5 Steps To Becoming More Self-Assured
Updated: Oct 28, 2021
Written by: Edmund Ellison, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I remember listening to a client tell me in a strategy session one day, ‘I can’t look potential clients in the eye. I feel a sense of shame, like I’m not good enough. My hands tremble, and I feel dread even thinking about going live or speaking to people. Please help me. I feel stuck, and I don’t know what to do’.
It struck me deeply at the situation they found themselves in. I recall thinking. I felt so sorry for them. They have a great gift that they want to use to empower others, and they feel trapped by their own mind.
Words have such a powerful and pervasive impact on us. The right words can lift us up. The wrong ones can cause despair.
When we are younger, we take on the values and beliefs of our parents. We are shaped by our experiences, and they leave an imprint on us.
So, it made me feel incredibly sad after doing an advanced hypnotherapy session with that client. I took her back to the memories that caused her to feel this way. What I learned was that her mum didn’t pay her any attention. She told her she wasn’t good enough and kept her away when friends were over.
She was empowered to reframe those memories and help her move past them. To recognize that she was an adult living through the eyes of a child who felt stuck and didn’t need to allow those beliefs to keep her stuck any longer.
And I wonder when you hear the word stuck, how does it make you feel? Most of us don’t ever want to admit we’re stuck because being an entrepreneur means figuring things out for ourselves. We all have our pride.
According to Dictionary.Cambridge.Org, the definition of stuck is ‘unable to move, or set in a particular position, place, or way of thinking.’
Most people are not aware they are stuck. They are solution aware, so they look externally to solve their problem on Google or Youtube, and they’ll type something similar to how to get fully booked.
There is an overload of information out there. However, the real question to ask here is, will this solve the root problem of what’s causing someone to be stuck?
So let’s delve into that by getting you to start really thinking.
What if I told you that you have approx. 50,000 thoughts every day which are reinforcing your beliefs.
Edmund, why do I need to know that? Good question.
Let me explain it like this to you. If you imagine that every day you blink, you are largely unaware of this unconscious habit that you have. Most people are not aware because it’s not something they think about, yet they do it.
So, if I told you that the average person blinks approx. 15-20 times per minute, and that worked out at 900 an hour, 14,400 a day, 100,800 a week, and approx. 5.2 million times a year, what would you say?
Now, I’m willing to bet that you are not aware of any of this and that these figures might take you by surprise.
You might even ask yourself; how could I do something this much without being consciously aware of it, and if I am doing that every day, what else am I doing without realizing?
So back to your beliefs. If you believe something which is anchored deep inside you, it’s having an influence on your decisions because your thoughts are linked to those beliefs.
People avoid doing the things they hate, and if we believe, for example, that we’re not good enough, then our minds will reinforce this. In fact, our view of the world will be shaped by it.
Often with my clients, they tell me that they feel an urge, resistance, or some type of block that’s holding them back.
They describe it each time to me that they get triggered by a scenario, event, or specific type of activity. It causes them to feel anxiety, panic, and stuck in a cycle they just can’t get out of.
So, they have a dilemma. They want to step up and take action in their business, yet a part of them is holding them back, and they have no idea how to fix it.
If that’s you and you’re reading this thinking, okay, I’m stuck, what do I do about it?
The good news is that you have so much control over your thinking that you don’t even realize it. Change is possible once you accept that it is.
Start off by becoming self-aware. You can’t fix something that you are not aware of. You only noticed your blinking because I made you aware of it. What habits are you in, and are they helping or hindering you?
Take a pen and paper. Write down the triggers and situations where you feel stuck. Look for the pattern; it’s there when you look close enough.
Write down the following affirmations: · I am good enough to do this; · I am successful, confident, and self-assured;
Record them in your voice and play them daily
Practice mindfulness to calm your mind and focus on being present to clear distractions.
When you want to change something, two things are key:
being consistent and;
being persistent.
First consistency in your thoughts, then in your actions, and once those two are aligned, you’ll see your results.
Edmund Ellison, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Edmund is the Founder and Chief Impact Officer of Impactful Today. He has 15 years of experience in global learning, performance, talent, and people development.
He is an award-winning high-performance mindset coach and executive contributor for Brainz Magazine who empowers business owners & leaders to remove mindset blocks using his CLEAR Impact model and methodology, so they can increase confidence, visibility, and profits.
