5 Ways Fear Intrudes With Living Your Best Life
- Brainz Magazine
- Jan 6, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Vince Morales, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
According to therapists, coming to grips with your fears is the first step to living a healthy, successful life. Once you understand your feelings, you can face them head-on.
The problem is this: our comfort zones can be cozy, safe, and convenient. So, we stay where we are, letting our fears get the better of us.
However, by sticking only to what you know—day in and day out—your life starts to become smaller and smaller. Then, one day, you wake up and realize you have become someone who always worries, frowns, and gets annoyed by trivial things. Ultimately, that anxiety becomes chronic stress, which quickly turns into depression. At the end of the day, staying in your comfort zone can backfire.
In this post, we rounded up five ways fear can interfere with living your best life. Keep reading to find out what they are. Then, you can learn how to face and overcome each one of your fears.
1. Fear of Inadequacy
This is the most common fear every single person on this planet has suffered from. Nearly every single situation you have been anxious about has, in one form or another, centered on your fear of not being ‘enough.’
Not skilled enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough—you name it. So, the first thing you must tackle is feeling like you are not enough. How do you do that? You start by acknowledging your fear. Be honest about your feelings and recognize that everyone feels the same at one point or another. We all do not like feeling vulnerable and putting ourselves out there. Though the other side of the coin is, many times when you do put yourself out there, you end up having a wonderful time.
Plus, you get a chance to boost your self-confidence. Not only that, but you begin to appreciate everything life has to offer. Remember: no one is perfect. You have skills other people do not and vice versa. Take pride in your story because it is what makes you you. That is a priceless commodity.
Another thing you must always remind yourself is you cannot control what people say about you or how they feel. You can control your reaction to it. Do not give them power over you. And more importantly, do not take their opinions personally. They are almost always based on incomplete truths. Do not let your fear of inadequacy control your life. Instead, use it to make you more human and a bit more resilient. There is no worst-case scenario in situations like this. No matter what happens, you will come out the other end having learned a valuable lesson.
2. Fear of Change
This quote should put a smile on your face: “People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn’t they?”
Do you know who said that? Bill Gates. Without people like him, we would be worse off, to say the least.
We are not trying to simplify life’s difficulties. We just want to show you that change can be good, illuminating, and exciting. It is certainly worth it, despite all the knots in your stomach and your heart beating a mile a minute.
Yet, worrying about change and what might happen will only rob you of the joy of living your life. To learn to accept change, it will help you learn to appreciate the present moment.
3. Fear of Failure
We are so good at mapping out how our futures will look like. Some have even pinned it down to the smallest details.
While it is nice to have a plan, some things will always be out of your control. There is no way around it, no matter what you do or how much you plan. Your life is not going to go exactly as you had dreamed it was going to be. To give you some perspective, few lives do, so you are not alone. What you must do is find the things you do have control over and direct your attention toward them. You also must recognize all the good going on in your life, no matter how small you may think it is.
In other words, take the risk of pitching your idea to your boss or trying out a new class. If it does not go the way you planned it, then do not call it ‘failure.’
Call it being one step closer to success. As Richard Branson says, “Don’t be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.”
4. Fear of Loneliness
Take a good look at this fear. Write your feelings down in a journal or talk to someone. Do not leave them trapped in your mind where they can grow out of proportion. That is where they will start to manifest and transform into something 100 times worse than they are.
If you are in a relationship, it can be easy to lose yourself in your partner’s world. You care for that person, and you want to be there for them in every way you can.
Many times, this means you slowly let go of who you are to keep the relationship going. If you feel like you are not being true to your values, likes, and dislikes, it is time to take a step back.
Fear of loneliness can be scary. But you have made it on your own through countless demanding situations. Why would it be any different now?
When you realize you can overcome your fear, you can start enjoying life. Even if that means you are no longer in a relationship. Never lose faith in your abilities and in who you are as an individual.
5. Fear of Rejection
Sometimes we worry that even if we put in 100% of our energy, we still might get rejected. Yes, rejection is a part of life. There is no escaping it or running away from it.
When you feel your fear of rejection start to gnaw at your insides, remember J.K. Rowling. Her Harry Potter manuscript got rejected 12 times before one publisher took pity on her. Now, look at her. Madeline L'Engle faced rejection 26 times before winning the Newberry Medal. Roots author Alex Haley wrote every day for eight years before achieving success. Remember Anne Frank? Her diary was rejected 15 times.
So, when you are embarking on a new chapter in your life and you are worried about rejection, think about these tips:
Allow yourself to feel hurt
Practice self-care
Know your worth
Remind yourself this is only a bump in the road
Spend time with people who love and support you
Write out self-affirmations to put things in perspective
Vince Morales,Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Vince Morales is a mindset, self-image, and resilience coach. In addition, he is skilled in leadership consultation and development. From April 2016 to June 2017, Vince was a homeless veteran in San Diego, CA. While homeless he made a powerful decision to change his thinking and mindset launching into life coaching. He developed a niche for resilience and mindset coaching. The growth of his business ultimately led to the end of his homelessness. Vince is Founder of Validus Coaching & Consulting, formerly Zoe Transformation. His story has been featured in online articles and online news outlets all over the U.S. He is a certified John Maxwell Team Coach, Trainer, & Speaker as well as a motivational speaker. In 2021, Vince earned his Master's degree in Psychology of Leadership from Penn State University and is currently a doctoral student pursuing a Ph.D. in Performance Psychology. He is a 2020 inductee in The National Society of Leadership and Success.
