5 Reasons Why You May Need To Have An Identity Crisis
- Oct 13, 2022
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 7, 2024
Written by: Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Ten years ago, I wished I could have yelled and made the whole world stop. By that time, I was finally sick of my situation, and after spending years in a state of confusion, I finally realized what had been happening to me. My clarity was beginning to return. It finally dawned on me that I was in the middle of an identity crisis.
It was one of the worst states to be in. Physically I was fine, and no one could tell anything was wrong by just looking at me, but mentally I had checked out years ago. And it all started with a dream and a desire. What was once a childhood dream and career goal of being a Marine Biologist had become a trap for me. I ended up in a research science career that I loved, but when it was time to move on, I didn't have the confidence to leave, nor did I know where to go. I was just stuck! My confidence had been deteriorating slowly over the years due to overbearing perfectionism and minimizing my accomplishments. At work, I spent more time trying to hide my insecurities and low confidence than owning my competence. I was in a big ole' mess. What happened to the girl that was so driven and focused? How did I get to a place where I didn't know who I was or even knew what I wanted? I wish I could say that I quickly got out of that mess. It wasn't until I finally had enough of my situation that things started to change. I was forced to take a hard look at myself and face my reality. Since I was the one that caused this situation, I would have to be the one to get myself out of it. So for the first time ever, I did the work to build my identity. Not only did I uncover the 6 step Clarity process that I use to help my clients now, but I found my true calling of being a Mindset and Clarity coach, helping high-performing individuals gain clarity on who they are and how to confidently go after what they want in life. Looking back, my identity crisis, although painful, was the greatest thing to happen to me.
Otherwise, I would still be stuck in the same cycle of trying to fit into a role instead of getting clear on who I am as a woman FIRST (not as a Mom, Wife, Colleague, or entrepreneur) but as a Woman! Maybe part of my story resonates with you. We are usually the last ones to notice when we are losing ourselves. But bit by bit, the deterioration happens, and we turn our attention to being everything to others while ignoring the ache and desires in our own hearts. If anyone is good at being on auto-pilot, it is us. We know how to turn our unselfishness and altruism to the highest level. And we substitute our own personal joys for the care, time, and attention that we give to others. But deep inside, you know. Deep inside, you likely feel the same disappointment with your life as I did. You know you are meant for more, but many reasons may hold you back from going after it. Even if you want to, you don't know how to stop "the speeding train called your life" so you can get off. And day in and day out, you ride that same train knowing it will never take you beyond where you've been stuck. But it's not too late to turn your life around. Having an identity crisis is your answer! Now for the record, when I recommend you have an identity crisis, I"m not suggesting you have a massive fallout or experience a psychotic break. On the contrary. I think the terminology "identity crisis" is often misunderstood. Simply put, an identity crisis is a developmental event that involves a person questioning their sense of self or place in the world. This is the PERFECT time to finally get the clarity you need to turn your life around.
When were the last time you questioned who you are and your place in his world? Are you happy with where you are now? Deeply happy? If not, what needs to change?
Now is your time to have an identity crisis, so...
you can finally stop living your life for others and start deciding what you want
you can finally start figuring out who you are and what makes you so unique –you know – your
strengths, talents, brilliance, etc.
you can finally stop hiding the fact that you often struggle with your confidence, insecurities, etc., and instead rise above it
you can finally stop selling yourself short and accept less than you're worth and charge top a dollar for your value
you can finally create boundaries that give you the freedom to live your life on your own terms
and the list goes on and on. If you are not happy with where you are, now is the time to start doing something. Work with a coach or mentor to get the clarity you need. You know I'm here for you to help and cheer you on. I'm not here to pressure or push you. But I am here to encourage you and empower you to reclaim what belongs to you – YOUR LIFE! You are just one identity crisis away from living the life you've always wanted!
Want to learn more from Victoria? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website.
Victoria Baylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Driven by a profound sense to help High-Performing Leaders excel and showcase their Brilliance, Victoria Baylor offers her expertise in the fields of leadership development, mindset growth, and personal branding to help entrepreneurs, professionals, & organizational leaders gain the Clarity + Confidence to get out of their heads and excel in leadership. She is a Certified Mindset & Clarity Coach, NLP Practitioner, TEDx Speaker & 1 Amazon Best Selling Author whose holistic approach to coaching, speaking, and writing helps others accelerate their growth and push past their limitations.
After 15 years in research science, Victoria found her True Calling and purpose in behavioral science when she realized how easy it is for Women to lose their identities to the roles they serve in. She shares her insights & story in her TEDx talk, "You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do". This experience led her to focus on providing Coaching to help entrepreneurial & professionals (men and women) move beyond their mindset blocks and gain the personal brand clarity and strong mindset needed to operate as high-level leaders.
She also offers organizational interventions in the form of trainings, seminars, and/or team building to polish brilliant leaders. She is a writer for multiple publications and a podcast host. She serves on several boards and non-profit organizations. For fun, she enjoys traveling, cooking, and reading. She lives in Savannah Georgia with her husband and 14-year-old daughter, Reilly.
