15 Questions to Recognise a Toxic Workplace and 13 Ways to Protect Your Well-Being
- Brainz Magazine
- 1 day ago
- 12 min read
Written by Nicola Eaton-Taylor, Leadership Therapist
Nicola Eaton-Taylor is an executive coach and leadership therapist, fusing HR and Health & Safety expertise with NLP and holistic therapy. She helps businesses enhance servant leadership and communication to optimise employee well-being and performance.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your workplace might be toxic, you’re not alone. Many of us endure environments that subtly drain our energy, affect our mental well-being, and ultimately harm our careers. This article offers a deep dive into 15 warning signs that indicate you're working in a toxic workplace and 13 practical ways to protect yourself while staying well. Drawing from personal experiences and lessons learned from coaching clients, I’ll help you recognize the red flags and take action before it's too late. Your health, happiness, and career depend on it, don’t wait until it’s too late to make a change.
I hope that you are not in the unfortunate position of experiencing all 15 of these indicators. If you are, I urge you to stop for a moment and evaluate your options. Your health and well-being are the most important things. Without your health, both mental and physical, you cannot sustain employment, and you cannot maintain your lifestyle. It’s as simple and as powerful as that. That means you must take action. Take action to protect yourself so that you can continue to thrive and provide for your standard of living. It can be difficult, no question about that, but what are the consequences if you don’t? Long-term sickness? An incurable stress condition? Job loss? A battering to your self-esteem and credibility? These aren’t valid options, are they?
I’ve written from personal experience, drawing on examples provided to me by my coaching clients, colleagues, friends, and family. They are not from a single employment but from long careers in various professions and sectors, all culturally distinct.
Celebrating positive intentions
I’m writing this on a Sunday evening. I’ve been planning for my week ahead, and suddenly, it came to me how different Sunday evenings now feel. My new career as an NLP coach and leadership trainer has given me a new drive, aligned with my passion to help employees be happy and productive in their workplace. As I write a new course on Emotional Intelligence for Call Centre Staff, I recall when things have not been so joyful.
A bleak review of a toxic workplace
As I’m relaxing into flow and the words are hitting the page, it occurs to me just how different my Sunday evenings were in the past. Instead of being excited to plan the week ahead, I was filled with a mix of dread, imposter syndrome, and a confused sense of who I was and why this was happening.
But in remembering back, I can recall all the toxic work environments I’ve endured. I remember being 19 and working in an insurance call centre, asking myself, “This can’t be my working life until retirement, can it?” I’d just been called into the office to talk to my boss. No notice or preparation. Hung out to dry by my colleague, who had shifted the blame for her mistake onto me. I had to explain myself, but I could tell from his tone that he had already decided what had happened and what he wanted to do about it. My convincing argument had no standing.
I recall lecherous hands getting too close for comfort on too many occasions.
I jumped to the time when I was working as an HR Manager and an employee who had been through a disciplinary process barged into my office, shouted abusive language, and made physical threats toward me.
I’ve had acute and chronic stress, two burnouts, a thyroid blowout, and many emotional breakdowns in the workplace. That may make me sound unstable. I assure you, I am not. I was, however, one of the many individuals who succumbed to a toxic work environment.
When you are in one, you may not notice it straight away. It can be like a fog, eluding you, making you believe that you are the problem. You have to work harder to meet expectations because everyone else can manage it. You have to give more of your free time to meet the demands, and you have to take the criticism, the micromanaging, and being ignored just so you can maintain your sense of dignity, just so that you can believe you are doing a good job. You tolerate it because you think you should, because who are you to challenge it?
Yes, some jobs are stressful. Yes, there are times when the pressure of a short deadline or an unexpected problem creates excitement. But there’s a difference between this natural, expected, and short-term stress that drives growth and results, and a toxic workplace that erodes your self-esteem, self-worth, and mental and physical health.
With each setback, I’ve grown in my personal power, resilience, and ability to stay solid in my own space.
15 red flags of a toxic workplace
You have a general anxiety about going to work. Sunday nights are the worst. The dreaded anticipation of getting up in the morning, getting ready, leaving the house, turning up to the workplace, switching your device on, meeting your boss, colleagues, and customers. Your anxiety sinks into the pit of your stomach, your heart rate rises, and the sense of foreboding stays with you until you finally fall asleep. You think it’s your fault and that you’re failing, while everyone else seems to be doing just fine.
You are micromanaged. You need to explain everything you are doing to your leaders, repeatedly. You believe you are being watched over your shoulder. Your decisions are scrutinised and interrogated. Your decision-making powers are revoked right after you’ve made an important decision and communicated it to your customer. You are left with an uncomfortable retraction, a loss of integrity, and a deep feeling of frustration. Your autonomy takes a hit, and before you know it, you start to question yourself. Am I able to do this job? Am I good enough? Imposter syndrome takes hold. Your colleagues may feel the same, but you are afraid to ask them.
Your workplace has high turnover, where there should normally be longevity. Most people have worked there for less than two years. Very few, probably only the managers, have been there for over ten years. New starters come and go. Your team is always in the Tuckman model of team formation, jumping from Forming to Adjourning without peeking at Performing. Recruitment is delayed, and vacancies remain unfilled far longer than anyone can cope with the additional work demands placed on them. There’s the inevitable quiet quitting, then the actual quitting. Not wanting to work their notice, your colleagues go off sick, or their notice period is curtailed. So their workload automatically becomes yours. Retention rates are not a KPI. You suspect the number is high, but you know the leaders aren’t monitoring the data, so there is no investment in understanding why. Recruitment costs are a massive budget constraint, which means your pay and benefits stagnate.
If your colleagues aren’t leaving, they are off sick. The pressure to cover your colleagues’ work on top of your own is exhausting. You just want to do a good job, your own job. All the extra responsibilities are pushing you deeper into anxiety. You can’t thrive or feel well in a toxic environment. You and your colleagues regularly suffer from insomnia, headaches, digestive problems, and frequent viral infections.
The blame game is rife. There are backstabbers everywhere. No one owns up to mistakes because they are publicly humiliated and ostracised. They pull others into the blame frame. The blame is pinned on one person, and you have to hope it’s not going to be you.
You have action paralysis. You are afraid of the consequences of making a mistake or raising concerns. You are frightened of retribution and of looking foolish. You’ve done it before, and you learned your lesson. So you struggle on, make things up as you go along, and hope for the best. Taking time off for holidays or sickness would mean that someone could find you out. There is no psychological safety. And no one actually knows what that means.
The relationship with your leader has broken down. Your trust has diminished based on examples where they have not acted with integrity. You wonder if they know their job or if they got where they did because they sucked up to their boss. Yes-men and yes-women, playing the game. But they have no idea of the impact they are having as they enrol more clients and allocate their files to you. You can’t object. You just have to take it. You remain silent. You have no voice.
Unclear vision and values. There’s often no direction of travel, no team cohesion, no communication between teams. When directions are explained, you change tack, you prepare for the new range. But then here comes the U-turn. Misdirections and all-stop notices. You resume what you were previously doing. You feel exhausted, confused, and frustrated, and you think that if you call out the impact, you’ll be met with hostility.
Your performance reviews are cancelled. When you do have them, the “bad news sandwich” is the chosen feedback loop, except the slices of bread are either wafer-thin or completely absent. You hardly ever get praised for your diligence, effort, commitment, or quality of work. Instead, there’s a double dose of nitpicking before you are sent on your way with no real development or support plans.
There are no boundaries. You work long hours, more than you should. It’s an unwritten expectation that you’ll check your emails out of hours, and you feel guilty if you don’t provide a free on-call service. Meetings are scheduled at the weekend and late into the evening, often at short notice, and you are expected to attend and give your best input, all researched and presented superbly.
The pressure is too great, and everyone has short fuses. It’s bringing out the worst in you and your colleagues’ behaviour. Ratty, short-tempered, somewhat explosive. There are tears and tantrums, and meetings with HR.
You are not the favourite, but it’s very clear who is. And isn’t it strange how they got the promotion? It’s quite passive-aggressive, there’s always a superficial reason that is never objectively justified. Not enough to raise a grievance, just enough to keep you feeling anxious and silenced.
Leadership denial. They promote the idea that the culture is fine. They say, “We’ve always done things like this,” to validate their style. Poor behaviour goes unchallenged and becomes the default. The poor culture spreads like a virus. Your immune system ultimately takes the hit.
There’s a leadership style mismatch. There’s a misalignment with norms, expectations, and communication styles. Flexibility of approach is absent. In this modern world, leadership requires adaptability.
You all endorse toxic behaviour by ignoring it, not challenging it, and letting other pressures make it less of a priority. So you all stick to what you know, and nothing changes.
13 ways to protect yourself and stay well in that workplace
Awareness is curative. Treat this like a data capture exercise, whereby you are independently stepping out of your self-blame mode and looking at the environment objectively. The scores above will indicate your areas of concern. Capture the data. Analyse it. Find solutions.
Get perspective: Are you being objective when you look at the situation?
Check your behaviour. Do you join in the blame culture? That’s okay. No one is perfect, and you’ve been sucked into the negative culture spiral. But now you can see it clearly. You can start to take accountability, ownership, and responsibility for your work and outcomes, rather than making excuses, blaming others, or using denial as a tactic to keep you safe.
Recognise your part within the problem. Misery loves company, and we have a natural negativity bias that needs no excuse for a good moan. We mirror the behaviour of our peers and leaders, giving unconscious permission to lower our standards. But you can act differently now. Take a breath, leave the room, or say something that shows you aren’t joining in with the negative conversation.
Learn about your values. Identify what’s important to you and what purpose you are trying to achieve. Is this a career or a job? Are you just there for the money? If so, you can get paid in another job. What’s your intention behind turning up here specifically, day after day? Is your career gaining momentum? When you are clear on your values, take a look at whether they conflict with those of the organisation and its culture. This may help you decide if you want to stay and make a difference or if it’s time to cut your losses.
You are not responsible for other people’s behaviour. Read that again. You are not responsible for their well-being, their inspiration, their output, or their attitude. Your locus of control is firmly about you. Therefore, set a good example. If you don’t know what that good example looks like, find someone who models excellent behaviour. If there is someone in the workplace, go and talk to them about their style, influence, and strategies, or choose someone externally.
Culture belongs to everyone. You put into it in equal measure that which you take out. If you rise above poor behaviour and call it out in a way you are comfortable with, your colleagues and leaders will adapt to your new persona and respect you for it. If there is a problem with the number of leavers, make suggestions for shared data on retention. Suggest employee voice forums and net promoter questionnaires. Ask for training on emotional intelligence and leadership. Offer 360 feedback if your boss is willing to accept it. Be kind and factual, share examples, and express the impact of their style on your outcomes.
Ask for valid feedback and give necessary rebuttal to unfair or inaccurate feedback. Take time to plan your review meeting. Take examples of challenges and what you did well. Consider offering to take the notes of the meeting and send them to your manager afterwards. This indicates that you are serious, committed, and have a balanced view of your achievements and development needs.
Own your voice. Building good communication mechanisms relies on building rapport. Find common ground between you, your colleagues, and your boss. This could be shared values and interest in the business, or something related to a personal hobby. Remember that people like people like you. Similarities are easier to connect with. Match their communication preferences to build rapport.
Set clear boundaries about your personal space and time. You are not employed on a 24/7 contract. You have a right to a personal life and to enjoy your downtime and holiday leave. Book your holiday in the diary at the start of the year and ensure that you take your full entitlement. Discretionary effort is a real thing. It shows that you are willing to be flexible and give extra when circumstances demand. It shows that you are committed to your role and that you care. Have a clear conversation about what discretionary effort looks like to you, and be clear about what you are willing to offer. Saying no to extended out-of-hours meetings is not a lack of commitment. It’s a commitment to your ability to remain focused and attentive and to maintain your momentum in the long term.
Maintain your resilience. Make sure that your work life doesn’t dominate your whole life. Keep your hobbies and social activities going. Remember, you are a human with basic needs of nourishment, rest, sleep, exercise, love, and connection. The antidote to stress is activity and love. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you, and laugh as much as you can. The physiological and neurological benefits are well known. Breathe deeply, and get out into nature to gain perspective and connection.
You are a human “being,” not a human “owning.” Take a measure of what really matters to you. Are you striving for material items or status symbols that keep you in a perpetual loop of competition and consumerism? Is that one of the reasons you are staying in this toxic workplace? What would a simpler life look like for you?
Leave! Acknowledge your self-worth enough to know that you do not deserve to remain in a toxic work environment. Take additional free or low-cost training courses to boost your confidence and credibility. Invest in a coach who can help you reflect your incredible skills in a well-written CV and provide strong examples for interviews.
If you recognise more than five of the symptoms and are starting to feel the strain, if you are a leader and think that your team might have a problem, or if you are a business owner and are curious to know why your staff are always leaving, it might be time to check in with me.
I offer an audit of your culture, employee satisfaction, and net promoter score, as well as bespoke leadership and employee training, workplace mediation, and individual coaching for HR, executive leadership, and emerging leaders.
I’ve had 30 years in the world of work. I’ve moved jobs, pivoted careers, been promoted, held senior positions, and quit jobs with no plans or places to go. And I’m committed to sharing those learnings with you. My mission is to improve workplace culture so that employees can thrive and businesses can flourish with high-performing and committed employees.
Read more from Nicola Eaton-Taylor
Nicola Eaton-Taylor, Leadership Therapist
With qualifications across Executive Leadership Coaching (ILM Level 7), HR Management (CIPD Level 5), and Health & Safety (NEBOSH), she understands the fundamental drivers of a successful, compliant, and engaged workforce. What sets Nicola apart is her deep expertise in NLP, Hypnotherapy, and holistic practices like yoga and breathwork. This powerful combination allows her to help businesses develop servant leaders who can effectively reduce workplace stress and sickness absence by prioritizing the human element. She is a specialist in coaching for HR professionals, empowering them to find inner peace and perform with purpose.
