A Case Against Legalism – Why Rigid Religious Rules Sabotage Mental Health and Destroy Faith
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 17
- 14 min read
Updated: Sep 19
Bethany Donovan is an experienced psychotherapist, licensed in both Virginia and Washington state, specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders, trauma, and complex PTSD, as well as working with military members, veterans, and their families.
Recently, I had a dream that stirred me. When I woke up, I panicked, and immediately my mind started spinning in an old, familiar, maddening thought pattern. “Oh no, what did I do wrong? Have I offended God? Am I in trouble? What did that mean?” I stopped the spiral by reminding myself of what I know to be true about God based on Scripture.
Like many others, I have wrestled with the affliction of perfectionism, fear of making mistakes, and fear of punishment, which are all rooted in the primary fears of being rejected, abandoned, and fundamentally unlovable.
As a psychotherapist with ten years of practice under my belt, I know I am far from alone in this experience.
When we endure early experiences of being punished severely for mistakes, being chronically criticized, and having love withdrawn from us when we are in some way displeasing to those around us (most often parents and peers), we tend to become people pleasers, walking on eggshells, ignoring red flags, surviving on bread crumbs of love, and taking the blame just to keep the peace and avoid abandonment. Aiming to please, we abandon ourselves to become social chameleons, blending in at the expense of authenticity, reinforcing the belief that who we are is fundamentally not good enough and that love is earned rather than a human birthright.
Without fail, that wounded perception bleeds all over our perception of God and our relationship with Him. Unfortunately, this keeps us in fear, torment, and constantly on edge. So much religious trauma happens this way, wounded parents wield scripture like a sword, using it to punish, shame, and coerce children into compliance. They abuse and harm while holding up the scriptures that tell us God is love. It confuses people, especially children whose minds are so vulnerable, and it leads them to want nothing to do with God. Oh, how many times have I heard this heartbreaking story, and wished it weren’t so? Too many to count.
When I woke up and got my wits about me, I grabbed my phone and checked the verse of the day on my Bible app. It said:
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8 BSB)
This is what God is actually like. Always listening, receptive, and generous, which is wholly unlike the distant taskmaster my mind conjures up in fearful moments, causing me to imagine that He is watching my every move under a microscope just so He can catch me falling short. Rather, He is a Father who welcomes His children into light and freedom and loves us with a love so vast that it’s hard for the human mind to grasp.
“Then you, being rooted and grounded in love, will have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19 BSB)
This is the love we were made to live in, but too often legalism and condemnation keep believers trapped in fear. And for those who struggle with perfectionism or religious scrupulosity (an OCD subtype marked by obsessive fear of sin, excessive or misplaced guilt, and compulsive religious rituals), it’s a surefire trigger into hours or days of terror-laden rumination and spinning within oneself, questioning every thought, action, and choice.
This can leave behind a feeling of desperation and hopelessness, like we’ll never be “good enough” for God. It’s an echo of the past and a primary tool of God’s enemy, who is often called Satan or Lucifer (referred to as “the enemy” from this point on), to keep us trapped in fear and condemnation and from living in the fullness of joy that the Lord has for us.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. (John 10:10 BSB)
The enemy’s work is destruction. God’s work is restoration. To see the difference clearly, let us walk through Scripture and examine what the word of God tells us about salvation, works, and freedom in Christ.
Love is the fulfillment of the law
The Pharisees were experts in legalism. They added rules to the law, heaped heavy burdens on the people, and taught that holiness came through flawless adherence. But when asked the greatest commandment, Jesus cut straight through their traps:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested Him with a question. “Teacher, which commandment is the greatest in the Law?” Jesus declared, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:
‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40 BSB)
God’s covenant has never been about rigid rule-keeping or perfect behavior. He knows that we are not even capable of such things.
For He knows our frame; He is mindful that we are dust. (Psalm 103:14 BSB)
From Abraham onward, it was always about faith and love. The Pharisees strained out gnats while swallowing camels (Matthew 23:24), but they missed the heart of God: love for Him, and love for others.
“Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and His disciples. “The scribes and Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So practice and observe everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You pay tithes of mint, dill, and cumin. But you have disregarded the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” (Matthew 23:1-4; 23 BSB)
While the Pharisees sought power and acted out of pride, Jesus revealed holiness through humility.
Jesus, the servant king
Jesus modeled holiness in humility. At the Last Supper, He washed His disciples’ feet and said to them:
“I have set you an example so that you should do as I have done for you. Truly, truly, I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.” (John 13:15-16, BSB)
True holiness is not found in rituals, but in covenant love expressed through humble service. The law was only a guardian to show us how desperately we need a Savior. As Paul wrote in his letter to the Galatians:
“Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. So the law became our guardian to lead us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.” (Galatians 3:23–25 BSB)
Humility, repentance, and God’s promise
God’s requirements have always been about covenant faithfulness and love:
“And if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14 BSB)
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that this scripture verse is found not in the New Testament, but in the Old Testament, after Mosaic law had already been established for over 400 years!
Notice what God beseeches His people for in this verse, humility, prayer, seeking Him, and repentance.
God does not say, “And if my people who are called by my name keep themselves ritually clean at all times, follow every letter of the Law perfectly, never fall short, never make mistakes, and do everything right, then I will forgive their sin and heal their land.” No! He asks His people to (a) humble themselves, (b) pray and seek Him, and (c) repent!
Jesus echoed this every time he healed. “Go and sin no more.” Repentance means turning away from a life of sin and separation from God and turning back toward Him as our Shepherd and Father.
Faith credited as righteousness
This has been God’s way from the beginning:
And the Lord took [Abram] outside and said, “Now look to the heavens and count the stars, if you are able.” Then He told him, “So shall your offspring be.” Abram believed the Lord, and it was credited to him as righteousness. (Genesis 15:5-6 BSB)
This same truth carries into the New Testament, where Paul explains in his epistle to the church in Ephesus that salvation has always been a gift of grace:
“For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life.” (Ephesians 2:8-10 BSB)
Here is the truth: good works are not ladders to climb toward salvation. Rather, they are the natural outflow of our new identity in Christ. We are God’s masterpieces, creatures whose essential nature is to do good. When we are born again and washed clean, we are restored to that original design. Works are not meant to come from endless striving and straining, but from simply being who God intended us to be from the start.
Abiding in Christ: Our source of life and spiritual fruit
Yet another verse which I see legalism take hold of and terrify believers with is this:
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (John 14:15 BSB)
Jesus makes the meaning of this very plain, and His commandments are a far cry from perfectly adhering to a long list of behaviors.
“As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Remain in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love. I have told you these things so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:9-12 BSB)
Notice the emphasis: joy, love, and fruitfulness. Not fear or heavy burdens, but joy!
“You did not choose Me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give you. This is My command to you: Love one another.” (John 15:16-17, BSB)
In other words, Christ’s love is the root, and the fruit of the Spirit is the result. When we love God and abide in His love, it naturally overflows from us to others and into the world around us. This overflow generates good works by default. This is a relaxed, pleasant, and fulfilling way of life, which stands in stark contrast to the life wherein religious works are made the means to the end (i.e., self-attained salvation), which is marked by discontent, anxiety, and exhaustion.
Shame paralyzes: Why legalism keeps us stuck
Legalism doesn’t make us holy or righteous. Rather, it makes us shrink back into paralysis. Likewise, fear-driven shame doesn’t form us into the image of Christ. It shuts us down, instead. Let’s discuss the psychology of shame for a moment.
Shame is a paralyzing emotion
Across studies, shame is consistently linked to avoidance and withdrawal, undercutting motivation and self-regulation. [4] In other words, when shame is running the show, we’re more likely to hide than to heal, to shut down rather than show up.
Toxic shame silences the self
Clinical and review work describe toxic shame as a self-condemning state that correlates with helplessness, depressed mood, and worthlessness, conditions that stall growth rather than spark it. [2] People go to great lengths to conceal shame and avoid situations that might expose it, which keeps them stuck. [5] As Psychology Today aptly summarized, “shame, when toxic, is a paralyzing global assessment of oneself as a person”. [3]
It undermines change
Because shame targets the whole self (“I am bad,” not “I did something wrong”), it tends to suppress approach behaviors and stall meaningful change. Guilt, by contrast, is more likely to motivate repair because it focuses on specific behaviors. [1] This is why shame often produces paralysis, not progress.
Psychology confirms what Scripture has long shown us, there’s a vast difference between conviction and condemnation. Conviction evokes healthy guilt, which stirs a change of heart and prompts us into action, leading to spiritual maturity over time. Condemnation, on the other hand, generates shame, which impedes growth. Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit, condemnation does not.
As a therapist, I’ve watched this pattern play out again and again, toxic shame paralyzes! Many think if they shame themselves long enough and sternly enough, that it will somehow, someday, form them into an idealized image of themselves which they have created in their mind, a version that never makes mistakes, never rocks the boat or upsets anyone, and never suffers loss, rejection, or hardship.
Attempting to use toxic shame or condemnation as a motivator only drives people into hiding, people pleasing, compulsive striving, and eventually exhaustion and despair. These are the fingerprints of the enemy, not the fruit of the Spirit.
Faith and works rightly understood
Legalists often twist James 2:26 (“faith without works is dead”) into a club, as if works were required for salvation. But the Lord’s requirements are clear, be born anew, believe in Him, have faith in who He says He is, love God and one another, and repent. Repentance is a heart posture, not a call to instant perfection. We are being perfected by the process of sanctification by the Holy Spirit through the Word of God.
“Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth.” (John 17:17 BSB)
Our works do not reconcile us to God, Christ alone does. That said, true faith by its very nature cannot remain idle. Works are evidence of life and proof of a Spirit-filled faith. They justify our faith before others, not our salvation before God!
When the Spirit gives life, our faith is alive and so are our works.
It is crucial to note that in the Bible, verbs related to the sanctification process use the present tense to indicate an ongoing, continuous action. Sanctification is not a one-time event but a progressive work of the Spirit.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2 BSB)
This verse also carries that ongoing sense in the Greek. The phrase “be transformed” (μεταμορφοῦσθε, metamorphousthe) is in the present passive imperative tense, which means “keep on being transformed.” Even Paul, one of the greatest Apostles to ever live, knew that he was not yet perfect or fully mature (Philippians 3:12-14).
In this context, let us consider yet another verse often wielded as a weapon by legalists, striking fear in the hearts of believers, wherein Jesus exhorts His followers:
“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48 BSB)
It is crucial that we understand the original Greek to make sense of this verse and remove the gripping fear from it. It is as follows:
Ἔσεσθε οὖν τέλειοι, ὡς ὁ Πατὴρ ὑμῶν ὁ οὐράνιος τέλειός ἐστιν. (Ese-sthe oun teleioi, hōs ho Patēr hymōn ho ouranios teleios estin.)
Breaking down key words into their meanings within this sentence, we see:
ἔσεσθε (ese-sthe) = “you shall be” or “you will be” (future indicative, 2nd person plural).
τέλειοι (teleioi) = “perfect,” “complete,” or “mature.”
Root: τέλειος (teleios) = “brought to its end, finished, mature, whole, complete in all its parts.”
So, Jesus’ command, “Be perfect,” isn’t about flawless performance. Rather, it is about surrendering to the process of being made whole, mature, and complete in love and progressively growing in our capacity to reflect the character of Christ.
“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into His image with intensifying glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)
This connects beautifully with sanctification as an ongoing process. The Holy Spirit is making us teleioi (mature/whole), as Paul echoes in Philippians 3:12 (“not already made perfect” uses the related verb τετελείωμαι / teteleiōmai). It is not for us to try to perfect ourselves through endless striving in our own strength. Rather, we are to be obedient to His Spirit and surrender to Him who does this work in us.
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6 BSB)
The twisting of truth
One of the enemy’s oldest tactics is twisting God’s Word. From the serpent in Eden questioning, “Did God really say?” (Genesis 3:1) to the Pharisees weaponizing the law against people, distortion has always been a strategy of spiritual bondage.
Today, this same deceptive spirit coils around the truth, twisting Scripture to keep believers in fear, shame, and striving.
Paul reminded the Galatians not to be swayed by teachers who insisted they had to keep the law to be saved, urging them instead to hold fast to the freedom Christ had already secured for them.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be encumbered once more by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1 BSB)
In his letter to the churches of Galatia, Paul warns against false teachers and false gospels:
“But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be under a curse!” (Galatians 1:8 BSB)
The word Paul uses for curse in his statement regarding false gospels is anathema (ἀνάθεμα), meaning something devoted to destruction or set apart for judgment. This is a sobering reminder that any distortion of the gospel places a person outside of God’s covenant blessings and that twisting God’s word is not something to take lightly.
We are strongly exhorted to avoid false gospels and false teachers because they are destructive. These forms of deception destroy faith, peace, joy, and rest, and they are covered in the fingerprints of God’s enemy, who comes only to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).
Freedom and peace in Christ
Let these scriptures remind you once again of the freedom and peace of mind offered by the gospel:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 BSB)
For there is no difference between Jew and Greek: The same Lord is Lord of all, and gives richly to all who call on Him, for “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:12-13 BSB)
“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them out of My hand. My Father who has given them to Me is greater than all. No one can snatch them out of My Father’s hand.” (John 10:28-29 BSB)
We are no longer servants to the law, sin, or death. If you call Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior, He calls you “friend”. (John 15:15)
Conclusion: Shalom shalom
Brothers and sisters, rest in Christ. He has called us by name. He has chosen us. His commandment is not a crushing weight but a freeing invitation. His yoke is indeed easy, and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30) He asks for you to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. This is not a heavy burden at all if you know Him, as your heart will naturally long to do both.
This is the whole law, fulfilled in Christ Jesus, our Lord, Savior, and eternal King.
So walk in His joy and in shalom shalom, complete peace. Reject the spirit that twists God’s Word into fearful bondage. That is not your portion. In Christ, you are chosen, secure, and free. Stay close to Him in prayer and in the Word, and He will guide you in all truth. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8) Breathe easy, knowing that He is inviting you to cease striving for perfection and rest in His incomprehensibly vast, eternal love for you.
Read more from Bethany Nicole Donovan
Bethany Nicole Donovan, Licensed Psychotherapist
Bethany Donovan is a licensed psychotherapist in Virginia and Washington state. She is a veteran of the United States Air Force and Operation Enduring Freedom, serving for one deployment to Kandahar, Afghanistan. Bethany is a certified clinical trauma professional (CCTP) and is extensively trained in treating complex PTSD through EMDR and other trauma-informed therapy interventions. She has many years of experience working with the underprivileged and underserved populations, such as the incarcerated and homeless, as well as military members, veterans, and their families. Bethany has a passion for helping people heal from their past wounds so that they can go from surviving to thriving in life and build a life that they feel is worth living.
References:
[1] Leith, K. P., & Baumeister, R. F. (1998). Why do bad moods increase self-defeating behavior? Emotion, risk taking, and self-regulation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(2), 437-449.
[2] Nathanson, D. L. (1992). Shame and pride: Affect, sex, and the birth of the self. W. W. Norton & Company.
[3] Psychology Today. (2017, April 6). Overcoming the paralysis of toxic shame. In Overcoming Destructive Anger.
[4] Tangney, J. P., Stuewig, J., & Mashek, D. J. (2007). Moral emotions and moral behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 58(1), 345–372.
[5] Velotti, P., Garofalo, C., Bottazzi, F., & Caretti, V. (2017). Faces of shame: Implications for self-esteem, emotion regulation, aggression, and well-being. The Journal of Psychology, 151(2), 171-184.
