3 Reasons You Need Mentorship, NOT Coaching To Reach Your Goal
- May 24, 2022
- 6 min read
Updated: May 25, 2022
Written by: Nicole Louis, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Is it me, or does everyone seem to be a coach these days?
Well, I'm just going to say it.
You need a mentor, not a coach! Read that again.
Yes, I said it!
I will give you three major reasons why if you are serious about reaching big scary goals, you need a mentor, not a coach.
Let me give a prime example.
Back in 2014, I decided I would start working for myself because I felt burnt out and I was unhappy in my job.
I had no business acumen whatsoever. In fact, I did not even know what a tax return was at the time.
Needless to say, it was a very steep learning curve, and not knowing what I was doing, how I was going to do it and not seeing a blueprint of the kind of business I wanted to have within my industry meant I had to figure it out alone.
It took me the best part of five years to really understand what I was doing. I developed a much deeper understanding of how all the moving parts of my business impacted the other and how they should fit together if it was going to be sustainable and far more scalable.
During those five years, I experienced so many losses because of ignorance, a lack of guidance, hesitation, misunderstanding and taking miscalculated risks. It's put me in a great position to help others within my industry avoid what I went through, but it was painful and costly.
What I needed was mentorship. Not having a mentor caused me to waste far too many hours and a lot of money. Worst of all, it cost me anxiety and worry in moments when I was so unsure because of past mistakes, but I had to press forward anyway.
I experienced some scary times, but I got through it and made it out to the other side of the statistic, where businesses fail within the first year or five years. *cue pat on the back*
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO
So, how do I know I needed a mentor and not a coach to help me through those first five years?
Well, let's talk about the three main differences between the two that, in my view, make all the difference and which should influence your choice.
A coach will…
works with you on a short-term basis
ask questions but won't advise or guide you
not need to have experience in the area they are coaching you
Comparatively, a mentor will…
work with you long-term, so you won't be left in the lurch or have a disjointed and inconsistent experience that will impair your ability to reach your goal.
mentor you with a structure that lets you know what you need to do. They will not only ask you questions, but they will provide you with advice and guidance that will nurture your holistic development as you take your journey.
have had experience in the area they are supporting and advising you in, so the depth of their advice and guidance will be more profound.
MENTORSHIP HAS MY VOTE
Understanding the difference between the two plays a significant role in understanding which to apply to what scenario.
From the three reasons I have outlined, having a mentor will likely give you a richer experience because they will be someone who has walked, talked, and lived on the road you are about to embark upon.
They will be in a stronger position to help you avoid the pitfalls and how to shortcut your way to success, which will save you time, money and heartache.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I believe that coaches have their place. In fact, I not only have a minor, but I have a coach too.
I, one hundred per cent, believe there is a place for both mentors and coaches, but let's face it. Life has changed drastically, and it has become more scary and complex since 2020. Many people have had to make some significant changes. Sometimes unwelcome changes have meant making tough decisions that impact the trajectory of a person's career and life in general.
When life has thrown such huge curveballs, and you have to navigate massive changes, you want someone who has been through it and comes out on the other side still standing.
You want someone who will have a depth of empathy that enables them to know what you're thinking, why and then tell you how to get through it.
That is what a mentor is to me, and that is what I needed before I started my business. I would have gotten to where I am now way quicker, and I would have been even further ahead than I am now.
WHAT MAKES A GREAT MENTOR
So now you've agreed that a mentor is what you need and not a coach (lol), I want to tell you what makes a good mentor so you can make the right choice when selecting someone to support you on your journey.
There are seven identifying marks of a great mentor that you should look out for before making a final decision.
A great mentor will…
be open about their experience that qualifies them to support you. This does not mean going into every detail that leaves them vulnerable and exposed. Still, they are honest and, without shame, can talk about their experience and, more importantly, how they overcame it.
be teachable and willing to reflect as you share your experience of being mentored by them. Your mentor understands that even though they have walked the road you're embarking upon, you are unique, and so there are likely to be nuances that they must consider if they are going to give you the best support.
have mentorship or coaching themselves and understand what it is to be the helpee and the helper. This is important because it feeds into them being teachable, them understanding the power dynamics that could present themselves at some point and how they can safely and respectfully navigate it.
know their limits as it pertains to supporting you. Depending on the circumstance, the mentor may find themselves out of their depth or in a space personally that does not allow them to be fully present for you. They will be honest in saying if things change and will suitably find alternative support for you without leaving you high and dry.
be able to communicate with you on a variety of levels. For example, not just verbally, but they will have the skill to connect with you on a non-verbal level which will deepen the working relationship of trust. They will be able to pick up on your non-verbal cues and will be able to tease out when you might be self-sabotaging and playing small. They will keep you accountable.
Having a great mentor will help you deepen the trust you have in their ability to get you from the place you are to where you want to be, and you will have an even more fulfilling experience.
As an independent social worker, my role involves mentoring other social workers crippled by fear, a lack of confidence and uncertainty. I can honestly say that the changes I have seen in them and which they report to me, demonstrate the power of mentoring.
Being a mentor is a lovely experience, and I hope you have the opportunity to experience making an important journey with someone as a mentee or mentor.
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Nicole Louis, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
NicoleMLouis is an unconventional strategy mentor to social workers. With over 15 years of experience within the social work industry, Nicole has broken the mould herself, running a successful independent business for more than 6 years, generating 6 figures. She is trailblazing the way to revolutionise how independent social work is done globally. Mentoring social workers on how to use their years of experience to create more work-life balance, increase their income and serve their clients deeper through full independence. And by collaborating with industry influencers and experts, such as Dr Neil Thompson & Professor John Rautenbach. Get a free 45-minute call with Nicole at www.nicolemlouis.com/getresults
