top of page

3 Steps To Becoming Self-Empowered

Written by: Manelle Connelly, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


I never really understood what being self-empowered meant and what I was missing out on until I was given a serious reality check. It was the year 2006, I was 23 years of age, and I was driving home from university at 2 am. I felt fine getting into my car. After all, I had become accustomed to doing “all-nighters” in the computer labs and having to drive home in the late hours of the morning. That night, however, was different.

One moment I was driving, and the next I heard a woman’s voice in my left ear calling out my name. The voice was soft yet assertive. I immediately realised that I had fallen asleep at the wheel and my car had drifted to the other side of the road. Luckily, there were no on-coming cars though had I not been awoken, the situation could have been a lot more tragic.

My life was saved by someone I didn’t know, but sitting there parked on the side of the road in the silence of the night, I realised that something spiritually significant had just happened. I felt like a part of me had actually died that night and I was literally and metaphorically been steered back onto the right path.

The definition of empowerment, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is described as “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.”

You’re probably thinking, how does escaping death help you become self-empowered? Allow me to explain.

Up until that point in time I wasn’t particularly a happy person. I successfully managed to get accepted into a difficult Degree, and as much as that felt like an achievement, it never truly felt right for me. But I continued to push my way through it because it was just assumed that when you finished high school you go to university. It didn’t matter that I didn’t enjoy my Degree, it didn’t matter that I was living under the expectation that if I wasn’t working 80 hours a week I wasn’t working hard enough (according to my Lecturer at the time). What mattered to me the most, was that I needed to prove myself. I had to prove myself to my family, my lecturers, and to society that I can do what was expected of me. I was living by everyone else’s expectations of who I thought they wanted me to be, but it was that mystical miracle that literally gave me the wake-up call I needed to set that thinking straight!

What I learnt shortly after I experienced that Divine intervention, was that no one should have more authority over your own life but you, and that the journey to self-empowerment starts with deciding, once and for all, to become the true leader of your own life.

Step One: Use Discernment

The playwright and novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton made famous the quote “the pen is mightier than the sword.” We all know how hurtful or how inspiring words can feel. The words you say are either keeping you stuck in suffering and disappointment, or helping you achieve all that you want for yourself.

As a young adult, I took on the words of many authority figures and decided that their opinions were more important than my own, so they became the filter from which I would see the world. I would exercise my power of choice, but underlying those choices was the truth that I valued what they said over how I felt.

Therefore, the first step to becoming self-empowered is to use what I call the Discernment Filter. Discernment is the ability to use your own judgement. Having good discernment is an essential empowerment practice because everyone has their own opinion on what is right, wrong, possible, or impossible. What may seem impossible for one person is entirely possible for someone else. The point here is to never take what someone says to you as your truth. It is just their opinion.

In every conversation and with everything you watch or listen to, use your own judgement, and run it through your discernment filter. Determine whether what you’re being told is the highest truth or is only that person’s perspective or opinion. We are living in a world of infinite possibility, so the likelihood is that there is always more than one solution to every problem, and more than one approach to achieving something. It’s okay to seek advice or counsel, but still make sure that you’re making decisions that are contributing to your empowerment. This is especially the case with our family, friends, and people in positions of authority. They may mean well, like in the case of my lecturer who was trying (in his own way) to test my commitment and motivation to the Degree, but his opinion was simply that; His.

It’s up to you, as an individual in your own right, to ensure that your decisions and choices are actually your own and for your betterment.

Step Two: Take Your Power Back

The second step I took was to sit down with myself and think back to all of the major decisions I had made in my life up until that point. It was an exercise I like to call the Power Inventory.

I needed to become aware of who were the major influencers in my life that determined my decisions, and whose opinions I valued over my own. Instead of allowing the beliefs of one university lecturer dictate how hard I should work, I should have given myself that authority and that power. I should have decided to finish my university degree in my own time, on my terms and to a rhythm of work and rest that felt right for me. I should have decided to work smarter, not harder. But I didn’t do that. I gave his beliefs more power over my own, and my physical and mental health suffered tremendously as a result.

This step is an opportunity to become conscious of the people you are allowing to influence your beliefs that may be disempowering you. For instance, is the way you feel about your body image truly your own perspective or has it been influenced by the media, family, or others? What about your money beliefs? Is money the root of all evil or just a piece of paper/plastic we use to exchange for products and services?

Taking this inventory across every area of your life will enable you to consciously change the beliefs that have been keeping you disempowered. It will help you develop a whole new paradigm of self-worth so you can start taking charge of your own reality from a place of truth, conviction, and authenticity.

Step Three: Create Consciously

One of the biggest Universal Truths that I have been given and practice every day is the truth that we are the co-creators of our reality and what we put our mind, emotions, and words to, we create. This was another message that I received the night I was given my miracle wake-up call. Up until that point, I had been living under the spell that our lives are mere happenstance; that everything that happens to us is purely a coincidence. This is just not true.

We are incredibly powerful, and one of the greatest super-powers that we have been given is our imagination. Albert Einstein once said that “imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” What I have tested time and time again in my own life, is that the quality of my imagination mirrors the quality of my life. Whenever I imagine a negative outcome to a situation, I end up creating that outcome. For example, if I keep imagining running late and missing the train, then by the power of these imaginings, something always comes up that forces me to run late and miss my train! And by nature of this law, the reverse is also true, if I imagine a wonderful outcome to a situation, I end up creating that outcome. Science is only just now catching up to the truth that our Mind is a powerful Creator, and what we consistently put our mind to, we can make happen.

This third step is a slice of a new paradigm that I would like to offer you to ponder on, invite into your discernment filter and get curious about to practice in your own life. If you think back to a positive situation that you have experienced in your life. What were the quality of your thoughts at the time, the words you were saying, and the way you were feeling about it? Thinking back, you were probably feeling very hopeful, using encouraging language to describe what you wanted to achieve, and you were likely thinking very positively about it. But you didn’t just stop there. You also took the necessary action to help the outcome physically manifest in your life. All of these combined; your thoughts, beliefs, words, feelings, and actions, created your desired outcome. And it all started because you imagined it, sending the signal to your Mind that it was possible!

And this is exactly how you can start consciously creating the life that you want. It is a lot more empowering knowing and believing that you are the one in charge of your life, because it ultimately means that however hopeless a situation seems to you, you can always decide to change how you think and feel about it, and you can use the power of your imagination to begin this process.

Are you ready to unveil the extraordinary leader and creator within, so you can consciously create your dream life in alignment with your highest worth and potential? Start your Conscious Worth Journey today.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn visit my website for more info!


Manelle Connelly, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Manelle Connelly is a leader in conscious manifestation and spirituality. After experiencing physical and emotional health challenges in early adulthood, Manelle discovered how to embody her personal and spiritual power to become the true leader and creator of her own reality. As the Founder of Make Manifestation, Manelle facilitates Journeys and Workshops that teach her students how to embody their divine worth, discover their soul-calling, and love themselves unconditionally. Her mission is to awaken others to the power and truth of who they are, so they can manifest their divine destiny fearlessly, consciously and faithfully.



  • linkedin-brainz
  • facebook-brainz
  • instagram-04


bottom of page