Written by Jara Dekker, Cognitive and Emotional Performance Coach Jara Dekker is a cognitive and emotional performance coach helping people rewire their nervous system for the success they’re seeking. She’s the founder of A Curious Catalyst and co-founder of both Logos, a personality assessment tool, and Unbound, a neuroscience-based well-being platform. What if the reality you experience is shaped by the way you perceive the world? Our thoughts, predictions, and beliefs have the power to create the life we live. Discover how neuroscience reveals that our brain continuously predicts outcomes, reinforcing beliefs that form the foundation of our reality. By shifting these beliefs and becoming aware of our thought patterns, we can take control of our minds and consciously shape a reality that empowers us. This article explores how understanding your mind’s power can transform your life. Creating reality "Careful what you wish for!" Most of us have heard this warning at least a couple of times in our lifetime, most likely shrugging it off as superstition. And yet, how much truth is in the idea that what you "wish for" or think about actually comes true? While we still seem to know very little about our "human condition," as some of my friends like to call it, more and more studies are emerging regarding the brain, our thoughts, and the perception of reality. So, what are they revealing? Well, it seems we can create our own reality and are actually more powerful than we may give ourselves credit for. Neuroscience is regularly revealing more about how this works. In particular, there are two points that have really stood out to me as I have studied the human psyche: Our brains are continually engaged in the process of prediction. It creates future predictions based on past experiences to help prevent overwhelm when navigating the complexities of life and survival. But here's the key piece, the brain actively seeks to minimize "prediction errors", that is, the difference between what we expect to happen and what actually happens. So, when our experiences match our predictions, our brain rewards us by releasing dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, motivation, and reinforcement.[1] There's our Reticular Activating System (RAS), located in the brainstem, which determines which sensory data reaches our conscious awareness. Your brain receives approximately 11 million bits of information every second, yet consciously processes only 40-50 bits per second. So, only 0.00036% of all the information becomes conscious.[2] How beliefs shape our experience So, in short, what does this actually mean for us on a practical level? Well, when presented with all the information, our brain has a built-in reward system that favors the 0.00036% of information that fits our beliefs (even if those beliefs are negative). Given that when we come across information that supports what we already think, whatever that may be, we get a hit of dopamine. This, in turn, makes us more likely to accept, remember, and prioritize evidence that confirms our internal thoughts and beliefs, reinforcing our existing views and creating a strong confirmation bias. The first point creates the bias, and the latter provides the evidence to prove it true, or rather shows us a reality in which our thinking fits. “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become reality.” – Earl Nightingale. Albert Ellis[3] believed that at the heart of our most harmful behaviors and emotional struggles lies a deeply ingrained, irrational philosophical or ideological core. That is, a belief so fundamental to our view of the world and ourselves that we don’t even recognize it as a belief. Instead, we assume it to be reality. These beliefs operate as silent scripts, dictating our emotional reactions and shaping our behaviors in ways we’re often unaware of. For example: If you believe you're not good enough, your brain will emphasize evidence supporting this, creating feelings of inadequacy. If you’re convinced someone dislikes you, your brain selectively notices cues validating this belief, even if they’re neutral or friendly. If you believe opportunities are scarce, your brain overlooks possibilities right in front of you. These can also lead to even deeper self-defeating behaviors like avoidance, lashing out, self-medicating, or shutting down. This became the foundation for Ellis' REBT, in which he argues that to change our behaviors, we must first change our feelings, and to change our feelings, we must change our thoughts. As we’ve determined, more recent studies are proving Ellis' theory not only for negative thoughts and patterns, but also for empowering thoughts and beliefs. Shaping your own reality So, what does that mean for us, practically? Well, it means our greatest leverage point for meaningful change lies within our own thinking. If our brain is wired to reinforce our current beliefs, shaping the reality we perceive and ultimately live, then shifting those beliefs becomes the priority. Rather than passively accepting the reality our subconscious patterns create, we must actively and consciously choose to become aware of our patterning, the ways of being we developed as children and throughout our lives to protect, survive, and thrive. To understand our nervous system and subconscious, we must learn to regulate ourselves and also actively choose and control the thoughts and beliefs we nurture. Don't get me wrong, I don’t mean merely to lean into wishful optimism, positive thinking, or meaningless affirmations. It’s the deliberate act of becoming aware of our internal narratives, working on our default patterns, and intentionally rewriting them. In short, your brain will choose to see what it expects to see, but you have the power to shape those expectations. I'm not saying this is always easy, although time and again my work with people has proven it doesn't have to be as hard as some might believe, but it is our responsibility, and a beautiful opportunity, to cultivate and reinforce beliefs aligned with what we are trying to create and the person we want to be. By getting to know yourself, your inner voice, your patterns, and intentionally shifting your thoughts, cultivating greater awareness, and consciously aligning your beliefs with the reality you genuinely want to live, you reclaim your ability to create a reality that empowers, supports, and fulfills you. After all, the way we choose to see the world truly does create the world we see. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jara Dekker Jara Dekker, Cognitive and Emotional Performance Coach Jara Dekker is a leader in emotional resilience, cognitive performance, and human transformation. After years of studying how personalities are shaped, Jara co-developed and co-founded the Logos assessment, which helps people understand themselves deeply and apply that awareness to how they live, lead, and connect. As founder of A Curious Catalyst, she works directly with individuals through a practical, proven approach to help them rewire the patterns that inhibit their goals, strengthening their inner foundation for lasting peace, strength, and prosperity. She is also the co-founder of Unbound, a neuroscience-based platform helping organisations strengthen employee wellbeing to improve performance, engagement, and culture. References: [1] Friston, K. (2010). "The free-energy principle: A unified brain theory?" Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 11(2), 127-138.) [2] Garcia-Rill, E., Kezunovic, N., Hyde, J., Simon, C., Beck, P., & Urbano, F. J. (2013). "Coherence and frequency in the reticular activating system (RAS)." Sleep Medicine Reviews, 17(3), 227-238. / Wilson, T. D. (2002). Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious. Harvard University Press. [3] 1913-2007, American Psychologist and founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)

Mat Pilates is the foundation, it teaches breath, control, and clean alignment. But if you’ve been practicing consistently, you’ve probably felt the “mat plateau” moment, when familiar moves stop feeling as challenging as they used to. That doesn’t mean you need longer workouts or more complicated routines. It usually means you need a smarter stimulus. That’s where pilates gear comes in. The right props can make classic exercises feel brand-new: they add resistance when you’re ready to progress, and they add support when you’re refining technique. Even better, you don’t need a giant machine to upgrade your sessions. With a few strategic tools, your living room can start to feel like a studio, without losing the simplicity that makes Pilates sustainable. Below is a practical breakdown of what to buy first, what each item actually does, and how to build a setup that matches your goals. Why you need to upgrade your pilates gear Pilates gear typically does two high-value jobs, assistance and resistance. Assistance (support that improves form): Helps you find the correct position, especially in core work and back articulation. Makes difficult movements more accessible without “cheating.” Offers tactile feedback so you can feel alignment (knees tracking, rib cage placement, pelvis stability). This is why many pilates props for beginners aren’t only for beginners, they’re for anyone who wants cleaner movement. Resistance (challenge that drives progress): Adds load beyond bodyweight and gravity. Improves strength endurance and control through the full range of motion. Helps you upgrade home workout intensity without jumping into high-impact training. The best part, many pieces of home pilates equipment can do both, depending on how you use them. The must-have pilates gear breakdown Y ou don’t need ten gadgets. Start with the “workhorse” tools, small, versatile, and easy to store. Resistance bands & loops If you want one item that delivers the most variety per dollar, this is it. Bands can add challenge to glutes, legs, and upper-body work while keeping Pilates movements smooth and controlled. Why they work Portable resistance that mimics the idea of spring tension (without needing a machine). Great for glutes and outer hips, especially if mat work has stopped feeling spicy. Useful for gentle mobility work, too, bands can assist range of motion when you’re tightening up. Best ways to use them Glute bridges with a loop above the knees (forces hip stability). Side-lying clamshells (targets glute medius). Standing or seated rows (upper-back strength for posture support). What to buy One loop band set with multiple resistance levels. One long band (with or without handles) for pulls, presses, and stretches. The magic circle (pilates ring) The ring is deceptively simple, and surprisingly effective. It turns “holding a shape” into active, focused work, especially for inner thighs, arms, and deep core engagement. Why it works Creates a clear “centerline” cue, squeeze inward or press outward and you instantly know if you’re engaging. Excellent for adding challenge without increasing impact. Strong choice if you want toning-focused sessions with precise control. Best ways to use it Bridge + gentle squeeze pulses between thighs (inner thighs + pelvic stability). Overhead press in tabletop (arms + rib control). Side-lying leg work pressing the ring (outer hip + inner thigh coordination). What to buy A ring with comfortable pads and enough tension to feel resistance (not so stiff you compensate with your neck/shoulders). Mini stability ball This is one of the most underrated props because it’s not about “making things harder”, it’s about making your body more honest. The ball improves control, balance, and core activation because it adds instability and feedback. Why it works Encourages deep core engagement to stabilize your pelvis and rib cage. Helps you “find” neutral alignment in ab work. Great for improving balance and coordination without jumping to complex choreography. Best ways to use it Ball between knees during core work (keeps legs aligned and active). Ball behind the low back for supported abdominal curls (feedback without strain). Ball under hips or between ankles for controlled leg-lowering variations. What to buy A mini ball with a grippy surface and a plug you can adjust, slightly under-inflated usually feels best. How to build your perfect at-home setup A smart home studio isn’t “buy everything.” It’s buy in layers, based on what you actually need right now. Step 1: Choose your “first add-on” based on your goal If you want stronger glutes/legs, start with bands & loops. If you want more tone and control (inner thighs/arms/core integration), start with a magic circle. If you want better core engagement and alignment feedback, start with a mini stability ball. Step 2: Add one tool at a time (and master it) The biggest mistake is buying five props and using none consistently. Your body adapts best when you: Use one new prop for 2-3 weeks Learn what “good tension” feels like Then add the next tool when you feel ready for variety or a new challenge Step 3: Prioritize quality for comfort Quality materials matter more than people think. Bands that snap, rings that warp, or balls that constantly leak air are more than annoying, they can disrupt your practice and increase the risk of awkward movement. When you’re ready to expand your setup, it can help to browse a curated Pilates gear  collection instead of buying randomly. Choosing durable, well-made gear supports both comfort and long-term use, especially when you’re adding resistance. Step 4: Keep it visible, not buried If your gear lives in a closet you never open, it won’t become a routine. A simple approach: One small basket for bands + ring Ball slightly inflated and stored beside it Mat rolled and reachable This is how your space becomes an invitation instead of a decision. The right pilates gear doesn’t replace mat Pilates, it expands it. Bands add resistance for strength progression, the magic circle sharpens tone and centerline control, and the mini stability ball improves deep core activation and balance. The best setup is the one that matches your current needs and grows with you. Think of it as a practical upgrade, not more noise, not more clutter, just better tools for smarter movement. Start with one prop, use it consistently, and let your home practice evolve the way your body does, step by step, with control.

Big ideas don’t always arrive as bold statements. Sometimes they show up as better questions. Clearer systems. Or a calmer way of doing hard work. Jane Coogan’s career has been built on those kinds of ideas. Practical ones that last. As a Partner at Coogan Smith, LLP in Attleboro, Massachusetts, Jane has spent more than a decade helping families and business owners navigate complex legal moments. Her approach is steady. Her leadership is quiet. And the impact of her ideas has grown over time. Early lessons in pace and focus Jane grew up in Attleboro as the youngest of five children. Being the youngest taught her how to listen before speaking and how to learn by watching. At Bishop Feehan High School, she ran cross country and track. Distance running shaped how she thought about effort and endurance. “You can’t rush everything,” she says. “You have to know when to push and when to hold steady.” That idea stayed with her. It influenced how she approached school, work, and later, leadership. Jane studied English at the College of the Holy Cross. The degree strengthened her ability to think clearly and communicate with purpose. She then attended Villanova University School of Law, earning both her JD and an LLM in Taxation. “I liked working through complex systems,” she says. “But I also wanted to explain them in a way people could actually understand.” Turning knowledge into real-world skill Jane began her legal career at Feingold and Edelblum, a boutique firm in Hackensack, New Jersey. The firm worked with high-net-worth individuals and families. The work was detailed and demanding. “It was hands-on from the start,” she recalls. “You had to be prepared. Clients expected clarity, not theory.” One of the most important ideas Jane took from that experience was that legal work is rarely just technical. Clients often come in during moments of stress. “You certainly need the knowledge base,” she says. “But empathy is probably one of the most important attributes for success.” That belief shaped how she approached every case. Instead of overwhelming clients with information, she focused on listening first. Then simplifying decisions. Bringing big ideas home In 2014, Jane returned to Attleboro to join Coogan Smith, LLP. Coming home gave her the chance to build something long term. Not just a practice, but a way of working. Her focus areas include estate planning, business formation, succession planning, and probate administration. These are fields that require both precision and patience. “My goal is to make things feel manageable,” she says. “If someone leaves a meeting feeling calmer and clearer, that matters.” One of Jane’s key ideas has been redefining productivity. For her, it is not about speed or volume. “Productivity isn’t about doing more,” she explains. “It’s about doing what matters most with full attention.” She built her workday around that idea. Focused meetings. Clear follow-ups. Time set aside for deep thinking. Over time, those small systems created better outcomes and stronger trust. Leadership through consistency Jane’s leadership extends beyond her firm. She has served as President of the Attleboro Area Bar Association and sits on the boards of the Sturdy Memorial Hospital Foundation, the Attleboro YMCA, and Friends of St. John the Evangelist School. “These roles keep you grounded,” she says. “They remind you that your work affects real people.” Early in her career, Jane admits she tried to do too much. “I thought saying yes to everything was the right move,” she says. “It wasn’t. I learned that quality matters more than quantity.” That lesson led to a more sustainable way of working. Fewer commitments. Better focus. Clear priorities. Balancing work, family, and long-term thinking Jane is also a mother of two daughters, ages nine and seven. Balancing career and family is something she approaches with intention, not perfection. “It’s always a challenge,” she says. “But I try to stay present. When I’m at work, I focus on my clients. When I’m home, I focus on my children.” Running remains her reset button. It gives her space to think and reflect. “Running helps me reset,” she says. “It’s where ideas come together.” She credits her parents as lasting influences. Her father’s reputation as a caring attorney showed her what professionalism looks like in action. Her mother modelled encouragement and balance. “They showed me that confidence and kindness can exist together,” she says. Quiet ideas, real impact Jane Coogan’s career shows that big ideas do not need to be loud. They need to be lived. Through empathy, clarity, and consistency, she has built a practice that reflects her values. Her story is a reminder that lasting success often comes from simple ideas applied well. Over time. With care. And with purpose.

Walk into a 46,000 square foot showroom in Clarksville, Tennessee, and you will see rows of sofas, dining sets, and mattresses. What you may not see is the idea that built it. For David Berggren, Owner of Furniture Connection , the idea was simple: furniture prices were too high, and customers deserved better. “I believed people were paying more than they should,” David says. “There had to be a way to offer fine quality furniture at fair prices and still treat people right.” That belief became a business. How David Berggren started furniture connection David founded Furniture Connection in October 1999 in Oak Grove. At the time, he saw a gap in the market. Big stores carried well-known brands, but prices often felt inflated. Smaller stores struggled with selection. He decided to try something different. The goal was clear. Offer trusted brands. Keep prices fair. Focus on service. In October 2000, the business moved to Clarksville. The relocation marked a turning point. The store had more room to grow. So did the vision. “I never wanted it to feel rushed or pressured,” David says. “Buying furniture should feel comfortable. You should be able to sit down, compare, and think.” That philosophy shaped the showroom design. Why the 46,000 square foot showroom matters Today, Furniture Connection operates the largest furniture showroom in Clarksville. The size is not just about scale. It supports a strategy. Customers can see, sit on, and compare different brands in one place. They can test mattresses side by side. They can walk through full room setups. “People make better decisions when they can see and feel the product,” David explains. “Pictures don’t tell the whole story.” The large footprint also allows the company to carry major brands like Ashley, Flexsteel, La-Z-Boy, and Bassett. That combination of selection and space supports the long-standing slogan: “Fine Quality Furniture at the Lowest Price.” For David, the slogan reflects a principle, not a marketing line. “Value should never come at the expense of quality,” he says. What makes a local furniture retailer competitive? Furniture retail is competitive. National chains dominate advertising. Online sellers compete on convenience. David chose a different angle. Service. Furniture Connection’s mission statement is direct: provide the highest level of service possible. That focus affects hiring and training. Staff are expected to be knowledgeable. They are trained to guide customers, not pressure them. “I tell the team we are here before, during, and after the sale,” David says. “If something goes wrong, we fix it.” That long-term mindset builds trust. Success, for David, is not measured only in daily sales. It is measured in repeat customers and long-term relationships. “If people come back years later, that tells you something,” he says. How community support became part of the business model Furniture Connection is not just a retail store. It is active in the local community. The company supports organizations such as Hope to Dream, Judy’s Hope, Hope House, and FUEL. It partners in education with Kenwood Elementary School. It supports Austin Peay University. David sees community involvement as part of doing business the right way. “We live here,” he says. “If the community grows stronger, we grow stronger.” That mindset aligns with his long-term approach. Build something that lasts. Serve customers well. Support the area that supports you. Lessons from over two decades in business Furniture Connection has been serving Middle Tennessee and southern Kentucky for more than twenty years. That kind of longevity does not happen by accident. David’s strategy has remained steady. Keep pricing fair. Offer trusted brands. Focus on service. Stay involved locally. He avoids chasing trends that do not align with the company’s identity. “You can’t try to be everything,” he says. “You have to know what you stand for.” For him, that means value and trust. The move from Oak Grove to Clarksville was one example of adapting when the time was right. Expanding the showroom was another. Each decision supported the same core idea. What other business owners can learn David Berggren did not invent furniture retail. He improved the customer experience within it. He questioned pricing. He created space for customers to make informed decisions. He built relationships instead of pushing transactions. “I’ve always believed success is about trust,” he says. “If people trust you, they come back.” In a world of fast clicks and quick sales, that approach may seem simple. But simple does not mean easy. It requires consistency. Today, Furniture Connection stands as the largest showroom in Clarksville. It serves families across Middle Tennessee and southern Kentucky. And it continues to operate on the same belief that started in 1999. Fine quality. Fair prices. Honest service. For David Berggren, that idea still guides every decision.

Most careers don’t start with a clear path. Robert McRath did. He didn’t stumble into aviation. He chose it early. And then he built his life around it, step by step. “I got interested in aviation in middle school,” McRath says. “Once that clicked, I knew I wanted to keep going with it.” Today, he is a Captain at Endeavor Air, a subsidiary of Delta Air Lines. His role is built on precision, leadership, and trust. But his journey is really about turning a simple idea into a structured career. How Robert McRath got into aviation early McRath grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. His interest in aviation started young and never faded. “I remember being curious about how planes worked,” he says. “It felt like something I wanted to understand, not just watch.” That curiosity became a long-term focus. While many people change directions, McRath stayed consistent. At the same time, he was active in the Boy Scouts. He eventually earned the rank of Eagle Scout. “Scouting taught me responsibility early,” he says. “You learn how to lead and follow at the same time.” That mix of discipline and curiosity helped shape how he approached his future. Saint Louis University aviation program experience McRath took his interest in aviation to Saint Louis University. He studied aviation and graduated Cum Laude in 2019. He didn’t just focus on coursework. He got involved. One of the most important parts of his college experience was the Flying Billikens Flight Team. “The flight team pushed me,” he says. “It made aviation real in a way classes alone couldn’t.” The team environment helped him build skills that go beyond flying. It taught him how to perform under pressure and work as part of a group. He also earned an aviation science research project award during his time there. “I liked going deeper into the details,” he says. “There’s always more to learn in aviation.” This mindset, continuous learning, became a core part of his career. Career path to becoming a captain at endeavor air After graduating in 2019, McRath entered the aviation industry and began building flight hours and experience. Like most pilots, his progress was steady, not instant. “There’s no shortcut in this field,” he says. “You build experience over time.” That steady approach paid off. He joined Endeavor Air and worked his way up to Captain. As a Captain, he is responsible for the aircraft, the crew, and the passengers. “It’s not just about flying,” McRath explains. “You’re responsible for the whole operation.” His role requires quick decisions, clear communication, and strong preparation. “You have to stay calm,” he says. “People are trusting you every time they step on board.” Leadership in aviation: What it really looks like Leadership in aviation is not loud. It is structured and consistent. McRath’s approach reflects that. “I focus on being prepared,” he says. “That’s where good decisions come from.” His background plays a role here. From Eagle Scout training to flight team competition, he learned how to lead in real situations. In the cockpit, leadership shows up in small actions. Clear communication. Attention to detail. Respect for the crew. “You’re working with a team every flight,” he says. “Everyone needs to be aligned.” This kind of leadership helps maintain safety and efficiency. It also builds trust within the team. Mentorship and giving back to aspiring pilots One of the ideas McRath has carried forward is the importance of mentorship. He stays connected to Saint Louis University and the Flying Billikens Flight Team. He shares his experience with current students. “I wouldn’t be here without that support,” he says. “So I try to give that back.” Mentorship is not a formal program for him. It is practical and direct. Sometimes it is advice. Sometimes it is just being available. “Even small conversations can help someone decide their next step,” he says. This approach reflects a larger idea. Success is not just personal progress. It is also helping others move forward. Lessons from Robert McRath’s career path McRath’s career is built on a few clear ideas. Start early if you can. Stay consistent. Keep learning. And support others along the way. “Nothing about this career is fast,” he says. “You earn each step.” His story shows how a simple interest can turn into a structured career when it is backed by discipline and action. From middle school curiosity to airline captain, the path makes sense when you look at it closely. “It all builds on itself,” Pilot Robert McRath  says. “Every stage prepares you for the next one.” That mindset is what has allowed him to bring his early ideas to life, and turn them into a career that continues to grow.

In a world shaped by remote work and digital networking, meaningful professional connections are becoming harder to find. In this interview, Georgina Smith shares how she created Share-A-Table to bring professionals back to the table, where real conversations can spark collaboration, opportunity, and unexpected career breakthroughs. Georgina Smith, Founder of Share-A-Table Who is Georgina Smith? I'm Georgina, Founder of Share-A-Table. I'm a global adventurer, experience designer, and believer that the right conversation at the right moment can change your life. Life has taken me from Melbourne to Sydney, Curitiba to Madrid, Barcelona to London, and Amsterdam. Along the way, I've designed event experiences from the intimate to the epic. What struck me most wasn’t the places, it was the people. The stranger who became a collaborator. The dinner, lunch, or coffee guest who opened an unexpected door. The serendipitous connection that unfolded an entirely new world. I learned that magic doesn’t just happen, it needs the right environment, the right energy, and the right attitude. That’s exactly what I’m creating with Share-A-Table, a place where remarkable people come together, real conversations flow, and one meeting can change everything. What inspired you to start Share-A-Table, and what problem are you solving with it? Post-pandemic, our professional lives changed permanently. Remote and hybrid work gave us flexibility but cost us face-to-face connection. We've lost over two hours per week of in-person social interaction since smartphones arrived, and that number has grown since 2020. The result? Workplace isolation is real. And it’s not just isolating, it’s limiting. Without direct contact, your professional network suffers. Opportunities that used to land in your lap now pass you by. That’s why I founded Share-A-Table, to create intentional spaces for the in-person professional connections that hybrid and remote work have taken away. Hybrid work is also a contributor, as the lack of regular contact breaks down the very fibers that keep social connections robust. WeWork, WeCrashed, We’ll Match-A-Latte In the not-so-distant future, your next job won't come from LinkedIn. It'll come from a conversation at a café three blocks from your apartment. Post-pandemic office occupancy in the UK sits at 56% of 2019 levels (JLL, 2024). That missing 44%? They're working locally in cafés, co-working spaces, or in hybrid setups that blend both. But here’s the gap. Co-working spaces offer desks, not connections. You’re surrounded by people, but you share nothing except walls. Cafés feel more human, but they’re not designed for deliberate professional connection. The businesses that solve this, creating local spaces supported by platforms that facilitate real collaboration, are creating something powerful and local, professional communities that thrive in proximity, not just in Slack channels. What makes Share-A-Table different from other networking or social platforms? We started broad, connecting all walks of life at tables, with a focus on mixed groups between 35 and 55. But we quickly learned that professionals are short on two things, time and money. They want both valued and well spent. Our early social tables were great. People connected, yet the cost of bringing new members in via social channels became prohibitively expensive. Guests were also frustrated. If tables were too large, it was difficult to have a real conversation, not a repetitive one. You wanted to be able to circulate and meet people. At times, many female members felt like they were subsidizing others' meals or expensive drink tastes, from cocktails to post-dinner whiskey, which is a lot mid-week. The cost-value ratio wasn’t there. And the "meeting strangers to cure loneliness" pitch? It’s a hard sell. No one aspires to that label. So, we pivoted to niche, work-focused connections. Founders, makers, the creatives that tell your story, and tech engineers, people who actually need each other to build. Smart people with ambitious ideas always want to connect. But creativity and innovation don’t happen in bubbles with people from the same discipline. That’s the key difference between us and free networking groups. We’re building working relationships, not collecting business cards. What specific benefits do professionals gain when they join a Share-A-Table experience? These are the people who complete each other’s builds. We concentrate on connecting them locally, across disciplines, so they can create real business opportunities in person, with purpose, and see the results of their work. What kinds of people or industries benefit most from your tables and why? Amsterdam is predominantly a tech startup hub, but we see founders across food production, health, wellness, and more. We have deep AI and tech talent here, but when those solutions need to be human-centered, that’s where makers and strategists come in. What we know is that even an AI tool will need someone to sell it in, especially for big corporations, and that requires marketing, sales support, tech system integrators, and change makers to increase internal user adaptability and adoption. What are the key elements that make a Share-A-Table event successful? The mix of professionals and the depth of their expertise. This is a niche hotspot of talent, not general networking, but an untapped resource in every city. The key is getting them together, in person, at a table. It’s a unique energy source, incomparable to what AI promises or what it is marketed to do. It’s the je ne sais quoi human magic and energy that experts in their field seek, whether they're Founders building their Startup, or any professional feeling stuck where they are, underutilized. What challenges do your clients typically face before joining, and what changes after they participate? Typical challenges for professionals include time constraints and questions of cost-value ratio. The very same concerns they have with any networking event or turning up to a social gathering when they know very few people. That’s why Share-A-Table is becoming far more niche and focused, to enhance the magic of serendipity. If you want to transform how you're managing your business, land your next paid gig as a freelancer, or build something new and challenging, you’re unlikely to find it on LinkedIn or any job board. We make it possible. We make the search shorter and your time worthwhile. What should someone expect when they attend their first Share-A-Table event? You’re guaranteed to meet professionals at your level, but it will feel far less like work than expected. It verges on social. It’s warm, engaged, and welcoming. Everyone is surprised by how much they enjoy it. People lean in, and because of that, you get more out of it. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Georgina Smith

Written by Emma Toms, The Confident Wellness Coach Emma Toms is an Integrated Wellness Coach, IEMT Practitioner, Reiki Master Teacher, and Certified SSP Provider. Drawing on her own healing journey through autoimmune illness, she empowers clients to restore balance, build resilience, and reconnect with their true nature. Insight is powerful, but insight alone does not regulate a nervous system. A person can understand their childhood patterns, they can articulate their anxiety with precision, they can analyze their attachment style in detail and still feel braced, still reactive, still wired for something that is no longer happening. This is the divide between cognition and physiology, and it is precisely where Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) operates. While large-scale independent trials specific to IEMT are still developing, the mechanisms it draws upon are grounded in established neuroscience and psychophysiology. When discussed responsibly, this distinction matters. Let us examine the evidence. Memory reconsolidation: Emotional memory is malleable For decades, memory was assumed to be fixed once consolidated. That view shifted following the landmark study by Nader, Schafe and LeDoux (2000), published in Nature, demonstrating that reactivated memories temporarily return to a labile state before being stored again, a process known as reconsolidation . Alberini and LeDoux (2013) further explored reconsolidation as a mechanism for updating emotional memory in Current Biology. Within psychotherapy literature , Ecker, Ticic and Hulley (2012) outlined how transformational change may occur when emotional learnings are reactivated and revised during this reconsolidation window. IEMT deliberately activates emotionally encoded imprints and applies structured eye movement patterns during this window. Clients commonly report that the memory remains, but the emotional intensity reduces. This reflects updating rather than erasure. Bilateral eye movements and emotional intensity Although IEMT is distinct from EMDR, both approaches utilize guided eye movements. Research examining bilateral stimulation suggests reductions in emotional vividness and intensity . Van den Hout and Engelhard (2012) demonstrated that eye movements reduce the emotionality of disturbing memories. Lee and Cuijpers (2013), in a meta-analysis , supported the contribution of eye movements in diminishing emotional distress. Neuroimaging research by Pagani et al. (2012) identified measurable changes in limbic activation during bilateral stimulation. The prevailing hypothesis suggests that engaging working memory through eye movements reduces emotional imagery intensity, allowing adaptive reprocessing to occur. IEMT applies this mechanism within a structured protocol that also addresses identity-level encoding. Identity encoding and self-referential networks Trauma does not merely encode events. It encodes conclusions: “I am not safe.” “I am not enough.” “I am too much.” Neuroimaging meta-analysis by Northoff et al. (2006) identified medial prefrontal cortex involvement in self-referential processing. Hamilton et al. (2015) linked default mode network dysregulation with depressive rumination and maladaptive self-focus. Identity-based emotional imprints are therefore not abstract narratives, they are embodied neural patterns. IEMT includes a structured approach to working at this identity level, targeting the emotional encoding underpinning these self-referential conclusions. When identity shifts, behavioural patterns often follow. Chronic stress, inflammation and survival regulation In clinical and community contexts, particularly among individuals experiencing burnout, chronic stress, or autoimmune conditions, emotional imprinting frequently coexists with physiological dysregulation. Psychoneuroimmunology research has shown: Segerstrom and Miller (2004) identified that chronic psychological stress alters immune function. Danese and McEwen (2012) linked early adversity with long-term inflammatory dysregulation. Slopen et al. (2010) demonstrated associations between childhood adversity and elevated inflammatory markers in adulthood. This does not position IEMT as a medical treatment for inflammatory disease. It does support the understanding that persistent threat activation affects immune signaling, and that interventions which reduce chronic activation may support broader regulation. Clinical and community application in Glasgow In my practice in Glasgow, I integrate IEMT within a trauma-informed, nervous-system-focused framework. The work spans: Individual IEMT therapy in Glasgow Trauma-informed coaching for chronic stress and burnout Emotional regulation support in men’s community wellbeing projects Nervous system regulation education within group settings Support for individuals navigating long-term health conditions Within community mental health initiatives across Glasgow, particularly in male-focused programs, the structured and contained nature of IEMT has proven accessible. Many participants who are reluctant to engage in open-ended emotional exploration respond well to a practical, mechanism-informed process. Outcomes commonly reported include: Reduced intrusive memory intensity Decreased anger reactivity Improved sleep patterns Greater emotional flexibility Increased sense of personal agency In private practice, IEMT is often combined with somatic awareness, lifestyle medicine principles, and nervous system education. This integrative approach supports individuals seeking: Trauma therapy in Glasgow Support for burnout recovery Nervous system regulation strategies Emotional resilience development Stress-related health recovery pathways The emphasis remains consistent: structured, ethical, evidence-aligned practice. Not dramatic catharsis. Regulation. A measured conclusion There is currently limited large-scale independent research specific to IEMT as a standalone modality. However, the mechanisms it draws upon, memory reconsolidation, bilateral stimulation, identity encoding, and stress – inflammation pathways, are supported within peer-reviewed literature. As the mental health landscape evolves, interventions that work directly with how the nervous system encodes and updates threat responses deserve careful, critical exploration. We cannot reason with a nervous system in full survival mode. But we can update the imprint that sustains it. And when that imprint softens, regulation becomes possible again. Steady systems build resilient lives. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and visit my LinkedIn  for more info! Read more from Emma Toms Emma Toms, The Confident Wellness Coach Emma Toms is an Integrated Wellness Coach, IEMT Practitioner, Reiki Master Teacher, and Certified SSP Provider. With more than 30 years of lived experience following an autoimmune diagnosis, she combines expertise in neuroscience, somatic practice, and energy work to deliver a comprehensive approach to wellness. Her background spans both healthcare and holistic settings, giving her a unique perspective on the intersection of science and spirituality. Having overcome her own challenges with Graves’ Disease and chronic stress, Emma now guides clients to restore balance, build resilience, and reconnect with their true nature.

Written by Connie Eaton, Founder & COO of Rooted in Sunshine Connie Eaton leads Rooted In Sunshine, blending design and wellness to craft gardens and green spaces that restore, inspire, and nurture both people and the environment. Recent Arctic blasts left many landscapes across the Gulf Coast appearing intact on the surface but the real story often unfolds underground. Beneath the soil, roots continue their quiet work, pulsing with life and responding to stress long before foliage shows visible signs. Plants experience the world first through their root systems. When extreme cold disrupts that foundation, a plant’s ability to absorb nutrients, regulate moisture, and defend itself can be compromised. Sometimes, for one to two years after a major freeze event. This internal strain isn’t about short-term appearance; it’s about long-term resilience. Cold stress doesn’t simply “burn” leaves. It slows metabolic activity at the root level, forcing plants to divert energy away from growth and toward survival. Even species known for cold tolerance are taxed by prolonged freezes, leaving them more vulnerable to disease, delayed spring growth, heat stress, or gradual decline as seasons shift. Understanding freeze impact: a timeline below the soil Immediately during a freeze (0–72 hours): Soil temperatures drop, reducing root function Water uptake slows or stops Cellular damage may begin in fine feeder roots Plants enter a conservation mode, prioritizing survival over growth Short-term after the freeze (1–4 weeks): Root systems recover more slowly than foliage Damaged roots limit nutrient absorption Above-ground growth may appear “normal” while internal stress persists Plants are more susceptible to fungal pathogens and opportunistic pests Mid-term recovery window (1–6 months): New root growth resumes unevenly Nutrient deficiencies may appear as temperatures warm Stressed plants struggle to adapt to spring heat fluctuations Without support, recovery can stall or weaken future growth cycles Long-term effects (6–24 months): Reduced vigor and flowering Increased sensitivity to heat, drought, or future freezes Higher likelihood of decline in woody ornamentals and perennials Structural weakness in trees and shrubs that endured repeated cold stress From reactive to proactive: what thoughtful aftercare really means Just as the body needs targeted care after a health setback, landscapes benefit most when recovery efforts focus below the surface, before visible problems appear. Effective post-freeze landscape care includes: Root-conditioning treatments to stimulate regeneration and improve nutrient uptake Mulch reapplication to stabilize soil temperatures, protect roots from further fluctuations, and conserve moisture Tailored nutrient strategies, including: Foliar sprays for quick micronutrient delivery In-ground, root-level applications for deep recovery Slow-release fertilizers that support steady growth into warmer months These measures aren’t reserved for newly planted or visibly damaged plants. Any plant that endured freezing temperatures can benefit, especially those expected to perform during the intense heat of Gulf Coast summers. Recovery at the root level is gradual. Without intervention, plants emerging from cold stress remain more vulnerable to disease, insect pressure, and environmental extremes even when they appear healthy on the surface. Building resilience with intention At Rooted In Sunshine, we tailor aftercare plans based on plant species, root health, soil conditions, and site exposure because true resilience is built with intention, not hope. Whether it’s a nutrient spray to invigorate foliage or a slow-release treatment that sustains growth over time, our focus is helping landscapes not just survive winter, but thrive long after it passes. By caring for the unseen parts of your garden, you empower its visible beauty to flourish, season after season. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Connie Eaton Connie Eaton, Founder & COO of Rooted in Sunshine Connie Eaton holds a degree in Psychology from the University of Houston and brings a wellness-focused perspective to the world of landscape design. Through Rooted In Sunshine, she specializes in organic gardens, pollinator habitats, and purposeful green spaces that support both human well-being and environmental health. Her work centers on the belief that thoughtfully designed outdoor environments can restore balance, encourage mindfulness, and create lasting impact for families and communities.

Written by Lilyan Fowler M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, Founder-Mental Health Counselor Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, is the founder of Fowler Counseling and offers accessible virtual therapy for marginalized communities across Texas. They are an affirming, trauma-informed therapist who supports and empowers clients through an attachment-based approach. Grief and uncertainty can challenge even the most resilient leaders and professionals. Understanding what is within your control — and what is not — provides a framework to navigate loss, manage anxiety, and foster personal growth. This article explores practical strategies, including the spheres of control, to help you regain stability and move forward with intention. Grief can unsettle even the most capable among us, shaking the ground beneath our feet. Loss and uncertainty affect our sense of control — and understanding how to regain footing can guide growth, even when life feels out of balance.   A recent loss can shake once-solid foundations, reminding us that slowing down is not weakness but an act of honoring ourselves and those whose presence is no longer here. Few experiences destabilize us more than the death of a loved one. It is an undeniable truth of life: we are born, and one day, we will die. While death is inevitable, it is something many of us fear. When tragedy strikes, it can be difficult to feel grounded as our sense of steadiness is disrupted.   Grief does not pause for leadership roles, deadlines, or professional expectations. When we experience loss, our nervous system searches for safety. Because death cannot be reversed, the mind often attempts to restore balance by tightening its grip elsewhere. The nervous system interprets loss as a threat and looks for protection in predictability — routines, productivity, over-functioning, or hyper-responsibility.   In my work as a therapist, I often see this show up quietly in their actions: a client who lost a child started meticulously organizing their household schedule and burying themselves in their work.   They were not avoiding grief — they were seeking control where it felt possible. Over time, recognizing this pattern allowed them to step back and intentionally honor their own emotional needs.   Grief often unfolds in waves. We may feel denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, or acceptance — sometimes revisiting certain feelings multiple times before reaching a sense of steadiness. [1] Experiencing and expressing these primary emotions in safe ways allows us to process grief and gradually regain a sense of stability. [2] [3]   However, anxiety after loss is not the only time our footing shifts. Growth and healing also begin in uncomfortable places. Often, that discomfort exposes how deeply we long for stability. Understanding control Throughout life, it helps to understand our internal and external locus of control. The internal locus refers to our ability to manage thoughts, behaviors, boundaries, and coping skills. We may influence certain aspects of our lives — communication, relationships, work — but we cannot entirely determine them. We cannot change the past, predict the future, or dictate other people’s reactions.   Trauma and prolonged stress can leave us feeling as though we are constantly reacting. This is not thriving; it is surviving. When the nervous system perceives instability, it searches for something predictable to hold onto. Many aspects of life exist outside our reach. When we redirect our effort toward what is within our influence, growth becomes possible. Anxiety may still arise, but clarity improves when we understand where our attention is best directed. One practical framework for this is the three spheres: control, influence, and concern. Loss, grief, and growth Loss is irreversible and often leaves us yearning for agency. Grief is layered, much like the growth rings of a tree. Imagine yourself as that tree: when tragedy strikes, the trunk is wounded. Over time, it heals, yet each new ring represents an evolved version of you encountering grief again. Anniversaries, holidays, milestones, or new losses can resurface old pain — not because you are failing, but because you are growing around it.   Experiencing and expressing emotions — sadness, longing, or anger — in intentional ways allows us to process grief and gradually regain stability.[2][3] Each wave of grief presents an opportunity to notice where our energy is best spent, what we can influence, and what we need to release.   When grief becomes all-consuming, the goal is not to regain perfect balance overnight. Instead, notice what remains within reach. The loss itself cannot be undone, but you can choose how you respond. You can soften expectations, protect your capacity, and allow yourself to receive support. Your three spheres Inner circle — Control: Your thoughts, behaviors, words, boundaries, self-talk, and coping strategies. Middle circle — Influence: Areas you cannot fully determine but can affect — relationships, professional outcomes, and communication. Outer circle — Concern: What lies beyond your authority: other people’s emotions, decisions, the past, and uncertain futures.   Many people overextend themselves not because they want to, but because it once kept them safe. If security depended on staying alert, being “good enough,” or keeping others happy, your nervous system may default to hyper-responsibility. Survival strategies — fight, flight, freeze, and fawn — were once adaptive. Over time, they can manifest as chronic stress, anxiety, or the urge to manage everything around you.   For high-achieving professionals and leaders, this can look like carrying everyone else’s emotional load while minimizing your own. Recognizing this pattern allows you to redirect your efforts where they truly matter.   Grief itself can feel disorienting, like walking through a dense forest without a compass. Fatigue, withdrawal, brain fog, insomnia, and reduced productivity are common. Emotions such as anger, confusion, despair, or injustice are not signs that something is wrong — they are part of the healing process.   Returning to your inner circle becomes essential. Your boundaries. Your capacity. Your communication. Allow yourself to lean on others where possible. Express your needs with clarity. “Sometimes the best we can do is the essentials… and that is enough.” I often tell my clients that doing the basics — eating, drinking, attending to personal hygiene, and taking medication — is enough, and it is okay to say, “That is all I can do today, and that is enough.” Mapping your anxiety When everything feels heightened, mapping your anxiety can clarify where your effort is most effective.   Slow down and get curious Ask yourself: What thoughts, situations, or interactions are weighing on me? Approach this with curiosity rather than criticism.   Map it out Inner Circle: Can I take direct action through my choices or coping strategies? Middle Circle: Can I influence this through communication or boundary-setting? Outer Circle: Is this outside my authority — such as someone else’s feelings, the past, or uncertainty?   Breathe and reflect Take a few steady breaths and ask: Where is my effort best directed? This practice helps your body recognize where action is possible and where release is healthier.   One client, overwhelmed by grief after losing a loved one, recognized that returning to work full-time immediately was not realistic. Together, we mapped their anxiety: their own workload was within their control; their ability to influence how supportive their boss and team were fell in the middle circle; and other colleagues’ reactions were in the outer circle.   By communicating honestly with their supervisor and setting clear boundaries, they were able to take gradual steps back into their role, honoring both their emotional capacity and professional responsibilities.[3]   “Healing and growth begin when you shift your focus toward what is truly yours to carry.”   When grief feels heavy, or anxiety swells, the work becomes less about preventing pain and more about responding with care. Relief often lives in small moments: pause, breathe, take one manageable step forward.   “Relief often lives in small moments: pause, breathe, take one manageable step forward.” Gentle practices to find footing Reflect on what is within your control and release what is not. Where might you be overextending yourself in search of steadiness? Write a letter to your loved one or journal about your experience. Honor their life through ritual — share stories, carry forward traditions, plant something in their memory, or contribute to a cause they valued.   A recent loss inspired my family to continue filling blessing boxes and supporting our local food pantries, as our loved one was passionate about helping others and ensuring no one went hungry. Little did she know that her legacy would spread nationally following her passing. It was a beautiful way to honor the life she lived and feel close to her.   These practices help us process grief, safely access core emotions, and foster resilience.[2][3] Healing and growth are not about managing everything around you. They begin when you shift your focus toward what is truly yours to carry. The desire for steadiness is not rigidity — it is adaptability. When you learn to live within your sphere, empowerment follows.   Experiencing loss can feel isolating, but you are not broken. Grief signifies that something meaningful has changed. Things may feel unfamiliar, but that does not mean they are unsafe. With time, support, and self-compassion, your footing strengthens again. If this season feels heavy, support is available when you are ready to reach for it. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from   Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC Lilyan Fowler M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, Founder-Mental Health Counselor Lilyan Fowler, M.S., LPC-Associate, NCC, is the founder of Fowler Counseling, offering accessible virtual therapy across Texas. As a queer, neurodivergent, and disabled therapist, they bring lived experience, empathy, and cultural humility to their work with marginalized communities. Grounded in trauma-informed care and attachment science, Lilyan helps clients build resilience, reconnect with their authentic selves, and define their own vision of personal success. They are dedicated to supporting clients in fostering and maintaining healthy relationships with themselves and others. Through their work, Lilyan strives to make mental health more approachable and inclusive for all. References: [1] Kubler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. Scribner. [2] Greenberg, L. S., & Johnson, S. M. (1988). Emotionally focused therapy for couples. Guilford Press. [3] Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press.

Written by Coleman Housefield, Emotional Regulation Coach The Emotional Regulation Coach regulate your nervous system, co-regulate with your kids and feel safe at all times even when the people around you are dysregulated. For some reason, too many books, podcasts, and marriage counselors promote the idea that a husband’s job is to make his wife happy. If she’s not happy, then somehow, the blame falls on him as a husband. We’ve even got catchy phrases like, “Happy wife, happy life” that just sound good but don’t hold much substance. The reality is, this is all feel-good nonsense. Your wife is an adult, and her happiness is her responsibility—not yours. Likewise, your happiness is your responsibility—not hers. This article aims to shed light on why this belief is flawed and why both partners need to take ownership of their own happiness in a relationship. The problems with believing a husband must make his wife happy One of the main issues with the belief that a husband's responsibility is to make his wife happy is that it creates a parent/child dynamic. Your wife is an adult—she’s not a child. When you take responsibility for her happiness, you're essentially treating her like a child who needs constant guidance, and that can deeply affect the relationship. Additionally, when you’re responsible for your wife’s happiness, you’re bound to get it wrong because you’re not her. You don’t always know what will make her happy, and neither does she at times. In fact, she probably knows herself better than anyone else when it comes to what makes her truly happy. When you try to make her happy all the time, you’ll often fail, which causes frustration for both of you. This leads to resentment because, while you’re spending so much time and energy trying to make her happy, you’re neglecting your own needs. You might also feel frustrated because you probably think it’s her job to make you happy, but she's likely missing the mark just as much as you are. All of this builds tension and negativity in your relationship. Finally, this belief creates pressure and a sense of failure. When you feel that making your wife happy is your job, the stakes are high. If she’s not happy, then you feel like you’re failing in your role as a husband, and that pressure is both unnecessary and damaging to your self-esteem. Our experience: How we lived this belief Abby and I lived like this for the first few years of our marriage. I constantly tried to make her happy, thinking it was my job to do so. And I can confirm—it was a dumpster fire. We didn’t know how to support each other as adults; instead, we were stuck in a toxic cycle of one person trying to fix the other. It wasn’t until we both realized that this wasn’t sustainable that we were able to begin rebuilding a healthier dynamic. What is really your role as a husband? Your job as a husband is to love and support your wife, but not to make her happy. Her happiness is ultimately her responsibility. How she feels is 100% her responsibility, no matter how much she may try to blame you for it. When I talk about this, the biggest pushback I get is that I’m somehow giving husbands permission to be jerks to their wives, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I get where this perspective comes from—especially since society has ingrained the idea that a wife’s happiness is a husband’s duty. But let me be clear: I’m not advocating for husbands to be lazy or to treat their wives poorly. What I’m advocating for is treating each other like adults—because adults are ultimately responsible for their own happiness. In a healthy relationship, your job is to love and support your wife, not to take on the burden of her happiness. The key to a strong marriage A husband’s job is to love his wife unconditionally. Unconditional love means no matter what challenges you’re facing, no matter how your wife treats you, no matter how hard things get, you choose to love her because that’s the commitment you made when you took your vows. Abby and I have been through some rough patches in our 17 years of marriage. During those 17 years, there were moments when Abby was not happy. She was upset, disappointed, or frustrated with me—and I was frustrated with her. There were times when we didn’t like each other, but we still chose to love each other unconditionally, and that’s why we’re still together today. Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean you like them all the time—it means you choose love, even when it’s hard. And sometimes, choosing love means making space for your wife to feel unhappy or upset about something that’s bothering her, without rushing to fix it. How to support your wife effectively in marriage Your wife is an adult, she’s not a child. She doesn’t need you to do everything for her. She doesn’t need you to fix her problems. What she needs is your support. 1. What support sounds like “I can see that you’ve had a hard day or that you’re going through a tough time—how can I support you?” “I can see that you’re upset about something that happened today. Take your time feeling upset, grumpy, or hurt. I’m here for you, and you don’t have to hurry up and be happy for me or the kids.” “I can make space for you to not be okay.” “Here’s what I can do today or this week to support you—take the kids out, clean the house, or make dinner tonight. Or simply let me listen to you for 30 minutes without any distractions. Which of those would feel most helpful to you?” 2. Know your capacity The key here is you don’t offer something you don’t have the capacity to give. Check in with yourself, understand your capacity, and offer the support you can. 3. Support is not fixing Support is you showing up like your wife’s best friend—to support her, not to fix her or the problem. It’s her responsibility to decide what to do with her emotions or issues, and if she wants your opinion, she will ask. You don’t have to agree with her or even fully understand her to support her. You simply have to love her unconditionally and offer your support. Support is not, “Let me do this for you,” it’s, “Let me do this with you. Let me help carry this burden together.” Do you want to break free from being stuck in a cycle of trying make each other happy? I’ve got you! As an emotional regulation coach, my job is to help couples create the best relationships of their lives. A big part of that is taking responsibility for your own emotions, like happiness. I work with individuals and couples, and I’d love to help you and your wife break free from this cycle. When you’re ready, you can book a free initial call with me here . Your relationship with your wife is the most impactful relationship you will ever have—let’s make it the best it can be together. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Coleman Housefield Coleman Housefield, Emotional Regulation Coach Coleman Housefield has spent 20 years coaching and mentoring men and women through the hardest seasons of their lives, but he didn't start this work because he had it all figured out. He began because his own emotions were running his life, and he didn't know how to stop it. Coleman would get dysregulated by his kids, work stress, and things that shouldn't have been a big deal, with no idea how to handle it. Driven by the need for change, he went deep into studying how our nervous systems work, training with the best to build a method that actually works — not just in theory, but in real life with real people who have jobs, families, and little time for fluff. Now, he helps others do what he had to learn the hard way.

Andrew Huberman has become one of the most influential voices at the intersection of neuroscience, performance, and modern work culture. Through his widely followed Huberman Lab podcast and educational platforms, the Stanford neuroscientist is helping translate complex brain science into practical tools that leaders, entrepreneurs, and high performers are increasingly integrating into their daily routines. In recent years, Huberman’s work has gained significant traction among founders and executives seeking evidence-based strategies for improving focus, energy, and decision-making. Rather than relying on motivational frameworks alone, his approach centers on biological mechanisms, from circadian rhythms and dopamine regulation to stress management and cognitive performance. This science-driven perspective reflects a broader shift in how professionals approach productivity and leadership. As work environments become more demanding and information-heavy, many entrepreneurs are turning to neuroscience for insights on sustaining long-term performance without burnout. Huberman’s podcast, which regularly features scientists, clinicians, and experts in human performance, has played a key role in bringing these conversations into the mainstream. Episodes covering topics such as sleep optimization, stress resilience, focus protocols, and the neurobiology of motivation have been widely shared across professional communities and social platforms. The appeal lies in the practical nature of the insights. Rather than abstract theory, Huberman often translates research into specific behavioral protocols, simple adjustments to daily habits that can influence energy, concentration, and mental clarity. For leaders navigating fast-moving industries and complex decision-making environments, this evidence-based approach offers a different kind of toolkit. Instead of emphasizing hustle or constant output, the emerging focus is on understanding how the brain actually functions and designing work habits around those biological realities. The growing influence of neuroscience within business culture signals a shift in how success is being defined. Increasingly, high performance is not just about working harder but about working in alignment with the body’s underlying systems. As the conversation around productivity continues to evolve, Andrew Huberman’s work highlights a broader trend: the future of leadership development may rely as much on biology and cognitive science as it does on strategy and management frameworks.

Written by Hitesh Chellaney, Financial Freedom Coach Hitesh Chellaney is a Financial Freedom Coach, speaker, and author of the upcoming book The 7 Habits of Financially Free People. He helps ambitious professionals master both the inner and outer game of wealth to create a life of true freedom and fulfillment. In the pursuit of financial success, many focus solely on strategies like investing, budgeting, and increasing income, believing these will bring freedom. However, without addressing the inner game of wealth – your identity, values, and environment; financial strategies alone can only take you so far. Most people believe financial success is a strategy problem.   They assume that if they just learn more about investing, optimize their tax structure, improve their budgeting system or increase their income, they will eventually feel financially free. Yet, high earners with solid financial strategies still feel stuck, anxious, or trapped in pressure. This is because wealth is not only a strategy game. It is an inner game. Without mastering the inner game of wealth, no financial strategy will sustainably work. The financial strategy trap Financial strategy matters. Knowledge about investing, taxation, risk management, and business structure is important. I teach these skills myself. But strategy without alignment is like pouring water into a bucket with holes. You can earn more, invest better and work harder. Yet if there are financial energy leaks, you are draining power faster than you build it.   Financial energy leaks look like: saying yes to financial commitments that don’t align with your values overspending to regulate stress avoiding difficult money conversations staying in environments that normalize financial chaos people-pleasing with money   No strategy can outperform chronic leakage. Before optimizing your portfolio, you must close the holes. Wealth is an identity before it is a number   Many people approach wealth as a target.   “When I reach X, I will relax.” “When I earn Y, I will feel safe.”   But goals are temporary. Identity is structural. You do not rise to your financial goals. You default to your financial identity. If your identity does not see you as someone who makes aligned decisions, holds financial boundaries, operates from standards instead of pressure, tolerates short-term discomfort for long-term stability then no strategy will stick.   Identity creates standards. Standards shape daily decisions. Daily decisions compound into financial outcomes. Without identity work, financial strategy becomes forced discipline. The role of values and convictions in wealth building   Financial freedom is not only about earning more. It is about living in alignment with what you truly value. If your financial decisions contradict your values, you create internal friction. That friction drains energy. Values determine direction. Convictions determine strength.   When convictions are weak, you collapse under pressure. From family, society, or your own fear. When convictions are clear, decision-making becomes easier. Wealth is not only built through intelligence. It is built through internal coherence. Environment: The hidden force behind financial behavior   Even with strong identity and values, your environment matters more than you think. You do not default to your highest intentions. You default to what you tolerate.   If your environment normalizes, overwork, financial stress, emotional suppression and poor boundaries, you will unconsciously align with that baseline. Designing your environment − socially, professionally, financially is not optional. It is structural. Nervous system safety and sustainable wealth   There is a deeper layer most people ignore. Your nervous system determines how much financial expansion you can handle.   If growth feels unsafe, you will unconsciously: Retreat after progress Overspend after earning Sabotage stability Avoid scaling   Not because you lack ambition but because your body equates expansion with risk. Real wealth requires nervous system safety. When your identity, values, skills, and environment become congruent, safety increases. Then, strategy finally works. The inner game comes first Financial strategy is powerful. But strategy without inner alignment creates cycles: Push Achieve Contract Repeat   The inner game of wealth is about closing financial energy leaks, creating a vision that feels embodied, upgrading identity and standards, aligning values and convictions, building competence, designing environment and introducing nervous system safety. When these layers align, wealth stops feeling forced. It becomes stable. If you want to explore this work further, you can learn more about my approach to conscious wealth and financial identity at here .   I regularly write and teach about the psychology behind financial freedom, sustainable wealth building, and identity-based standards. Because real financial freedom is not built in spreadsheets. It is built in alignment. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Hitesh Chellaney Hitesh Chellaney, Financial Freedom Coach Hitesh Chellaney is a Financial Freedom Coach, keynote speaker, and founder of Emotioneel Fit Nederland. After reaching the top 1% of earners and realizing success without freedom is empty, he dedicated his life to helping others find fulfillment through financial freedom. He combines psychology, emotional mastery, and wealth strategy to help people heal their relationship with money and design lives that truly serve them. Hitesh is the author of the upcoming book The 7 Habits of Financially Free People, where he distills his signature framework for achieving both wealth and inner peace.