Am I Good Enough If I Don’t Want More?
Written by: Martina Krulakova, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Plug in and follow steps
Have you ever experienced the same? The opportunity which you were waiting for has come to you and you got confused.
I had a similar experience when I had the opportunity to sign up for the 7-figure business model. The system was proven, all blueprint in place, track record check and I knew, that if I wanted, I could pull it off if…
All I had to do was to plug in and follow the step-by-step process – something I was looking for a long time. How amazing would it be to work with someone who had done it before and who you admire, how easy it would be for me to have that support, guidance and proven steps?
The advice I am giving my clients too: Follow and learn from someone who has done it before you. Aren’t we hearing all the time in the world of personal growth or any kind of business?
I have come so far already, it all seemed just like the next logical step for me – to plug in and follow steps.
What then?
I said NO! I couldn’t. Something inside of me was screaming out that’s not for me. I left the call completely confused. I felt like a hypocrite. Like a total loser. How am I going to help others if I can’t accept help from others?
I took some time off to reflect on what was really going on.
Was it the fear stopping me from the unknown? Is it own limitation and all I had to do was push myself and cross to the other side and push even more?
But deep down another question kept popping out in my head? What then? What will change for me then if I have more clients or higher prices?
Yes, I could obviously see new options or traveling the world, getting nicer things, eating in better restaurants, better life of living form myself and my family too.
Getting lost along the journey
But… I didn’t like who I was becoming. The person, who spent all months working and missing on life. Missing on building relationships with people I care about the most.
I found myself in another trap.
Would more work or reaching higher-paid clients be a solution for me? That was the question I was fighting with for some time already.
At that point I realized that I don’t have the desire to become an elite coach, I don’t have a desire to build a million-dollar company and I don’t have the desire to become the best in my field as long as I am best for myself.
Just another trap?
At that point, I realized that I changed one trap for another one – going from the corporate career climbing ladder to the business trap when pushing constantly for perfection and more is a never-ending story.
When it’s going to be enough? When I will be enough?
Although I was teaching my clients to love themselves for who they are – now, I was fighting my own battle too. All those years I was chasing and reaching one goal after another and hoping that at some point I will get there.
After long 5 year of period of hard work and pretending to be a superwoman, wanting to do it all by myself, refusing to ask or accept the help because I saw it as a sign of weakness, I hit my rock bottom. I wanted to quit.
I found myself asking serious questions. I couldn’t ignore all the warning signs that were coming to me more often for the last few days and weeks, months.
There is always another way
I thought I had to choose. Either I will work my ass off and get what I want at the high costs I wasn’t willing to pay any longer or I will quit on my dream and get satisfied with playing small.
But then, just a little light came to me.
Why do I keep thinking that the only way is to work my ass off? I suddenly could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
That’s right. There is always another way. All that hard work was just my limiting belief because I didn’t know anything else. Whatever you resist, you persist. It was time to change my fuel from working hard to working smart.
Never-ending control
That hard work was a camouflage for me to have control. Control over my work, get control over my finances, control over people I want to work with, just because I didn’t feel good enough. Hoping, that with more power, more finances, more status… I will finally be somebody.
No wonder I was afraid to let it all go. I felt like letting it go all that control of working, having more – that I will be nobody.
But honestly? I was so tired at that point that I couldn’t care less. I didn’t care about any status, money, or work, all I cared was to be loved for who I am and now. Simply be me.
The power of letting go
So I let it all go.
And then I felt it…. The relief, the baggage I was holding on to for such a long time.
I am enough and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
I could also feel the relief and love for myself, for the permission to be just me and working on my own terms. For being ok with not reaching the top and still be somebody. Someone whose work is valuable by reaching many people already.
In case, you too, are comparing yourself with others, if you are beating yourself up for not being there yet, just to let you know that you are enough for not being there yet. It’s ok to be just you and have smaller dreams too if that’s all that you want.
Because when you are true to yourself, that’s the best way to serve others too.
The biggest growth starts with you and within
Sadly, I am meeting many other driven individuals who are falling for a similar trap and who get lost along that journey of working hard and constantly pushing for something else and better while neglecting their health or relationships.
It’s a trap we are voluntarily choosing to live in.
Don’t take me wrong. Growth is our spiritual need. Either we grow by design or life will pushes us to do so. Nothing is constant. But question yourself once in a while whether it’s growth on your own terms or whether you are following the crowd and chasing something that is already within you.
Growth comes in many forms. The biggest one comes from being still and listening to yourself. That’s the growth which society doesn’t recognize or is not visible in the outside world, at least.
That’s the inner growth which I also call soul calling. It’s the place where the whole magic happens and which needs to be mastered first before you take any action.
Life works in mysterious ways and it always gives you more and when you are ready for it.
Martina Krulakova, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Martina K is a Clarity Alignment Coach helping you become an inspiring leader and master of life you love. Her constant search for happiness and money left her broke, miserable and lonely in a foreign country. That was when she realized that real transformation starts within, so she mastered the formula to fulfillment. Her search has turned into a mission. Today she is helping other women find their unique path and fulfilling careers they love and get handsomely paid for it by working with individuals, small groups, and running powerful workshops. She teaches the importance of self-awareness, mastering yourself and your inner world as the core solution to most problems. Because it all starts with YOU!
