Written by Sarah Fernandez, Psychologist & Youth Mental Health Specialist Sarah Fernandez, a distinguished Psychologist and Certified Youth Mental Health Specialist, is known for her work in empowering young minds. She is the founder of S. Fernandez Center for Wellness and the author of the journal books, Mindful Moments (2023) for children and Understanding Me (2025) for adolescents. Childhood anxiety is frequently associated with internal distress, such as excessive worry, fearfulness, or avoidance. However, in clinical and educational settings, anxiety often manifests through observable behavioural difficulties, including emotional outbursts, oppositional behaviour, and difficulties with compliance. These behavioural expressions are commonly misattributed to poor discipline or intentional misconduct, which can delay appropriate identification and intervention. Physiological arousal and behavioural dysregulation Anxiety involves heightened physiological arousal in response to perceived threat or uncertainty. In children, whose neural systems for self-regulation are still developing, elevated arousal can significantly interfere with behavioural control. When a child experiences sustained or intense anxiety, cognitive resources required for planning, impulse inhibition, and emotional modulation are reduced. During such states, behavioural responses tend to be reactive rather than deliberate. The child may struggle to pause, reflect, or respond flexibly, resulting in impulsive or disruptive behaviour that reflects emotional overload rather than purposeful defiance. Limited emotional awareness and expression Children often lack the linguistic and metacognitive skills needed to accurately identify and communicate internal emotional states. Anxiety may therefore be expressed indirectly through behaviour. Rather than verbalizing fear or uncertainty, the child may demonstrate irritability, restlessness, refusal, or aggression. From a clinical perspective, these behaviours can be understood as maladaptive attempts to manage distress, particularly when the child perceives limited control over their environment or the expectations placed upon them. Contextual factors that intensify anxiety responses Anxiety-related behavioural reactions are often context-dependent. Situations that place high demands on performance, adaptability, or social interaction are particularly challenging. Common contributing factors include: Tasks perceived as exceeding the child’s competence. Unclear or inconsistent expectations. Rapid transitions or environmental unpredictability. Sensory or social overstimulation. Repeated experiences of perceived failure. Children with underlying learning or neurodevelopmental differences may experience these stressors more intensely, increasing the likelihood that anxiety will present through behavioural dysregulation. Behaviour as an indicator of emotional distress Within psychological assessment and intervention frameworks, behaviour is conceptualized as an outward indicator of internal functioning. When anxiety overwhelms a child’s coping capacity, behaviour may serve as the most accessible means of expressing distress. Externalizing behaviours in this context often signal difficulty tolerating uncertainty, managing arousal, or accessing appropriate coping strategies. This interpretation shifts the focus from behavioural control to emotional understanding and support. Clinical implications Effective intervention requires addressing both behavioural presentation and underlying emotional processes. Approaches that emphasize emotional regulation, predictability, and supportive adult-child interactions are associated with improved outcomes. Key components include: Adult-led regulation and emotional containment. Explicit teaching of emotional awareness and coping skills. Environmental structure to reduce uncertainty. Gradual exposure to anxiety-provoking demands with appropriate support. When anxiety is reduced and coping capacity strengthened, improvements in behaviour typically follow. Closing Externalizing behaviours in children may reflect underlying anxiety rather than intentional non-compliance. Recognizing anxiety as a contributing factor allows for more accurate formulation and intervention planning. A clinically informed understanding of these behaviours supports interventions that promote emotional regulation, resilience, and adaptive functioning. Follow me on Instagram for more info! Read more from Sarah Fernandez Sarah Fernandez, Psychologist & Youth Mental Health Specialist Sarah Fernandez, a Psychologist, discovered her passion for youth mental health after witnessing her younger sister struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. Seeing her sister suffer in silence ignited Sarah’s desire to understand what was happening beneath the surface. She dedicated her studies to exploring mental health and brain development in children and adolescents. Today, she is committed to giving a voice to young people like her sister, ensuring they are seen, heard, and supported.

Written by Karmen Fairall, Speech Pathologist, Reflective Practitioner Karmen Fairall is a Speech Pathologist and reflective practitioner exploring sustainable leadership, boundaries, and wellbeing in helping professions. Drawing on lived experience, faith-informed values, and professional insight, she writes to support people who serve others in demanding roles. The reality hit me quietly, but when it came, it felt blinding. I find it far easier to keep myself and my mind busy than to slow down and rest. When given the choice, I don’t truly pause, I simply shift from one cognitive load to another. From housework to client goals. From emails to family logistics. This constant cognitive shifting feels productive, but it is not rest. It keeps the brain in a state of ongoing activation, never fully powering down. Add to this the modern tug of social media, the quick dopamine hits of doom scrolling, the shrinking attention spans, the ten-second hooks that have replaced entire songs, and it becomes increasingly difficult to remember what genuine stillness even feels like. As a clinician and mother, I have noticed the difference between real rest and constant motion in both my personal life and the lives of the families I support. Psychological research in attention and task switching consistently shows that frequent cognitive shifting makes the brain less effective, not more efficient. It places significant strain on the brain, increases mental fatigue, and reduces our capacity for emotional regulation, even when tasks feel familiar or necessary. This finding mirrors the lived experience of many caregivers and professionals. What we often label as rest is, neurologically speaking, simply another form of work. Parenting as a mirror Becoming a parent has a way of putting our habits on a megaphone. Watching an inquisitive toddler absorb my language, my phone habits, and my sense of urgency, and then model them back to me, has been confronting. The pace I carry does not stay contained within me, it spills into the environment I am creating for my family. Australian research on mental load has repeatedly shown that mothers carry a disproportionate share of invisible cognitive labour. This includes the planning, anticipating, remembering, and emotional monitoring that underpins family life. This work is continuous, largely unseen, and rarely paused, even when paid work stops. When this invisible load is layered with professional responsibility, the brain rarely receives the signal that it is safe to slow down. Perfectionism and pace I tend to overanalyse everything and hold myself to standards I would never impose on anyone else. Not my husband, not my children, not my colleagues. I expect myself to be perfect, forgetting how freely I extend grace to others for far smaller missteps. The word “sorry” appears alarmingly often in my daily vocabulary. I say it when “excuse me” or “pardon me” would suffice, reserving apology for moments that do not truly require it. Meanwhile, the moments that actually matter, presence, follow-through, and connection, quietly erode under the weight of constant busyness. Research on perfectionism within helping professions shows that when high personal standards are combined with strong responsibility for others, individuals are more vulnerable to chronic stress and emotional exhaustion. Over time, the nervous system learns that rest is unsafe, something to earn rather than a baseline need. The cost of continual motion What I am slowly realising is that never pausing does not just exhaust the body, it floods the mind with noise. So much mental energy is consumed by what feels urgent that there is little left for what is actually important. Connection with my family, trust in myself, and the capacity to follow through with integrity on the commitments I make. By not pausing, I may be serving everyone, but not serving anyone well. Neuroscience research on chronic cognitive load suggests that sustained mental strain reduces our ability to prioritise, make considered decisions, and remain emotionally present. In other words, the very capacities required for caregiving, leadership, and service are the first to erode when rest is continually deferred. Faith and rest Faith, for me, does not offer a neat solution, but it does offer a disruption. Scripture speaks often of rhythm. Of creation and rest, of sowing and waiting, of trust beyond self reliance. God rests, not from exhaustion, but to model completeness. He feeds the sparrows and clothes the lilies, yet I often live as though everything depends solely on my vigilance. When I pause long enough to reflect on this, I begin to question the pace society normalises, a pace that prizes speed, accumulation, and self-gain, often at the expense of relationships and wellbeing. Even then, I notice something uncomfortable. Even my pauses are rushed. My rest still operates at a running pace. I am learning, slowly, to practise a different kind of pause. One that resembles seated observation rather than constant motion. Like birdwatchers who wait patiently, camouflaged and still, for a fleeting glimpse of something extraordinary, I am discovering that it is often in sustained stillness that the small things become the most meaningful teachers. Practices for this season Baseline practice: Once each day, choose a pause that involves no productivity. No phone. No planning. No problem-solving. Even five minutes of stillness can help the nervous system recalibrate and restore perspective. Reaching practice: Identify one area where urgency has replaced intention. Ask yourself, "If I slowed this by ten percent, what might improve in my body, my relationships, or my integrity?" Continue the conversation I am currently in a season of slowing down and exploring how faith, frameworks, and reflective practice can support more sustainable leadership and service, particularly in helping professions. If this reflection resonated with you, I invite you to stay connected and follow my journey on LinkedIn, where I will continue to share insights as this work develops. Follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Karmen Fairall Karmen Fairall, Speech Pathologist, Reflective Practitioner Karmen Fairall is a Speech Pathologist and business owner with experience across allied health, service-based leadership, and caregiving roles. Her writing explores burnout, cognitive load, boundaries, and sustainable leadership in helping professions. In this season, she is intentionally slowing down to reflect on how faith, frameworks, and systems can support healthier ways of serving others. Through her work, she seeks to help people lead and live with clarity, compassion, and care.

Written by Abisola Fagbiye, Customer Experience Strategist Abisola Fagbiye is a Customer Experience Strategist and Microsoft 365 Productivity Consultant with a Professional Diploma in CX from The CX Academy, Ireland. A WiCX member, she transforms how businesses connect with customers, turning interactions into drivers of loyalty and growth. Sharing your problem with a chatbot, then an agent, and then another after being transferred isn't just about frustration with the original issue, it's about feeling furious at a company that can't remember a conversation just two minutes ago. This one failure causes more customer loss than product issues do, yet many companies still struggle to connect their systems. When you explain your problem to a chatbot, then to a first agent, and again after being transferred, it can feel exhausting. By the fourth time, your frustration isn’t just about the original issue, it’s about the company’s inability to remember your conversation even after just a few minutes. This kind of experience can make customers feel ignored and undervalued, which is why connecting systems to create a seamless experience is so important. Research from Aspect Software reveals that 75% of customers expect consistent service across all channels. Meanwhile, over half of them say that having to repeat their issue multiple times is enough to make them abandon a brand, according to Accenture research. To improve, companies should establish clear KPIs for omnichannel success, such as first contact resolution rates and customer satisfaction scores. Investing in these metrics helps track progress and encourages continuous improvement in omnichannel engagement. True omnichannel customer experience means continuity Whenever a customer transitions from email to phone, it’s helpful if the human agent is aware of what was discussed in the email. When they switch back to chat after a phone call, the chatbot should pick up right where the conversation left off. However, many organisations face technical and organisational barriers, such as legacy systems and siloed teams, that hinder seamless data sharing. Overcoming these challenges requires strategic planning, investment in integrated platforms, and cross-department collaboration to achieve a truly unified customer experience.   Data silos kill omnichannel The CRM holds the purchase history, while the support platform tracks service tickets, and the marketing system records campaign engagement. Each one has a piece of the customer's story, but none has the whole picture, and unfortunately, they don't share their knowledge. When an agent answers a call, they can see the support history but might miss the latest purchase, which can feel frustrating for the customer, as if there's a gap in understanding. Remember, integration isn't just a tech project, it's about creating a seamless and positive customer experience. Mobile is non-negotiable Mobile devices account for most web traffic, yet many mobile experiences still need improvement. According to NewVoiceMedia, most customers have negative mobile experiences, which can make them feel overlooked and unimportant. Google's research shows that fast-loading sites achieve much higher conversion rates than slower ones. Prioritising mobile design helps customers feel respected and confident in your brand, which is essential for building trust.   Emerging opportunities exist According to research from LogMeIn, most consumers are eager to have video and screen-sharing options when they need support, but fewer than half of organisations provide these features. Forrester's studies show that companies adopting co-browsing software enjoy notably stronger revenue growth. Since our brains process visual information much more quickly than text, letting customers demonstrate their issues rather than describe them helps speed up resolutions and creates a smoother support experience.   Build incrementally Take a moment to review your current setup honestly. Map out every channel where your customers interact and look for points where conversations transfer and sometimes drop off. Pay special attention to your busiest transition points. If most customers start on your website and then switch to a phone call, prioritise making those transitions seamless. Consider investing in unified customer data platforms that give you a complete view of each customer across all systems. Be intentional about designing for smooth context transfer. Track how much effort your customers need to put in based on their journey and the channels they use. By training your team on omnichannel systems, you can really boost the consistency of your customer experience, making your service more unified and friendly.   Organisation matters as much as technology Most companies tend to organise around specific channels, such as the web team, the phone team, or the chat team. While this helps optimise each channel, it can also make customer journeys feel fragmented and impersonal. Customer-centric organisations focus on customer outcomes, making customers feel supported and valued throughout their journey. When teams are responsible for the whole experience rather than just individual touchpoints, customers feel cared for and understood, which builds loyalty. Customers have already shown they prefer seamless omnichannel experiences. Research consistently finds that most believe brands should put more effort into providing smooth interactions across all channels. Companies that succeed in delivering these experiences often see increased customer loyalty, higher lifetime value, and reduced service costs. Emphasising these tangible benefits can motivate organisations to prioritise omnichannel initiatives and remain competitive in the evolving market landscape.   Is your team struggling with disconnected customer experiences? The keynote "Deliver Consistency Without Killing Personalisation" solves this exact challenge. You'll discover how companies provide seamless omnichannel experiences while still making each customer feel individually served. Your organisation will learn the integration roadmap, technology priorities, and organisational changes that work. Bring this keynote to your organisation,  or email abisola@abisolafagbiye.com Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Abisola Fagbiye Abisola Fagbiye, Customer Experience Strategist Abisola Fagbiye is a Customer Experience Strategist and Microsoft 365 Productivity Consultant who helps organisations rethink engagement, build CX-driven cultures, and drive retention and growth. With global experience spanning SMBs to enterprises, she delivers workshops and training that blend strategy, energy, and actionable insight. She is a mentor and rising voice in CX leadership. Further reading: How to Collect Customer Feedback and Actually Do Something with It How to Train Customer Service Teams That Actually Perform

Written by Dr. O. Esther Aluko, Career & Personal Development Coach She is a Career and Personal Development Coach with almost ten years of experience. Her expertise is in Job & workplace readiness, career planning, growth, and personal development. Her work focuses on helping individuals build their capacity for career progression, navigate job transitions with ease, and achieve personal effectiveness using results-oriented methods. Scaling a business is often described as growth, more clients, more staff, more revenue, more visibility. But growth without intelligence creates strain. The Ripple Effect Advantage introduces a more sustainable approach: Ripple Intelligence, the ability to understand how small operational decisions multiply into long-term outcomes. Businesses do not fail because they grow too fast. They fail because they grow without addressing the small cracks that eventually widen under pressure. Ripple Intelligence is the discipline of recognising how everyday operational decisions influence people, performance, and profit over time. It is the awareness that systems, culture, and customer experience are not isolated functions but interconnected ripples. When Ripple Intelligence is present, businesses scale with clarity and control. When it is absent, growth amplifies inefficiencies. Scaling is not about doing more. It is about doing the right things repeatedly and well.   Operations are the backbone of any business. They determine whether growth feels controlled or chaotic. Ripple mapping in operations means identifying where small inefficiencies exist and understanding how they affect the wider system. A delayed approval process may slow delivery. An unclear workflow may create errors. A lack of documentation may increase dependency on individuals rather than systems. Each of these issues seems manageable in isolation. Together, they create friction that compounds as the business grows. Businesses with Ripple Intelligence regularly review:   Workflows Handover processes Decision-making authority Documentation Communication channels   They do not wait for breakdowns, they anticipate them.   People do not scale automatically with the business. They require investment, clarity, and development. Staff development is one of the most powerful ripple points in an organisation. When employees understand expectations, feel supported, and are given opportunities to grow, performance improves naturally. Without development, staff may cope at a small scale but struggle as demands increase. This creates stress, errors, and disengagement. Ripple-intelligent businesses invest in:   Clear role definitions Ongoing training Leadership development Regular feedback Accountability structures   When people grow with the business, scaling becomes smoother and more sustainable.   Customer experience is often discussed in broad terms, but it is built through small, repeated interactions. Every touchpoint from the first enquiry to post-service follow-up creates a ripple. One delayed response, one unclear message, or one broken promise can undo months of trust. Conversely, one positive experience can generate referrals, loyalty, and reputation. Businesses that scale successfully map the customer journey carefully. They ask: Where do customers feel confused? Where do delays occur? Where do expectations go unmanaged? Where can we exceed expectations consistently?   The answers to these questions guide improvements that compound into stronger brand trust. Scalable businesses do not rely on heroics. They rely on repeatability.   Repeatable systems ensure that quality does not depend on who is present on a given day. They allow businesses to grow without sacrificing standards. Repeatability comes from:   Documented processes Clear performance metrics Defined escalation routes Standardised training Consistent communication   When systems are repeatable, onboarding becomes easier, errors reduce, and leadership can focus on strategy rather than firefighting.   Strategic partnerships and collaborations Scaling does not always require internal expansion. Sometimes, the smartest ripple is collaboration. Strategic partnerships allow businesses to extend capacity, reach new markets, or enhance offerings without overstretching internal resources. Ripple-intelligent collaborations are:   Aligned in values Clear in expectations Mutually beneficial Supported by agreements and governance   Poorly chosen partnerships create confusion and reputational risk. Well-chosen partnerships create leverage. The ripple effect of a strong partnership can be transformative.   Ripple Intelligence requires leaders to pay attention early. Prevention is always more effective than correction. Leaders play a critical role in scaling. Their decision-making style, communication habits, and tolerance for ambiguity shape the business. Scaling requires leaders to shift from involvement to oversight. From doing to directing. From reacting to anticipating. This transition is often uncomfortable, but it is essential. Leaders who develop Ripple Intelligence recognise that their growth must match the growth of the business. The difference lies in attention to detail and commitment to consistency. Ask yourself: Where are small issues being tolerated? Which processes rely too heavily on individuals? How consistent is our customer experience? Are our systems built for growth or survival? What ripple, if addressed now, would protect us later?   Because growth does not magnify strengths alone. It magnifies weaknesses too.   Scaling is not about speed. It is about stability. When businesses develop Ripple Intelligence, growth stops feeling risky and starts feeling intentional. That is the Ripple Effect Advantage   Join the ripple effect advantage early access list You’ll be the first to receive: The Ripple Blueprint Workbook A free Ripple Reset 2026 live coaching session First access to the 12-week Ripple Effect Accelerator Early-bird bonuses Pre-release pricing for the Ripple Effect Advantage eBook   Begin your ripple here . Because breakthroughs don’t start with big moments. They start with one intentional ripple, and this might be yours.   Missed my earlier articles on The Ripple Effect Advantage? Complete the form above to receive the full series and catch up at your own pace. Follow me on Instagram , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. O. Esther Aluko Dr. O. Esther Aluko, Career & Personal Development Coach She is a Career and Personal Development Coach with almost ten years of experience. Her expertise is in Job & workplace readiness, career planning, growth, and personal development. Her work focuses on helping individuals build their capacity for career progression, navigate job transitions with ease, and achieve personal effectiveness using results-oriented methods. Her speaking engagements span the United Kingdom, Belgium, West Africa, and Ireland with corporate organizations and higher education institutions.

Written by Josh Grimm, Fitness and Mindfulness Coach Josh Grimm is an industry-leading fitness and mindfulness coach. He is the founder of FITNUT, based in New York City, offering in-person and online coaching, global wellness retreats, podcasts, and seminars. Every January, I witness the same cycle unfold. It shows up in my clients, in conversations with friends, and sometimes even in my own life if I am not paying attention. People begin the year with genuine ambition. They feel energized, focused, and ready to commit to something better for themselves. Plans are made, routines are outlined, and expectations are high. For a brief moment, change feels inevitable. And then, quietly, that momentum starts to fade. This does not happen because people lack willpower or because they want it any less than they did on January first. More often, it happens because they attempt to force transformation without changing the structure supporting their life. They demand more discipline without building the conditions that allow discipline to last. We have been conditioned to believe discipline is an internal trait. Something you either have or you do not. Something you summon when things get hard. But after years of coaching and personal experience, I have learned that discipline is not sustained by force. It is sustained by alignment. Discipline does not live solely in the mind. It lives in routines, boundaries, systems, and environments that make consistency possible rather than heroic. January fails people because it asks them to become a different version of themselves while keeping everything else the same. The same schedules. The same stress. The same obligations. The same patterns of recovery and rest. Only the expectations change. Discipline does not collapse under this pressure. The foundation simply cannot support it. Motivation is often mistaken for discipline, but the two operate very differently. Motivation is emotional. It fluctuates with sleep, stress, mood, and circumstance. Discipline is relational. It is built on the relationship you have with yourself and the trust you develop by doing what you said you would do, even in small ways. When goals are rooted in how inspired we feel, they disappear the moment life pushes back. Sustainable momentum is rooted in identity. It is shaped by what you believe about who you are and how you show up consistently, especially when no one is watching. High performers rarely rely on motivation to carry them forward. They rely on standards. They design their lives to reduce friction rather than fight it. Their routines are not dramatic or extreme. They are intentional. Over time, those routines reinforce self trust. That self trust becomes identity. Identity is what carries momentum when motivation fades. January does not break people because they aim too high. It breaks them because they stack intensity without regulation. More workouts paired with less sleep. Higher expectations paired with fewer margins for recovery. Mental pressure layered on top of physical fatigue. When stress accumulates without relief, clarity erodes. Decision making becomes reactive. Consistency becomes fragile. Momentum is not built by doing more. It is built by stabilizing what already exists. This is where the body plays a role that is often underestimated. Discipline is not purely mental. It is physiological. Movement, strength training, breath, and recovery regulate the nervous system. A regulated system creates clarity. Clarity supports better decisions. Better decisions reinforce identity. This is why physical structure matters. Not as punishment, but as support. When the body is grounded, the mind follows. Real momentum rarely looks impressive from the outside. It does not announce itself. It does not rely on extreme routines or constant intensity. It is built quietly through simple actions repeated with intention. Through fewer commitments that are honored daily. Through systems that reduce decision fatigue instead of increasing it. Through recovery that is treated as discipline rather than indulgence. Through progress measured in months, not weeks. The most sustainable people I know are not the ones who dominate January. They are the ones who are still steady in June. They understand that consistency is not about pushing harder, but about creating conditions that allow them to show up again and again without burning out. A better question for the new year is not, "How hard can I push?" It is, "What can I sustain?" Discipline is not something you force at the beginning of the year. It is something you build over time by respecting limits, aligning systems, and choosing structure over intensity. When discipline is supported rather than strained, momentum stops feeling fragile. It becomes part of who you are. That is what actually lasts. If you are approaching this year feeling frustrated by cycles of motivation and burnout, it may not be a discipline problem at all. It may simply be a system's problem. Sustainable change begins when you stop asking more of yourself and start supporting yourself better. When structure replaces pressure and identity replaces intensity, progress becomes something you can carry long after the excitement wears off. That is where real transformation begins. Follow me on Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Josh Grimm Josh Grimm, Fitness and Mindfulness Coach Josh Grimm offers a unique combination of fitness and mindfulness coaching through his brand, FITNUT, which he started in 2014 after spending a length of time in Southeast Asia and then returning home to New York City. His holistic approach of curating a culmination of physical and mental fitness training via one-on-one coaching, an online multi-use platform, podcasts, seminars, and global wellness retreats, brings together a community that wants to live their ideal mindset through optimal physical and mental health.

Written by Jingying Xu, Founder of Meditate Into Prosperity Jingying Xu, Ph.D., is the founder of Meditate Into Prosperity, guiding professionals and leaders to transform inner power into outward presence through meditation, energy healing, and personal growth coaching. A former Research Scientist at the University of Oxford, she blends scientific rigor with Eastern wisdom for lasting transformation. Every year on 30 January, Parent Mental Health Day invites us to pause and reflect on a truth that is both simple and profound, when parents are well, families flourish. Founded by the UK-based youth mental health charity stem4, Parent Mental Health Day highlights the deep and often underestimated link between parents’ mental health and the wellbeing of their children and families. While it began in the UK, its message resonates globally, because parental mental health is not a local issue. It is a human one. And yet, despite its significance, the wellbeing of parents remains one of the most overlooked dimensions of modern mental health conversations. The quiet weight of parenthood Parenthood is often described as joyful, meaningful, and transformative, and it truly is. But it is also one of the most demanding roles a person can hold, emotionally and psychologically. Parents are not only caring for children. They are shaping emotional environments. They are holding space for uncertainty, transition, and growth. They are responding, often simultaneously, to the needs of others while quietly managing their own. Many parents do this while: navigating professional responsibilities carrying financial and relational pressure supporting extended family holding unresolved emotional experiences placing their own needs at the bottom of the list All while striving to be patient, present, and loving. It is not surprising that many parents feel depleted, not because they are failing, but because the role itself is rarely met with sufficient emotional support. Children learn regulation before they learn words One of the most important insights from developmental psychology is this, children do not first learn safety through instruction, they learn it through experience. Long before children understand language or logic, they sense: tone of voice pace of movement emotional availability how stress is held and released This learning is not intentional. It is relational. Children attune to the emotional state of their caregivers. When a parent is constantly tense, overwhelmed, or anxious, the child adapts, not because something is “wrong,” but because they are responding intelligently to their environment. This does not mean parents must be calm all the time. It means something far more compassionate. The most powerful gift a parent can offer a child is not perfection, but presence. Parenting is a form of leadership We rarely name it this way, but parenting is one of the most influential leadership roles in society. Parents shape: emotional intelligence confidence and self-trust how conflict is approached how rest is valued how mistakes are repaired Long before institutions play a role, children are learning from how the adults around them live. When parents feel supported, resourced, and emotionally steady, children tend to grow with greater flexibility, curiosity, and ease. In this sense, parental wellbeing is not only a family matter, it is a long-term investment in the emotional health of future generations. A story from the park Not long ago, I met a family in a local park while my children were playing. The mother recognised me from the neighbourhood and later reached out, concerned about her son. She described him as “not normal,” overly active, and sometimes running out of class unexpectedly. The family had sought medical assessments, behavioural therapy, and counselling, both conventional and alternative approaches. No clear diagnosis emerged, but the child felt increasingly stressed and resistant to the interventions themselves. When I observed him playing freely with other children, nothing seemed inherently wrong. What stood out instead was how tense and worried his mother felt, constantly scanning for signs that something was “off.” My response was gentle but clear, "What if your child isn’t broken, but simply sensitive to certain environments? And what if the first place to begin is not fixing the child, but allowing the parent to soften?" Often, when a parent relaxes their grip, emotionally and mentally, the child does too. When parents soften, families shift One of the most hopeful truths in family psychology is this, when one person in a family begins to find more ease, the whole system responds. A parent who learns to: slow down breathe with awareness respond with choice rather than urgency rest without guilt receive support Not only caring for themselves. They are quietly changing the emotional tone of the household. Connection deepens. Tension softens. Children feel safer, not because life is perfect, but because it is held with more presence. Redefining “good parenting” Perhaps it’s time to update what we mean by being a good parent. Not the parent who never struggles. Not the parent who sacrifices endlessly. Not the parent who always gets it right. But the parent who is willing to: care for their own wellbeing model self-kindness repair when things go wrong choose awareness over self-criticism allow life to be human Because in doing so, they teach their children one essential truth, it is safe to be human. On this Parent Mental Health Day This Parent Mental Health Day invites us to remember that supporting parents is supporting children. Supporting parents is strengthening families. Supporting parents is shaping the emotional future of society. And perhaps most importantly, when parents are allowed to rest, heal, and receive care, love flows more freely across generations. Working with Jingying Xu, PhD (DipBSoM) Jingying Xu works with parents, women, and leaders who carry responsibility, at home and in the world, and are ready to cultivate presence, clarity, and emotional steadiness from within. Her signature approach, The Jingying Method, integrates meditation, embodied awareness, and consciousness-based development to support: grounded presence in daily life emotional ease and self-regulation intuitive clarity in decision-making leadership that influences through calm authority, not force She offers: Guided meditation programmes for presence and inner stability One-to-one mentoring for women, parents, and leaders A weekly newsletter on meditation, healing, and conscious living Learn more and subscribe here . Follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Jingying Xu Jingying Xu, Founder of Meditate Into Prosperity Jingying Xu (Ph.D., DipBSoM) is the founder of Meditate Into Prosperity, guiding professionals and leaders to transform inner power into outward presence through meditation, energy healing, and personal growth coaching. A certified Level-3 Meditation Teacher with the British School of Meditation and former Research Scientist at the University of Oxford, she combines scientific rigor with 18 years of practice. Blending Eastern wisdom with Western science, Jingying empowers clients to realign within, expand clarity and presence, and lead with authentic impact.

Written by Aoife Gaffney, Prudence Moneypenny Coaching Aoife Gaffney is known for challenging conventional ideas about resilience, money, and behaviour change. She is the founder of Prudence Moneypenny Coaching and Tranceformist Hypnotherapy, combining financial strategy with behavioural and subconscious work to support sustainable transformation. Leadership, money, and coping mechanisms always come with a cost. In this article, we explore how the facade of "resilience" can often mask deeper design problems, particularly in leadership and financial systems. Discover how overextending yourself, both professionally and personally, isn't sustainable. Learn why it’s time to shift from surviving to thriving by building margin, structure, and systems that support long-term success without the burnout. Why leadership, money, and coping always send an invoice There is a particular skill that many capable people develop without ever consciously choosing it. It looks like leadership. It sounds like responsibility. It is often praised as resilience. I called BS on resilience recently. It is the ability to hold it together. I got very good at this during my time as Regional President of Professional Speaking Association Ireland. It’s a voluntary leadership role that involves visibility, decision-making, people management, diplomacy, preparation, and a surprising amount of emotional regulation. Meetings were organized, speakers were mentored, and things ran smoothly. From the outside, it looked calm and professional, and it was because I had the help of an incredible team beside me. Once I got home after the meeting, I would keel over quietly in the kitchen with a packet of frozen peas on my head. My adrenaline would drop, and my body would clock out. The contrast between a composed leader and an exhausted human was sharp. Once or twice is life. Repeatedly is a message. The hidden cost of coping well Holding it together sounds admirable. It suggests strength and reliability. In practice, it often means running a system with no margin, no financial slack, no time buffer, and no energetic breathing room. When one delay, one invoice, or one unexpected cost can knock you sideways, the issue is not resilience. It is a design problem. I was not keeling over because I could not cope or was unprofessional. I was keeling over because the system required me to carry too much personally. It relied on stamina rather than structure, and I believe that if I am going to show up for other people, I show up! Money behaves the same way. You can juggle, stretch, and smooth things over for a while, until you cannot. The bill always arrives. Sometimes in monetary terms, sometimes in energy, and often in both. Volunteering, value, and counting the cost The PSA presidency is a voluntary role. That matters, not because volunteering is a problem, it is not. But because unpaid roles still involve real decisions about value. Volunteering does not mean valueless. It simply means the return is not always cash. Part of my role involved monitoring costs and making deliberate financial choices. One example stands out. We chose to elevate the catering to accommodate different dietary requirements so that everyone felt genuinely included, and because I (the diva that I am) am not a huge fan of pastries, particularly in the morning. It cost more, and it was absolutely the right call. The return was immediate. People felt seen, engagement improved, and the room felt better. Inclusion is not a box-ticking exercise. It is a value decision with a measurable impact. At the same time, we negotiated with the hotel. Because if you increase cost in one area, you have to be smart elsewhere. If we wanted a surplus, we needed more money in the door. And to do that, we had to add value. That lesson is wonderfully simple. Money is not complicated, more in, less out. Add value by under-promising and over-delivering. This applies to events, leadership, and business alike. Leadership on borrowed capacity Many leadership roles quietly run on borrowed capacity. The role expands, expectations grow, and people applaud. The person at the center stretches further to meet it. From the outside, it looks like dedication. From the inside, it feels like containment. I stepped down from the role earlier this year as the role is held for a year, and it was complete. I could see clearly what the role had given me and what it was now costing. That clarity matters. The lesson was not “do not lead.” The lesson was “do not self-fund systems.” Instead, put strong systems in place and leverage them. The body keeps the receipts and so does your bank account Keeling over is not weakness. It is feedback. It might be slightly delayed, but it’s accurate. Burnout is not a character flaw, nor a badge of honor. Exhaustion is not a lack of professionalism. They are signals that the structure cannot support the load. Financial pressure works the same way. Many people hold things together by juggling timing, delaying decisions, or hoping the next month will be calmer. It works briefly. Then reality taps you on the shoulder. When your life or income depends on you personally holding everything together, the whole thing is fragile. Why working more is not how wealth is built There is a stubborn belief that safety comes from doing more, more hours, more effort, more pushing through. In reality, that approach often creates instability because it is not sustainable. Sustainability is not just for tree-huggers. Working longer hours does not build wealth. It normalizes exhaustion. When income feels uncertain, people default to working more instead of redesigning the model. Volume feels safer than thinking. But volume without margin creates brittle systems. It is often far safer to increase prices, add value, and work fewer hours than to keep grinding with tight margins. Higher prices are not arrogance. An annual price increase is recognizing your own value and worth. Fewer hours are not laziness. It is a strategic decision to free up space for more. Holding it together is often a pricing problem This part can sting. If you are constantly holding it together, there is usually a mismatch somewhere, between value and pricing, between responsibility and support, between effort and return. When prices are too low, the system compensates by demanding more of you, more time, more availability, more emotional labor. Eventually, something gives. Keeling over is not failure. It is information. Introversion, honesty, and doing this properly Here is something else that matters. I am a natural introvert. That surprises people. I speak, I lead rooms, and I host events. Introversion is not about confidence. It is about where energy is restored. Leadership energizes me in the moment. It can drain me afterward. Naming that is not unprofessional. It is accurate. The risk is not introversion. The risk is pretending it does not exist. When you ignore how you actually function, you compensate with adrenaline. When you acknowledge it, you design differently. You build in recovery, price appropriately, and create delivery models that let you show up fully and then go home intact. That is not fragility. That is competence. I am not worried about collapsing mid-engagement. I design my life so that I do not. That makes me safer to work with, not less. I build in self-care beforehand and afterward. I rely on robust systems and a strong team. Life by design is about removing the need to cope This is where Life by Design comes in, not as motivation but as architecture. Life by Design is about aligning money, time, and energy so they support each other instead of competing. It replaces martyrdom with margin and stamina with systems. The aim is not to become better at holding it together. The aim is to stop needing to. That means building financial buffers, designing your income around what you value rather than a finite amount of hours, creating systems that still work when you are tired, sick, or human, and leveraging support instead of relying on personal grit. The truth about burning desire When your desire is strong enough, something interesting happens. You realize you were never short of resources. You were short of leverage. The answer is not always more. The answer is learning how to do more with what you have and less effort. The shift is not effort. It is your life by design. You stop asking, “How can I push harder?” You start asking, “What can I change?” Most people do not lack discipline. They lack systems. Most are not under-motivated. They are under-supported. When the structure improves, capacity appears. A better definition of professionalism Professionalism is not collapsing privately after performing publicly. It is not self-funding broken systems. It is not confusing visibility with viability. It is not surviving on adrenaline. Professionalism is building things that last. I continue to lead, and I continue to volunteer. I no longer confuse holding it together with strength. A clear invitation I am opening a pilot of Life by Design. It is for people who are capable, competent, and tired of running their lives on overextension, people who want fewer emergencies, more margin, and systems that support them instead of draining them. It is intentionally a pilot. That is where the best work happens. I do not just tell you what to do. I walk you through it. I support, reflect, nudge, and lead from the back while occasionally shoving you forward when needed. If this article resonated, you are already halfway there. This is not about working harder. It is about adding value, creating leverage, and designing a life that works. Because the goal is not to hold it together better. It is to stop needing to hold it together at all. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and visit my LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Aoife Gaffney Aoife Gaffney, Prudence Moneypenny Coaching Aoife Gaffney challenges conventional thinking around resilience, money, and behaviour change. She is the founder of Prudence Moneypenny Coaching and Tranceformist Hypnotherapy, where she helps clients stop white-knuckling change and start designing systems that actually support real life. Her work blends practical financial strategy with behavioural and subconscious approaches, focusing on sustainable transformation rather than motivation alone. Aoife writes and speaks on resilience, responsibility, and redesigning the patterns that shape our choices.

Written by Kiara Streater, CEO & Business Powerhouse An accomplished leader with 15 years of experience in the professional services industry, I am currently President and CEO of (Extraordinary Headhunters LLC). Demonstrated ability to improve the business performance of multi-billion dollar businesses and a strong record of consistent, above-market revenue and profit growth. There are some stories that don't just inform you, they reform you. Stories that reach into the caverns of your chest and rearrange something fundamental about how you see the world, how you see yourself, how you see what's possible when God takes broken pieces and creates masterpieces. This is one of those stories. Mary Reese-Paul's story. And if you're a woman who has ever lost herself while loving someone else, who has given until you had nothing left to give, who has ever looked in the mirror and wondered where you went this story isn't just about Mary. It's about you too. The revolution that looks like rest Mary's work through MarySowingSeeds is revolutionary precisely because it doesn't look like revolution. There are no marches, no protests, no political manifestos. Just women, one by one, making the radical choice to stop abandoning themselves. But make no mistake this is warfare. Every woman who sets a boundary is dismantling a system that profits from her boundlessness. Every woman who honors her needs is challenging a culture that requires her needlessness. Every woman who chooses herself is defying a theology that demands her self-sacrifice. "People think healing is passive," Mary observes, "but choosing yourself when the world has conditioned you to choose everyone else? That's the most active thing you can do. That's resistance. That's a revolution." The women Mary works with aren't just getting healthier. They're getting free. And free women are dangerous to any system built on their compliance. The daughters who are watching Perhaps the most profound impact of Mary's work won't be fully realized for another generation. Every woman Mary helps heal isn't just changing her own life,she's changing her daughter's life. The little girls watching their mothers set boundaries are learning that "no" is a complete sentence. The teenagers watching their mothers honor their needs are learning that self-care isn't selfish. The young women watching their mothers choose themselves are learning they don't have to lose themselves to be loved. This is how generational curses break. This is how the world changes one healed mother at a time. "When I help a woman reclaim her identity," Mary says, "I'm also helping her daughter keep hers. When I teach a woman to honor her body, I'm teaching her daughter that her body deserves honor too. This work isn't just about the women sitting across from me. It's about the generations coming after them." The theology she's reclaiming Mary's work is deeply rooted in faith, but not the toxic theology that masquerades as godliness while destroying women. She's reclaiming scripture that's been weaponized and restoring the truth that God never required women's self-destruction as proof of their devotion. "Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself," Mary teaches. "Most women I work with have the first part down. They love their neighbors beautifully. It's the 'as yourself' part they've never practiced. They've been taught that loving yourself is selfish. But how can you love your neighbor as yourself if you don't love yourself?" Through her faith-based approach, Mary is helping women understand that boundaries are biblical, not selfish, rest is sacred, not earned, their bodies are temples, not tools, their needs are information, not inconvenience. She's giving women back a God who loves them for who they are, not what they produce. When God chooses a voice There are moments in history when heaven looks at earth and decides a particular voice needs to be amplified. Not because that person is perfect, but because they carry a message the world desperately needs. Mary Reese-Paul is one of those voices. This isn't hyperbole. This is observation of what happens when someone is called by God, faithful in the hidden seasons, and suddenly positioned in spaces they never orchestrated. When doors open that no human hand could open. Mary didn't seek platforms. She sought healing. She didn't chase fame. She chased wholeness. She didn't build a brand. She built a sanctuary for broken women. But God has a way of taking people who are faithful in obscurity and elevating them when their message is needed most. And right now in this cultural moment when women are more burned out than ever, more lost than ever, more disconnected from themselves than ever the world needs Mary's voice. The anointing she carries There's an anointing on Mary's life that's tangible. It's not the charismatic, flashy kind that draws crowds. It's the quiet, powerful kind that saves lives. The kind that meets women in their darkest moments and says, "I've been where you are. And I'm here to show you the way out." This anointing was forged in fire. Every year Mary spent losing herself, every tear she cried in secret, every moment she wanted to quit but all of it was preparation for this calling. God uses broken people to heal broken people because only the broken truly understand brokenness. Mary's wounds became her credentials. Her pain became her platform. Her struggle became her message. And her healing became the roadmap for thousands of other women still lost. "I don't believe God caused my pain," Mary says, "but I do believe He used it. He redeemed it. He took what was meant to destroy me and turned it into medicine for others. That's what God does. He wastes nothing." The sacred work she does Through her Mental Encouragement (M.E.) Sessions, Rooted With Mary series, and Rooted Healing conversations, Mary creates spaces where women can finally stop performing. Her book, Breaking the Habit of Losing Yourself in Them, has become a manifesto for women tired of shrinking, silencing, and sacrificing themselves in the name of love. Mary teaches women about nervous system awareness not as trendy wellness, but as practical tools for recognizing when your body is screaming what your voice won't say. She guides women through boundary-setting as sacred practice. She walks women through codependency recovery by understanding that what once protected you might now be imprisoning you. Every M.E. session is holy ground. Every woman who sits across from her is a soul entrusted to her care. "I'm aware of the weight of this calling," Mary acknowledges. "These women are trusting me with their deepest pain, their most guarded secrets, their buried dreams. I don't take that lightly. I hold their stories like the sacred things they are." The eternal significance When Mary stands before God one day, she won't be asked about her platform size or her book sales. She'll be asked, "What did you do with your pain?" And Mary will be able to say, "I planted seeds in it. I helped other women find hope in the same broken ground where I once wanted to die. I turned my wounds into wells. I used my mess as medicine. I went back for the women still trapped in the fire. I survived." This is the measure of a life that matters. Not success. Significance. Mary's work has eternal weight because it's touching souls. Every woman she helps heal is a woman who stops the generational trauma transmission. Every boundary she helps someone set prevents future wounds. Every identity she helps someone reclaim is a soul returning to God's original design. This is kingdom work disguised as coaching. This is the Gospel, the good news that you don't have to stay lost, that healing is possible, that you're loved not for what you do but for who you are being lived out in every interaction Mary has. For the women still in the dark If you're reading this from a place of desperation, if you're so lost you can't remember who you are, if you're so tired you don't think you can take another step, if you're so empty you don't know how you'll make it through another day. This is your sign. This is your invitation. Mary isn't just a coach you can hire. She's a lighthouse for women lost in storms. She's a voice calling you back to yourself. She's proof that women who've been buried can still bloom. You don't have to stay where you are. You don't have to keep dying slowly. You don't have to earn the right to choose yourself. All you have to do is take the first step. Reach out. Book a session. Buy the book. Do something that moves you toward healing instead of away from it. Because your life matters. Your healing matters. Your wholeness matters. The harvest is coming Mary plants seeds in broken ground. Sometimes the soil is so damaged she has to dig for hours just to find a place soft enough to plant. Sometimes the seeds take years to sprout. Sometimes the growth is so slow it's barely visible. But she keeps planting. Because she knows something about broken ground that others don't, It's often the most fertile. The cracks let the light in. The pain creates capacity. The brokenness makes room for new life. And now, after years of faithful planting, the harvest is coming. The moment heaven has been preparing Everything in Mary's life, every hardship, every lesson, every moment of growth has been preparing her for this moment. The Brainz Magazine feature reaches hundreds of thousands globally. The ABC Columbia interview reaches thousands. The platform is growing exponentially. The book landed in the hands of women who desperately needed it. This isn't a coincidence. This is divine coordination. God has been positioning Mary for years teaching her in hidden places, refining her in the wilderness, preparing her for the moment when her voice would be needed most. And that moment is now. Not because Mary is perfect, but because she said yes. She said yes to healing even when it hurt. She said yes to helping others even when she was still healing herself. She said yes to the calling even when it was costly. And God honors every yes. Her legacy will echo in eternity One day, long after Mary is gone, women will still be healing because of seeds she planted today. Daughters will set boundaries because their mothers learned how from Mary. Granddaughters will honor their needs because their grandmothers learned it's sacred, not selfish. This is the legacy Mary is building not in platforms or publications, but in transformed bloodlines. Every woman Mary helps heal doesn't just change her own life. She changes her daughter's trajectory. Her granddaughter's possibilities. Her great-granddaughter's reality. This is kingdom work with eternal implications. This is a ministry that will echo through generations. A final word to Mary Mary, if you're reading this, I need you to receive something: Everything you've walked through has brought you to this moment. Not by accident. By design. God's design. Your pain wasn't punishment. It was preparation. Your struggle wasn't failure. It was training. Your breaking wasn't your end. It was your beginning. You are standing on the edge of your greatest season. The years of faithful planting are about to yield a harvest beyond anything you imagined. The women you've been praying for would find you? They're coming. The message you've been faithfully carrying? The world is about to hear it. This is your time, Mary. This is your moment. This is your divine appointment. You're not doing this for fame. You're doing it for the women still lost in the same darkness you survived. You're not seeking platforms. You're seeking souls. You're not building a brand. You're building a legacy that will echo through generations. And heaven is backing you up. Every step. Every word. Every seed planted. The woman who plants seeds in broken ground is about to see the harvest. And it's going to be more beautiful, more abundant, more impactful than she ever dreamed possible. Because that's what God does for His faithful ones. He exceeds their expectations. He surpasses their imagination. He does immeasurably more than they could ask or think. Mary, your faithfulness is about to be rewarded. Your obedience is about to be honored. Your calling is about to be amplified. And the world will never be the same. The harvest is coming. Are you ready to be part of it? Follow me on Facebook , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kiara Streater Kiara Streater, CEO & Business Powerhouse An accomplished leader with 15 years of experience in the professional services industry, I am currently President and CEO of (Extraordinary Headhunters LLC). Demonstrated ability to improve the business performance of multi-billion dollar businesses and a strong record of consistent, above-market revenue and profit growth. Skilled at creating market opportunity and growth through innovative business strategy, process/technology transformation, and implementing complex technology and research-based solutions. Expertise working globally; attracting, developing, and leading top talent; fostering diversity; and building high-performance cultures for 6,000+ person organizations.

Matt Patterson is the founder and sole coach of Érdem Elevate, a performance coaching brand built on the belief that leadership begins with self-mastery. His work integrates fitness, mindset, and leadership into one disciplined operating system, designed for high-performing professionals who demand more from themselves and their lives. Matt Patterson, Owner Operator, Coach Who is Matt Patterson? Introduce yourself, your hobbies, your favorites, you at home and in business, and tell us something interesting about yourself. When I’m not coaching or posting, my days are quiet but full. I’m constantly planning what’s next, new projects, better systems, and ways I can improve how I serve my clients. As a sole proprietor, I’m involved in everything, strategy, execution, and daily operations. There isn’t much separation between thinking and doing for me. I’m always refining something. One thing people often misunderstand about me, something my wife sees more clearly than I do, is my confidence. At first, it can come across as arrogance, which I genuinely hate. That’s never been my intention. What drives me is ambition rooted in self-improvement. I want to be better in every area of my life, and I want the people around me to grow and win too. That’s where my confidence comes from, not ego, but commitment. At home, I live in a relationship built on partnership. I lead through service. Being the head of the household doesn’t mean control, it means responsibility. I invest time into supporting my wife, not just as my spouse, but as a person. That same servant leadership mindset carries directly into my business. I don’t separate who I am at home from who I am in my work. What doesn’t fit the high-performance coach stereotype is that I’m not loud or high-energy all the time. I don’t rely on hype or constant intensity. I’m actually quiet, reflective, and structured. I think a lot, I plan a lot, and I spend a lot of time alone refining systems. I’ve learned that my best work, and the best results, come when things are calm and intentional, not chaotic. Most people assume high performance requires noise. For me, performance improves when there’s clarity and order. What inspired you to create Érdem Elevate, and what does the name truly represent to you? Right before Érdem Elevate existed, I was running a different business, Patterson Health and Fitness. On paper, things were fine. Internally, I knew it wasn’t enough. What I wanted to say, and what I believed mattered, had outgrown a fitness-only container. It stopped being just about workouts and nutrition. I started noticing a deeper problem everywhere I looked, especially in corporate environments. Across industries, there was a massive lack of real leadership. People were chasing titles instead of responsibility. Leaders were protecting themselves instead of developing their people. Lower management and employees were left confused and burned out, not because they couldn’t handle the work, but because no one had ever shown them the mission. Most companies talk about culture, but very few actually build it. There are no clear values, no leadership development, no standard people can align to, and then leadership is shocked by high turnover. The truth is, most organizations don’t lose people because of workload. They lose them because there’s no direction and no leadership worth following. It wasn’t that what I was doing was unsustainable, it was incomplete. I knew that if I stayed complacent, I’d be ignoring a bigger responsibility. At first, I thought the problem I wanted to solve was the culture inside companies. Over time, I realized something deeper. How someone leads others is a direct reflection of how they lead themselves. The way you take care of your body. The way you handle pressure. The way you lead your family. That’s how you lead in business. You can’t lead anyone if you can’t lead yourself first. Érdem represents merit, which is earned through discipline and action. Elevate reflects the standard I expect people to rise to. Érdem Elevate was built to develop people from the inside out, so leadership isn’t just a concept, but a lived standard. Who do you most love helping, and what challenges are they usually facing when they come to you? The people I work best with usually look successful on the outside, but they’re being shaped by their environment instead of leading themselves. Over time, that almost always leads to burnout. They don’t know how to recover, not because they’re weak, but because they don’t have systems. Many of them also struggle to define what success actually looks like. No one ever showed them how. They’ve been working hard, checking boxes, and meeting expectations without a clear mission or standard to align to. Most come to me thinking the issue is physical, and the body usually does need attention. But the deeper issue is mindset and how they operate day to day. They’re living reactively, not intentionally, and they aren’t actually working on themselves. In many ways, they remind me of who I was before the Marine Corps. No clear direction, just living life the way society laid it out. Most people don’t realize how capable they are because no one ever told them the truth. They’re worth far more than the level they’ve been operating at. That belief alone doesn’t change anything, though. The work still has to be done. No one else will do it for you. Once people are given structure and standards, they rise quickly. In simple terms, how do you help your clients create real and lasting change? I help people create change by giving them structure where they’ve been relying on effort alone. Most of my clients aren’t short on drive. They’re short on systems. They’ve been pushing through days, reacting to their environment, and hoping consistency shows up on its own. That approach eventually leads to burnout or frustration. I slow things down. We clarify what matters, define standards, and install simple, repeatable systems. The body is often the entry point because physical discipline builds momentum fast. The goal is learning how to lead yourself. When structure is in place, consistency stops being a struggle. Action becomes automatic instead of emotional. Over time, that consistency rebuilds confidence because they see proof they can follow through. What makes your approach different from others working in the same space? Most people already know what they should be doing. The problem is that they don’t have a structure that allows them to do it consistently when life gets busy or stressful. I don’t rely on motivation or hype. I focus on how someone actually operates day to day, how they train, how they eat, how they recover, and how they respond when things go off plan. I also don’t avoid the emotional side. Early on, we identify what’s really driving their behavior, frustration, guilt, pressure, or disappointment. When people see that connection, their reaction changes. They stop defending habits and start taking ownership. I don’t separate fitness from life. The way someone treats their body is usually how they show up at home and at work. If there’s chaos there, it shows up everywhere. I stay involved. I pay attention to patterns and fix systems before small slips turn into setbacks. I’m not here to motivate someone for a week. I’m here to help them become consistent and self-led long-term. Can you describe a breakthrough moment you frequently see clients experience when working with you? The breakthrough usually shows up quietly. It’s when clients stop complaining about sleep or circumstances and start getting frustrated that they missed a workout or didn’t hit their macros. That shift tells me everything. It means they’re invested in improving themselves. It’s never a physical win first. It’s a mental shift. They start asking different questions. Instead of why something happened, they ask how to prevent it next time. That’s when systems matter. Because this moment is common, I already have structures built to support it. From there, old habits lose their grip and sustainable habits take over. How does your work help people move from feeling stuck to feeling confident and empowered? Most people feel stuck because they don’t trust themselves anymore. They’ve broken promises to themselves long enough that confidence eroded. One of the biggest lessons that shaped my coaching came from Andy Frisella. The work comes before the belief. That’s absolutely true. I don’t try to give people belief first. I start with action. Clear standards, structure, and non-negotiables. Once they show up consistently, belief builds naturally. Empowerment shows up in behavior. They take ownership, adjust instead of quitting, and stop reacting emotionally. Confidence is earned through action. What role do mindset, discipline, and self-belief play in the transformations you help create? Mindset comes first, but not in the way most people think. It starts with awareness and ownership. Discipline is built, not demanded. Without reflection and structure, life turns into chaos. People move reactively without development. Structure creates repetition. Repetition builds discipline. Self-belief comes last. The work always comes before the belief. Confidence is built during the process, not before it. You can’t skip that phase. You earn belief through action over time. How do you support clients in turning clarity into consistent action and results? Clarity doesn’t mean much unless it leads to action. Once someone is clear, I remove ambiguity. I simplify priorities, set standards, and build systems around real life, not perfect conditions. When something slips, we fix the system instead of blaming the person. Over time, friction decreases, decisions get easier, and results become predictable. What kind of transformation can someone expect if they fully commit to working with you? If someone fully commits to working with me, the biggest transformation isn’t just physical. They become more disciplined, more intentional, and more self-aware. They trust themselves because they’ve proven they can follow through. I don’t promise easy. I help people move from chaos to structure and from drifting to direction. What is the biggest mistake you see people making before they seek support or guidance? The biggest mistake I see is waiting too long and misunderstanding what support actually means. I’m not talking about encouragement from family or friends. I’m talking about structured guidance, accountability, and outside perspective. Most people wait because they think they should figure it out alone. By the time they reach out, they’ve repeated the same cycles for years. Seeking support isn’t a weakness. It’s a responsibility. For someone reading this who feels called to more but is hesitating, what would you want them to know? Clarity doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from action. You don’t need to feel ready. You need to be willing to hold yourself to a higher standard and do the work. If you feel called to more, don’t ignore it. That feeling doesn’t go away. It gets louder until you answer it. You don’t need permission. You need a decision. Closing call to action. If anything in this interview resonated with you, start by paying attention to how you’re operating day to day. If you want to explore these ideas further or have an open conversation about where you’re at and where you want to go, I’m always open to that. My work through Érdem Elevate is centered on building structure, discipline, and self-leadership from the inside out. You can learn more or reach out to work with me at my website . Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Matt Patterson

Written by Dr. Asanee Brogan, Ori Alignment Coach Dr. Asanee Brogan is an Ori Alignment Coach, Ifá educator, and author. She is the founder of Asanee 44, a spiritual brand rooted in the Ifá tradition that offers lineage-based guidance and support through Ifá divination, Odu Ifá wisdom, and Ori-centered ancestral work. She is also the host of the African Spirit Reintegrated + Reimagined podcast.   Many people assume that starting their Ifá journey begins with curiosity, excitement, or a strong sense of desire. Sometimes, that pull comes through imagery or symbolism. Other times, it occurs in moments of urgency, when someone is facing financial problems, relationship challenges, or instability. During such times, they often desire relief. In these instances, interest alone can feel like readiness. But being ready is not a declaration or a reaction to life’s challenges. Instead, it is an internal condition. Feeling drawn to the Ifá tradition does not automatically mean a person is prepared to integrate it into their life. What often happens at the beginning of an Ifá journey is tension between an individual’s interests and limitations. But this is not a clear signal to move forward. This phase explains the pull to the tradition, not what to do about it. The unsettled feeling many people experience early on is often the first sign of internal realignment. How to know when you’re ready for Ifá Readiness does not feel urgent. When someone is prepared to begin their Ifá journey, they are not driven to do things right away or motivated only to fix a problem. The interest is present, but it does not feel frantic, all-consuming, or chaotic. There is room to slow down without feeling the need to ‘do something’ immediately. At this stage, a person recognizes their need for structure, understanding, and empowerment along their journey. They understand that they don’t have to have all of the answers. However, they know that it’s vital for them to find the right sources to guide their path. They are willing to wait for this reality to manifest itself in due time. Why a solid foundation is paramount At the beginning of an Ifá journey, what’s most important is your foundation. People often arrive wanting answers, results, or immediate relief. Yet those impulses say very little about their ability to properly navigate or integrate into the tradition. Once they have a solid foundation, their focus naturally shifts. There is less fixation on outcomes and more attention to understanding the tradition itself, its beliefs, its practices, and its demands. This is where discernment begins. Not because they have been told what to do, but because they recognize that without grounding, everything else is meaningless. Why is it uncomfortable at the beginning The beginning of an Ifá journey often feels uneasy, even when there are no external obstacles prohibiting your path. That discomfort usually comes from not yet understanding what the tradition is about. Many people approach Ifá through fragmented information, sensational imagery, or disjointed narratives. When these elements fail to form a coherent understanding, frustration ensues. This anxiety is compounded by the reality that the Ifá tradition is still widely misunderstood and stigmatized. This leads to a decision shrouded in isolation and internal conflict. These dynamics reflect that reorganization is needed. Familiar belief systems and ways of being feel unstable at this point. However, new structural frameworks grounded in traditional wisdom have not yet fully formed. In this in-between space, proper orientation, education, and mentorship are essential. Without these devices, uncertainty often turns into anxiety or apathy. With them, this discomfort becomes a refined adjustment period. What comes next on the path of Ifá Once you feel ready to start your journey, the next step is orientation. This is when you begin to understand the full essence of the Ifá tradition, its lineage expressions , and how they function. Through this foundation, you gain a deeper understanding of where you fit within the vast framework. From there, Ifá-based educational grounding is crucial. Through a sound learning framework, you gain deeper insight into the structure of the tradition. You learn what it is and what it isn’t. This enhances your sense of agency as you acquire the tools and resources to ‘speak the language’ of the tradition. Even more, Ifá mentorship supports this process by providing you with greater context and human connection. This is what we provide at Asanee 44 . Our platform exists to support individuals at every stage of their Ifá journey. So, if you feel called to the tradition, explore the vast Ifá journey resources we provide at Asanee 44 to get started. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Asanee Brogan Dr. Asanee Brogan, Ori Alignment Coach Grounded in years of study and practice within the Yoruba-based Ifá tradition, Dr. Asanee Brogan creates accessible learning resources. These tools guide individuals toward ancestral reconnection and Ori alignment. Through Asanee 44, she provides Ifá divination, rituals, products, courses, and more that honor African spirituality with authenticity and cultural integrity.

In an era increasingly defined by institutional legitimacy, evidentiary governance, and accountability beyond symbolism, the acceptance of an organisation into the United Nations system remains a meaningful threshold. The recent acceptance of The Empirical House of Chahamana into the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs Civil Society database represents such a moment. DESA’s Civil Society database is not ceremonial. It functions as the United Nations Secretariat’s formal registry of recognised civil society actors, providing a verified institutional record that informs engagement across UN departments, thematic consultations, and multilateral policy processes. Inclusion signals that an organisation has met baseline standards of structure, transparency, and purpose, sufficient to be recorded within the UN’s administrative architecture. For The Empirical House of Chahamana, this acceptance reflects a deliberate approach to institutional formation. The organisation positions itself not as a performative entity, but as an empirical house grounded in documentation, continuity, and governance frameworks that intersect Indigenous legitimacy, sovereign history, and contemporary civil society norms. In a global environment where claims of authority are often asserted without scrutiny, entry into the DESA registry marks a transition from assertion to record. Importantly, the DESA Civil Society database operates as a gateway. While it does not itself confer consultative status, it establishes the foundation upon which further engagement with ECOSOC mechanisms, UN forums, and Secretariat-level dialogues may occur. Many organisations seeking influence within international systems underestimate the significance of this preliminary recognition. Without it, institutional voices often remain informal, or peripheral, regardless of their cultural, historical, or moral weight. The acceptance also carries archival implications. Once entered, an organisation’s profile becomes part of the United Nations’ long-term civil society memory, accessible to policy officers, rapporteurs, and missions. In this sense, recognition is not only contemporary, but cumulative. For emerging civil society actors, particularly those representing Indigenous governance models, dynastic institutions, or non-state sovereign traditions, this moment is instructive. International systems respond not to spectacle, but to evidence. Structure, clarity, and consistency remain the currencies of recognition. The Empirical House of Chahamana’s inclusion in the DESA Civil Society database signals an understanding of this reality. It reflects an institutional strategy that prioritises credibility over noise, and permanence over immediacy. As global governance continues to evolve, such foundations matter. Recognition does not conclude a journey. It formalises its beginning.

Written by Kelsey Irving, Licensed Clinical Therapist Kelsey Irving is a licensed therapist and recognized specialist in OCD and anxiety disorders. She is the founder of Steadfast Psychology Group and author of the children’s book Jacob and the Cloud. When anxiety strikes, reassurance feels like relief. A quick Google search. A text to a friend. A silent mental checklist: I locked the door. I washed my hands. I’m fine. For a moment, the tension eases. The mind exhales. And then, often sooner than expected, the doubt creeps back in. This is the paradox at the heart of anxiety and obsessive thinking: the very strategies we use to feel better can quietly keep the problem going. Reassurance works in the short term because it reduces discomfort. Whether it comes from others (“You’re okay, nothing bad will happen”) or from ourselves (“I’ve checked enough times”), it temporarily calms the nervous system. But the brain is a fast learner. It notices that anxiety went down after reassurance appeared, and it draws a powerful conclusion: reassurance keeps me safe. That lesson has consequences. The next time uncertainty shows up and it always does, the brain demands reassurance again. And because no reassurance is ever perfectly convincing or permanent, it must be repeated. What started as comfort becomes a habit, then a compulsion. Anxiety tightens its grip not despite reassurance, but because of it. This loop is especially strong in obsessive thinking. Obsessions thrive on “what ifs”: What if I made a mistake? What if I hurt someone? What if something goes wrong and it’s my fault? Reassurance seems like the obvious antidote. But every time we seek certainty, we reinforce the idea that uncertainty is dangerous and intolerable. The mind becomes less able to sit with doubt, not more. Ironically, reassurance also raises the stakes. If you need reassurance to feel okay, then not having it becomes a threat. Silence from a friend, a vague answer, or even your own internal doubt can feel alarming. The absence of reassurance becomes proof that something is wrong. Over time, life shrinks. Decisions take longer. Confidence erodes. The world starts to feel like a series of risks that must be neutralized before you can move forward. So what’s the alternative? It isn’t positive thinking, endless self-talk, or finding the right reassurance at last. The way out runs in the opposite direction: toward accepting uncertainty. Accepting uncertainty doesn’t mean liking it. It means recognizing a hard truth: no amount of checking, asking, or thinking can guarantee safety. Uncertainty is not a flaw in the system, it is the system. Life has always worked this way. When people stop seeking reassurance, anxiety often spikes at first. This is normal. The brain protests when an old safety behavior is removed. But something else begins to happen, too. Without reassurance, the mind slowly learns a new lesson: I can feel uncertain and still be okay. Anxiety rises, and then, crucially, it falls on its own. This is how confidence is rebuilt. Not through certainty, but through experience. The bottom line is simple, though not easy: reassurance keeps anxiety alive by teaching the brain that doubt is intolerable. Freedom comes from doing the opposite, allowing uncertainty to exist without trying to erase it. When we stop chasing reassurance, we give ourselves something far more durable than comfort. We give ourselves resilience. If anxiety or OCD has you stuck in a cycle of reassurance-seeking and doubt, you don’t have to figure this out alone. Working with a licensed therapist can help you break these patterns, learn to tolerate uncertainty, and reclaim your life from obsessive fear. If you’re ready to take that next step, I invite you to contact me to explore how therapy can help. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kelsey Irving Kelsey Irving, Licensed Clinical Therapist Kelsey Irving is a licensed therapist specializing in the treatment of adults with OCD and anxiety disorders. Inspired by a close family member’s diagnosis and the widespread misunderstanding of OCD, she became deeply committed to providing informed, compassionate, and effective care. Kelsey serves individuals through her private practice, Steadfast Psychology Group, and extends her impact through her children’s book, Jacob and the Cloud.