10 Tips on How to Find More Calm and Ease Through Motherhood
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 15
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 16
Written by Heanney Banks, Founder, Breathwork Coach
Heanney is the founder of The Yana Method, a wellness app and community redefining maternal well-being through breathwork, mindfulness, and nervous system care. She helps mothers build resilience, restore calm, and reconnect with themselves.
Motherhood is both beautiful and brutal. It’s filled with deep love, constant giving, and moments that take your breath away, but it can also leave you depleted, overstimulated, and stretched far beyond your limits. As a mother of two and a breathwork and wellness coach, I know how easy it is to lose yourself in the noise of it all.
Most mothers I work with tell me, “I just need more time.”
But more time isn’t the answer. What we truly need is more nervous system support more ease, more calm, more tools that work in real life.
Breathwork is one of the simplest, most powerful tools available to mothers. It doesn’t require hours of silence or space. It just requires a pause and the willingness to meet yourself there.
What is breathwork?
Breathwork is the practice of using the breath intentionally to influence your mental, emotional, and physical state. It supports your nervous system, helps process stress, and builds resilience over time.
When you’re stressed, your breathing becomes short, shallow and rapid. This keeps your body in a state of fight-or-flight. Breathwork helps reverse this, signalling to your brain that you’re safe and can relax.
For mothers, whose days are often unpredictable and overstimulating, this kind of tool is invaluable. It’s portable, free, and always available to you.
What causes nervous system dysregulation in mothers?
Dysregulation happens when your nervous system becomes overwhelmed and stuck in a stress response. As a mum, it can feel like snapping over something small, withdrawing completely, or constantly rushing without being able to slow down.
Common causes of nervous system dysregulation in mothers include:
Sensory overload (noise, touch, clutter)
Sleep deprivation
Emotional labour and decision fatigue
Lack of alone time or rest
Unrealistic expectations and constant pressure to “do it all”
These stressors are cumulative. Left unaddressed, they leave us living in survival mode or what mums describe as ‘ on edge all the time’.
5 types of dysregulation that commonly show up in motherhood
Understanding what dysregulation looks like is the first step to shifting it. Here are five common patterns I see in both my clients and myself:
1. Overstimulation
You feel like everything is “too much” noise, questions, physical touch. Your nervous system is overloaded, and you want to escape.
Example: You’re trying to make dinner while your toddler is tugging on your leg, the baby is crying, and the TV is blaring. You suddenly want to scream, run, or shut down entirely.
2. Shutdown
You go emotionally numb or check out. You’re moving through the motions, but feel disconnected from yourself and your surroundings.
Example: You sit on the couch scrolling your phone while your child talks to you, but you can’t take in what they’re saying. Everything feels foggy, and even simple decisions feel hard.
3. Hypervigilance
You’re constantly scanning for problems or catastrophes. You can’t relax or let your guard down.
Example: Even when your child is asleep, you find yourself mentally running through worst-case scenarios, triple-checking the baby monitor, or feeling like something is always about to go wrong.
4. Emotional reactivity
You’re quick to yell, cry, or spiral into guilt. Small challenges feel like big explosions.
Example: Your child spills a cup of water, and you instantly shout, then feel intense guilt for overreacting. You wonder, “Why can’t I just stay calm?”
5. People-pleasing
You ignore your needs to keep the peace. You say yes when you mean no. Resentment builds quietly.
Example: You agree to host a playdate even though you’re exhausted, because you don’t want to let anyone down. Later, you feel drained and resentful, but tell yourself you’re just being selfish.
These are nervous system responses, not character flaws. And they can be shifted, gently, over time.
5 breathwork practices you can do anytime (except while driving)
Here are five simple, effective practices I teach inside The Yana Method. You can do them in the kitchen, while nursing, or hiding in the bathroom for a moment of peace.
1. The sigh
A powerful pattern interrupter.
How: Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth with an audible sigh. Repeat 3-5 times.
2. Box breathing
Balances and calms your nervous system.
How: Inhale for 4 counts → hold for 4 → exhale for 4 → hold for 4. Repeat for 2-3 minutes.
3. Extended Exhale
Shifts you out of fight-or-flight.
How: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6-8. Do this slowly, for several rounds.
4. Hands-on-heart reset
A self-soothing tool for overwhelm.
How: Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Take slow breaths and repeat silently, “I’m here. I’m safe.”
5. Three-part breath
Brings awareness back to your body.
How: Inhale into your belly → ribs, → chest. Exhale slowly. Repeat 3 times.
These aren’t about perfection. They’re about returning to yourself bit by bit, breath by breath.
Final thoughts
You don’t need to wait for a holiday or a perfect morning routine.
You don’t need to be alone or rested or “on top of everything.”
You just need your breath.
It’s the most underused and powerful form of self-care we have as mothers, our secret weapon.
By integrating breathwork into your day, even for 30 seconds, you build nervous system resilience. You model regulation for your children. You expand your capacity for connection.
And most importantly, you come home to yourself.
Read more from Heanney Banks
Heanney Banks, Founder, Breathwork Coach
Heanney, founder of The Yana Method, is a certified breathwork facilitator with over ten years of coaching women in wellness. Born from her own postnatal depression journey, her platform empowers mothers with breathwork, mindfulness, and community support. The Yana Method (You Are Not Alone) helps mums find calm, resilience, and connection, ensuring no mother feels alone.
