Written by Swati Mukherjee, Relationship Coach & Corporate Trainer Whether at the dinner table or in the boardroom, relationships run on the same patterns. Swati Mukherjee is an ICF-certified Relationship Coach and Corporate Trainer who spent 15 years in HR and psychology before founding Resilient Relationship, helping couples and organisations trade conflict for trust and honest communication. A few years ago, I nearly put one of our highest performers on a Performance Improvement Plan. What stopped me was not the paperwork. It was a coffee, an hour of conversation, and a truth most workplaces never get around to noticing until it has already become expensive. What is relational trust, and why do most workplaces overlook it? Relational trust, as I use the term here, is the degree to which people at work actually know each other beyond their job titles, well enough to ask for help, admit a mistake, or say, “I’m struggling,” without expecting a cost for saying it. Most organisations assume this kind of trust builds itself simply by putting people in the same meetings often enough. It does not. The gap between assuming trust exists and actually building it is where many high-performing teams quietly start to fail. I learned this the hard way in a meeting room I still think about. The employee everyone had already judged A few years earlier, I had stood on a stage and handed this man an award. He was the highest performer in the business. Meticulous and dependable, he was the kind of employee other managers pointed to as proof that the system worked. Then, over several months, something shifted. Small errors started appearing in his reports, the kind he had never made before. Deadlines that used to be handled without a second thought began slipping. Eventually, one of those small errors became a significant financial one, and HR was called in. That was me. By the time I sat down in that meeting room, everyone had already reached the same conclusion: put him on a Performance Improvement Plan. The process existed, the paperwork was ready, and nobody would have questioned the decision. It would have been the easiest thing I did all year. But something about him stopped me. He was not defensive. He was not making excuses. He just looked exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with spreadsheets. So, instead of opening the file, I asked his manager for some time alone with him, and we walked to the cafeteria. What an hour of conversation actually revealed We talked for almost an hour, and barely any of it was about work. He apologised a few times for the mistake, out of habit more than anything. Then, slowly, the real conversation started. His father had died six months earlier. Not long after, his marriage had started coming apart. He was living alone, had not slept properly in months, and was showing up every day carrying grief and exhaustion that nobody around him seemed to know existed. Here is what stayed with me. It was not that his performance had declined. It was that he had been sitting beside the same colleagues, attending the same meetings, and delivering the same reports for months, yet no one seemed to have noticed what he was carrying. The financial error was not the first failure in that story. The relationship was. Why professionalism cannot mean switching people off There is a quiet assumption built into most workplaces: professionalism means arriving as a version of yourself with the personal parts switched off. Leave the grief, the divorce, the sick parent, and the sleepless nights at home, and bring your best self to the desk. People do not actually work that way. Nobody has an on and off switch between the front door and the desk. When someone is unravelling privately, that does not pause because it is nine o’clock on a Tuesday. Pretending otherwise does not make organisations more professional. It simply makes them slower to notice when someone needs support, and that slowness usually appears on a balance sheet before it appears in a conversation. This is not just a feeling. Gallup’s U.S. workplace data from August 2025 found that only 19 percent of employees strongly agreed that they trusted the leadership of their organisation. Gallup also reports that employees perform better when their leaders and managers are trusted and inspirational. The pattern I saw in that meeting room was not an isolated case. It reflects a structural blind spot in how many companies are run. Trust does not lower accountability, it enables it One of the more persistent myths in corporate life is that relationships make teams less serious, somehow softer or less accountable. In practice, I have found the opposite. When people actually know each other beyond a job title, difficult conversations become easier, not harder. Asking for help stops feeling like a confession. Feedback stops landing as an attack. People admit to problems while they are still small instead of waiting until someone else has to find them. This is close to what Google’s internal research on team performance found. Project Aristotle identified psychological safety as the most important of five team dynamics associated with effectiveness at Google. The research found that how team members worked together mattered more than who was on the team. People needed to feel safe enough to admit mistakes, ask questions, offer new ideas, and take interpersonal risks without fear of embarrassment or punishment. Trust does not lower the bar on accountability. It is what makes accountability possible in the first place. What changed when I stopped keeping my distance Early in my career, I joined a team where I never quite felt like I fit. Everyone seemed distant, a little intimidating, and perhaps even arrogant. I kept my head down, did the work, and went home. For a long time, that was the whole relationship. Then, almost by accident, that started to change. We began having conversations that had nothing to do with the project. Lunches. Staying behind after a long day. Birthdays. Ordinary conversations about families, frustrations, and where people wanted their careers to go. The people I had quietly judged from across the room had not changed at all. My understanding of them had. Once that shifted, so did the way we worked. People started offering help before anyone asked for it. Ownership stopped needing to be assigned; it simply showed up. When deadlines became demanding, nobody had to be chased because, by then, we were not just protecting a project. We were protecting each other. That is the part of relational trust that never makes it onto a quarterly report. You will not find it on a dashboard, but it sits underneath every team that holds together when things get hard. In much the same way, a shift away from micromanagement and towards trust-based leadership tends to unlock ownership that no amount of oversight ever could. What we actually did for that employee We did not ignore the financial error, and we did not pretend the mistake had not happened. But we did not rely on the standard process alone. Instead, we added extra checks around his work, redistributed some of his responsibilities, and had an honest conversation about what support actually looked like. His manager understood what he was carrying. His team quietly stepped in where needed without having to be asked. Accountability stayed exactly where it should. But so did compassion, and the two turned out not to be in competition with each other. He recovered. Not long after, so did his performance. The relational debt that eventually appears Looking back, that case taught me something that has held up across every team I have worked with since. High-performing teams rarely collapse because people suddenly become less capable. They collapse because the relationships underneath them have often been quietly weakening long before anyone notices it in the numbers. Performance is often the last place it appears. Long before that, people stop asking questions. They stop admitting when something is wrong. They stop mentioning the concerns that, six months later, turn into the problems nobody saw coming. The strongest organisations I have worked with were never simply the ones with the most talented people in the room. They were the ones where someone could say, “I’m struggling,” out loud and know it would not cost them anything to say it. Relational trust is not a soft skill sitting somewhere below strategy and execution on the list of things that matter. It is the infrastructure everything else is built on, and it is invisible right up until the moment it is not. If you are leading a team and cannot remember the last time someone felt safe enough to tell you something was wrong before it became a crisis, that silence is worth paying attention to. Over the years, I have found that whether the challenge sits in a boardroom or around a dinner table, the patterns are often the same. Everything is relational. The way we build trust, handle conflict, communicate under pressure, and respond to one another shapes the outcome far more than most people realise. That is the work I do. I help individuals, couples, leaders, and organisations understand the relational patterns beneath the visible problem because, once you can see what is really happening between people, lasting change becomes much easier to create. If your relationships, at work or at home, feel like they are carrying more tension than trust, let us have a conversation. Book a call with me, and together we will uncover what is really happening beneath the surface and identify the changes that can create stronger relationships, whether in your organisation or in your personal life. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Swati Mukherjee Swati Mukherjee, Relationship Coach & Corporate Trainer Swati Mukherjee is an ICF-certified Relationship Coach and Corporate Trainer based in London, working with couples on the edge of separation and workplaces where good people quietly become poor managers. After 15 years in HR and psychology watching the same story repeat in exit interviews, she noticed that people leave relationships, not organisations. That insight became Professional Proximity, her framework for rebuilding trust and communication before they break down completely, taught through Resilient Relationship. Her work continues in Proximity, her newsletter on the relational side of work, and her podcast, Relationship Ironies of the World We Live In.

Atlanta, GA – July 15, 2026 – Licensed clinical social worker, speaker, educator, and author Dr. Moniek Garside proudly announces the release of her highly anticipated new book, The Power of Your Pause: From Autopilot to Awareness – The Transformative Power of Stillness. Available beginning July 15, 2026, the book offers readers a practical and compassionate guide to slowing down, reconnecting with themselves, and creating a life rooted in purpose rather than survival. Drawing from nearly two decades of experience in mental health and her own personal journey of resilience, Dr. Garside challenges the cultural belief that constant productivity equals success. Instead, she invites readers to discover how intentional pauses can strengthen emotional well-being, improve relationships, reduce burnout, and create lasting personal transformation. "We often believe we need to keep pushing, producing, and proving ourselves," said Dr. Garside. "But some of life's greatest breakthroughs happen when we pause long enough to truly see ourselves. This book is an invitation to step off autopilot, embrace self-awareness, and choose a life that aligns with who you truly are." More than a self-help book, The Power of Your Pause blends evidence-informed mental health principles, personal reflection, and actionable strategies that empower readers to move from surviving to thriving. Whether navigating stress, major life transitions, burnout, grief, or simply feeling disconnected from themselves, readers will discover practical tools to cultivate mindfulness, establish healthier boundaries, and make intentional choices that support long-term well-being. The release comes at a time when conversations surrounding stress, mental health, and work-life balance have never been more important. Through her compassionate and relatable approach, Dr. Garside reminds readers that slowing down is not falling behind—it is often the first step toward healing, clarity, and meaningful growth. The Power of Your Pause is available in paperback and Ebook through major online retailers, bookstores, and libraries worldwide. To celebrate the release of The Power of Your Pause, Dr. Garside will host a Fireside Chat and Book Signing on Saturday, July 25, 2026, in Atlanta, Georgia. The event will feature an intimate conversation about the inspiration behind the book, the importance of intentional living, and practical ways to incorporate the power of the pause into everyday life. Attendees will have the opportunity to meet Dr. Garside, purchase signed copies of the book, and engage in meaningful conversation centered on mental wellness, resilience, and personal growth. About the author Dr. Moniek Garside, Ph.D., LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, educator, speaker, and founder of FitLife Wellness, LLC. With nearly 20 years of experience in behavioral health, she specializes in helping individuals navigate stress, burnout, anxiety, life transitions, and personal growth through evidence-based and holistic approaches. She is also an Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine and a passionate advocate for mental health awareness and emotional well-being. The Power of Your Pause is her second book, continuing her mission to help others create lives grounded in intention, resilience, and self-awareness. Media contact Dr. Moniek Garside Email Website

Natasha Wallace is an award-winning leadership expert, executive coach, speaker, and creator of the Conscious Leadership Performance System™, a scientifically validated methodology for building healthy, high-performing organisations. After a cataclysmic burnout while leading the people function of a market-leading consulting firm, Natasha set out to answer one question, "Why do leaders suffer, and what would it take to build cultures where they don't have to?" That question became her life's mission, to uplift humanity through conscious leadership and help 100 million people thrive. Formerly a Chief People Officer, Natasha has spent almost a decade advising boards and senior leaders on performance, wellbeing, and burnout prevention, working alongside senior academics at University College London to validate her system. Her work has been adopted by organisations including Xero, Kraken Technologies, the NHS, JP Morgan Chase, Alvarez & Marsal, and the UK Ministry of Defense. She is the author of The Conscious Effect and a friend of Alan Mulally, the former CEO of Ford and Boeing, who has said her work is the clearest articulation of the leadership approach that guided his own career. Natasha Wallace, CEO and Executive Coach Who is Natasha Wallace? I am a mum first and foremost to two wonderful daughters who teach me how to be a better human every day. My role as a mother is closely followed by the activist and humanitarian in me, which is where I spend the majority of my energy when I’m not with friends, going out for dinner, at the cinema, or walking the dog with the kids. I am a prolific self-developer and love to journal, meditate, find time for reflection, and buy lots of books, although I don’t find quite enough time to read them all. I love music, and I try to find time to sing when I can. I was in an acoustic duo called Grateful for a while, and I love spending time with family and friends, usually in forests, in deep debate, or eating good food. I have become more spiritual over the years, as my awareness of the world around me has evolved. I am currently reading The Bhagavad Gita, but I have read plenty of books teaching us the power of self-understanding. I am often awake at night, scribbling down ideas about how we can evolve the way we lead society and how we lead ourselves. I have made it a lifelong mission to help 100 million people through Conscious Leadership. I believe all of my experiences to date have led me towards this mission, and while there is fire in my belly, I will do everything in my power to help make the world a better place. What inspired you to dedicate your work to conscious leadership and workplace wellbeing? About ten years ago, I led the people function at a market-leading consulting firm. I was totally dedicated to my job and worked long hours to make sure we delivered something incredible for the people who worked for us. I took it seriously. Then, without much warning, I burnt out. It was a cataclysmic burnout. In the end, I was a shadow of my former self. Now, if I had known anything about burnout, I would have seen it coming. The anxiety, panic attacks, bad back, migraines, regular breakdowns, inability to think straight, self-doubt, cynicism. I would have known that these were all symptoms of a hyper-stressed system. When one of the senior leaders suggested I take some time off, I would have said yes. When I sat on the living room floor all morning in a catatonic state, after a Board presentation, I would have questioned whether something was a bit off. When I found the thought of setting up my new iPhone totally overwhelming, I knew it wasn’t a healthy response. The fact was, I was in such a crisis that I didn’t see I was on the brink of destruction. Then one day, after my final plea for us to be better as leaders fell on deaf ears, I walked out. The realisation was that I was one of the few leaders who were brave enough to challenge the status quo. Although I thought I was surrounded by friends and allies, once I started to speak more honestly about change, I was on my own. That isolation and disconnection from being able to live my values at work became a death by a thousand cuts. No matter how much I loved my work, the culture broke my spirit. Eventually, it broke me too. That led me on a quest. Firstly, how to stop fellow leaders from burning out and suffering the same fate. Secondly, how to build environments that enable us to fulfill our potential as people. That then became my mission and led me to create a framework of leadership called Conscious Leadership. In your experience, what is the biggest reason leaders and teams burn out today, and how do you help them reverse this? It's rarely what organisations think it is. They look at workload, at hours, at resources. Yes, those things matter. But the root cause I see most consistently, in the research and in the coaching room, is something far more internal. It's the combination of masking your true feelings, making sure everyone else is OK, and pouring your energy into relationships that don't pour back. Leaders are expected to be the steady ones. The ones who hold it together. So they perform wellness while quietly falling apart. The leaders most at risk aren't the disengaged ones. They're the deeply committed ones. The ones who care too much to say they're struggling. So being safe enough to tell the truth about how you are feeling at work matters. Most of the time, leaders don’t tell the truth or express themselves honestly because safety is missing. When the problems that leaders are facing become internal battles, it’s an issue. When I work with a leader who's burning out, the first thing I do is make it safe for them to tell the truth. That sounds simple. It isn't. Most of these leaders haven't told anyone. Not their team, not their partner, not themselves. Just being heard by someone who isn't going to judge them or tell them to push through is often the beginning of everything. When I was going through my own burnout, my coach gave me what she probably thought was tough love. Put up or shut up. She told me that I hadn’t been given the mandate to make the changes I wanted to make and so not to bother. I think she felt that by taking the pressure off myself, I would be happier at work. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Your Conscious Leadership approach is widely recognized. How does your methodology transform the way people lead? I've worked with many leadership models over the years. There are frameworks for managing change, communicating effectively, and having direct conversations with care. All of them, in their own way, are useful. All of them share the same fundamental design flaw. They're fixing downstream problems. They're action-oriented approaches that tell leaders what to do, without first addressing who the leader is and what's going on inside them. They build capability. They rarely build the person. You have to get to the heart of values, beliefs, and self-view to move the dial when it comes to leadership behaviour. I remember running a leadership program many years ago and an engineer saying something that stopped me in my tracks. "This is all fine, referring to the theory we were teaching, but none of us are actually self-aware, so how do we do any of this?" She was right. Nobody in the room had a good answer. Development programs might introduce the concept of self-awareness, but they almost never reach the belief level. It's beliefs that drive everything. The way a leader sees themselves, the assumptions they carry about what leadership requires of them, and the deeply held convictions they hold. Not frameworks. Not capability models. It’s why behaviour often fails to change as a consequence of development programs. They float on the surface of who a person actually is, and it’s not the surface where the change happens. Not in any material sense, anyway. When I work with leaders, we go to the core. What they value. What excites them? What limits them? How they see the world. We work on the being of leadership, not just the doing. That is a fundamental shift. When you help a leader to put their own oxygen mask on too, it’s a focus on wellbeing that no other leadership model has been developed to do. Conscious Leadership sits at the intersection of performance and wellbeing, and that’s a game changer. Can you share a company transformation that shows the impact of Conscious Leadership on performance? I have had the absolute pleasure of spending time with Alan Mulally, who I came to learn, through our friendship, is one of the greatest leaders of our time. Alan was responsible for one of the biggest corporate turnarounds of all time. He took Ford from a $12.7 billion loss in 2006 to a $6.6 billion profit by 2010 in one of the most extraordinary corporate turnarounds in American business history. But what struck me most, having spent real time with Alan, is that it wasn't the financial engineering that saved Ford. It was his mindset. He operated as a Conscious Leader long before either of us had a name for it. At the heart of the turnaround was "Working Together," Alan's own leadership and management system, built on one simple principle, everyone knows the plan, the status, and where attention is needed. He gave Ford one plan, a compelling vision, and a weekly business plan review where telling the truth about barriers was expected, not punished. A clear purpose moved everyone in the same direction, avoiding competing agendas and siloed working. But clarity alone doesn't turn around a business on the brink of collapse. Alan built resilience into the culture itself and made it psychologically safe for people to tell the truth, long before either term was fashionable. He told his people to "expect the unexpected and deal with it, positively," and gave them permission to be honest about what wasn't working. He wanted everyone to feel "seen," to know he had their back, and he was famous for his expression "love 'em up." That combination of high standards held together by genuine care is what saved Ford. That's the long-term impact I care about most. Alan didn't save Ford through sheer force of will. He built a belief system that let Ford save itself, one that people still use today. It's the clearest proof I've seen that sustainable performance isn't a personality trait or a turnaround tactic. It's what happens when purpose, resilience, self-awareness, growth, and togetherness get embedded into how an organisation actually operates. Alan is, quite simply, the embodiment of Conscious Leadership. What are the early warning signs organisations often miss before culture starts to break down? The honest answer is that culture doesn't break down because of strategy failures, market pressures, or organisational structure. They can contribute but they are not the problem. It breaks down because of the leadership mindset fuelling the business. A healthy leadership mindset, fuelled by a human-centered approach, drives a healthy culture. That means you can optimise the potential of the organisation because you optimise the potential of the humans working within it. Healthy cultures are led by senior leaders who aren’t threatened by the voice of the people. They are grounded and humble enough to listen, even when the going gets tough, and they welcome challenges. They are evolved enough to hear the truth because they know it’s the only way to make things better. They have a healthy relationship with themselves and the people around them, and they achieve that through awareness and trust, trust in others, but more importantly, trust in themselves. They create psychological safety not as a program or an initiative, but as a natural consequence of how they show up, making it OK to be human, giving people freedom to work in ways that suit them, accepting that things go wrong, and learning rather than reacting to the mishaps. They don’t punish or blame people, they recognise the imperfection of being human, and they work hard to bring out the best in everyone. These leaders are grounded and calm under pressure. They pay attention to how people are feeling. They set clear boundaries to protect their own energy. They do what they say they're going to do. Because they're honest, they create environments where others can be honest too, where people don't have to hide things or perform a version of themselves that isn't real. They are regulated, self-aware, and they manage their ego because they understand it. Then there's the other kind of leader. This is where culture quietly begins to die. They stop listening. They make excuses for why things aren't working. They downplay the problems people raise, or worse, label people as negative, dismiss them, or blame them. When things go wrong, they look outward for someone to hold responsible. They micromanage and remove essential resources, which makes people fearful and kills decision-making. All the while, they're not sensing the team's energy, not reading what's out of kilter, not responding to what people actually need. What they're doing, though they may not realise it, is damaging the nervous system of their team. A stressed system performs worse, gets sick more often, and eventually breaks down. The thing that makes this particularly insidious is that it’s often hard to spot and it spreads. A high-performing person being led in this way will often end up feeling less empowered, less able to make good-quality decisions, and less curious, with their performance impacted as a result. What should be conditions for high performance, genuine trust, empowerment, and a growth mindset, get quietly replaced by control, reactivity, and unawareness. The early warning signs are rarely dramatic. There's a slight drop in people speaking up. A few more excuses in leadership conversations. A little less follow-through. A little more blame. By the time it looks like a culture problem, it's been a leadership problem for a long time. Many companies try wellbeing initiatives that fail. What do you believe they’re getting wrong, and how do you help them course-correct? I had a leader come to a coaching session a few months ago, saying that he needed to start looking after himself and that he needed to go back to the gym. I told him that he wasn’t going to start going to the gym until he tackled the way he was feeling. He had lost his mojo. I had a feeling that until he figured out why, he would be building on shaky foundations, and so that’s where we started. He talked about how he had built a successful business in the past, how he had so many ideas for the company he now worked for, but that his ideas were falling on deaf ears and that he’d lost his autonomy. What transpired was that he had also lost his confidence. An old HR Director of mine once said to the CEO, about how he was leading me, not to push competence to the point of incompetence. That’s what was happening to him. He was being impacted by the executive team's direction and it was disempowering him. He saw it as a personal failure. Having understood the source of the discomfort and once he had realised that it wasn’t his fault, his mojo came flooding back. The gym started back up as a natural consequence of his energy coming back. I've talked about this for years, and we're still focusing on the wrong things when it comes to mental health. When we put our investment into creating healthy leaders and culture, everything else flows from that. It's the inner work that creates wellbeing, not the plasters we put on the cuts that have already been created. A small side note here. This story doesn’t necessarily point to the fact that the executive team was ineffective. Leaders will make mistakes. They will miss cues. They will think they are doing or saying the right things, and it will have a negative impact. Leaders are humans too. However, when you have a safe culture where people can speak up about what’s not working, changes can be made. This leader that I was coaching couldn’t tell the truth, and so the truth left unheard started to break him. That was my story too. What core principles from your book The Conscious Effect do you most want leaders to embody right now? If I had to pick the principle I most want leaders to sit with right now, it's this, you can't lead well until you know yourself. In the book, I call this being AWAKE. The question underneath it is simple, what is going on in and around me? "The identity we assume as a leader influences our decision-making, thinking and behaviour," and until you've done the work to actually see who you are, you're leading on autopilot. That's been the single most transformational shift in my own life. Understanding myself, my patterns, my triggers, the stories I tell myself, gave me the ability to step back and look at the world more objectively, rather than reacting to it from old wiring I never chose in the first place, from childhood, formative experiences, and so on. I write in the book that "most of us don't really know ourselves that well," and that self-deception blinds us to the true cause of our problems. That was certainly true for me. So much of what I used to find frustrating or personally wounding in other people, in situations, and in myself, wasn't really about them at all. It was about parts of me I hadn't looked at yet. I still get things wrong. I'm still learning. But I experience far less of that frustration and annoyance now because I understand where it's coming from, and understanding it takes its power away. That's the gift of self-knowledge. It doesn't make you perfect. It makes you honest with yourself, and that honesty is what lets you finally accept who you are. I talk in the book about the masks we all wear, the ones that "protect us from getting hurt and feeling discomfort," but that, worn too long, keep us from being our authentic selves. I know that mask well. I wore it for years before my own burnout forced me to take it off. Because I've done that work on myself, I'm now driven to build environments where other people don't have to wear theirs, where it's safe to tell the truth and be who you actually are, even when that's hard. That's the real work of Conscious Leadership. Not fixing people. Helping them find themselves, the way I had to find myself, so they can lead, and live, with a bit more truth. What is the most valuable first step a leader or company can take if they want to create a healthier, more human-centred workplace? The first step is to recognise the central idea that people need to feel psychologically safe to deliver sustainable results. Without believing that fundamental truth, nothing human-centered is likely to happen or stick. I didn’t always understand that. Fifteen years ago, we talked about the change curve, communicating well, consulting with people, and taking people on the journey. We rarely talked about how people actually felt. I sensed when people weren't feeling great and knew we needed to make them feel good to allow them to perform, but I didn’t really understand the nuanced day-to-day behaviors that actually enable a team to feel consistently good, so they came to work feeling motivated to deliver. We did a piece of research a few years ago called Project Bright Spot. A team of leaders from organisations like BT, Oracle, and St John Ambulance, supported by an incredible academic from University College London, wanted to understand the traits of outstanding leaders. We interviewed people whose lives had been positively impacted by their leader and then decoded what they did. The leaders who had the most transformational impact demonstrated these traits, they see you, they have your back, they are present, they trust you, they set clear direction, they are not afraid of challenge, and they stretch you. On average, the leaders we studied displayed six of the seven, and 47% displayed all seven, which told us something important. Conscious Leadership isn't one trait wearing different faces, it's the combination that makes the difference. A leader needs to understand these traits because each does a different job. Being seen and present is what unlocks energy and builds followership. Ninety-two percent of our interviewees described feeling truly seen by their leader, and that's what made people want to perform for them, not just for a title. Having someone's back and trusting them is what builds the safety that lets people tell the truth without fear. Setting a clear direction while still being willing to challenge and stretch people is what turns that safety into growth, rather than comfort. I don't see these as a checklist of nice-to-haves. They're the operating traits of a leader who gets the best out of people, sustainably, without burning them out in the process. For organisations reading this who are ready to elevate performance without burning people out, what can they expect when they start working with you? My first job is to see the leaders. That’s what makes this work different. When you create a safe space for leaders to speak up, to be themselves, to tell the truth, and when you give them permission to take care of themselves, things shift. The leader becomes the team member, the human, the person who needs to be seen. It releases the burden they carry, and it boosts their performance. It helps them to become more conscious. In my work with senior academics at University College London, we found that when leaders become more conscious, they produce better results. They are more satisfied, they are more engaged, and they are less likely to burn out. They contribute more to their organisation. Just sharing this story starts that journey. That is why I speak about this a lot. I was the leader who broke, and often, through my own vulnerability, it creates a big, wide-open space for other leaders to step into, and they do. The energy that unleashes in an organisation is profound. It transforms leaders. When leaders transform, they transform their organisation. That is good for them, and it’s good for every single stakeholder, including the shareholders. When leaders are given permission to become more conscious, everyone wins. If any of this speaks to where you or your organisation is right now, you may contact me here or visit my website. I’d love to hear from you. Follow me on LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Natasha Wallace

Written by Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington, Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington are the Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, a wellness practice focused on energy healing, frequency wellness, and holistic transformation. Together, they combine intuitive healing modalities with compassionate client care to support emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Many of us keep promising we'll make time for ourselves, only to let work, family, and endless responsibilities push our well-being further down the list. This article explores why prioritizing wellness matters, how accessible remote holistic support can help remove common barriers, and why making space for self-care today may be one of the most important investments we can make in our overall health. When did we stop making ourselves a priority? "I'll make time for myself next week." It's a promise many of us have made. Next week we'll slow down. Next week we'll finally book the appointment we've been putting off. Next week we'll begin taking better care of ourselves. But next week becomes next month. Then next year. Life gets busy. Work demands more. Families need us. Our calendars become filled with responsibilities, and by the end of the day, we're often physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Somewhere along the way, wellness became another task to squeeze into an already impossible schedule. At Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, we've learned something through years of supporting people from many different backgrounds. Most people don't neglect their wellness because they don't care. They neglect it because life gets in the way. Ironically, the people who need time to recharge the most are often the ones who believe they simply don't have the time. That realization challenged us to think differently. Instead of asking, "How do we get people to come to us?" we began asking, "How can wellness meet people where they are?" That single question has shaped everything we do. Meeting people where they are One of the philosophies that guides our work is simple. Healing begins by meeting people where they are, not where they think they should be. When we say that, we don't simply mean geographically. We mean physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically. Every person arrives with a different story. Some are navigating burnout after years of putting everyone else first. Some are grieving. Others are balancing careers, raising families, caring for aging parents, or living with ongoing stress that has quietly become their new normal. Healing doesn't begin when life is perfect. It begins exactly where someone is today. Sometimes that's inside our wellness center in Port Perry, Ontario. Other times, it's from a living room, hundreds or even thousands of miles away. Over the years, we've had the privilege of supporting clients throughout Canada and internationally, including India, Colombia, California, Arizona, New Mexico, and England. Distance has never changed our intention. It has simply changed how we deliver support. Whether someone visits us in person or connects with us remotely, our goal remains the same, to create a safe, compassionate environment where they can slow down, reconnect with themselves, and feel supported on their wellness journey. Thinking outside the box Modern life doesn't always leave room for wellness. For many people, attending an appointment isn't simply an hour out of their day. It's arranging childcare, leaving work early, driving across town, finding parking, driving home again. By the time they return home, they're often more exhausted than when they left. We've heard countless people say, "I know I need this. I just don't have the time." That statement stayed with us. Instead of expecting people to work harder to fit wellness into their already busy lives, we asked ourselves a different question. What if wellness became more accessible? Remote wellness sessions weren't created to replace in-person care. They were created to remove barriers, to allow a parent caring for young children to receive support without leaving home, to help a healthcare professional relax after a demanding shift instead of driving another hour, and to make wellness available to someone traveling for work or living hundreds of miles away. Sometimes thinking outside the box isn't about changing the care. It's about changing how we deliver it. Sometimes making wellness more accessible is all someone needs to finally say yes. Can wellness really happen hundreds of miles away? This is probably the question we're asked most often. "How can a session work if I'm not even in the same room?" It's a thoughtful question, and one we genuinely appreciate. Practices such as Reiki have included distance sessions for decades, and many practitioners around the world have incorporated remote work into their practices for years. At Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, our work is guided by the understanding that energy is dynamic rather than fixed. From our perspective, meaningful connection isn't necessarily limited by physical distance. At the same time, we recognize that people come to these experiences with different beliefs and perspectives. Some understand them through the lens of energy. Others through intention, mindfulness, or simply by creating dedicated time to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with themselves. Rather than asking anyone to accept one explanation, we simply invite people to remain open, curious, and to experience it for themselves. For us, the most important question isn't, "How do we prove this?" It's "How can we create a meaningful experience that allows someone to relax, reconnect, and support their own wellness?" What does a remote session look like? One of the biggest misconceptions about remote wellness sessions is that clients spend the entire session sitting in front of a computer screen. In reality, most of our remote Reiki, Biofield Tuning, and intuitive wellness sessions are interactive. Rather than beginning with a detailed discussion about what may be happening in a client's life, we usually begin by quietly working within their energy field. This allows us to experience the session as openly and authentically as possible, without being influenced by their story or expectations. As the session unfolds, we begin sharing our intuitive impressions and energetic observations. We discuss areas that appear to hold energetic congestion or imbalance, assess the energetic balance of the chakra system, and explain what we're noticing as the session progresses. Only then does the conversation naturally develop. Many clients are fascinated when our observations resonate with experiences they haven't yet shared. From there, they are free to participate in whatever way feels most comfortable. Some enjoy talking throughout the session, sharing what they are experiencing physically, emotionally, or energetically. Others simply choose to lie back, relax, meditate, or close their eyes. Some even fall asleep. There is no right or wrong way to experience a session. Some clients become emotional and begin to cry. Others notice warmth, tingling, or gentle sensations moving throughout their body. Some experience involuntary shaking or twitching, while others simply feel deeply relaxed. From our perspective, these responses often coincide with a person allowing themselves to relax deeply and release stress or emotions they may have been holding onto. Many clients tell us they leave the session feeling lighter, calmer, more centered, and with a greater sense of clarity. Our intention is never to force an experience. It is to create a compassionate, supportive environment where each person feels safe enough to relax, release, reconnect, and simply allow the session to unfold naturally. The Harmonic Egg® Experience The Harmonic Egg® experience is intentionally different. Before a remote Harmonic Egg® session begins, we spend time speaking with the client about what they hope to receive from the experience and help them establish a personal intention. We often describe the Harmonic Egg® as creating a safe cocoon, a peaceful space where individuals can let go of the outside world and simply receive. During a remote session, clients listen to their personalized music from the comfort of their own home while we facilitate the session using their photograph. Unlike our interactive sessions, this becomes their personal journey. There is nothing they need to do. Nothing they need to figure out. Nothing they need to fix. Our role is simply to hold space while they allow themselves permission to rest, reset, and trust the process. For many people, this uninterrupted time becomes one of the greatest gifts they can give themselves. Every session is unique Many people ask us, "What should I expect during a session?" The honest answer is that no two sessions are ever the same. Every individual brings different experiences, different stressors, different emotions, and different life circumstances. Some people experience deep relaxation. Some become emotional. Others notice warmth, tingling, or gentle movement throughout their body. Some receive moments of clarity or personal insight. Every experience is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to experience a session. Our role is not to create an experience. It is to provide a safe, supportive environment where each person can simply be present with whatever arises. Supporting self-awareness For clients who choose this option, we also provide a personalized written report following their session. These reports summarize our intuitive impressions, energetic observations, recurring themes, and areas that appeared to need attention during the session. Many clients tell us they revisit these reports weeks or even months later, often discovering new insights as they continue their personal journey. Rather than telling someone what decisions to make, our intention is to encourage curiosity, self-awareness, and reflection. Sometimes, seeing recurring patterns written down helps people better understand what they have been feeling all along. Why we believe in remote wellness One of the reasons we feel so strongly about offering remote wellness sessions is that we've experienced them ourselves. On separate occasions while traveling, each of us found ourselves in situations where visiting the center simply wasn't possible. While Lori was vacationing in New Brunswick, she wasn't feeling like herself. Rather than waiting until she returned home, Lisa facilitated a remote Harmonic Egg® session while Lori remained where she was, allowing her the opportunity to rest and receive support. Months later, the roles were reversed. While Lisa was away on vacation, unexpected circumstances made it difficult to relax and enjoy the experience. Lori recognized that something wasn't quite right and facilitated a remote Harmonic Egg® session, giving Lisa the opportunity to pause, reset, and reconnect before continuing her holiday. Those experiences reinforced something we had already come to believe. Support doesn't always require people to be in the same room. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer another person is creating the time and space for them to feel supported, wherever they happen to be. They also reinforced something we've always believed. Healing begins by meeting people where they are. Sometimes that's in our wellness center. Sometimes it's across the country. Sometimes it's on the other side of the world. Distance has never changed our intention to support another person with compassion, presence, and care. Looking beyond the symptoms to the root cause Lisa's background managing medical clinics and Lori's years of experience supporting children with special needs have given us a unique perspective on wellness. We have enormous respect for conventional healthcare and the incredible work medical professionals do every day. At the same time, our experiences have taught us that while symptoms often tell us what is happening, they don't always explain why. That curiosity has become an important part of our work. We encourage people to explore what may be contributing to their feelings rather than simply accepting stress, exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, or chronic tension as normal. Sometimes those experiences are connected to the pace of modern life. Sometimes they relate to unresolved emotions, chronic stress, or a nervous system that has been under pressure for far too long. Our role is not to diagnose illness, prescribe treatment, or replace medical care. Rather, we create a compassionate space where people can slow down, reconnect with themselves, and become curious about what their body, mind, and emotions may be trying to communicate. We believe the body has an incredible capacity to restore balance when given the opportunity to feel safe enough to relax, release, and reconnect. Whenever someone has ongoing pain, persistent symptoms, or concerns about their health, we always encourage them to continue working with their physician or healthcare practitioner. From our perspective, conventional healthcare and holistic wellness don't need to compete with one another. We believe the most supportive approach is one where they work alongside each other, each contributing to a person's overall well-being. Our role is to complement, not replace, medical care by creating time and space for people to relax, release what no longer serves them, restore balance, and reset in a way that supports their overall wellness. Sometimes healing begins not by asking, "How do I make this symptom disappear?" but instead by gently asking, "What is my body trying to tell me?" A different way of looking at wellness Perhaps the greatest lesson we've learned is this. Wellness isn't something we should squeeze into the spaces left over after we've taken care of everyone else. It deserves to become part of the way we choose to live. Whether that's creating time for a remote wellness session, spending a few quiet moments in reflection, or simply paying attention to the whispers before they become something louder, every small step matters. We believe healthcare and holistic wellness each have an important role to play. One helps us when illness demands our attention. The other encourages us to create the time and space to support our wellness before illness does. Together, they can provide a more complete approach to caring for the whole person. At Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, our hope is that people leave every session feeling more connected to themselves, to their bodies, and to the understanding that healing is often a journey rather than a destination. We believe healing begins by creating the space to slow down. To listen. To become curious. To reconnect with who we are beneath the noise of everyday life. Because the question isn't whether we're willing to make time for wellness. The question is whether we're willing to make time for wellness before we're forced to make time for illness. Healing isn't about returning to who you once were. It's about releasing what no longer serves you, restoring balance, and creating a life that aligns with who you are today and who you choose to become tomorrow. Continue your journey If you're new to energy healing and frequency-based wellness and would like to learn more, we invite you to visit here and download our complimentary ebook, Energy Healing & Frequency, available in the Shop section of our website. Whether you're exploring holistic wellness for the first time or simply curious to learn more, we hope it encourages you to think differently about wellness and inspires you to make yourself a priority before life makes that decision for you. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington, Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness Lisa Dunn and Lori Sherrington are the Co-Founders of Inner Vision Healing & Wellness, a wellness practice focused on energy healing, frequency wellness, holistic transformation, and autonomic nervous system reset. Both Lisa and Lori have experienced personal health challenges, which inspired their passion for holistic healing and for helping others reconnect with balance, clarity, and self-healing. Lisa brings more than 20 years of healthcare leadership experience and is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, Reiki Master, Harmonic Egg Guardian, and author. Lori specializes in Biofield Tuning and Reiki and also works closely with children with special needs as an Educational Assistant, with knowledge of American Sign Language (ASL).

Chitra Soerdjbalie is an international model, entrepreneur, and founder of Curated Moments by Chitra. In this exclusive interview, she shares how confidence, visibility, and authentic leadership have shaped her journey from her first international runway to building two purpose-driven brands. She also explores why representation matters, how meaningful experiences create lasting impact, and why women should never wait for permission to take up space. Chitra Soerdjbalie, Business Owner You’ve built a career across modelling and entrepreneurship; what first made you realize that visibility could become a powerful tool for leadership? For a long time, I thought visibility was simply about being seen. Over the years, I realised it is much more than that. When people see someone stepping outside of expectations, they often feel encouraged to do the same. Through modelling and entrepreneurship, I discovered that showing up authentically can inspire confidence in others. To me, leadership isn't about being the loudest person in the room; it's about creating space where others feel empowered to step forward too. After walking your first international runway at Milan Fashion Week in 2022, what changed most in how you viewed yourself and your potential? Walking my first international runway was a defining moment. It wasn't just about fashion; it was proof that opportunities can become reality when you are willing to pursue them. It reminded me that growth begins outside your comfort zone. That experience gave me the confidence to dream bigger, trust my abilities, and stop placing limits on what I thought was possible. As a curvy model, what conversations about representation do you think the fashion industry still needs to have? We've made progress, but representation should become the standard rather than the exception. Diversity is about more than body size; it's about reflecting real people with different backgrounds, cultures, ages, and stories. Everyone deserves to feel seen. Fashion has the power to influence confidence, and with that comes the responsibility to show that beauty exists in many forms. What have brands gained when they move beyond traditional ideas of beauty and embrace more authentic representation? Authenticity builds trust. Consumers connect with brands that reflect the world they live in, rather than an unrealistic ideal. When people genuinely see themselves represented, they feel included and valued. That creates stronger relationships, greater loyalty, and ultimately a more meaningful impact than simply following trends. You often connect fashion and event planning through storytelling; what makes a memorable experience regardless of the industry? People rarely remember every detail, but they always remember how something made them feel. Whether it's a fashion campaign, a runway show, or a carefully curated event, the most memorable experiences create an emotional connection. Both industries are about bringing a vision to life, paying attention to the smallest details, and creating moments that leave a lasting impression. What is one practical way someone can build confidence when they feel hesitant about being seen or heard? Start before you feel completely ready. Confidence isn't something that appears overnight; it's something you build through action. Every small step, speaking up in a meeting, sharing your work, or saying yes to an opportunity, helps strengthen your confidence. Waiting until you feel fearless often means waiting forever. For entrepreneurs building a personal brand, what helps create genuine connections rather than simply attracting attention? Authenticity. People connect with people, not perfection. Sharing your journey, your lessons, and even your challenges creates trust because it shows you're real. A personal brand shouldn't be about creating an image that impresses everyone; it should reflect your values and allow the right people to connect with you for who you truly are. You often speak about creating opportunities instead of waiting for them; how has that mindset shaped your own journey? Many of the opportunities I've had didn't simply appear, they started because I took the initiative. I reached out, introduced myself, applied, travelled, and said yes to experiences that felt both exciting and intimidating. I've learned that growth often begins with one courageous decision. If I had waited for the perfect moment, many of the milestones I'm proud of today would never have happened. What is one message you hope women carry with them when they decide to step into greater visibility and leadership? Don't wait until you feel perfect before taking your place. Your voice, your story, and your perspective already have value. Leadership isn't about fitting into someone else's definition of success; it's about leading with authenticity, lifting others as you grow, and having the courage to be visible exactly as you are. Sometimes the simple act of showing up is enough to inspire someone else to do the same. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Chitra Soerdjbalie

Written by Mark Branson, Leadership Theorist Mark Branson has combined 20 years of experience, 5 State Titles, and one World Record into the first advancement in leadership theory in 50 years. Branson's first book, The Illusion of Competence, introduced perception-based leadership. Branson's second book, Unified Leadership Theory (2025), advances the theory further. People equate perception-based leadership with two things, “fake it till you make it” and manipulation. The “fake it till you make it” perception stems from The Illusion of Competence, the element that harnesses the power of perception. Competence is an illusion because you do not determine your level of competence in anything that you do. Your competence is found in the perceptions of others. The inability of others to reach a consensus on your competence in anything you do is what makes competence an illusion. The harshest example is that someone thinks you are the best lover they have ever had, while someone else thinks you are the worst lover they have ever had. Both are right, proving the illusory nature of your competence. To execute The Illusion of Competence, you must be competent. That whiteboard must be filled out. That document must be in the binder. That email must be sent. It cannot slip your mind. You cannot make excuses. You cannot drop the ball, ever. “Fake it till you make it” implies that you do not know what you are doing. The Illusion of Competence does not. People hear “perception-based” and think they must be getting manipulated. They assume you are trying to change people’s perceptions to control them in some way. Employees follow ideas. If employees like an idea, they engage. If employees do not like an idea, they disengage. Employees use perception to decide whether an idea is good or bad. Employees perceive bad ideas immediately, so it stands to reason that they also perceive good ideas just as quickly. Perception based leadership is about having better ideas, not better perceptions. When companies introduce better ideas, perceptions of those ideas naturally change. Employees know a good idea when they see one, but leadership does not always know whether an idea is good when they introduce it. Unified Leadership defines good ideas through The Law of Engagement and The Three Tenets. The law of engagement The further an idea originates from those impacted, the less those impacted will embrace the idea. The three tenets: Make their job easier. Make them better at their jobs. Improve customer service. Employees will embrace corporate ideas that satisfy one of the Three Tenets. All other ideas are rejected based on distance alone. There are different perceptions, not better perceptions. Perception-based leadership changes leadership’s approach to strategy. Employees cannot be mandated to change their perceptions. The only way to change an employee’s perception is to change the actions that caused the perception in the first place. People have preconceived notions about how perception-based leadership works. Ironically, that happens to be how perceptions work. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Mark Branson Mark Branson, Leadership Theorist Mark Branson set the world record for the arcade game Asteroids in 1981, playing for 55 hours in a quarter. Branson then applied his concepts of greatness to winning 5 New Mexico state racquetball titles over a 15-year career. Branson then created a leadership theory from scratch, combining 30 years of leadership experience and his habit of winning into the first advancement in leadership thought since the turn of the century.

Written by Terri Lee Ryan, Lifestyle Author, Speaker, Career Coach Terri Lee Ryan has built a writing, media production and speaker platform. As a lifestyle author, TV producer, career coach and advocate, she brings underrepresented stories to a mainstream audience. Life for a woman is complicated. It seems we have more to do than our male counterparts. We are the mother, the wife, the caregiver, the dog walker, the executive, the planner of vacations, the cook, the lover, and the leader of the family structure. We have unspoken responsibilities and are depended on more than we get credit for. No doubt, women are the best at multitasking, as they are born for it. It is in their DNA. Then, one day, you are in your forties, sorting through your closet and looking for your favorite summer sandals, when your heart starts pounding and you break out in a sweat, something that has never happened to you before. You instinctively fear you are having a heart attack. Thankfully, it is not a heart attack. It is just your first hot flash! It appears out of nowhere, yet it is the beginning of the hormonal cycle called perimenopause, which simply means you are headed for menopause sometime within the next ten years. In the meantime, your hormones are all over the place. Some days, they are raging, and your sex drive is on overload. Other times, you forget all about sex, as if it were never important to you. The panic You panic because you do not have time in your life for a hormonal imbalance, and you think, “This cannot be happening to me.” You are too young. You still have kids in grammar school. You think menopause is for older women, so you cannot be that person. Well, the fact is, you are. You are not old. You are simply going through the beginning of menopause, when life becomes different. Having children later than our parents did means we really are dealing with everything at once. Our parents are living much longer, our kids are much younger, our jobs are more demanding, and holding on to a comfortable lifestyle is more challenging than ever due to the rising cost of everything. Then there is AI, which is changing the way we live and do business. Oh, and yes, maintaining our relationship with our husband, significant other, or the father of our children is another challenge. Dealing with the madness Of course, it is more than a hormonal imbalance that makes you feel as though, on some days, you cannot deal with the stress of your life. Everything appears to be closing in on you, with demands coming from everyone around you. You know that kind of day when everyone needs your help at the same time. Your mother calls crying and looking for someone to talk to because she is lonely. Your daughter has just been stopped by the police because she was driving without a license. Your husband has just learned that his department is being downsized and that he may lose his job. Your air conditioning unit has stopped producing cool air during a summer heat wave. All of this is happening when your hormonal changes have left you with a pounding migraine headache, making you feel as though someone has placed your skull in a vise and twisted it tightly. Fortunately, this does not happen every day. Yet, when it does, it feels as though we are going mad because we cannot solve all these issues for the people we care about most. When this happens, our own mental health suffers because there are no easy solutions. It is a process. It is called life, and sometimes life becomes overwhelming, leaving us consumed with fear. The good news is that it happens to everyone. Sometimes, we just need a friend to talk to who can calm us, a therapist, a minister, or some good pain medication to take the intense pain away, at least for the migraine headache. Learning how to manage your stress Learning how to better manage stress seems to be the most obvious solution. But how do you regain your sense of calm when your world is seemingly collapsing? How are you able to step back and deal with the issues? Truly, it is not easy. Everywhere you look these days, there is chaos, not just in your personal life. We live in a world filled with many changes that have been accelerated by technology. It is simply much more complicated nowadays to navigate life. This is something we can all agree on. Managing stress is an art. For most of us, it is a learned trait. However, I have always admired the few people I have met over the years who appear to handle everything they encounter with ease, as if they were born with a calm soul. Certainly, that person was never me. I was the one with the anxious mother who passed her anxiety on to me as a child. I bit my fingernails until first grade. I have had to learn how to manage my stress, and some days, I am better at it than others. Drinking martinis There was a time in my life when I dealt with stress by drinking vodka martinis. It was my favorite cocktail at the end of the day. I was never a big drinker. I never liked the taste of alcohol. I would always mix my vodka with grapefruit or orange juice to diminish the taste. As the years went on and the layers of responsibility accumulated, I drank my vodka with less juice and ice. Straight martinis with salty olives became my preferred cocktail. My former husband was once a bartender and made me four ounce martinis that eventually led me to rehab for alcohol. It was not his fault. I liked my martinis a bit too much. So, I learned how to manage my stress without alcohol. It seems that once I started to stop and acknowledge how I felt about painful experiences in my life, rather than operating on autopilot, doing whatever everyone else wanted, and ignoring my own feelings, I became better at dealing with stress. Learning how to say no The definition of madness is making the same mistake over and over again. Most of us have been there, hoping for a different result from the same situation. I believe most of us are optimists and feel the need to make something work, sometimes at all costs. This includes being in a toxic marriage, staying in an unfulfilling job, or being used as a scapegoat by a parent. Many of us fall into a pattern of living with the madness in our lives rather than saying no. The reality is that saying no is difficult for many of us. At least, it was for me, as I had become accustomed to navigating rough waters and helping others through their storms, often at my own expense. The freedom gained from learning how to say no is amazing. We do not need to fix everyone else’s issues. It is enough that we are ourselves. It is an important passage in life that seems to begin when we finally reach a point where we can live for ourselves. With menopause approaching, the window for having children has all but closed, our hormones have changed how we carry our weight, and mood swings may become more common. Yet, we need to finally be able to look at our lives, consider who we are and what we want, and learn how to focus on our own needs. The reward Our husbands, children, parents, friends, and jobs may still be the same, yet we are different. We are on this beautiful journey of learning to love ourselves, look at ourselves in the mirror, and know that we are going to be okay. When we love ourselves, the acceptance of who we are and the wonderful possibilities ahead for our own growth and happiness are endless. Once we learn how to love ourselves unconditionally and without expectations, we can begin to truly embrace the day to day issues with the belief that everything is going to be okay. We will make it, no matter what comes our way. We determine how we feel, rather than allowing others to decide how we should feel. We make decisions based on our own experiences, not on public opinion or fear. The stronger we are emotionally, the better wives, mothers, and daughters we can be, and the more fulfilling our lives will become. We have earned our right, as women entering menopause, to know that we are indeed fearless, strong, and self aware. It is okay if we are a little mad, drink too many martinis on occasion, or break out in a hot sweat. You will look back one day and see that these are the best days of your life! Make your time count! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Terri Lee Ryan Terri Lee Ryan, Lifestyle Author, Speaker, Career Coach As a lifestyle author, TV producer, career coach, and advocate, Terri has brought underrepresented stories to a mainstream audience. From her documentary, " I Married a Crossdresser" airing on SKY UK to a finalist for two of her projects in at the New York TV Film Festival, she has championed women over 40 and the transgender community with humor, honesty and heart. A popular writer, she has been a featured columnist and blogger for Chicago Tribune -ChicagoNow, Today's Chicago Woman magazine, The Huffington Post, Sister House, and Frock sites. She is the author of Life is one Big To-Do List: A Woman's Life After 40 and a thought leader on the transgender community with her podcast Shades of Gender.

Written by Wai CS Wong, Legal English Consultant and Textbook Writer Steven Wong is a Legal English Consultant and Textbook Writer with 15 published books. He is currently working on his novel about HK post 1997. There is a moment in mahjong when you understand that winning is no longer the point. Your hand is broken, and others are close. What matters now is what you choose not to give away. I’ve been thinking about this in relation to the law, with regard to four principles that lawyers have spent centuries arguing over in Latin and English, which were already sitting on the mahjong table, waiting to be noticed. The game isn’t a metaphor for the law. It is something more uncomfortable than that. It is a demonstration that ordinary people, without legal training or Latin vocabulary, have been applying the same underlying logic for generations. The tile you cannot take back In mahjong, a discard is final. The moment a tile leaves your hand and touches the table, or even the moment another player's eyes register it, it’s gone. You can’t hesitate or reconsider. There is no appeal. The table doesn’t care about your intentions. English law has a doctrine for this. It is called estoppel, and it prevents a party from contradicting a position they have previously asserted when someone else has relied on it. If you told your tenant the rent was frozen and they made financial decisions accordingly, you cannot later chase them for the difference. You put the tile down, so it is no longer yours. The problem is that estoppel is one of those words that does the opposite of its job. It signals complexity while obscuring the underlying logic, which is both simple and ancient. When Hong Kong's legislators translated the term into Chinese for the 1997 handover, they produced 不容反悔原則, the principle of not being permitted to go back on one’s word. It is entirely accurate, but it’s also several characters where the mahjong table needs none. Every player at every table, in every dialect, already knows the rule in their hands. The law has spent centuries failing to explain what the game teaches in the first discard. The kong declaration and the stopped clock When a player declares a kong, a set of four identical tiles, the whole table is interrupted. Play pauses while an extra tile is drawn. Every other player must reconsider their position around an action they didn’t initiate and couldn’t prevent. This is an injunction. Specifically, it is the interlocutory injunction, the urgent, unilateral application to a court that stops the clock mid-game. One party acts while the other side hasn’t yet been fully heard. However, play stops for everyone regardless, and the strategic landscape shifts around a single declaration. What makes the mahjong version illuminating is the rule that exists in certain schools, the kong can be robbed. A player waiting on the precise tile being folded into the kong can call it and win immediately, 搶槓, robbing the kong. In legal terms, this is third-party intervention. Someone not central to the original action steps in the moment another party’s declaration creates their opening. They didn’t start the game, but they read it, waited, and moved when the moment came. Lawyers learn this in textbooks, while mahjong players learn it by losing, which is a far more efficient education. Restraint built into the architecture In the Hakka variation of the game, the wall stops at the last nine stacks. This isn’t cosmetic, for it changes the tempo. It makes the game’s progress visible, its limits legible. A player always knows roughly how much wall remains. The architecture of the game doesn’t trust the players to exercise restraint on their own, so it builds restraint in before anyone touches a tile. This is proportionality, and it is arguably the quality that separates a good legal system from a merely functional one. Courts frequently have powers they decline to exercise. The technically available remedy isn’t always the most appropriate one. A judge who imposes maximum damages on a minor breach hasn’t demonstrated authority, they have simply demonstrated a failure to read the wall. There is a further dimension here that the nine-stack rule makes visible. Both players can see the same wall, for the remaining tiles are not hidden from one side. This is the principle of open justice, that the proceedings aren’t conducted in secret, but in the presence of everyone at the table. That is the basis for decisions, that at least in theory, everything is equally legible to all parties. The Hakka elder who devised that configuration may not have been thinking about judicial transparency, but the table enforces it regardless. Proportionality is taught in law schools as a principle. In Hakka mahjong, it is the shape of the table itself. You can’t be reckless about how much game remains when you can see it in front of you. Losing less is also a result Return to the moment this piece began, the hand that can’t be won. The experienced player doesn’t panic or throw tiles recklessly in pursuit of a completion that the wall won’t deliver. They shift strategy entirely. From this point, the question is not, how do I win, but what must I not give away? Every discard is chosen to deny the player who is close rather than to improve your own hand. This is settlement. This is the advice that good solicitors give clients who have a case they could pursue but probably shouldn’t, you cannot complete this hand in time, and the cost of trying will feed someone else’s win. The legal profession has an entire vocabulary for the managed retreat, such as without prejudice negotiations, Calderbank offers, mediation, consent orders, and underlying all of it is the same Confucian instinct that the Chinese term 和解 encodes more honestly than the English word “settlement” does. 和 means harmony, peace, the restoration of equilibrium. The law calls it a transactional outcome. The table calls it wisdom. However, there is a harder version of this principle, and it is the one that separates experienced players from good ones. Losing less is not passivity, as it requires the same analytical clarity as winning, perhaps arguably more, because you must suppress the instinct to chase while simultaneously reading every other player’s position with precision. You are making active, consequential decisions under pressure, without the psychological reward of a winning hand to aim for. The law knows this difficulty. Clients resist settlement because it feels like defeat. They want their day in court, their vindication, their mahjong. Lawyers who understand the table understand that the client’s desire to win and the client’s interest aren’t always the same thing, and that the most important advice they will ever give is delivered in a quiet room before proceedings begin. This is not the hand. Let it go. Control what you discard. The law isn’t a game, and I’m certainly not suggesting it is, but games, at their best, are compressed and honest, meaning they force rules into physical form and then observe what happens when human nature meets them. The mahjong table has been running that experiment for centuries, across languages, jurisdictions, and family arguments that lasted long after the tiles were swept. Four principles. One table. No Latin required. The law, patient as it is, might occasionally look up from its own proceedings and notice what the game already knows. Follow me on LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Wai CS Wong Wai CS Wong, Legal English Consultant and Textbook Writer Steven is bilingual and bicultural. Arrived in UK at aged 4, grew up working in his father's hospitality business, attended university in Scotland and also a second degree in HK. He has worked in several countries, including the UK, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Hong Kong, China. Although retired, he continues to consult in Legal English and write Common Error textbooks for the HK, Taiwanese, and Middle Eastern markets.

Written by Caren Carnegie, Founder of Transform Fitness Coaching | Intuitive Momentum Coach | Speaker & Writer Caren Carnegie is a coach, psychic channeler, and the creator of Transform, a space where fitness, healing, and intuition meet. She helps people return to themselves by honouring the body and awakening the coach within. What if the life you want is not something to chase, but something you are already shaping through the way you think, move, and respond each day? This article reframes fit-ness as a state of being, one that creates coherence between body, mind, and action, and from that coherence, a life that is unmistakably your own. “You don’t need to chase a better life, or even someone else’s life.” That idea has been reinforced in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, through marketing, through social media, and through the suggestion that somewhere out there is a version of life you haven’t reached yet. But what if that’s not how it works? What if your life isn’t something waiting for you to arrive, but something that is already being shaped through you, in real time? This is where my understanding of fit-ness continues to evolve. Not as something we achieve or measure, and not as what we’ve been led to believe it is, but as a state of being. A lived frequency that influences how we think, how we move, and how we respond to what’s in front of us. And from that place, what we create. Because whether we realize it or not, we are always creating from a state. Not just from what we do, but from how we are. In a recent series of articles, I explored fit-ness as frequency, not as something abstract, but as a lived experience of how we think, move, and respond within our lives. This article builds on that foundation. Rethinking the life you’ve been shown There is a common narrative that suggests life improves once we reach a certain point, when we look a certain way, build something recognizable, or step into a version of success that can be seen and validated from the outside. While there is nothing inherently wrong with growth or desire, this perspective often places life just out of reach. It creates a persistent gap between where we are and where we believe we need to be. Over time, that gap can disconnect us from something much more important, our ability to influence and shape our own experience from within. When life is always positioned as something ahead of us, we overlook the fact that it is being built through our daily choices, responses, and patterns. Not someday. Now. Fit-ness as frequency When I speak about fit-ness as frequency, I am not referring to something abstract or separate from everyday life. I am speaking to the lived experience of being in your body. The way your system responds. The patterns you return to. The level of openness or resistance you carry into a moment. Your frequency is not something you think about. It is something you live. And it is constantly shaping what becomes available to you, not because life is selectively giving or withholding, but because your state determines how you perceive, respond, and move within it. This is where coherence begins. Coherence is not something you force. It is what happens when the different parts of you begin moving in the same direction, your thoughts, your actions, your responses, and your body. And from that place, creation becomes clear. “Fit-ness is not what we’ve been led to believe it is. It is a state of being.” This isn’t something to follow One of the things I’ve become increasingly aware of in this space is how often we are shown “the way.” The way to build a life. The way to create success. The way to become who we’re meant to be. It’s often well-intentioned. People share what has worked for them, and there can be value in that. But over time, something subtle happens, we begin to believe that our path should look like someone else’s. That if we follow closely enough, we’ll arrive. But creation doesn’t work like that. There is no single path that can be replicated, because what you are here to build is not a copy of someone else’s life, it is an expression of your own. What works for someone else can offer perspective, but it cannot replace your own awareness. This is why I often say hashtag doyou. Not as a slogan, but as a reminder. You are not here to follow a formula. You are here to participate in your own life. “Your body is not waiting for your life to change. It is helping you build it.” Creation happens in motion This is where fit-ness, in the way I live and lead, becomes something much deeper. It is not separate from the rest of your life. It is not something you step into for an hour and leave behind when you walk out of a space. It is not confined to workouts, aesthetics, or performance. It is a state of being. The state you bring into everything. How you move through your day. How you respond under pressure. How you communicate with yourself. How you care for your body when no one is watching. How you make decisions when you are uncertain. Fit-ness, in this way, becomes the foundation from which you create. Not by forcing change, but by building coherence, where your body, your thoughts, and your actions begin working together rather than against each other. Creation, then, is not one big moment. It’s something much quieter, and much more consistent than that. It happens in the small choices you make throughout the day. This is what I often refer to as micro-momentum. These moments matter because they build familiarity within your system. They allow your body and your brain to experience something different. They help you remain open, rather than defaulting to patterns that no longer reflect who you are. Over time, these choices begin to stabilize your state. And as your state stabilizes, so does what you create. There is enough time There is another pattern I’ve been noticing more often in conversation, the sense that there isn’t enough time. People speak about being behind, or feeling like they are running out of it, as though life is something they need to catch up to. But when we relate to time that way, we move out of the only place where anything can actually be created. The moment we are in. When attention is pulled toward what hasn’t happened yet, or what should have already happened, it becomes difficult to recognize what is available now. And without that awareness, our ability to choose, and to build, becomes limited. Time begins to feel like something working against us, rather than something we are participating in. In the same way that we can believe we are not enough, we can begin to believe that what we have is not enough, including time. But both are grounded in the same misunderstanding. You are here. You are aware. You are able to respond. That is where creation begins. You are already in motion What this means, in practice, is that your life is not something you need to wait for, or figure out all at once. It is something you are already participating in. Through your attention. Through your actions. Through the way you choose to show up in each moment. You are not behind. You are not missing something. And there is nothing you need to follow in order to begin. You are already in the process of building your life, whether you are aware of it or not. “You are already in motion.” And the moment you begin to recognize that, something shifts. You stop looking for the path, and you stop waiting for more time to begin. You recognize that you are already in motion. And you walk, on your path. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Caren Carnegie Caren Carnegie, Founder of Transform Fitness Coaching | Intuitive Momentum Coach | Speaker & Writer Caren Carnegie is the founder of Transform HQ, an Intuitive Momentum Coach, Speaker, Spiritual Life Coach, and Channeler whose work explores the relationship between embodiment, self-expression, consciousness, and the natural world. Her work began in fitness, but did not remain there. Through years of working alongside people in motion, she came to understand fit-ness as something far greater than physical health – a state of alignment between body, mind, heart, and spirit. Through coaching, speaking, and writing, Caren invites others to move beyond limitation and remember that transformation begins through participation. She is a Senior Contributor for Brainz Magazine and a Brainz 500 Global honoree.

Written by Brian Curtis, Consultant, Creator and Author Brian Curtis is an author, foundational thinker, and the innovator behind the Cirkuitbreaker project. Leveraging a 25-year career as an electrician in both the public and private sectors, he provides executives with a rare, grounded perspective on self-management and systemic alignment. Detachment is a common theme in the spiritual community. More often than not, it stems from a defensive desire to escape the negative projections of a judgmental world. But we live in a unified field. That means, by definition, you cannot actually get away from any part of yourself. If you judge a piece of the whole as inherently “bad,” you are declaring a piece of yourself bad. We replicate these patterns simply because we do not understand who we are, what we are, or how this reality functions. Why blame a blind man for being blind? When we do not understand this, we unconsciously cut ourselves off from the whole, shortening our lives. True detachment is an act of internal division. You are consciously severing yourself from a part of your own macro identity, and it hurts to do that. I should know. I have tried it, but it does not work. This coping mechanism directly affects memory. If there is a part of the past that we do not like to think about, we close it off out of survival. Experiencing someone else’s pain is the main culprit. We internalize it, making it our own. Pain is a part of life, but it is deeply painful to feel separate. Detachment, empathy, and the feedback loop Empathy is widely misunderstood. To me, empathy is simply the fundamental ability to listen and to feel. Because everything is infinitely connected to itself, we all possess this exact same potential. Yet we have defined “empathic” people as those who are overly reactive or those who need to completely pull themselves away from society to survive. If you understand how deeply negative projections affect your emotions and your physical body, it becomes all too easy to isolate. This isolation creates internal barriers. It starves us of information and disconnects us from ourselves, shrinking the ego into a hard, defensive shell. Much like a tree branching in both directions from a central heart, we harden our bark as a survival mechanism when we close off. Hardening of the heart is the ultimate result. It is no wonder that heart disease is the leading cause of death. It represents all the cells of the body that structurally harden when we are no longer in touch with ourselves and, consequently, the rest of the world. If you are constantly feeling the raw pain of the world around you, it feels much easier to disregard it or think negatively about it. This creates a relentless feedback loop in the mind, keeping us tethered to a moment in the past. The hardest unconscious pattern to recognize is that we are simply internalizing the world around us. We project our own pain of separation, and it drains us in the end. The wealth inversion In Western culture, we have believed for generations that accumulating money is what enables us to separate ourselves from environments with negative projections and heavy emotional states. It does not work. Unfortunately, most of the systems we have designed to build wealth feed off those exact negative states instead of supporting the growth required to transcend them. Externalizing success creates temporary states of possession fueled entirely by systemic tension. This is the primary reason the coaching and consulting industries are booming. As a leader, you may achieve material wealth, but you remain trapped by the stresses of the unbalanced system you operate within. It is all built upon externalizing our identity. We chase the money or the car, only to realize at the finish line that it was the baseline state of wanting that we could not get rid of. Buddhism deals directly with this “end of want,” recognizing for centuries that suffering is bound to the mindset of attachment and the illusion of scarcity. While some small-scale communities successfully share cultures based on nonattachment, our broader Western alternative has been the nonprofit model, which comes with its own structural hurdles that often negate the very goals it sets out to accomplish. Darwin, connectedness, and the true motion of evolution What is the actual answer? If mentally cutting ourselves off from the world is not a long-term source of health, where is the solution? If the heart is the center of everything and one with everything, we have to look at how life actually evolves. Evolution is a fascinating topic. We have operated under Charles Darwin’s theories for quite some time, accepting that the strongest survive. But what truly constitutes strength? I try to look for the unseen currents behind what happens around us. Every physical object, even the car you drive, started purely as a thought in someone’s head. This realization begs the question: In whose mind are the trees, the flowers, and this entire dream being created? If creation flows from a singular mind, then every part must be whole unto itself. Everything is constantly communicating, directly affecting how each element grows and integrates with its environment. We create from what we receive, gradually shifting the collective output. If you observe life closely, there is always a core heart that is either growing by connecting things or disappearing by isolating them. Our physical bodies die the moment our cells stop talking to one another and exchanging energy. By contrast, our bodies grow when the efficiency of information and energy between cells increases. Structures grow more complex as they move more energy and information. They break down and become simpler when they move less. Did Darwin miss the fact that true strength is found in connection, not isolation? The geometry of heaven and hell Based on this movement of energy, we can easily define heaven and hell. Hell is the state of increasing disconnectedness from ourselves. Heaven, by contrast, is the state of increasing connectedness with ourselves. It is remarkably simple, yet we have gone out of our way to make it complicated. The mind can only move in two directions relative to the heart. We are either moving toward our core or away from it. Moving away from the heart involves mentally identifying with something temporary and seeking it out, chasing an external concept of “success.” If our minds are misinterpreting the world around us, it creates blocks that distort the infinite information and energy coming from the heart. Double-mindedness, which the Bible refers to as being “unstable in all his ways,” is essentially a form of separation anxiety. The illusion that everything is separate creates an unstable mind. When we look around and fail to see that everything is working together as a part of us, we default to judging things as “good” or “bad” based purely on our immediate pain. But is something truly “bad” just because it hurts? Or is pain simply a precise feedback loop letting us know whether we are moving toward or away from the heart? Or maybe the pain is an indication of projected thought forms that are not necessarily ones we created. If we are 90% unconscious, then we are moving 90% of the projected thought forms around us completely unconsciously. When you examine the entire universal field, it is in absolute balance. Half of the energy is moving away from the center, and half is moving back to its origin. Just because a piece of creation is currently moving away from itself does not mean it will not eventually find its way home. The concept of “bad” completely breaks down here. Looking at reality from an objective viewpoint rather than preconceived notions will do wonders for your psyche. It grounds out the negative thought forms that make you feel “less than” or separate from anything else. We are just a point of awareness creating a structure in a field, after all. The rest phase: Allowing the heart to clean the circuit Our bodies naturally understand this balancing act. Our unconscious mind heals us daily. Otherwise, we would cease to exist in a very short time. True healing occurs when the system is at rest. Our bodies go into overdrive when our thoughts turn negative. If I hold a negative thought about something, I am creating an energetic “pulling” effect on that object. If that object reflects that negative pattern back, a feedback loop traps both sides in an endless cycle until one party intentionally breaks the loop. We think about things negatively only because they mirror a part of ourselves we have not accepted yet. The world is a flawless mirror. It is impossible to separate yourself from yourself. Healers and philosophers have taught the value of “staying present” and achieving a state of “no thought” for centuries. If the past is a memory and the future is a potential born from right now, getting to the mind’s zero point grants us the freedom to create something completely untethered from the past. What is often overlooked is the physical role of the heart in this process. When the body heals, the energy required to destroy dead tissue and generate new cells must come from somewhere. It is a two-part process: something must die to provide the energy for something new to emerge. The heart is the prime mover, pumping dead material out and oxygen-enriched blood in. Our bodies can produce entirely new chemistry and heal from profound ailments when the mind is put at rest, so the heart can finally do its work. Unconditional love is quite literally gravity for the soul. Surrendering to the dream When the societal structures put in front of our faces every single day prioritize capital over human life, we become what we consume. That has been my own biggest personal challenge, simply witnessing it. I wake up some days and, quite frankly, do not want to get up. My dreams are my sanctuary. They are filled with adventures and strange scenes that feel entirely real while I am in them. But when I wake up, the first thought that slips in is: “I am living in a world where we are taught to prioritize things instead of each other.” That thought always pulls me down. What we fail to understand is that if we pour 100% of our attention into what we are materially creating, we will suffer. We weigh our entire success on what we have built externally, and we fall short. It leads to isolation and premature death. What stabilizes me is remembering that the universe will always consume its own creation to make way for the creator. We forget and remember this in cycles, forever. Nothing dies permanently because nothing in this universe is permanent, except for gravity. The constant, unyielding pull of one heart toward another, until it becomes one heart again. Moving back together The real question we have to ask ourselves as leaders is: How do we grow closer instead of growing farther apart? The answer is that it is already happening naturally. It is built into the very architecture of reality. Everything is localized, and as it interacts with elements outside its locality, it must die to its former version to incorporate more of itself and become something new. We consistently witness cycles of this happening all over the world. Ecosystems where foreign organisms are introduced seem to break down initially. They eventually find balance, but we have spread ourselves over an entire planet. Never before in recorded history has the planet had access to so much collective information and energy as a whole. This means the whole planet will naturally appear to break down and die. That is what we are witnessing. It is natural to die when incorporating so much. You have to in order to move that magnitude of information and energy. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. We live in identical cycles within cycles. If you can navigate your way to the center, you learn to embrace both aspects of the motion, the moving apart and the moving back together. It is perfectly okay to find time alone to search the depths of your soul and discover what makes you tick. I recently watched a YouTube video of a young woman stating how much she loved people, but preferred to be alone. She was tired of entertaining so many individuals who were holding up masks. She recognized it because she had grown out of her own masks. It is undoubtedly a symptom of a world where we are forced to continually sell ourselves to survive. Here’s the rub: most people do not need what you are offering if you are just offering one rigid thing. It drives people apart. Any of us has the potential to learn and do anything, but professional roles force us to narrow our definitions to “this” or “that.” My suggestion? Do what you are asked. There is nothing more valuable than the ability to take care of someone’s kids if they want a vacation. It means they trust you to listen and guard what they love most. We are all children, really, and the inner child in all of us just wants our dreams to come true. As a parent, what I want most is for my children to get along and share. I want them to decide what they want to create together and support each other’s imagination. We are all each other’s children, in a way. In the end, we always choose to move back together. Why? Because it is not any fun to work on your car completely by yourself. It is so much easier to admit that it is our car, work on it together, and share the ride. The car is constantly changing, so why not understand that sharing the experience will beautifully change the quality of what we create as well? Better yet, would we not live much longer, healthier lives as well? Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Brian Curtis Brian Curtis, Consultant, Creator and Author Brian Curtis is a specialist in self-management, human energy systems, and organizational alignment. After a distinguished 25-year career as an electrician, he stepped away from traditional industry models to explore the intersection of universal laws, human behavior, and corporate structure. Through years of deep introspection and creation, he recognized that true professional success is dictated entirely by an individual's inner state and emotional alignment. Today, he dedicates his life to helping leaders heal the heart space, dismantle outdated behavioral patterns, and cultivate sustainable freedom. He is the founder of Cirkuitbreaker, a decentralized platform modeled after the balancing laws of nature.

Written by Karmen Fairall, Speech Pathologist, Reflective Practitioner Karmen Fairall is a Speech Pathologist and reflective practitioner exploring sustainable leadership, boundaries, and well-being in helping professions. Drawing on lived experience, faith-informed values, and professional insight, she writes to support people who serve others in demanding roles. For as long as I can remember, I have been someone who says yes. Yes to helping, yes to taking on the extra task, and yes to being the person others can rely on. If I’m honest, I have often seen this as a strength. I genuinely enjoy supporting people. I find meaning in making life easier for others, solving problems, encouraging growth, and creating a sense of stability when things feel uncertain. But I am learning there is a difference between serving from a place of purpose and serving from a place of pressure. One creates sustainability. The other slowly empties you. When yes becomes automatic People-pleasing is often misunderstood as simply wanting people to like us. While approval can be part of it, the reality is often more complex. For many people in caring roles, people-pleasing develops alongside positive qualities, such as empathy, responsibility, conscientiousness, and a desire to contribute. The challenge comes when those strengths become disconnected from our own capacity. Instead of asking, “Do I have the capacity for this?”, “Is this mine to carry?” or “Does this align with what matters most in this season?” we automatically ask, “Who needs me?” “Who might be disappointed?” and “What happens if I say no?” Somewhere along the way, the needs of others become easier to identify than our own. The strengths that become struggles I’ve found personality and strengths frameworks helpful, not because they define me, but because they give language to patterns I’ve noticed. As an ISFJ, I recognise a tendency toward responsibility, loyalty, and attentiveness to others. Through the Enneagram, I identify with aspects of Type 1, the Reformer, including a strong internal drive to do things well and make a meaningful contribution. Through the Working Genius framework, my strengths of Enablement and Tenacity also make sense of my instinct to step in, support others, and see things through. These are genuine strengths, but every strength, when overextended, has a shadow. The same qualities that make someone dependable can also make it difficult to recognise when they are depleted. Research into perfectionism and self-criticism highlights this tension. High standards can be motivating and beneficial, but when they become connected to self-worth or fear of disappointing others, they can contribute to stress, anxiety, and reduced well-being.[1] The question is not whether we should care. The question is whether we can care without abandoning ourselves. When ignoring yourself gets loud For much of my adult life, I described myself as someone who “used to have anxiety.” I saw it as something from a previous chapter, something I had learned to manage and move beyond. Then, over the past six months, I noticed familiar patterns returning. My thoughts became louder, my capacity felt smaller, and things that would normally feel manageable started requiring significantly more effort. There were certainly external pressures contributing to this season: motherhood, business, political and personal changes, and the constant responsibility that comes with caring for others. But as I reflected more deeply, I began to recognise something else. I hadn’t been listening. Not to my body. Not to my mind. Not to the quieter signals asking me to slow down. As a woman who wears many hats personally and professionally, it is surprisingly easy to move through an entire day without asking myself one simple question: How am I actually doing? For many people who serve others, this question can feel surprisingly difficult to answer. The hidden cost of always being available The challenge with people-pleasing is that it often looks like kindness from the outside. People see reliability, generosity, and someone who can be counted on. What they may not see is the internal negotiation happening underneath: “Can I fit this in?” “How much will this cost me?” and “What will I need to sacrifice to make this work?” Over time, constantly prioritising others can quietly teach us that our needs are optional. But they are not. Rest is not optional. Capacity is not optional. Our well-being is not optional. Research into self-compassion suggests that responding to ourselves with the same understanding we naturally extend to others is associated with greater psychological well-being and resilience. For helpers especially, this matters because sustainable care cannot be built on ongoing self-neglect. Moving from reactive yes to purposeful yes I am not learning to say no to everyone. That would not reflect who I am, nor would I want it to. I am learning to move from a reactive yes to a purposeful yes. A reactive yes often comes from guilt, fear of disappointing others, discomfort with conflict, and feeling responsible for fixing everything. A purposeful yes comes from clarity, capacity, alignment with values, and a genuine willingness to contribute. Both may look similar from the outside. But internally, they feel very different. The goal is not to become less generous. The goal is to become more intentional. Two practices for this season The first practice is a baseline practice: create space before answering. For one week, practise delaying your response before committing. Instead of an automatic yes, try “Let me check my capacity and come back to you.” This small pause creates space between the request and your response, allowing you to make a decision rather than simply react. The second practice is a reaching practice: audit your commitments. Look at your current responsibilities and ask yourself what you are doing because it aligns with your values, what you are doing because you feel responsible for everyone’s happiness, and what you would release if you believed your worth was not dependent on how much you could carry. The goal is not to remove every responsibility. It is to ensure the responsibilities you carry are ones you have consciously chosen. A final reflection I am learning that being someone who serves others does not mean becoming invisible. The people we love do not need the most exhausted version of us. They need the most present version of us. Perhaps the most purposeful yes we can offer others begins with learning to honour the person who is saying it. Continue the conversation I’m currently in a season of slowing down and exploring how faith, frameworks, and reflective practice can support more sustainable leadership and service, particularly in helping professions. If this reflection resonated with you, I invite you to stay connected and follow my journey on LinkedIn, where I’ll continue to share insights as this work develops. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Karmen Fairall Karmen Fairall, Speech Pathologist, Reflective Practitioner Karmen Fairall is a Speech Pathologist and business owner with experience across allied health, service-based leadership, and caregiving roles. Her writing explores burnout, cognitive load, boundaries, and sustainable leadership in helping professions. In this season, she is intentionally slowing down to reflect on how faith, frameworks, and systems can support healthier ways of serving others. Through her work, she seeks to help people lead and live with clarity, compassion, and care. Reference: [1] Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. [2] Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.

Michelle Lawrence is the Founder and CEO of Elevate Collective, a strategy-first branding and web design studio dedicated to helping women-led businesses build brands that drive sustainable growth without burnout. With more than 15 years of experience in corporate marketing, branding, customer experience, and digital strategy, she combines big-brand thinking with practical, actionable strategies that empower entrepreneurs to build businesses with clarity and confidence. In this interview, Michelle shares why strategy should always come before aesthetics, the biggest mistakes she sees entrepreneurs making with their brands and websites, and how clarity, authentic messaging, and intentional systems can transform visibility into sustainable business growth. Michelle Lawrence, CEO & Founder of Elevate Collective Can you walk us through how Elevate Collective helps women-led businesses turn their brand aesthetics into sustainable growth? I often tell clients that branding isn't about choosing colours or designing a beautiful logo, it's about creating an experience that makes people feel something. When your audience feels understood, they begin to trust you, and trust is what drives people to buy. At Elevate Collective, we start with strategy long before we ever open a design program. Through my Beyond the Brand framework, I help founders uncover their vision, values, positioning, messaging, and ideal client before we discuss fonts or colour palettes. I've found that most female founders don't actually have a website problem, they have a clarity problem. They're trying to speak to everyone, which means they're not connecting with anyone. Once that clarity is in place, every business decision becomes easier. Their messaging resonates, their website guides visitors naturally toward action, and their brand begins attracting the right clients instead of simply generating traffic. A beautiful website might capture someone's attention, but strategic branding builds trust. Trusted brands are the ones that create sustainable, measurable growth. How did your corporate marketing experience shape your approach to strategic brand design for founders? Spending more than 13 years in corporate marketing completely changed how I approach branding today. Working on national campaigns taught me that successful brands rarely start by asking, "What should this look like?" They start by asking, "Who are we speaking to, what problem are we solving, and how will we measure success?" Large organizations invest heavily in customer research, audience insights, focus groups, data, and customer journey mapping before launching a campaign. Small businesses don't have those resources, but they can adopt the same strategic thinking. That's the biggest lesson I brought into Elevate Collective. Before we design anything, we define the ideal client, uncover their pain points, clarify the business goals, and map the customer journey. Every design decision should support a measurable business outcome, not just what the founder likes. Most founders think they need a new website. What they actually need is clarity. Once you understand who you're speaking to and why they should choose you, the website simply becomes the tool that communicates that strategy. What are the most common clarity gaps you see that prevent websites from converting visitors into clients? The biggest reason websites don't convert isn't because of bad design, it's because of unclear messaging. Within the first few seconds, visitors should understand exactly what you do, who you help, the transformation you provide, and what they should do next. Instead, I often see websites with confusing navigation, generic headlines, too much copy, and messaging that's focused on the business rather than the client. One of the biggest mistakes founders make is trying to appeal to everyone. When you speak to everyone, no one feels like you're speaking directly to them. Another misconception is that more traffic will solve the problem. I hear it all the time: "I just need better SEO." But if your website isn't converting the visitors you already have, sending more people to it won't fix the issue. The first thing I usually recommend is rewriting the homepage, especially the section above the fold. Your homepage has one job: help the right visitor immediately recognize they're in the right place. How do you see the current obsession with "pretty branding" affecting women entrepreneurs' business growth? I think social media has unintentionally convinced many entrepreneurs that branding is about aesthetics first and strategy second. We see beautifully curated Instagram feeds, trendy colour palettes, and constant rebrands, and it's easy to believe that's what creates success. The reality is very different. Many female founders are comparing themselves to six and seven-figure businesses that have entire marketing teams, customer research, analytics, and months of strategy behind every launch. What we see online is the polished final product, not the data, testing, positioning, and customer research that made it successful. Pretty branding gets attention. Strategic branding gets results. I've seen founders invest thousands in a rebrand when what they really needed was clearer messaging and stronger positioning. Changing your colours every year won't grow your business if your audience still doesn't understand why they should choose you. Beautiful design absolutely matters, but aesthetics should support strategy, not replace it. What practical steps do you guide founders to take to align their website and brand strategy with revenue goals? Every project starts with the business, not the website. Before we discuss design, I ask questions like: What are your offers? Who is your ideal client? Where do you want your business to be in six months and three years? What is the purpose of your website? Is it generating more leads, booking discovery calls, selling products, or building authority? Those answers shape every strategic decision that follows. A website shouldn't be designed around what the founder likes. It should be designed around how the customer makes buying decisions. That means refining positioning, simplifying messaging, creating a clear customer journey, and making every call-to-action intentional. Every page should have a purpose, and every element should move visitors one step closer to taking action. When founders begin with measurable business goals instead of aesthetic preferences, success becomes much easier to evaluate. Design stops being subjective and becomes a strategic tool that supports business growth. Can you share a specific example where refining client journeys significantly improved conversions for a business? One of my favourite examples is a therapist who came to me because she wasn't getting enough inquiries. Like many service providers, she assumed the problem was her website. As we worked through the strategy process, we discovered the real issue wasn't the website itself, it was the messaging. Her homepage contained a lot of generic, clinical copy that didn't help visitors feel understood. She was speaking broadly instead of directly to the clients she most wanted to serve. Together, we refined her positioning, simplified her services, shifted the tone to feel more authentic and approachable, strengthened her calls-to-action, and created a navigation experience that made it easier for visitors to find exactly what they needed. Her expertise never changed. What changed was how clearly she communicated it. The result wasn't just more inquiries, it was faster buying decisions. Visitors quickly recognized they were in the right place, understood the value she offered, and felt confident taking the next step. How do you help founders build scalable systems that support growth without creating burnout? Burnout often isn't caused by working hard, it's caused by making too many decisions every single day. I see founders constantly reinventing their brand, manually completing repetitive tasks, and attracting clients who aren't the right fit because their positioning isn't clear. One of the best ways to reduce that pressure is by building systems that create consistency. That includes brand guidelines, content templates, SOPs, client workflows, and automations that eliminate repetitive work and improve the client experience. I don't build systems so founders can work more. I build them so they can step into the role of CEO instead of being an employee in their own business. When systems are in place, founders spend less time recreating the wheel and more time leading their business, building meaningful relationships, serving clients, and creating the life they started their business for in the first place. That's what sustainable growth looks like. What personal philosophy guides your approach when blending aesthetics with strategic business outcomes? At the heart of everything I do is one belief: businesses grow when founders stop pretending to be someone they're not. I think many women feel pressure to sound more professional, follow every trend, or build a brand that looks like someone else's success. But the brands people remember aren't the ones that look the same, they're the ones that make people feel something. People buy from people they trust, and trust is built through authenticity. Authenticity isn't about sharing every detail of your personal life. It's about having the confidence to communicate your expertise, values, and personality in a way that feels genuine. That's why strategy always comes before aesthetics. A beautiful brand without authenticity may attract attention, but it won't build lasting relationships. When founders embrace who they are instead of who they think they should be, their marketing becomes more natural, their messaging becomes more compelling, and they attract clients who genuinely connect with their business, making everything easier. If you could leave one piece of advice for women entrepreneurs about turning visibility into sustainable growth, what would it be? Stop chasing every trend and start building trust. I see too many entrepreneurs trying to be everywhere at once, posting on every platform, constantly changing their messaging, or reinventing their brand every few months because they think visibility alone creates growth. It doesn't. Trust is built through consistency. Choose a few marketing channels you genuinely enjoy, show up consistently, and speak directly to the people you want to serve. Focus less on sounding impressive and more on helping your audience feel understood. Talk about their challenges, the outcomes they're looking for, and how your expertise can help them get there. The businesses that create sustainable growth aren't necessarily the loudest or the trendiest. They're the ones that consistently show up with clarity, authenticity, and a message people can trust. Visibility may get someone to notice your business, but trust is what turns attention into lasting growth. Ready to build a brand that does more than just look good? If you're ready to gain clarity, attract the right clients, and create a website that supports your business goals, let's start the conversation. Visit here to learn more about Elevate Collective and discover how strategic branding can help you build a business that's authentic, profitable, and built for long-term growth. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Michelle Lawrence