A Different Way to Begin the New Year – Practising Acceptance
- Brainz Magazine
- Jan 12
- 5 min read
In this series, Elizabeth Ballin, PCC, offers reflections from her coaching and mindfulness practice on how people discover insight, meaning, and resilience in the changing landscape of modern life. Her perspective is rooted in years of working with people from many cultures and in a driven curiosity that understands human growth as life in motion.
As the year begins, many of us feel a strong desire to make a change, whether to improve our personal or professional lives or to fix what feels broken. We are eager to set new goals without taking a deeper dive into what has worked in the past, what has not, and what is achievable. This pressure to do or be better can consume us, especially when we want to make significant changes in our beliefs, relationships, growth, and success.
Why acceptance is important
Rather than focusing only on setting new goals, which remains important, I am choosing acceptance as my theme for this year. The word acceptance is often used casually, but for many, being told to “just accept” a situation can feel unhelpful and even isolating. Yet, in my coaching practice, acceptance holds deeper significance. If we first learn how to accept what is difficult and what we have, we gain clarity about what is truly present and possible, which brings us closer to what we genuinely seek.
So how do you learn to accept? How do we start? From my perspective as a coach, it starts by becoming aware of what we are dealing with emotionally and physically, and by taking time to notice our resistance, our emotional fatigue, and the subtle ways we avoid certain thoughts, feelings, or situations. Awareness is being conscious of these signals. Awareness can show up in many ways. It can appear as a sense of unease or urgency, for example, toward the end of the year, when we feel pressured to push forward. It can also highlight what is going well, which can go unnoticed as well.
As awareness builds and we gain more clarity, the next step is acknowledgement. This is the moment we stop turning away and name what we see, be it disappointment, frustration, relief, loss, or strengths we have overlooked. Acknowledgement is like noticing clouds in the sky. We observe them, know that they are clouds, but we do not necessarily immediately assign meaning to their presence. This stage is about just noticing before jumping to interpretation or action.
Naming loss can be challenging. Loss need not be dramatic to matter. Losing a job, going through a divorce, or letting go of a role or future can make us lose our way. Acknowledging loss means admitting that something important to us mattered, and that its absence has a profound effect on us. Many try to move past loss quickly, but unacknowledged loss lingers and subtly shapes our choices.
Once we acknowledge what is present, authenticity becomes essential, often requiring bravery. Authenticity is being honest about our feelings and wants, even when they conflict with past plans or expectations. This may mean facing the fact that something we worked toward no longer fits, or that what we hoped for is no longer available. This honesty is inward and takes courage and strength.
I see this often in my coaching work, not only around loss, but also around accepting positive truths. I once worked with a client who was successful and widely admired. She was respected professionally and cared for deeply by her friends, yet she lived with a strong belief that she was not good enough. She dismissed compliments, and they made her nervous. She questioned positive feedback. She thought she would never measure up to what people thought of her, so it was easier for her to put those compliments aside. Over time, this belief began to isolate her from the very people who supported her.
As our conversations unfolded, I encouraged her to examine the compliments she quickly dismissed. Who gave them, and what relationship did they have to her? I asked her to be specific about when these compliments appeared and what actions prompted them. Gradually, she realised she could see herself through others’ eyes and began to acknowledge their compliments as genuine, even if accepting them fully would take time.
Over time, she began to recognise that the harshest voice she trusted was her own. She also saw that by rejecting those who appreciated her and cared about her, she was distancing herself from relationships that mattered deeply to her. She was not able to fully embrace acceptance at first, but over time, she developed a more positive outlook on herself.
With many of my clients, once they can clearly acknowledge their struggles, they become ready to accept them. Typically, acceptance is felt when internal debates subside, opening space for clear thinking, honesty, and authenticity. Acceptance is not about agreement or resignation, or embracing every event as part of our identity. Rather, it involves recognising reality and choosing how to relate to it. As acceptance takes hold, perspectives shift. We start to gain a deeper understanding of what needs to change or what we need to let go of. At this point, instead of urgently seeking solutions, we feel emotionally safe to be more curious about our feelings, needs, and future goals. This openness allows us to be creative in determining how we wish to proceed. Acceptance, however, can unfold gradually, and it is during these moments that reflection becomes possible before taking any action.
It is also important to recognise that for those who have faced significant loss or trauma, acceptance may take more time and external support. In these situations, drawing on support networks, whether friends, family, spiritual advisors, or psychologists, can make the difference between feeling isolated and gradually learning to live with change.
Taking action, whatever that may be, follows acceptance. The actions and decisions you take become more intentional, more authentic, and more aligned with your values. They are guided by clarity, honesty, and courage rather than by fear and pressure.
In summary, acceptance is not a single goal reserved for the start of a new year. It is a process that unfolds throughout the year, as life continues to shift and new realities emerge. For me, beginning the year this way feels more grounded, knowing that simply starting with awareness can already make a meaningful difference.
Read more from Elizabeth Ballin
Elizabeth Ballin, Professional Certified Coach
Elizabeth Ballin, PCC, is an ICF-accredited professional coach and mindfulness practitioner working globally with people and professionals from many backgrounds. She combines emotional insight, cultural intelligence, and practical structure to support meaningful growth. She brings a lifelong multicultural awareness, deepened by twelve years of coaching across more than twenty cultures, which helps her attune to the emotional and practical realities her clients face. Her writing spans themes such as curiosity, creativity, well-being, communication, judgment, and the inner shifts that support meaningful growth in the complexity of modern life.
