Written by: Anton Broers, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We live in a world full of stress and anxiety. The mental health challenge is one of the biggest challenges of this era and yes, gets a lot of attention but unfortunately the wrong attention. Structural solutions are possible but are hard to find in all the coverage and discussions. We will never be able to control the world around us but we can learn to control our inner world.
Where do we learn to manage our inside? We don’t. I have found the treasure of learning to control my inner emotions and experiences and it is my mission to share this treasure with the world. This article gives you insight in what is possible for all us: a happy and successful life without stress and anxiety. When you read my article you will learn three empowering mindsets and receive three practical tools that will make the experience of your everyday life so much better!
Imagine the no-stress-world
You grow up in-between the walls of a beautiful castle where everything grows, evolves and blooms and where there is no hardship.
Your life in-between these walls is all taken care off. You are loved, you are being nourished, you are getting lots of positive attention.
You get all opportunities to develop your talents and skills. You receive education from the best teachers. You receive wisdom from the wisest sages. You receive physical training from the best martial arts and combat teachers.
Your life is without any stressors because the people around you make sure that you are shielded from any of the things in life that might pose a challenge. You don’t see sickness. You don’t experience rejection. You always succeed. Others have no expectations from you.
As a consequence, you grow up thinking that everything will always be going right for you.
Behold: the no-stress-world.
Imagine the shock of the ‘real’ world
You are transported from the no-stress-world into the ‘real’ world.
You start to look around and you start to observe facts of life that you have never seen…
There are people without sufficient food.
There are people fighting with each other.
There are people who are physically impaired.
There are people who do not succeed in their endeavours.
There are people who criticise and insult others.
There are people who believe they have to be someone else in order to be accepted.
As a consequence, you start to think that everything can actually go wrong for you. You start to feel stressed and anxious. You will be in shock…!
Behold: the full-of-stress world.
The master and the big secret!
You are walking around in this full-of-stress world feeling full of stress and anxiety yourself and suddenly you see a person who is all calm and peaceful and stable and happy and joyful.
You ask other people who this person is and they tell you that she is a master of life. She has understood herself and she has learned how live in the ‘real’ stressed-out-world and yet remain in balance and untouched.
You walk over the master and ask her: ‘What is your secret?’
And then she tells you the following big secret: ‘you cannot control the things in the world around you but you can learn to control your emotions inside of you.’
You feel inspired and empowered by her answer and ask her: ‘How?’
She says: ‘Let me share three empowering mindsets and three practical tools with you. When you keep connection with the three mindsets and apply the three tools you have made a start to take control over your own inner stress and anxiety.’
You say: ‘Yes please, thank you.’
So the master shares her wisdom and insight with you.
Empowering mindset I and practical tool I
As we live, it is good to realise that different people have different experiences of life.
Have you noticed?
The same event can result in huge stress in one person but leave another person untouched.
The same result can upset one person tremendously but does not shake another person at all.
The same comment can bring one person off-balance totally but not move or impact another person.
What we can learn from this observation is that somehow it is possible to experience a different emotion from the same situation. This thought can be of help to you because: if another person can remain calm in a certain situation, you also might be able to do this.
Mindset I – I can remain calm and balanced whatever happens because other people can also do this.
In situations where you feel stressed and anxious, your mind is not the most effective tool to calm yourself down. The good thing is that we all have another tool 24/7 at our service: our body. We can use a well-known bodily function to manage our feelings and emotions in the moment: breath. Consciously breathing in and out deeply will help you to relax your mind, your emotions and your body.
Tool I – Consciously breathe in and out deeply 8 times.
Empowering mindset II and practical tool II
As we observe ourselves, it is good to look at the root cause for our feelings of stress and anxiety. As we get to know ourselves a bit better, we can start to see that our emotions are not caused by the things around us. No, our emotions, including stress and anxiety, are caused by our thoughts about the things in our lives.
Things happen, yes. Things are being said to us, yes. Things might not work out, yes. All of that is true. But all these things are not the cause for your emotions. There is something in-between all these events and your emotions: your thoughts about the event. Shakespeare said it very well in Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2: ‘’Nothing is good or bad. Your thinking makes it so.’’
Who do you think has the power to choose your thoughts? It is you yourself. Yes it is you! This is great power and results in the next empowering mindset.
Mindset II – I can have power over my stress and anxiety. That power lies in my thinking.
In order to see this power, you can observe yourself in times of high emotions. These can be high positive emotions like joy, gratefulness, celebration and also high negative emotions like anger, frustration, disappointment. Tool II will help you to start to see that the root cause of your emotions is indeed your thinking.
Tool II – When feeling emotional, ask yourself: ‘what am I thinking?’
Empowering mindset III and practical tool III
Your power lies in-between the Event and the Emotion. And your power lies in choosing your perspective regarding whatever Event is occurring. What do you focus on in the Event? Different people ‘see’ different things.
What do you ‘see’?
Do you see the problems or do you see the opportunities?
Do you see the bad or do you see the good?
Do you see the ugliness or do you see the beauty?
The perspective that we choose decides the reality that we experience. We can all learn to choose our perspective. In every Event, both sides are present. You have the power the choose your perspective. What do put your focus on? As you choose your perspective more deliberately, you have the power to choose your experience.
Mindset III – I can choose my (emotional) reality through choosing my perspective.
What do you think will be the result of choosing a positive perspective versus choosing a negative perspective in a particular situation? If you choose positive, your reality will be positive. If you choose negative, your reality will be negative. The following tool will help you to improve your emotions and your reality of life.
Tool III – Whatever the event, ask yourself: what is good about this?
Live your life more effectively and efficiently
The ‘real’ world is full of factors that might trigger stress and anxiety into your day. You will not be able to control these stress factors but you have to power to control your emotions resulting from them. With the right mindset and effective tools you can learn to live like the lotus: live in his world but stay above it, i.e. remain unaffected by the circumstances, situations and challenges that are presented to you. This way you can live your life way more effectively and efficiently.
Our power lies within and it starts in our mind, in the way we think, consciously or unconsciously. Every day, I work with children, adults, teams, companies to introduce them into their inner mind power and to guide them to develop mindsets that will empower and elevate them for more happiness, success, fulfilment and freedom in their lives. Inspired? Intrigued? Ready for huge positive change in your life also? Contact me and I can guide you to transform your life!
Anton Broers, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Anton Broers is a leading mindset coach and trainer based in Europe. He is a former senior business leader at a global brand who spent time in Europe, Asia, and the Americas. Anton is a keen student of ancient spiritual wisdom made simple for modern-day application. As the CEO of Mind ur Life in the Netherlands, he helps children, adults, and businesses toward happiness, success, fulfilment, and freedom. Anton’s mission is to introduce the world to the power of the mind to create the life and results we desire.