Written by: Elena Herrera, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Did you set up any New Year’s resolutions? If you're like most people, you might already have set your goals for this year.
Exercise more, lose weight, save money, eat healthier, reduce stress, get more sleep, stick to a budget, focus on spiritual growth, travel more, spend more time with family, quit smoking, build friendships, make more money - these are the top new year’s resolutions people make.
What about you? What is your resolution this year?
Many people like to think of the new year like it is a fresh start. The phrase “new year, new you” firmly settled in our psyche, and we are eager to use the New Year timeline to our advantage.
Let me guess, like many other people; you might have probably already started taking the necessary action steps towards your resolution(s), right?!
As January rolls in, I am sure you feel strong, determined, and committed to achieving your goals. But as time passes, your resolution might be starting to show some holes. Maybe you skipped a workout thinking that you’d resume the next day, or maybe you started eating more again, thinking that you’d get back on track next week, or maybe you already spent more money than planned. And before you know it, you are back to your old habits feeling frustrated and guilty about not being able to stick to your goals. It is only the beginning of the year, but you are already failing your resolution.
You might be tempted to blame a failure on your lack of willpower. I can even hear these thoughts running in your head, “I am not committed enough,” or "I didn't put enough effort.”
But are you sure that it is the lack of willpower that caused you to fail?
What if I told you that about 80 percent of people fail their new year resolutions. Moreover, most lose their resolve by mid-February.
Yes, that’s right!
New Year’s resolutions are like a bad boyfriend. They can stick around for a bit, making you feel wonderful initially, but then you approach the stage of true commitment with them, and suddenly they are not there anymore. Poof vanished! Here you are left all alone thinking what you could've done wrong.
But let me tell you something...the problem might not actually be you.
Yes, you read it correctly!
Many resolutions are basically set-ups to fail from the beginning.
Why do so many of us set out with good intentions but come up short? Why are we unable to make the changes we want to make and create the life we want to live?
When people start with their resolution on January 1st, they make a change based on a calendar date when they think they are ready to change their lives. This is one of the biggest reasons most resolutions fail. People make resolutions to motivate themselves, but if they aren’t ready to change their habits, particularly bad habits, their goals don't stand a chance.
What to do instead: Don’t necessarily wait for the new year to make a resolution. Know that you can start at any time. Connect to your need for a change and to why you want that change. Then you can make it happen based on your timeline when you are ready instead of waiting for January 1st.
2. Lack of emotional connection to your goal.
Are you truly clear about why your new year’s resolution is important to you and why you want to achieve it?
You’d be surprised how many people set goals for the wrong reasons. Peer pressure and social expectations are big influencing factors for goal setting..and a failure of them.
To succeed in achieving your goal, you need to understand your deeper why. It is the emotional aspect (passion) of the goal that drives you to follow through on your actions. How would you like to feel? For example, I want to make $$$ next year. Why? I desire financial freedom. Why? I can invest more into my self-growth as well as developing my business. Why? It is my deepest heart’s desire to have a deep understanding of myself and be fully aligned with my true potential and higher purpose. Why? So I can inspire and guide others to find their truth so that they can live a life of beauty and fulfillment in their own brilliance.
No matter how clear and measurable your goal is, if you don't feel emotionally connected to it, most likely you won't achieve it because it would be very hard to stick to the needed actions.
What to do instead: Before committing to a goal, connect to your deeper why behind it. How would you like to feel? If you have a hard time doing it, turn to magazines. Cut out pics that make you feel inspired for no reason. You’ll start seeing a pattern of your underlying desire. Follow the rule of 3 Whys (asking the question "why?" three times) to clarify why this desire is truly important to you.
3. Lack of support and accountability.
So many people lack motivation and accountability, despite their best intentions. However, they won’t ask for help. There are many reasons why people resist getting support - fear of appearing weak, needy, or incompetent. But trying to achieve your goal without the proper support often leads to failure.
What to do instead: You have much higher chances to follow through on your goals when others are witnessing you. To stick with the change, you let others know about your goals and commitments. Close friends, family members, goal-oriented groups, social accounts - these are all great ways to support yourself through change and achieve your goal. Never underestimate the power of social approval. Simply knowing that you will be held accountable for your actions will help you stay focused and consistent. And remember about professional help like a therapist or a life coach. Setting yourself up with this type of support system will help you achieve your goals and bring a profound understanding of yourself so you can radiate your light into the world. When you do this, you can become an inspiration and support for others. And isn't’ it empowering!?
So, let’s summarize!
Instead of pushing for this New Year resolution, eliminate the pressure by clarifying the key themes you want to expand on, bringing them into focus, and deciding the desired outcomes.
As an intuitive transformation coach, I always have many different clients. Some would resist the change as much as they can. Others are eager to change but would fall off the wagon shortly after starting. This doesn't mean that I stop working with them. Instead, I guide them to connect to their resistance to develop a deeper understanding of why they operate the way they do. They can then see how their resistance keeps them stuck in specific “negative,” self-sabotaging, or self-limiting patterns. And when they shift out of their resistance, they can drop into their own truth and experience the greatness of their beautiful being.
In the end, it’s an internal job that’s required to sustain your definition of great happiness and success. You can take all the well-advised steps in the world, but unless you connect deeply to your values, beliefs, habits, desires, and greatest fears, it will remain very difficult to reach your most thrilling goals.
Set yourself up for success using the strategies in this article, and at the very least, fail forward. Learn from your experiences, and even if you don’t achieve your goal, you’ll still be closer to it than you were at the start of the year. If you need more guidance and support with where you are in life, feel free to fill out a questionnaire on my website. We can then set up a FREE 30-min consultation. I promise you’ll walk away with clarity and determination.
Elena Herrera, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
My personal story of transformation took my life from “unconscious” to “connected and meaningful.” Applying the same tools and modalities I teach today, plus my gift of intuition, I grew from a personal trainer to a full-blown Intuitive Transformational Coach who helps dozens of people to live a life of self-awareness, radiance, and fulfillment.