Written by Anne Wallen, Director and Founder of MaternityWise Intl Anne Wallen is a respected figure in women’s health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care, particularly for those at greatest risk. Becoming a mother should be a time of celebration, healing, and transformation, not a time of risk to life. Yet every year, far too many women die from preventable complications during pregnancy, childbirth, or postpartum. Maternal mortality remains a global health crisis, and while some countries have made impressive progress, others, like the United States, are seeing troubling trends. Let’s explore the top five leading causes of maternal death, compare how the U.S. differs from other nations in both causation and care, and discuss how these deaths can often be prevented with the right support systems, clinical practices, and community care. Maternal mortality: A global snapshot Globally, approximately 287,000 women die every year due to pregnancy-related causes (WHO, 2023). The majority of these deaths occur in low- and middle-income countries, often due to limited access to skilled care. But the United States, despite its wealth and medical technology, has one of the highest maternal mortality rates among high-income nations. According to the CDC, the U.S. maternal mortality rate was 32.9 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2021, with Black women experiencing rates, on average, nearly three times higher than white women. This does not include even higher statistics in places like New York City, where the maternal mortality rate for Black women includes estimates of up to nine times higher than white women. This is a complex issue rooted in healthcare access, systemic bias, and gaps in postpartum care. Top 5 leading causes of maternal mortality Let’s take a closer look at the main causes of maternal death, many of which are preventable or manageable with timely, respectful, and equitable care. 1. Hemorrhage (severe bleeding) What it is: Uncontrolled bleeding during or after childbirth, often from uterine atony (when the uterus doesn’t contract properly), retained placenta, or surgical complications. Global context: Hemorrhage is the leading cause of maternal death worldwide, especially in countries without access to emergency obstetric care or blood transfusions. In the U.S., hemorrhage remains a major cause, particularly in cases where warning signs are missed or treatment is delayed due to systemic issues or provider bias. Prevention strategies: Active, not aggressive, management based in patience and an understanding of the normal physiological process of the third stage of labor (for example, uterotonic medications like oxytocin). Often, premature pulling of the placenta can actually cause hemorrhage that then necessitates medication Delaying cord clamping and stopping the selling of placental and cord blood and tissue products Education for families so they know their rights and can reject procedures that endanger them or increase risk, even if those procedures are standard protocol in a profit-driven hospital system Access to and funding for doulas and home birth midwives, who are able to educate, advocate, and support, as well as provide frontline, in-person evaluation after patients are discharged home Proper training in emergency response Quick access to surgical teams and blood products Careful monitoring of uterine inversion and blood loss during postpartum, not just immediately after birth Reduction in non-medically necessary inductions, because the medications used to create contractions can overwhelm brain receptors, reducing or impairing the body’s natural ability to clamp down after birth 2. Hypertensive disorders (preeclampsia and eclampsia) What they are: Conditions involving high blood pressure during pregnancy, which can lead to seizures, stroke, organ failure, or placental abruption. Global context: Preeclampsia is responsible for 10-15% of maternal deaths worldwide and is a leading cause of preterm birth. In the U.S., rates of hypertensive disorders in pregnancy have risen. Racial disparities are stark, with Black women more likely to develop preeclampsia and less likely to receive early diagnosis and timely intervention. Prevention strategies: Routine blood pressure and urine checks throughout prenatal care Providing education on warning signs and supporting a mindset of personal responsibility for one’s own healthcare Nutritional education, as a large number of poor outcomes can be prevented with proper nourishment Access to foods and supplements free from chemicals, pesticides, and other harmful agents that disrupt the body’s ability to absorb nutrients Low-dose aspirin for high-risk pregnancies Early detection and treatment with antihypertensives Timely delivery if the condition becomes life-threatening 3. Infection (sepsis) What it is: Severe infections during or after childbirth can lead to sepsis, a life-threatening inflammatory response in the body. Global context: Infections are a major cause of maternal mortality in low-resource areas, often linked to poor hygiene, unsterile environments, or untreated UTIs and wound infections. In the U.S., maternal sepsis is often preventable but can progress rapidly if symptoms are ignored or mistaken for normal postpartum discomfort. Prevention strategies: Access to and funding for home birth midwives, where patients are safe at home and not delivering in environments with unfamiliar germ profiles Proper hygiene and sterile techniques in all delivery settings Education for families on early recognition of symptoms, such as fever, chills, rapid heartbeat, and unusual discharge Prompt antibiotics and supportive care Access to effective probiotics after antibiotics are given, for long-term protection against recurring infection 4. Cardiovascular conditions What they are: Heart-related complications, including peripartum cardiomyopathy, blood clots, and pre-existing cardiac disease worsened by pregnancy. Global context: In high-income countries, cardiovascular issues are now a leading cause of maternal death, especially as more women give birth later in life or with chronic conditions. In the U.S., cardiac-related deaths make up a significant portion of maternal mortality, particularly in the postpartum period. These deaths often stem from delayed diagnosis or inadequate follow-up. Prevention strategies: Preconception screening for high-risk women Individualized birth plans for those with heart conditions Access to doulas for support, education, and follow-up care Monitoring blood pressure, shortness of breath, and fatigue postpartum Stronger collaboration between midwives, OBs, and cardiologists Reducing and working to eliminate exposure to medications, chemicals, and vaccines known to cause cardiovascular issues, especially during pregnancy 5. Mental health and suicide What it is: Suicide and drug-related deaths are growing contributors to maternal mortality in some countries, particularly the U.S. Global context: Mental health is often underrecognized in maternal health conversations. Stigma, lack of screening, and poor access to perinatal mental healthcare contribute to unnecessary deaths. In the U.S., suicide and overdose have become leading causes of maternal death, especially in the postpartum period, up to one year after birth. These deaths often go uncounted if not directly linked to pregnancy. Prevention strategies: Routine mental health screening during and after pregnancy Access to midwives for all basic prenatal care, including initial screening for home delivery, which should be the starting point for care, even if transfer to a hospital is necessary later for high-risk births Access to doulas for educational and emotional support during the transition to parenthood as preventive care Required education in trauma-conscious care for all individuals who interact with pregnant, birthing, and postpartum patients Improved record keeping and statistical studies on mental, emotional, and psychological abuse and trauma during pregnancy, birth, and immediately after Accountability for providers with a history of causing trauma Culturally appropriate therapy and psychiatric care Doula and peer support models that provide emotional safety after experiences of abuse and trauma Consistent home care or in-patient couplet care, where mothers receive care with their babies present and do not have to seek support that harms the mother-infant attachment or causes further trauma. The goal is to prevent worsening mental health issues and make care more accessible, as finding childcare for a newborn can be prohibitive Accessible substance use treatment programs tailored specifically to mothers Why the U.S. is falling behind, and how we fix it While global progress has focused on improving access to skilled birth attendants and emergency care, the U.S. continues to struggle with systemic issues such as racial bias, fragmented care, insurance barriers, and a lack of postpartum support. Some key differences: Other countries offer universal postpartum home visits, extended parental leave, and midwifery-led continuity of care In contrast, U.S. postpartum visits often occur only once at six weeks, which is far too late to catch many complications Doulas are often not covered by insurance and are therefore viewed as luxury services rather than the life-saving care that statistical evidence demonstrates Implicit bias leads to providers dismissing pain or symptoms, especially in Black, Indigenous, and other women of color Solutions that save lives Preventing maternal deaths is not just about high-tech equipment or hospital settings. It is about listening to mothers, recognizing red flags early, and providing consistent, respectful care. Here’s what works: Midwives, doulas, and culturally matched providers offering holistic, continuous care Better training in recognizing complications for all birth workers Support and sustainable financial compensation for all birth workers Universal health coverage for prenatal and postpartum care Data tracking and accountability, especially regarding racial disparities, coercion, abuse, and trauma Empowering mothers with education about their rights, their bodies, and warning signs Maternal mortality should be rare and preventable. In many countries, it already is. Every mother deserves to survive childbirth and return home with her baby in her arms, not just in body, but in mind and spirit as well. With the right systems, respectful care, and community-based support, we can change the statistics and write a different story for mothers across the U.S. and around the world. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Anne Wallen Anne Wallen, Director and Founder of MaternityWise Intl Anne Wallen is a respected figure in women’s health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care, particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women's healthcare worldwide.

Written by Abisola Fagbiye, Customer Experience Strategist Abisola Fagbiye is a Customer Experience Strategist and Microsoft 365 Productivity Consultant with a Professional Diploma in CX from The CX Academy, Ireland. A WiCX member, she transforms how businesses connect with customers, turning interactions into drivers of loyalty and growth. Companies that invest in comprehensive training programs find that their income per employee is 218% higher than that of companies that don't. Recognizing this advantage can encourage organizations to appreciate their teams' growth and feel inspired to introduce these valuable initiatives. While many companies emphasize the importance of training, the actual sessions, such as orientations, compliance updates, and other resources, don't always quite live up to expectations. This often creates a gap between what businesses say about training and what they provide, which can help explain why many customer service teams might not be reaching their full potential. Closing this gap could really help unlock their actual abilities. Research from the Association for Talent Development shows that companies investing in comprehensive employee training programs achieve remarkable results: they earn 218% more per employee than those without structured training. These companies are also 17% more productive and 21% more profitable, showcasing the real benefits of investing in people. Additionally, LinkedIn Learning finds that an encouraging 93% of employees say that well-designed training programs significantly boost their engagement. On the other hand, Udemy's research shows that 59% of workers haven't had any formal workplace training, meaning they’re building their skills on their own. It's truly inspiring to see how powerful practical training can be, and it serves as a wonderful reminder of the importance of supporting every employee's growth and development. The training challenge is intensifying AI adoption means that humans are now mainly handling the most complex and emotionally charged interactions. Chatbots manage smaller questions, while routine transactions are handled through self-service options. When humans are involved, they need strong skills in empathy, problem-solving, and de-escalation, areas that many training programs still need to improve. As technology handles simpler tasks, humans need to focus on what's challenging. The skills that AI can’t replicate, like emotional intelligence, creative problem-solving, and nuanced judgment, become even more valuable. This shift highlights the importance of learning how AI is transforming the skills that human agents need the most. Learning doesn't happen how we think The 70-20-10 model wonderfully shows us the best way to learn: 70% through hands-on experience, 20% by sharing with colleagues, and just 10% through formal training. This means that although formal training can introduce key principles and frameworks, it's really our everyday work that puts them into practice and helps us solidify our understanding. Excellent training provides helpful frameworks that employees can use in real situations, creating mental models that steer their decisions. It also sets core principles that team members can interpret and adapt as needed, making learning a natural, continuous part of their work. Four training foundations matter most Having a good grasp of products and services is valuable, but it's even more effective when we focus on genuinely solving our customers' problems instead of just memorizing features. Agents really shine when they're dedicated to helping customers reach their goals, rather than merely reciting specifications. Offering training on processes helps everyone understand how our organization works, what systems we use, how to handle escalations, and what authority agents have. Strong communication skills turn knowledge into positive, memorable experiences for customers. Additionally, emotional intelligence training is key for navigating tricky situations, picking up on emotional cues, calming frustrated customers, and staying composed even when under pressure. Soft skills create competitive advantage While technical training grabs attention, it's just as important to focus on soft skills, which are sometimes overlooked. Missing out on these can impact the quality of customer service. Remember, empathy isn't something you just put into a script; it's something that grows from understanding customers' perspectives and practicing picking up on emotional cues. Problem-solving also shines when you think creatively. When regular methods don't quite work, agents need tools to develop innovative solutions. Communication styles vary by customer, because what soothes one person might upset another. Resilience is key to staying strong during tough interactions. Because customer service involves emotional effort, it's beneficial to include training that builds long-lasting coping strategies to support your team through challenging moments. Mentorship multiplies development Pairing new agents with experienced mentors truly enhances their skills and confidence. Mentors share valuable insights that go beyond formal training, offering practical tips about what works. They serve as role models by demonstrating effective behaviors that new agents can learn from simply by observing. It's a great idea to set up structured mentorship programs rather than leaving things to chance. Make sure to clearly define mentor responsibilities, schedule regular check-ins, and celebrate those who excel at mentoring. This approach creates a warm, supportive environment where everyone feels encouraged to grow and succeed. Make training continuous, not episodic Take a thoughtful approach to identifying skill gaps by using quality monitoring, customer feedback, and performance metrics. Focus your development efforts on key areas rather than generic content to keep training relevant. Create quick and accessible learning tools that agents can use for instant refreshers. Keep track of training success through customer satisfaction scores and performance improvements, helping everyone grow and improve steadily. AI is transforming training delivery AI-powered coaching provides quick support during customer conversations, helping agents feel more confident and capable. Research from MIT shows that support agents using AI tools often feel more empowered to deliver outstanding service. AI can analyze large volumes of customer interactions to identify training needs at scale, finding patterns that even human reviewers might overlook. Personalized learning paths can be customized to fit each agent's unique needs. As AI handles routine questions, the interactions that truly need a human touch will become more complex. This highlights the importance of training that prepares agents for these more demanding and challenging situations. A study from the University of Phoenix reveals that many workers believe they could advance more easily if their companies offered better opportunities for skill development. Proper training isn't just an operational necessity; it's a smart strategy for keeping talented people engaged and loyal. Understanding early warning signs can make a big difference in reducing turnover. Transform your customer service training overnight. "Kill the script: Human connection wins every time" shows how to develop the soft skills that AI can't replicate: empathy, creative problem-solving, and genuine human connection. This workshop combines research-backed methods with practical frameworks your team can implement immediately. You'll walk away with a complete training roadmap that builds capability, not just compliance. Book for your conference or leadership event , or email me . Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Abisola Fagbiye Abisola Fagbiye, Customer Experience Strategist Abisola Fagbiye is a Customer Experience Strategist and Microsoft 365 Productivity Consultant who helps organisations rethink engagement, build CX-driven cultures, and drive retention and growth. With global experience spanning SMBs to enterprises, she delivers workshops and training that blend strategy, energy, and actionable insight. She is a mentor and rising voice in CX leadership. Further reading: AI in Customer Service: How to Automate Without Losing the Human Touch How to Collect Customer Feedback and Actually Do Something with It How to Stop Customers from Leaving Before They Decide to Go

Written by Steven Thistle, Trauma Recovery and Mental Wellness Specialist Steven Thistle is a trauma recovery and mental wellness specialist, as well as the founder of the Consciously Healing Method. He helps individuals heal trauma-related symptoms and unconscious patterns using his Twelve Golden Keys framework. I want to begin with words that are rarely spoken sincerely at a civilizational level. I’m sorry. I say this as an American citizen, not as a representative of power, policy, or ideology, but as a human being who has lived inside the very pathology now unfolding across the world. This apology is directed primarily toward Europe, though it applies globally. I am called an American, yet my genetics are European, Swedish, Irish, English, Austrian, no different from millions whose ancestors crossed oceans and renamed themselves. This is not an identity claim, but an illustration of the illusion itself. We divide by borders, labels, and even the tools we create, mistaking them for objective reality. Artificial intelligence will be created in our image because the ego projects identifications of self, individually and collectively, that we mistake for reality. These identities are illusory, each of us carries different versions of self, none of which reflects reality directly, but rather mental constructs we call real. AI will mirror our beliefs, which are often biased and shaped by countless human factors, none of which represent reality itself. From the day I was born, my life unfolded inside the same dynamic humanity now faces, being forced to adapt to a profoundly sick individual and system while being told that the sickness is normal, and that questioning it makes you the problem. That is my qualification. I did not study this from a distance. I survived it. Living within a severely disordered relational system rewires the mind. Truth becomes dangerous. Accountability is punished. The abuser must be protected, while the harm they cause is minimized, reframed, or denied. Survival requires adaptation, and adaptation slowly becomes identity. Eventually, pathology is called “just the way things are.” This is precisely what humanity is doing now, collectively. The crisis we face seems external only because generations of unacknowledged and unconscious internal trauma remain unhealed. Its roots are internal, psychological, and universal. The real problem is not nations, borders, or ideologies. It is our inability to stop identifying as separate selves rather than as an integrated whole. Capitalism and consumerism did not create this fracture, but they have amplified it, constructing an entire civilization around I am: I am my status. I am my productivity. I am my beliefs. I am my nation. I am right. When ego identity is threatened, it does not self-reflect, it defends. It will go to war with reality itself to preserve its self-image, even when that image is only partially actual, even when defending it destroys the whole. We now live in a world where illusions, individual and collective, are defended more fiercely than life. In 2024, eleven countries spent $2.7 trillion on defense, not against an alien enemy, but against ourselves, the consequences of unexamined trauma, disordered thinking, and ego identification magnified to a civilizational scale. Applying the Sixth Golden Key in Mind Surgery, Challenge Beliefs Using a Magic Wand, shows that seeing things differently often uncovers truths we avoid. Imagine if we spent that $2.7 trillion on humanity instead, mental health, education, and citizen welfare, as some of the world’s most successful nations do, even while maintaining defense budgets. We do not lack intelligence. We do not lack resources. We do not lack technology. What we lack is the courage to address the root cause, mental health, not as an afterthought or a label for the marginalized, but as the foundational infrastructure of a functional society. Instead, we normalize sickness and adapt to it. We blame, shame, marginalize, subjugate, and suppress. We lie, cheat, steal, and rationalize. We build weapons and narratives rather than understanding. We create enemies so we do not have to face ourselves. This is narcissism at scale. As in any abusive system, dysfunction is protected while truth-tellers are punished. Those who name the illness are labeled dangerous. Those who refuse the illusion are cast out. Each generation inherits unresolved trauma disguised as culture, tradition, or patriotism. Humanity stands at the brink not because we are inherently evil, but because we remain collectively delusional about the source of our suffering. We are the problem, and therefore, we are also the solution. The ego’s unwavering I AM has fractured us into competing identities, markets, and nations, all fighting for dominance rather than coherence. Yet every one of us is here for the same reason, to love and to prosper. That cannot be achieved individually. Love is relational. Prosperity is collective. Healing is systemic. No individual can be well in a sick society. No nation can be secure in a traumatized world. No amount of military power can protect us from the consequences of untreated psychological wounds. Until we stop defending ourselves from ourselves, engaging in collective self-destruction, and start addressing the roots of human behavior, we will continue reenacting the same tragedy under new flags, new technologies, and new justifications. So, this is my apology, and my warning. I’m sorry that we exported our unresolved ego and called it leadership. I’m sorry that we normalized pathology and armed it. I’m sorry that we chose identity over truth, defense over healing, and domination over understanding. But I am not without hope. Because the moment a pattern is recognized is the moment it can end. Truth heals illusion. Awareness dissolves ego. And we have always been stronger than I am. Follow me on Instagram  for more info! Read more from Steven Thistle Steven Thistle, Trauma Recovery and Mental Wellness Specialist Steve Thistle is a specialist in trauma recovery, mental wellness, and narcissistic abuse healing. Drawing on personal experience and decades of study, he developed the Consciously Healing Method, a structured approach to resolving trauma at its roots. Through his Twelve Golden Keys framework, he guides clients in re-framing false beliefs, releasing toxic somatic energy, and restoring emotional balance. Steve has helped hundreds overcome patterns that traditional therapy often overlooks, offering a practical and empowering path to lasting healing. He is passionate about making trauma recovery accessible and transformative, combining insight, empathy, and proven methods.

Some careers are planned early. Others are built one decision at a time. Amatullah Kapadia’s career falls into the second category. Her path into data engineering did not start with a computer science degree or a clear roadmap. It started with curiosity, persistence, and a willingness to teach herself skills she did not yet have. Today, she works as a Data Engineer after moving through environmental engineering, oil and gas, consulting, and big tech. Her story is not about shortcuts. It is about taking ideas seriously and following them through. Early life and education: Learning how to think Amatullah Kapadia  grew up in India and moved to Canada at the age of 13. That move shaped how she learned to adapt early on. She later attended the University of Waterloo, where she earned a Bachelor of Applied Science in Environmental Engineering. At the time, she did not see engineering as a direct path into technology. What it gave her instead was a way of thinking. “Undergrad offered a frame of thought and logic,” she says. “I didn’t realize how valuable that would become later.” While many classmates pursued internships, Kapadia never landed one during school. That experience stayed with her, but it also pushed her to look for other ways to stand out. Rather than waiting for opportunities, she began building skills on her own. Teaching herself a new skill set Without an internship or a tech background, Kapadia started learning programming independently. She focused on understanding how data systems worked and how information could be structured and analyzed at scale. It was not easy, and it was not fast. “My career is entirely self taught,” she says. “I had to learn programming and how to work with large amounts of data from scratch.” She used the logic she developed in engineering school to guide her learning. Over time, those skills became practical tools rather than abstract concepts. She wasn’t trying to become an expert overnight. She was trying to become capable. Moving to Houston and entering the workforce In 2018, Kapadia moved to Houston and began working in the oil and gas industry. The work exposed her to real-world data problems and large systems that needed structure and clarity. It was a practical testing ground for the skills she had been building. She later transitioned to Accenture, where she worked in a large consulting environment. There, she saw how data engineering supported decision-making across organizations. From Accenture, she moved on to Amazon, where she continues to work as a Data Engineer. Each step built on the last. None of it felt sudden to her. “I didn’t jump industries,” she says. “I built my way into them.” How ideas turned into career momentum Kapadia’s progress came from small ideas she followed through on. Learning one programming concept led to another. Taking notes led to better understanding. Saying no to things that didn’t work made space for things that did. “I write things down,” she says. “That’s how I think clearly.” She journals regularly and uses writing to reflect on her work and decisions. That habit has helped her stay grounded while navigating a demanding field. It also helped her recognize when something was no longer useful. “I’m not a perfectionist,” she says. “If something isn’t working or isn’t enjoyable, stopping is still a success.” Defining success on her own terms Kapadia measures success internally rather than by external milestones. She is not driven by titles or comparison. She focuses on whether her work feels complete and honest. “My own standards matter most,” she says. “If I’m satisfied with the result, that’s enough.” This mindset has helped her avoid burnout and stay curious. It also allows her to keep experimenting. Outside of work, she explores hands-on hobbies like sewing, needlework, and cooking. These activities balance her technical work and reinforce her belief that learning should stay human. Contribution through consistency, not hype Kapadia does not frame herself as a disruptor or visionary. Her contribution comes from consistency. By showing that self-directed learning can lead to real roles in demanding industries, she offers a quiet example of what is possible. “I never had a perfect plan,” she says. “I just kept going.” Her work reflects a broader shift in how careers are built today. Skills change quickly. Curiosity and persistence last longer. Kapadia’s career shows how ideas, when acted on steadily, can shape both opportunity and direction. Kapadia continues to write, learn, and refine her work. She remains focused on peace of mind and steady growth rather than chasing the next milestone. “Learning doesn’t stop once you land a role,” she says. “That’s when it really starts.” Her story is a reminder that meaningful careers are often built quietly. One idea. One skill. One decision at a time.

Written by Karmen Fairall, Speech Pathologist, Reflective Practitioner Karmen Fairall is a Speech Pathologist and reflective practitioner exploring sustainable leadership, boundaries, and wellbeing in helping professions. Drawing on lived experience, faith-informed values, and professional insight, she writes to support people who serve others in demanding roles. Late one night this week, feeling overwhelmed and trying to make sense of it all, I found myself typing a question into ChatGPT that felt heavier than I expected: What’s wrong with me? The response that came back surprised me, and yet, in hindsight, it really shouldn’t have. Rather than jumping to conclusions, it gently asked why I was asking. Then it reflected something back to me that felt uncomfortably accurate. Based on what it already “knew”, a season of broken sleep and early motherhood demands, major business changes, high emotional stress, and an unrelenting mental load, it suggested that I wasn’t necessarily failing or malfunctioning. I was experiencing extreme cognitive load. That sentence stopped me in my tracks. Not because it explained everything, but because it named something I had been quietly avoiding: perhaps I wasn’t broken. Perhaps I was simply overloaded. My husband had been saying something similar for months. But sometimes it takes a non-emotional, non-invested mirror to help us wake up to our own reality. When life accelerates without permission Often, it takes the extremes of life to reveal what we’ve been carrying for far too long. The COVID-19 pandemic was one such moment. I don’t recall anyone saying, “Wow, I really could have crammed more into my days before lockdown.” Instead, many of us became aware, perhaps for the first time, of just how many small, unexamined tasks we had been squeezing into our lives without intention or alignment with our values. I remember vowing that when life returned to “normal,” I would live more slowly and more intentionally. And yet here I am, years later, feeling as though I’m trying to keep pace with a life that’s moving faster than ever before. The invisible weight of cognitive load In this season, I hold multiple roles that matter deeply to me, such as Speech Pathologist, business owner, wife, and mum to two preschool-aged boys. By nature and by profession, I am a carer, nurturer, clinician, and helper. What’s often overlooked in these roles is the invisible mental work that underpins them, the constant planning, anticipating, remembering, organising, and decision-making that happens quietly in the background. Research on maternal wellbeing consistently shows that this kind of cognitive or mental load falls disproportionately on mothers and is strongly associated with stress, burnout, and reduced wellbeing. International studies have demonstrated that when this invisible load increases, so too do levels of psychological strain and exhaustion, particularly in seasons of young children and disrupted sleep. When layered with emotional responsibility and professional demands, this cognitive load compounds quickly. The cost of high standards in serving roles I’ve come to appreciate personality and strengths frameworks not as boxes, but as mirrors that invite greater self-understanding. According to Myers-Briggs, I’m an ISFJ. On the Enneagram, I’m a Type 1, the Reformer. This means I’m wired not only to notice needs, but to feel a deep responsibility to address them, to do things well, ethically, and properly. I carry strong internal standards and a persistent inner drive toward improvement. These qualities serve me well professionally. But when paired with constant cognitive load and limited recovery, they also make it difficult to slow down, because doing things well can quietly begin to matter more than being well. For those with strong internal standards, burnout doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes it looks like relentless self-correction within an already overloaded system. When serving starts to hurt Burnout isn’t just a feeling or a buzzword. It is recognised internationally as a real occupational phenomenon. The World Health Organization defines burnout as a syndrome resulting from chronic, unmanaged workplace stress, characterised by exhaustion, mental distancing, and reduced professional effectiveness. Helping professions, including healthcare and allied health, consistently report higher rates of burnout than many other fields. Global research indicates that prolonged emotional demand, high responsibility, and limited opportunities for recovery significantly increase vulnerability to chronic stress in these roles. This stress doesn’t remain confined to the mind. Prolonged activation of the stress response has well-documented physiological effects, including fatigue, immune suppression, and an increased risk of illness. Often, the body speaks when the mind refuses to listen. In my own experience, pushing through without pause eventually led to my body enforcing a stop I hadn’t chosen. A sudden and unexpected three-day hospital stay became the moment when it was no longer possible to ignore the cost of sustained overextension. Serving others was never the problem. Serving without limits was. A different question to ask Before we rush to ask what might be “wrong” with us, there is another, gentler question worth asking, "What is this season asking me to notice?" For many helpers, clinicians, leaders, and parents, the answer isn’t another productivity tool or coping strategy. It is an honest reckoning with capacity, and a willingness to acknowledge that sustainability matters. Two practices for overloaded helpers Baseline practice: Audit your cognitive load, not your character For one day, write down everything you are holding mentally, tasks, decisions, worries, and responsibilities. Not to optimise it, but to see it. Then ask: Is this sustainable? Is this shared? Is this truly mine to carry right now? Awareness often brings compassion before change. Reaching practice: Establish one boundary that protects your body Choose a single, non-negotiable boundary that serves your physical or emotional recovery. This might look like prioritising sleep, reducing decision-making, or stepping back from one role or commitment. Boundaries are not acts of selfishness. They are acts of stewardship, of your health, your family, and your capacity to serve well over time. A final reflection Perhaps the most important shift is this, moving from self-judgement to self-honesty. Before we ask what might be wrong with us, we might instead ask, "What would it look like to pursue excellence without self-erasure, and to recognise that rest, too, is part of doing things well?" Sometimes, the most faithful response isn’t to push harder, but to listen more closely. Continue the conversation I’m currently in a season of slowing down and exploring how faith, frameworks, and reflective practice can support more sustainable leadership and service, particularly in helping professions. If this reflection resonated with you, I invite you to stay connected and follow my journey on LinkedIn, where I’ll continue to share insights as this work develops. Follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Karmen Fairall Karmen Fairall, Speech Pathologist, Reflective Practitioner Karmen Fairall is a Speech Pathologist and business owner with experience across allied health, service-based leadership, and caregiving roles. Her writing explores burnout, cognitive load, boundaries, and sustainable leadership in helping professions. In this season, she is intentionally slowing down to reflect on how faith, frameworks, and systems can support healthier ways of serving others. Through her work, she seeks to help people lead and live with clarity, compassion, and care.

Written by Amy Kelly, Strategic Life and Business Coach Amy Kelly is a Breakthrough & Confidence Coach, the founder of The Dreamy Reset Life, helping young women rebuild after heartbreak or burnout and design a life rooted in self-worth, freedom, and a bold vision for a future they truly love. Feeling stuck despite having a life that "works"? The January blues aren't just about the weather. They're often your body's signal that survival mode has replaced living. Discover why alignment feels impossible when you're dysregulated, and three practical anchors to help you move from functioning to thriving. What does it mean to feel "fine" but not alive? There's a particular heaviness that settles in around January. It's not about grey skies or post-holiday comedown. It's the weight of waking up in a life that technically works but doesn't feel like yours anymore. You've checked the boxes. Built the business. Showed up for everyone. And when someone asks how you're doing, you smile and say, "I'm fine." But fine is exhausting. Fine is what we say when everything looks good on paper but feels hollow. Fine is what we say when we've been running on autopilot for so long that we've forgotten what genuine excitement feels like. I hear it constantly, "I have no clarity on what I want." "I'm not consistent anymore." "I always put others first and don't know who I am." If this sounds familiar, know that emotional crash isn't personal failure. It's the natural consequence of running on high-functioning survival mode for too long. The January blues are just the messenger. Why the January blues hit high-achievers hardest January is paradoxical for women who've spent years building impressive lives. You're supposed to feel motivated and ready for new goals. Instead, you're coming off a year of overextending, over-giving, and over-functioning. The crash happens because you finally have permission to slow down, and your nervous system seizes that opportunity to show you just how exhausted it really is. Research on burnout shows our bodies can only maintain high-stress functioning for so long before demanding recalibration. This is why capable, accomplished women find themselves feeling numb or lost in January. Your system is saying, "We can't keep doing this. Something needs to change." Why alignment feels impossible when you're dysregulated Here's the truth, you cannot think clearly about your life vision or tap into your self-worth when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode. Survival mode is a physiological state where your body prioritizes immediate safety over long-term planning or creativity. When you're in this state, your prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for decision-making, goes offline. Your amygdala takes over, keeping you in fight, flight, or freeze mode. This is why vision board exercises feel impossible right now. It's not because you lack ambition. Your body doesn't feel safe enough to access the part of your brain that dreams. What survival mode actually looks like Survival mode doesn't always look dramatic. It often looks like: Going through the motions while feeling emotionally flat Struggling to make even simple decisions Being unable to imagine the future Experiencing brain fog Saying yes when you mean no Scrolling mindlessly to numb out Women describe it as, "Everything is technically working, but I feel so empty inside." Let me be clear, you are not broken. Your nervous system is prioritizing survival over strategy. That's wisdom, not weakness. The myth of the "dream life" pressure in January January is full of pressure. Everywhere you look, someone is launching their "new year, new you" program, insisting you need your entire life mapped out by February. But telling an exhausted woman to "just dream bigger" is like handing a vision board to someone mid-breakdown. It's harmful. It deepens shame and makes you feel like you're failing at something everyone else finds easy. The real reset doesn't start with a five-year plan. It starts with regulation, then reconnection, then reinvention. In that order. What true alignment actually requires Alignment isn't a single moment of clarity. It's a process of coming back to yourself in layers. First comes regulation. Getting your nervous system out of survival mode so you can think clearly. Then comes reconnection. Reestablishing contact with the version of yourself who knows what she actually wants, not what she's supposed to want. Finally comes reinvention. Making aligned choices from a regulated, connected state. Most programs skip straight to reinvention and wonder why clients struggle. You can't build a sustainable life on a dysregulated foundation. Three practical anchors for women who feel lost right now 1. Create safety before strategy Your body needs to feel safe before your mind can access creativity or clarity. This isn't optional, it's biological. Build small rituals that signal you're allowed to slow down: Morning body scan: Spend five minutes noticing what you're feeling without trying to fix it. This rebuilds the mind-body connection severed in survival mode. Digital detox evenings: Be offline by 8 pm at least three nights weekly. Constant screen input keeps your nervous system activated. Weekly non-negotiable: Schedule one activity purely for pleasure. Dancing, a bath with a novel, sitting in a coffee shop, anything with no purpose beyond enjoyment. These aren't luxuries. They're the foundation of everything else. 2. Name your needs out loud One of the most radical things you can do is speak your needs without apologizing. Try this now. Say out loud, "I don't want to do this alone anymore." Or, "I need space to be heard without judgment." Or, "I want to stop performing and start being real." Notice what happens in your body. Does your throat tighten? Does your chest open? These responses show how long you've been suppressing these needs. Simply naming what you need, even before knowing how to get it, breaks the spell of "fine." Practice naming needs: Connection: "I need to feel seen and understood." Space: "I need time alone without guilt." Support: "I can't keep doing everything myself." Authenticity: "I need to stop pretending." Rest: "I need to stop equating worth with productivity." 3. Break up with fine Ask honest, uncomfortable questions and let answers be messy. What is the cost of staying comfortable right now? Not in five years, today. What is it costing you emotionally, physically, and relationally to keep saying you're fine? What does thriving actually look like for me? Not what it looked like at 25. Not what it looks like for influencers. What does your version of fully alive feel like? If I had permission to want more, what would I choose? More ease, joy, connection, creative expression, adventure, stillness? Give yourself permission to want something different. Why you don't need a five-year plan right now The self-help industry says transformation requires detailed roadmaps and perfect clarity. But this backfires for women in survival mode. When you're dysregulated, trying to plan five years out is like navigating in the dark. You're guessing based on what you think you should want rather than what you actually want. Instead, give yourself: Permission to not know. Clarity comes from action, not thinking harder. Permission to want more. Your internal experience matters more than external appearances. Permission to start with baby steps. The most powerful transformation often starts with one small aligned choice. Permission to change your mind. What you want may shift as you regulate and reconnect. That's growth, not failure. This is the year you stop performing and start becoming The journey from fine to fully alive doesn't require having it all figured out. It requires being honest about where you are, compassionate about how you got here, and brave enough to take one aligned step. You didn't optimize your way into burnout, and you won't optimize your way out. This is about coming home to yourself, your actual desires, needs, and values. Women who successfully move from fine to fully alive share one thing. They stopped waiting for perfect clarity and started taking imperfect action. They regulated first, reconnected second, and only then began reinvention. Start your journey from fine to fully alive If this article landed in your heart, you're not alone, and you don't have to figure this next chapter out on your own. Join The Reset Confidential, my weekly love letter for women who are done performing, done shrinking, and finally ready to come home to themselves. Every week, you'll get real tools, honest reflections, and gentle guidance to help you move from survival mode to self-trust, one grounded step at a time. Subscribe here now and let your reset begin . Follow me on Facebook ,   Instagram,   LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Amy Kelly Amy Kelly , Strategic Life and Business Coach Amy Kelly is a Life Coach and guide who created The Dreamy Reset Life a transformational platform for Women navigating heartbreak, burnout or major life transitions. After experiencing early divorce and personal reinvention through global travel and deep self-healing, Amy now helps Women reclaim their identity and confidence. Her signature Reset-To-Rise method guides clients to emotional clarity, empowered vision, and freedom-filled lives they are truly in love with. Her mission is to help every young woman recognize her worth, rebuild confidence from the inside out, and boldly chase the life of her dreams.

Written by Osvaldo Cooley, PhD, Dermal Clinician & Body Contouring Specialist Dr. Osvaldo Cooley, PhD, is an expert in body transformation, metabolic performance, and longevity. As the founder of The Elite Hub, Dr Os helps high-performing individuals achieve visible, lasting results through advanced diagnostics, personalised recovery strategies, and specialised body contouring therapies. In endurance sport, most athletes believe performance is built by pushing harder, increasing volume, or raising intensity. Yet when we look at elite performers, those who race fast, recover well, and remain competitive for decades, a different pattern emerges. They are not simply stronger or fitter. They are more economical . Movement economy is one of the most powerful, and most misunderstood, determinants of endurance performance. It explains why two athletes with similar VO₂ max values can produce vastly different race outcomes. What is movement economy? Movement economy refers to how much energy an athlete expends to maintain a given speed or workload. In other words, it measures how efficiently the body converts metabolic energy into forward motion. An athlete with good movement economy uses less oxygen, produces less waste, and experiences less physiological stress at the same pace compared to a less economical athlete. This is why efficiency, not effort, ultimately determines endurance success. Why Vo₂ max alone is not enough VO₂ max represents the size of the engine. Movement economy determines how efficiently that engine is used. In metabolic testing, it is common to see athletes with high VO₂ max scores but poor movement economy. These athletes often feel strong early in races but fade later, struggle with pacing, and accumulate fatigue quickly. Elite endurance athletes, by contrast, often win races not by having the highest VO₂ max, but by wasting the least energy per stride, pedal stroke, or step. The metabolic cost of inefficiency Poor movement economy increases the metabolic cost of exercise. This leads to: Higher heart rate at submaximal intensities Faster glycogen depletion Earlier transition from fat to carbohydrate metabolism Increased ventilatory demand Accelerated fatigue Over time, inefficiency compounds. Every unnecessary movement, postural collapse, or loss of rhythm increases energy expenditure, especially in long events such as trail races, ultramarathons, and obstacle races. The role of strength and stability Movement economy is not purely cardiovascular. It is heavily influenced by neuromuscular efficiency, strength balance, and postural control. Weak stabilisers, poor trunk control, or inefficient force transfer cause energy leaks. The body compensates by recruiting additional muscles, increasing oxygen demand without producing more speed. This is why strength training, when done intelligently, improves endurance performance rather than slowing athletes down. Economy under fatigue One of the most revealing aspects of movement economy is how it changes under fatigue. Many athletes move well early in sessions but deteriorate as fatigue accumulates. Posture collapses, stride length shortens, breathing becomes chaotic, and energy expenditure rises. Elite athletes maintain efficient movement patterns even when tired. This is not accidental. It is trained. Improving movement economy Movement economy improves through a combination of: Consistent Zone 2 training to stabilise technique at low stress Strength training to improve force application and joint stability Breathing coordination to reduce unnecessary tension Technical awareness during long sessions Fatigue-resistant neuromuscular training Importantly, economy does not improve by simply “trying harder.” It improves through deliberate, low-ego practice. The longevity advantage Efficient athletes place less cumulative stress on their joints, cardiovascular system, and nervous system. Over years of training, this translates to reduced injury risk, better recovery, and an extended athletic lifespan. In endurance sport, efficiency is the bridge between performance and longevity. Efficiency is the silent advantage The fastest athletes are not always the ones working the hardest. They are the ones wasting the least. When athletes shift their focus from output to efficiency, training becomes more sustainable, performance becomes more repeatable, and results follow naturally. Understanding your movement economy requires more than subjective observation. At The Elite Hub, advanced VO₂ max and mobility testing allow us to quantify efficiency, identify energy leaks, and design training strategies that optimise performance without unnecessary strain. Because in endurance sport, the goal is not to do more. It is to do better. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Osvaldo Cooley, PhD Osvaldo Cooley, PhD, Dermal Clinician & Body Contouring Specialist Dr. Osvaldo Cooley, PhD, is a leading expert in body transformation, metabolic performance, and longevity. A former athlete, his promising career was cut short by injuries that sparked a passion for understanding recovery and performance optimisation. Drawing from his personal journey and extensive research, Dr. Os developed proven techniques to help men and women transform their bodies, improve fitness, and boost long-term health. As the founder of The Elite Hub, he empowers high-performing individuals to achieve visible, lasting results through advanced diagnostics and personalised strategies.

Written by Bob Thompson, Founder of Ideas-Shared Bob Thompson is the founder of Ideas-Shared, the Ambition Operating System for individuals (16+), informal teams, and organisations of all types looking to overcome adversity and seize opportunities with people they know and those they've yet to meet. Most meaningful change begins quietly. With one person thinking, this isn’t okay. This could be better. Why does nobody fix this? A frustration. A problem. A concern. A question. A hope. But in today’s world, those moments rarely go anywhere. People vent on social media. Argue in comment threads. Sign petitions. Attend meetings. Wait for permission. And despite the noise, nothing really moves. Not because people don’t care, but because they’re fragmented and uncoordinated. Over time, I began to see that the problem wasn’t a lack of intelligence, compassion, or willingness. The problem was structural. We simply don’t have a practical, accessible way for ordinary people to turn concern into coordinated action. That realisation led to the creation of Ideas Shared. The missing layer: Infrastructure for agency Ideas Shared isn’t a social media platform. It isn’t a forum. It isn’t a place for hot takes or performance. It’s designed as infrastructure for collective agency. A calm, structured space where people bring real things: Problems Frustrations Questions Ambitions Lived experience Solutions And deliberately add their voice, insight, skills, support, and effort to what matters. Some come to stop something harmful. Some come to make others aware. Some come to build something better. The platform doesn’t dictate the agenda. It doesn’t prescribe the answers. It doesn’t control the direction. What happens next emerges from the people involved. The power of emergence This is the part most platforms get wrong. They assume intelligence sits at the top. Those solutions must be designed by experts. That direction should be centrally controlled. Reality is the opposite. When people bring lived experience, professional knowledge, practical skill, and genuine concern into the same structured space, something powerful happens: Patterns become visible. Better ideas surface. Natural leadership emerges. Momentum forms. The “how” isn’t imposed. It emerges. The answers aren’t owned by the platform. They are the gift of the people involved. This is how individual concern becomes collective intelligence. And collective intelligence becomes coordinated action. Why scale changes everything Alone, your concern is easy to ignore. Shared by hundreds, it becomes visible. Shared by thousands, it gains weight. Shared by millions, it becomes impossible to dismiss. This isn’t about popularity. It’s about resonance. Resonance signals that something genuinely matters to many people. And when enough people deliberately align behind the same issue, direction, pressure, and progress naturally follow. That’s collective power, not in a political sense, but in a human one. What this changes at every level At an individual level, it restores agency. You’re no longer shouting into the void. You’re contributing to something that can grow. At a professional level, it restores meaning. Your insight doesn’t sit in a document or die in a meeting. It compounds with others and shapes outcomes. At a societal level, it restores coordination. Instead of fragmentation, there is structure. Instead of noise, there is direction. Not controlled. Not engineered. Facilitated. The quiet truth behind it all People don’t need more platforms telling them what to think. They don’t need louder voices. They don’t need more outrage. They need: A place where they’re taken seriously A way to connect with others who care A structure that turns concern into progress A sense that their participation actually matters That’s the infrastructure we’ve been missing. A simple invitation You don’t need status. You don’t need followers. You don’t need permission. You don’t need the answers. You can start with honesty. With experience. With something that genuinely matters to you. If you care enough to engage thoughtfully and constructively, you already belong in this kind of space. Because real change has never come from platforms. It has always come from people when the right conditions exist. Perhaps the real work now is simply building those conditions. Follow me on Facebook , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Bob Thompson Bob Thompson, Founder of Ideas-Shared Bob Thompson is the founder of Ideas-Shared, an Ambition Operating System for individuals (16+), informal teams, and organisations of all types looking to overcome adversity and seize opportunities with people they know and those they've yet to meet. After watching the world grow polarised, he made it his mission to change how the world works together. His Ambition Operating System helps people declare ambitions, develop ideas, overcome frustrations, fix problems, and more using 19 everyday activities that deliver measurable outcomes when completed. Bob empowers humanity to take real action on personal and professional goals.

Written by Tara Polley, Realtor and Television Host Tara Polley is a Telly Award-winning TV host, media strategist, and national speaker with 25+ years of experience in luxury real estate, branding, and storytelling. She helps professionals grow their visibility with clarity, creativity, and an upcoming TEDx Talk on purposeful leadership. Every few years, culture reaches backward to move forward. Right now, we are watching a subtle but powerful shift across media and social platforms. There is a collective pull toward 2016, not because it was perfect, but because it carried a feeling many people miss. Optimism. Momentum. A sense that life was opening rather than contracting. At first, this shows up digitally. Softer filters. Familiar music. A more relaxed aesthetic. But beneath the surface, something deeper is happening. That nostalgia is influencing how people think about home. As someone who works at the intersection of media, storytelling, and real estate, I see it clearly. Cultural memory is shaping housing choices in real and measurable ways. Nostalgia is not about the past, it is about safety Nostalgia is often dismissed as sentimentality. In reality, it is a psychological response to uncertainty. When the world feels volatile or overstimulated, people gravitate toward environments that feel grounding. For many, 2016 represents a time when life felt more navigable. Cities felt accessible. Social connection felt easier. Work felt expansive rather than compressed. Buyers are not trying to recreate a year. They are trying to recreate a state of being. Housing is one of the few places where people still feel control. That makes it the natural outlet for this shift. Design is moving away from impressive and back toward livable For years, residential design prioritized impact. High contrast finishes. Ultra-modern lines. Spaces designed to photograph well rather than live well. That preference is changing. Buyers are responding to homes that feel warm, layered, and intuitive. Natural materials. Softer palettes. Floor plans that support daily rhythms instead of constant entertaining. Indoor outdoor spaces that feel casual rather than curated. These preferences echo the mid 2010s, when homes were designed to support real life instead of performing for an audience. This is not a step backward. It is a recalibration. People are less interested in how a home looks online and more interested in how it feels on a Tuesday morning. Neighborhoods are being chosen for identity, not status The same shift is happening at the neighborhood level. In the mid 2010s, there was strong momentum toward walkable districts, mixed-use communities, and places where daily life unfolded organically. You could walk to coffee. You recognized people. Community did not require effort. That memory matters now. Buyers are asking different questions. Does this neighborhood feel alive during the week? Can I picture myself here long term? Does this place have a rhythm that feels human? Prestige still matters, but it is no longer enough on its own. Buyers are prioritizing continuity, identity, and emotional familiarity. They want places that feel rooted, not anonymous. Investment decisions are becoming more emotionally intelligent This shift is not limited to primary residences. It is influencing investment behavior as well. High net worth buyers still analyze data, but they are increasingly drawn to properties that feel timeless rather than trendy. Neighborhoods with a strong sense of place. Architecture that holds cultural consistency. Homes that tell a story rather than chase novelty. In uncertain markets, emotional clarity becomes part of risk management. Properties that feel grounded are perceived as more resilient, even when they are not the newest or flashiest option available. What this means for the future of housing This moment is not about reverting to the past. It is about integrating what worked emotionally and socially, and letting go of what felt performative or exhausting. The homes and neighborhoods that will hold long-term value are those that support human-scaled living, emotional familiarity, and a clear sense of place. Housing has never been just shelter or investment. It is a reflection of how people want to live when the noise quiets down. Right now, people are choosing homes that feel like an exhale. Final thought In fast-moving markets, it is tempting to chase whatever is next. But the most intelligent decisions, in media and in real estate, often come from paying attention to what people are quietly returning to. Not because it is old. But because it felt right. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tara Polley Tara Polley, Realtor and Television Host Tara Polley is a Telly Award-winning television host, media strategist, and national speaker with over 25 years of experience in storytelling, branding, and luxury real estate. As a host on The American Dream TV, an Emmy-nominated lifestyle show, she brings California Wine Country to a national audience through cinematic, narrative-driven content. Tara has a TEDx Talk upcoming and is known for her dynamic keynote appearances that blend emotional intelligence with actionable strategy. As a proven thought-leader, she helps professionals amplify their message, lead with integrity and authenticity, and build meaningful visibility across media platforms.

Written by Julia Elstrodt, Psychotherapist Julia Elstrodt is an Ivy League-educated psychotherapist who helps people overcome trauma, reconnect with joy, and find wholeness. She works in private practice and in collaboration with charities supporting survivors of domestic violence, modern slavery, and other forms of gender-based violence. We all experience trauma, it is part of human existence. Nobody goes through this life unscathed. In a work that revolves around asking questions, one question comes to mind often, why do some of us perpetuate trauma while others dedicate themselves to healing and breaking cycles? After experiencing abuse, for instance, why do some people become abusers while others become deeply compassionate? Is there a genetic factor? Is it a disposition we are born with? Can it be a conscious decision? The difference is not what happened to us From what I have observed in both my work and personal experience, there is one key factor that differentiates the two, humility. As my greatest teacher would say, we have to learn to bend the knee. When we are in deep pain, we operate in survival mode. In this heightened state of body and mind, we are often hypervigilant and more easily triggered. Some direct their pain outward, while others introject it. This pain is unprocessed and often unconscious. A narcissist, for example, is not grandiose because they actually feel grandiose, but because they feel insecure and insignificant. In extreme cases, people believe they are entitled to cause pain because they are in so much of it themselves. This is not always malicious, again, it is often unconscious. But the impact on others is real. Hurt people hurt people. Getting out of a victim mentality Taking the step from victimhood to recovery requires immense courage. It requires processing the pain that lies beneath the behavior. More than courage, it requires help. When we acknowledge the suffering we are truly in, we also realize we can’t get out of it by ourselves. As they say, courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act despite it. What helps us act in the face of fear? Support. When we open ourselves to receive help, we open ourselves to deep connections, to community, and to love. The only reason I am healing the way I am is because of the help I allow in. I laugh at myself whenever I try to do something alone and get surprised by how often I fail. Receiving help requires humility. It requires being aware that we make mistakes and that we can fall. It requires being aware of our fragility and vulnerability. A moment on the pavement One day, in the midst of my trauma recovery, I came across a homeless man unconscious on the pavement. I couldn’t just keep walking, I had to stop and call an ambulance. My heart went out to him. I was told over the phone to turn him on his side until the paramedics arrived and frantically looked around for a passerby to ask for help. An older couple walked past, and I asked, “Sir, could you please help me turn him?” The older man looked at the situation, smirked, and replied, “Why? Just leave him there.” Leave him there? Don’t you know this could be you? I was furious. A few minutes later, as I struggled on the ground, a young man appeared, rolling up his sleeves. A medical student. The three of us spent an hour on the pavement until the ambulance arrived. The young doctor and I helped the man back to consciousness, and he told us about his misery. “This is what humanity needs,” the young doctor said, words I couldn’t agree with more. Compassion requires openness, not superiority Humility develops compassion. Not just understanding, where we often excuse behavior because we understand its origin, but true compassion, where we can see and acknowledge a situation with openness and without judgment. The unhealed person doesn’t have compassion, they have arrogance. They don’t listen, they talk. They don’t want to learn because they already know best. So, what can we do? If you are reading this, you most likely already have a certain level of consciousness and awareness. Still, staying on our path requires daily dedication. I often observe my thoughts and ask myself, “Am I being arrogant or open? Can I ask for help? Am I answering questions, or asking them?” This article is not an answer to the posed question, but rather an invitation for you to reflect on the question itself. We can’t expect others to do the work, but the power of being open ourselves is limitless. It has a ripple effect that can inspire and encourage people who are ready and able to do the same. From pain to purpose, what once defined us or weighed us down can be transformed into the very force that carries us forward. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Julia Elstrodt Julia Elstrodt, Psychotherapist Julia Elstrodt is a psychotherapist specializing in trauma and embodied awareness. Knowing her vocation from the age of eleven, she has dedicated her life to the art of healing. Her work is rooted in the psychology of C. G. Jung, bridging the worlds of psychotherapy and spirituality. Shaped by the lived experience of profound trauma, Julia is deeply committed to supporting healing in both individuals and communities.

Written by Marc Snyderman, Attorney, Entrepreneur, Content Creator, & Writer Marc Snyderman is a frequent speaker, serial entrepreneur, and business lawyer. He is the founder of Next Point Ventures, a venture studio that takes an active role in investing as well as a partner in a renowned disruptive law practice. We all worry, about money, death, change, failure, separation. We worry like we’re preparing to handle it better. But in Kabbalistic thought, worry isn’t preparation at all, it’s permission. It’s an open door that invites the “Negative Side,” doubt, fear, confusion, and chaos. What’s the remedy? Presence. Worry pulls us into imaginary futures, presence grounds us in what’s real. For leaders, founders, and anyone navigating complexity, presence isn’t just a calming practice, it’s a strategic advantage. Worry isn’t passive, it’s an invitation to chaos. When we engage in worry, we unintentionally let in fear. Fear disrupts decision-making, distorts risk assessment, and erodes creativity. Worry may feel productive, but it drains clarity from the system. Presence, on the other hand, is where wise action becomes possible. In the present moment: Circumstances lose their power to distort perception Fear loses its grip Creativity re-emerges Decisions become grounded, not reactive This is why many leaders misinterpret worry as responsibility, when in reality, it is distraction. Presence closes the door to negativity and opens the path to clarity. Here are some practical tools to shift from worry to presence: Interrupt the loop. When you catch the spiral starting, name it: “This is worry.” Naming reduces its power. Breathe with intention. Three slow breaths, focusing only on the exhale. This interrupts the mental loop. Ground through your senses. Name one thing you can see, hear, and feel right now. Worry lives in abstraction; your senses anchor you to what’s real. Ask a better question.  Instead of “What if this goes wrong?” try “What’s actually in front of me right now?” The quality of your questions shapes the quality of your thinking. None of these require time you don't have. They require a moment of noticing, catching yourself in the spin and choosing to step out of it. Why this matters for entrepreneurs and leaders Whether you’re negotiating deals, building products, or navigating uncertainty, presence strengthens your decision-making. In my own work, the moments of greatest clarity always came from shutting the door on worry and operating from grounded awareness.  Of course, worry creeps in when you’re taking risks as an entrepreneur or a business leader making a critical decision; this is when it’s time to ground yourself. Every day, decisions need to be made for my venture studio portfolio companies, risky calls that invite doubt when you reflect on slower progress or past pivots. It’s that worry that opens the door to negativity.  Presence shuts it and invites clarity, insight, and aligned action.  I have “be present” tattooed on my inner arm as an ever-present reminder to battle the negativity of worry. Your next breakthrough isn’t in the future you’re afraid of, it’s in the moment you’re already standing in. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Marc Snyderman Marc Snyderman, Attorney, Entrepreneur, Content Creator, & Writer Marc Snyderman is a business leader, strategist, content creator, and author, as a hybrid business lawyer and businessman with experience from startup through IPO, his wide background provides a backdrop for success across multiple domains. He is a Managing Director of Next Point Ventures, a premier venture studio in the Philadelphia, PA region, and a Partner with OGC Solutions. Marc's mission is to support small and mid-sized businesses with disruptive models and technology.

Written by Monica Kovacs, Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach Monica is a Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach whose keen interest is exploring the intersections of the mystical and the erotic. With over 10 years of experience in Somatic Sex Education, Tantra, and BDSM, she offers clients embodied tools and practices for healing sexual trauma, reclaiming their erotic wisdom, and integrating sex and spirit. The popularity of mindfulness has surged in recent years, with numerous studies demonstrating its effectiveness in alleviating stress, anxiety, and depression while improving overall quality of life. But few people have explored how we can use the principles of mindfulness to create a sex life that feels richer, more connected, and deeply fulfilling. If sex and mindfulness feel like opposing topics that shouldn't even share the same sentence, read on. What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of maintaining moment-by-moment awareness of our unfolding experience, whether that's observing our breath, body sensations, thoughts, or feelings. It also involves an attitude of non-judgment, meaning we don't label any experience as "good" or "bad" but simply stay present and curious. Beginners often misinterpret this definition as requiring intense focus and concentration. But rather than focusing on something with great effort, think of mindfulness as a process of noticing details with ever-increasing subtlety. Try this example: Look at the palm of your hand. At first, you might notice the overall shape and size. If you're wearing rings, your eyes may be drawn to their shine. As you look closer, you may start noticing subtle gradations of color from one area to another, the lines at your knuckles, the deep creases in your palm, then the subtler creases. As you continue looking, you notice the fine texture of your skin, maybe even the unique pattern of each fingerprint. Just like that, you've spent several moments actively present and engaged with your hand, discovering it rather than thinking about it. This is what mindfulness should feel like.   The problem: Spectatoring during sex One of the biggest obstacles to a fulfilling sex life is the experience of "spectatoring," not being fully embodied, or simply watching yourself go through the motions without truly feeling anything. It's a state of separation and dissociation, essentially the opposite of presence and embodiment. Spectatoring can show up in these ways:   During partnered sex A busy mind during sex, unable to turn off thoughts about other responsibilities Performance anxiety, constantly wondering if what you're doing is pleasing your partner Body shame, worrying about how you look, smell, or taste, trying to hide what you find unacceptable Going on autopilot, performing what pleases your partner without experiencing pleasure yourself Feeling no sense of agency in how your experience unfolds, simply allowing what you think is expected Fixating on the end goal of orgasm while neglecting the journey   During solo sex   Chasing climax just to get on with your day Being so captivated by a screen that you've lost all awareness of your inner experience Rushing and being impatient with your body   If any of this resonates, you're not alone. These are the hidden and often painful experiences of many clients I see in private practice. For those who didn't receive adequate sex education (most people), they may resign themselves to believing they're broken or that "this is just how it is." Others sense that something better is possible, but have no idea where to look or how to make changes. Many turn to popular advice on learning new sexual techniques, only to find themselves just as frustrated and unfulfilled. Why? "Because without mindfulness, we stay removed from sensations in the body, continuing to think about rather than experience arousal."   How mindfulness unlocks desire You may have heard the terms spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Spontaneous desire arises out of the blue, as the name implies. Responsive desire, in contrast, requires a supportive context (such as feeling safe, relaxed, or in a pleasant environment) along with appropriate sexual cues for that person's arousal. As humans, we may experience varying degrees of both pathways. Here's what's important to understand: "there is nothing lacking in responsive desire." Both pathways are healthy and valid. If you rarely feel struck by spontaneous urges or find it takes effort to become aroused, you likely experience more responsive desire. And here's where our understanding of sexual response has evolved. Older models suggested that desire precedes arousal, meaning you'd be expected to actively want sex before experiencing any physical turn-on. But think back to those spectatoring scenarios. If you're going through the motions without connecting to pleasure, why would you desire it? This is a major reason people feel they've "lost their libido." Sex that isn't fulfilling simply isn't desirable. Research by Dr. Rosemary Basson has revolutionized our understanding of sexual response, particularly for women. Her work demonstrates that it's healthy and normal to begin from a place of sexual neutrality, neither desiring nor being opposed to sex. From this neutral starting point, tuning into cues for sexual arousal can lead to desire following arousal. In other words, we experience physical turn-on first, and that translates into desire.[1] This is where mindfulness becomes essential. Mindfulness is the key to noticing subtle shifts and changes in our bodies when we encounter sexual cues. It helps us stay attuned to our arousal so we can follow it deeper, while preventing us from getting tangled in sex-negative judgments that may arise. Mindfulness makes the difference between a sexual cue going completely unnoticed versus deep attunement to pleasure, resulting in a connected and fulfilling experience.   Understanding your sexual accelerator and brakes The Dual Control Model of Sexual Arousal, developed at the Kinsey Institute, explains that we each have excitatory and inhibitory systems that determine whether we pursue or decline sex. Think of it like your gas pedal and brakes. Your excitatory system (gas pedal) gets activated by cues relevant to your turn-on. This might be a certain scent, sound, look, tone of voice, or gesture. Often it involves proximity or contact with someone you're attracted to and touch that ignites your body. Your excitatory system can also be triggered by erotic content that speaks to your specific interests. Your inhibitory system (brakes) responds to all your perceived reasons why sex would be a bad idea right now. This list could be endless: too many items on your to-do list, fatigue, emotional tension, kids at home, not feeling fresh, negative body image. More serious concerns might include an unsafe sexual partner or high risk of unwanted pregnancy or STIs. While we each have varying sensitivities in these systems, mindfulness can help you navigate both your accelerator and brakes. For example, if one of your brakes is negative body image, you can use mindfulness to observe your thoughts. You might slow down to notice the critical voice in your head. With a curious and non-judgmental attitude, you can create spaciousness around these beliefs and recognize their subjective, malleable nature. Soon enough, they begin to lose their charge. You can watch them arise and let them pass. They no longer need to dampen your experience. Now you've freed up space to tune into your sexual cues. You can mindfully notice all the things in your environment that feel pleasurable to your five senses. What sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and skin sensations invite you toward pleasure? How does your body respond? What internal sensations does your environment evoke?   Developing body awareness through practice One of the most powerful practices for coming out of your head and into your body is the body scan meditation, a foundational component of mindfulness practices. A body scan involves gradually placing your attention in different parts of your body and simply noticing what's present. Sometimes there's numbness, or sensations like warmth, tingling, vibration, or pressure. There's no right or wrong experience, the only goal is to notice. Practicing body scan meditations regularly can dramatically rewire your nervous system toward deeper body awareness. Remember the example of observing your hand? The longer you stayed present, the more details emerged. Now imagine that happening with sensations throughout your body. Imagine slowing down time and zooming in on every detail of your kinesthetic awareness so it becomes a complex, captivating tapestry of aliveness that beckons you to feel more and more. This possibility is available to everyone through simple mindfulness. This radical ability to harness your attention and surrender to your body makes the difference between mechanically performing a technique versus savoring the moment.   Putting it into practice Whether you're single or partnered, I always recommend clients learn and experiment on their own first. Being with yourself provides a safe, low-stakes environment to try new things and discover how they make you feel. Start with a body scan meditation. Practice daily or at least a few times a week. Various recordings are available on YouTube or Insight Timer at different lengths depending on your available time. You can use the body scan as a standalone practice or right before engaging intimately. It provides a helpful transition to calm the nervous system while awakening feelings. Engage in a Mindful Self Pleasure Practice. The way that you pleasure yourself trains your nervous system in specific ways and determines how you will show up in partnered sex as well. Start with yourself, practice slowing down, noticing breath and sensation in your body, and tracking your moment-to-moment pleasure. If you’d like more helpful guidelines on how to engage in a mindful self-pleasure practice, I’ve created a free downloadable guide, the Mindful Self Pleasure Manual, which you can access here .   Ready to go deeper? If you're ready to transform your relationship with pleasure and sexuality, I invite you to work with me one-on-one. Through personalized guidance, we can address your unique challenges and help you cultivate the connected, fulfilling sex life you deserve. Visit my website to learn more about working together and schedule a consultation. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Monica Kovacs Monica Kovacs, Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach Monica is a Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment Coach who brings a holistic lens to the understanding of human eroticism. Coming from a deeply religious and dogmatic background, she spent her early adulthood breaking taboos and exploring ways to integrate the mystical and the erotic. Now with over a decade of experience in Tantra, BDSM, Somatic Sex Education, Breathwork, and Depth Psychology, she devotes herself to guiding others along the path back to sexual wholeness. Using practices that are grounded in modern neuroscience while also drawing on ancient wisdom traditions, she aims to equip clients with body-based tools for accessing healing, growth, and insight on their sexual journey. References: [1] Basson, R. (2000). The female sexual response: A different model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , 26(1), 51-65.