Active Surrender & The 2 Blocks in Your Way
Updated: Dec 8, 2025
Written by Rasha AlShaar, Mind-Body Coach, PCC
Rasha AlShaar, PCC, is a Mind-Body Coach with an integrative approach to healing and self-development. By merging modalities that range from mindset and somatic tools, she's on a mission to facilitate full-body healing and head-to-toe awakenings to help people embody their authentic truth and innate power.
Surrender. A word that haunted me for a while. I misunderstood it and honestly judged it for the longest time because I forgot how it felt to truly embody it.
Look, for context, I’m a natural do-er. I thrive on planning, creating lists, and maximizing my time. But the past two years have taught me that true power lies not in being trapped in the extremes of doing everything I can or doing nothing at all, but rather in the sweet spot in between, where I can be and do in what can be called active surrender.
The true meaning of surrender
In my world, surrender is the ultimate act of agency and trust, doing everything in my power, and giving in to the power beyond my control to God, Source, Spirit, Divine, or whatever else resonates.
Maybe, like me not too long ago, a part of you judges surrender because you too have forgotten that living in the sweet spot is a balance between holding the responsibility to take action in one hand, and knowing that your personal power has a boundary in the other hand. I like to think of active surrender as a dance, a constant two-step if you will, a little bit of doing, and little bit of being.
The surrendered experience
Embodying this version of surrender creates an amazing sense of liberation. It feels like a responsible free fall. Like the exhilarating rush of the drop while knowing you’re securely harnessed. That’s the dance, the paradox of doing absolutely everything you can, and deliberately letting go.
Actually, forget bungee jumping, let’s consider the less extravagant (and more relatable) analogy of driving a car. We do our part by fastening our seatbelts, following the speed limit, and putting our phones away. We do all we can to control our immediate safety, and then, well, we drive.
This is the sweet spot of surrender. It’s born from power, intentionality, and fundamental trust in oneself as well as something bigger. It involves being an active participant while letting go of control.
The problems: 2 patterns blocking active surrender
This blend of action and trust sounds simple, but it’s much harder to embody because we usually default to one of two patterns that end up blocking us:
1. Doing too much: The gripper
This pattern is marked by the individual who grips too tightly, does too much, and burns out. They attempt to control every variable, use sheer willpower as force, and see any setback as proof they didn't push hard enough. This relentless pursuit of individual control is their primary obstacle to peace. It’s buckling their seatbelt, buying all the gadgets, driving so slow it’s a hazard, and still not achieving the desired goal of safety.
2. Doing nothing: The give-upper
This pattern is often mistaken for true surrender when it’s truly giving up rather than giving it up. They are driven by fear and helplessness, lack personal power, and still carry a quiet yet desperate desire to control the outcome passively. Their submission to the circumstance implies defeat or inferiority. It's refusing to buckle the seatbelt and blindly trusting that they will arrive safely.
The solutions: 2 practices for the 2 patterns
If you notice yourself leaning toward one of these two extremes, here are a few practical examples you can try (or adapt) to guide yourself toward a more balanced expression of surrender:
1. Doing too much: The gripper
The 5% release: Identify the 5% of the project or outcome that is physically impossible for you to control (e.g., timing, another person's decision, market forces). Verbally state or write down that you are releasing that 5% to the Divine/Source/Flow. Focus only on the remaining 95% that is within your power.
Schedule "empty time": Block 30 minutes in your calendar with the label "Non-Productive Existence." Use this time to sit, stare, walk aimlessly, or simply exist without a goal. This trains your system that rest does not equal failure.
2. Doing nothing: The give-upper
The control commitment: When facing a goal or desire, write a list of the things that are actually in your control about it and select one thing at a time to tackle. By recognizing your part in it and focusing only on the immediate action, you build momentum without feeling overwhelmed by the final result.
Affirm your agency: Before starting any task, literally affirm to yourself, "I have the power to influence this." This reminds you of your personal agency and consciously anchors action as a part of your day, and ultimately, your desires.
If you’re gripping too tightly or giving in too much, book a free consult call to explore how I can support you in finding your sweet spot of surrender through mindset and somatic work.
Read more from Rasha AlShaar
Rasha AlShaar, Mind-Body Coach, PCC
With over a decade of experience in healing practices and self-growth tools, Rasha AlShaar founded her coaching practice in 2020, shaping her integrative approach through ongoing personal growth and rigorous training, blending subconscious, emotional, somatic, behavioral, and energetic modalities to best serve her clients.
Rooted in her curiosity, driven by her commitment to service, and grounded in her PCC accreditation from the International Coaching Federation with 700+ hours of 1:1 coaching experience, Rasha is on a mission to help others on their transformative journeys as a Mind-Body Coach, guiding them to reconnect with their inherent wisdom and worth through insightful dialogue, embodied experience, and tangible action steps.
