A Journey Through the Hypothetical & The Literal Power of the Ripple Effect
For nearly 14 years, I've helped individuals navigate the complex landscape of addiction in order to achieve recovery. Nicknamed "The Casual Counselor", my approach is unconventional but undeniably effective.
“Imagine, if you will, for a moment,” my professor said, “that at the very same moment, at the exact same time, the entire world’s population, all 8 billion people, stopped what they were doing and committed an act of kindness or service for someone else. They fed a hungry person, clothed a cold stranger, provided shelter for a refugee, or something to that effect. It would be the most amazing thing that has ever happened in the history of our species. Also, it’ll never happen.”
The point he was trying to drive home was two-fold. Just because no one else is doing it, committing that act of kindness, it should never deter us from doing it where we can and when we can. The second part of the point was an exploration of “The Ripple Effect.”
Picture this, a complete hypothetical. You’re walking down the street one day, and you pass by a stranger. Unbeknownst to you, this stranger is having the worst day they’ve ever experienced in their life. They’re contemplating suicide. They’re feeling like the world would probably be better off without them. It’s actually, sadly, not that uncommon. Many people out there walking around are feeling some modicum of hopelessness and helplessness. Loneliness.
But you make the effort to bestow upon this stranger just a friendly compliment. Something about their stylish shoes, or the way they have their hair styled. You tell them they have a kick-ass sense of fashion. Beautiful eyes. Not in a flirty or creepy way, just in a friendly way.
Another hypothetical. Is it possible, just possible, that your compliment to them might ignite in them just a tiny spark of hope? That maybe life isn’t as bad as they thought just 30 seconds prior? Maybe it’s worth just hanging on for one more day.
The Ripple Effect. The whole concept is this, and it’s very real. Nothing hypothetical about it. What we put out into the world, it ripples. If we lead with love, kindness, compliments, and decency, the recipient of our “goodness” is going to take it with them into their day. Into their workplace, into their homes, into their hearts. Further, they’re likely to pass it along. And should they do just that, the next recipient is likely to pass it along as well. The proverbial passing of the torch.
Conversely, let’s say you encounter a stranger on the street, and unbeknownst to you, this stranger is having the worst day they’ve ever experienced in this life. Same scenario as the aforementioned. But instead of saying “pardon me,” or “no problem,” you come at them with aggression. Unkind words. Name-calling. You curse them out, tell them to “watch where they’re fucking going.”
Same thing. They are going to take that with them into their day, into their hearts, their workplace, their homes. Is there a chance that your indecency and cruelty might serve as the tipping point for that individual to throw up their hands and say, “To hell with it,” and then make a fatal decision they can never unmake? It’s possible. And though you might not be the one who “pulled the trigger,” as each individual is responsible for the choices they make in this life, is it possible that you influenced it in some way?
I say, “yes.”
I try to make an effort, when I can and where I can, to put as much love and kindness out into the universe as I can possibly muster. I validate. I compliment. I let people know that they’re doing an awesome job, even when they’re not. I reflect back that ol’ Golden Rule, to treat others in the way that I would like to be treated by them. And I’m not looking for flowers or accolades for these efforts. Though it might give me an ego boost to feed a hungry person, so what? They still got a full stomach, and it makes me feel nice knowing that I was able to be of service.
I always harken back to the wisdom I’ve discovered in the music I love. Those four mop-top lads from Liverpool, and how they remind us all:
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
In recovery, in life, you’ll get out of this experience whatever you put into it. Treat it as something precious and worthy of your love, and it will be. Treat it as a hex of some sort, something unworthy of your love, and it will be. The choice is yours. Beyond the hypothetical and into the actual, we find that both paths can converge. In harmony and alignment, with a spark of hope and goodwill. It’s up to us to stoke the embers.
Read more from Joshua Bennett-Johnson
Joshua Bennett-Johnson, Licensed Counselor & Owner of JBJ Counseling
After working for 7 years in an amazing clinic, I launched into private practice in 2018. I love my job. I can say that without reservation. Watching people rebuild their lives is something that is worth more than any dollar amount.
