By: Madeleine Mofjärd
Are you doing more to avoid fear than to get pleasure? We all have fears. It isn't necessarily something negative unless we become a victim of them. The questions is: how would your life look like if you made more decisions based on your desired outcomes than on the emotions that you fear feeling?
There are two primal fears that we feel as human beings. The fear of not being loved and the fear of not being good enough. These are both fears that can diminish our experience on this planet if we make decisions based on how to avoid them. I am here to inspire you to a new thought pattern and change your relationship to fear.
”If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, then what you want becomes the sacrifice”
Step 1: Identify the thought that is creating the fear
The fear that you feel in your body doesn't come from nowhere. Every feeling that you feel is a result of a thought that you've decided to think. 50% of all change is awareness, when you become aware of the thought that triggered the emotion you also have the power to insert a new thought. To give you an example from my own life: whenever I fear speaking my truth in front of a group of people I am triggered by the following thoughts:
“I am too young” “I am not experienced enough to talk”
By being aware of the limiting thoughts and questioning them I'm able to choose my new truth. I truly believe that they way we live our lives is a result of the story that we believe about ourselves - like the one and only Les Brown once said. This gives us the power to choose whatever story to believe. My new truth is:
“My voice empowers others”
“I am chosen to spread this message”
What thought is creating the fear that you're feeling? Is it really true?
Step 2: Interrupt the thought pattern with a compelling question
The easiest way to change a thought pattern is to ask yourself a new set of questions. This will take your mind on a ride of trying to find an answer, so make sure to ask a compelling question. Here are the questions that I ask myself in moments of fear:
“If fear didn't exist, would I want to see myself do this?”
“What would it make me feel to overcome the fear?”
Step 3: Take one step of action
When you've identified and interrupted the thought pattern you're ready to take the first step of action. Make sure to carry the new thoughts with you, the new story of what you're capable of and why. Leave the old story behind - it doesn't serve you no more. You will be scared and you will feel fearful, just allow yourself to feel the emotions that flows thru you. What is one step of action that you could take to move forward, in the direction of your fear? Schedule it and get started!
How would your life look like if you made more decisions based on desired outcomes than on the emotions that you fear feeling?
Madeleine Mofjärd is a podcast host, producer and social media manager.