”
My skills include my years of experience in the medical field, so I am listening, evaluating, and assessing what is going on in your mind and body.
I’m listening to your words, phrases, and patterns as well as watching how you move your eyes, head, and body. The tone of your voice, the posture that you hold, and your breathing are powerful indicators of what’s going on inside of your precious body.
By the words that you use, I can gauge where you are now, what you’d rather be experiencing in your life and what “stuff” is still blocking you from being in sync with yourself.
For example, here are some of the things my clients have said to me when I asked them about their current situation.
Their words are great indicators of whether they are out of sync.
“I don’t know”
“It’s too hard”
“There’s no time.
“I feel guilty for taking time for myself.”
“I feel bad, sad, angry, anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed.”
“Scared to miss out on life.”
“Oh, I can’t be alone with my thoughts.”
“I overthink everything.”
“Those last 10lbs just won’t come off!”
“No one listens to me.”
“My cravings are out of control.”
“I am so tired all the time.”
“Swimsuit season scares me!”
And that’s just a sample of what I’ve heard over the past 30 years!
The reason I’m sharing those comments and concerns is to let you know that you are not alone and there is a solution to each one.
Get out of your head and into your body
This is my other favorite phrase to use because it’s so darn important for us independent, hard-working career women who are juggling homes, families, and elderly parents:
quiet the thinking and ease back into your being.
I get it, we are seekers of information, wanting to know more and more but it becomes a dangerous habit to stay inside your mind.
How can I tell? My clients do not have a self-care practice.
Why is this important? Most of my clients come to me after they’ve hit 40 and are starting to feel “changes” that they do not like.
They are noticing extra weight gain, unusual cravings, gut issues, more frequent colds, neuromuscular changes associated with aging, and an overall lack of energy and motivation.
It’s at this point those tears start flowing, emotions bubble out that have been tucked away for far too long and the breakdown begins.
The breakdown is an excellent sign!
So, if you’re done with living the life you’ve been experiencing for too long, it’s time to put yourself as a priority.
Allow me to help you to get in sync with what you want and need.
I’ve created two quizzes to help you gauge where you may be on the slippery slope to a breakdown.
Once you take the quiz of your choice, you will be given curated information to suit your needs where you are, and how to help you create a self-care routine and new mindset to start to change the course of your life.
Pat yourself on the back for taking the time to put yourself and your needs back on your list of priorities.
With love and respect,
Dr. Denise L. Morrison, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Denise Morrison is the CEO of Intuitively Unique Coaching, her Holistic Brand of Health/Life Coaching.
She struggled for decades to overcome traumatic experiences from my own past. She compensated for lack of confidence with degrees and professional success. She numbed her pain with addictive eating and self-abusive behaviors. And when she finally turned to the right teachers and coaches, she learned that change does not need to take decades. Change can actually be instantaneous. And change can be lasting. After working for many years in healthcare, Denise felt a pull and a passion for working with people on a deeper and more transformational level.
Her academic mind was drawn to the evidence-based practices of nutrition and exercise, but she was also compelled by the more mystical therapies emerging from neuroscience and quantum healing.
Denise sought out the best training in health and wellness, life coaching, and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to have access to the most powerful tools to help others change their lives for the better.