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Why Your Pursuit Of Purpose Could Be Leading You The Wrong Way

Victoria May is a certified Rapid Transformational Therapist®, Empowerment Coach, and Energy Worker dedicated to helping women awaken to their true essence and create heart-centred lives filled with freedom, fulfillment, and purpose.

Executive Contributor Victoria May

It is inevitable on this path of life that eventually, we reach a point where we begin to ask the question, "What is my purpose? But could your endeavours to find purpose and meaning be leading you the wrong way? In this article, I break down signs to look out for and strategies to ensure you’re heading on the path of purpose.


Woman scratching her head feeling lost in the city

Why your pursuit of purpose could be leading you the wrong way

It is inevitable on this path of life that eventually, we reach a point where we begin to ask the question, "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" These profound questions are crucial to our journey, as we are genetically wired to seek purpose and meaning, and ultimately self-actualization. Yet, very few people end up finding it.


Discovering your purpose

Discovering your purpose is the ultimate journey of inner self-discovery. It requires diving into the depths of our shadows to break free from the conditioning and constraints we've been living in, often without even realizing it. This is not an easy journey, hence why very few people end up taking it. It is through this awakening journey that we uncover who we truly are at the soul level. And it is only from this space of awareness that the true answers to "What is my life’s purpose?" will appear.


The hero's journey and purpose

If you are familiar with the Hero’s Journey, a concept popularized by Joseph Campbell, this framework beautifully illustrates this process.


The Hero's Journey is an ancient rite of passage, evident in myths and stories from cultures around the world, involving several key stages. It begins with a King/Queen being born. By the nature of our experience, as a child, we are seeking to be validated for who we are. When parts of us are not, then we become a child in hiding. This is where we learn to adapt our behaviour to fit our environment and ensure our survival. We grow up into adulthood carrying these shields, never really aware of our true potential or essence. Until we begin to feel the pull towards something greater, often prompted by a life change or crisis. Along this journey, we meet the Wisemen who offer guidance and support to awaken us to who we truly are, and our quest begins. This begins with learning how to pacify the dragon, which is all of our deepest fears and shadows that have kept us in hiding. Finally, we come to understand our true essence as a King or Queen. We become aware of our unique gifts and purpose, and we bring this back to be of service to others.


Pacifying our dragon

The most important aspect of the Hero’s Journey to pay attention to is pacifying the dragon, which symbolizes our egoic mind structure. Our egoic mind structure houses all our fear-based programming. It is this very programming that clouds us from seeing our true path. Without the ability to acknowledge and pacify the egoic mind, any endeavours you pursue will be led by this part of you.


When we are operating from this perspective, what might be disguised as purpose could end up being a pursuit for acknowledgment, acceptance, legacy, and meaning given to you by others. While these things may feel great, they are not purpose. They will not give you what you are seeking, which for most of us is true fulfillment; they will give you more of what you already experience.


Some things to pay attention to

These are common signs your egoic mind structure is leading you the wrong way in your search for purpose.


Skipping the self-discovery journey

You’ve got to do the shadow work first! This doesn’t mean you need to be completely healed before you find purpose and meaning; that is unrealistic. You simply need to do enough self-discovery work to reach a point of self-awareness. This means identifying your conditioning and dysfunctional patterns and how and when they show up to create resistance toward what you want in life. This awareness allows you to decipher your path in terms of what is coming from your true essence and what is coming from your conditioning. If you skip over the self-discovery then you will wind up creating a path that will fail to deliver you the fulfilment, happiness, freedom, joy etc.


Following someone else’s path

There is a lot of noise out there about all the different ways to find purpose and meaning, such as becoming a coach or a healer. While these are great paths, they may not be your path. A natural tendency of our egoic mind is to look for evidence that something is possible, so naturally, we will look towards others and what they are doing for evidence that a path is doable for us. Whilst seeking inspiration is a great thing, we must be careful not to get carried away with this to the point that we follow a path that isn’t our own. When we restrict our search for purpose to what has already been done by someone else, we cut ourselves off from the creativity that is within our hearts.


Forcing the journey

We tend to want to rush and find a fixed mark or north star for where we are going, but rushing doesn’t work when it comes to finding purpose. You will eventually reach a point where your north star becomes clear to you; it will land in a moment of clarity. When that occurs is not something that can be controlled; we simply need to commit to and follow the journey and know that it will come.


The reality is that you are already living your purpose right now in this very moment. Every moment and every part of your journey is laddering into the next. Whilst we may not always accept this, there are lessons and growth in everything we encounter, and this growth is what propels us forward. We need to be present with our journey exactly where it is and notice whenever we want to rush forward, this is your egoic mind seeking to know the future, which it never can. This journey requires a surrender to the unknown and a whole lot of trust in the process. It won’t always be comfortable for this very reason. However, trying to force the journey will only lead to frustration and a sense of failure.


Defining purpose too narrowly

Many immediately jump to a career when they think of purpose, focusing on doing something meaningful and serving others. While this is a big part of it, purpose is found in everything. It’s not limited to one aspect of life. Instead of limiting purpose to a career, consider that it can be found in your relationships, hobbies, and daily actions. In essence, our purpose is to create what is within our hearts, and there will be many things in your heart that want to be created, and this will also change throughout your lifetime.


The other thing to pay attention to here is the egoic mind creeping in to build conditions and limitations around your purpose based on what feels possible. It does this to create a sense of safety and control. Your true purpose might feel very impossible for you based on where you are right now, it might also be something unique and different with no evidence or proof. Conditions will only be set to limit what you truly want to create and keep you confined to what you already know.


Some strategies to get you back on track

These are powerful strategies to align you with your truth and get you connected to your inner guidance so you can find your purpose in life.


Get to know your true essence

Neale Donald Walsh summarizes it perfectly: "The purpose of life is to know yourself, create yourself, and experience yourself as who you truly are. There is no other reason to do anything." Focus on exploring yourself and getting intimately aware of your egoic mind structure and your true essence. The question should change from ‘What is my purpose?’ to ‘Who am I?’ instead. This is a more fruitful endeavour that naturally answers both questions anyway.


Commit to the personal development and self-discovery journey. Allow your energy to take you into exploring the wisdom and teachings that align with you. There isn’t one way to do this journey; it is simply following what feels right for you, and being able to spot the right mentors and modalities for you.


Exploring what brings you joy

Permit yourself to prioritize being rather than doing. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, as these are often aligned with your true purpose in surprising ways. When we engage in the things that bring us joy, we naturally shift our vibration into higher states. These higher states are actually what support us not only to attract more of this into our lives, but they are also the states where we are most connected to our intuition, creativity, and inner guidance. In essence, we will be more able to receive guidance on what our true purpose and desires are.


Connect with your heart and follow its guidance

Your heart holds the truth about your essence and purpose, so connection to our hearts is essential. We do this through strengthening our intuition, which is the language of the heart. It speaks in many different ways and is unique to each of us. For example, some of us receive guidance more visually through dreams and visions, while others will receive guidance through emotions and feelings. We do this through practices such as meditation, breathwork, hypnotherapy, or other brain wave-altering tools. These are the tools that help to quiet the mind so you can access the wisdom from within.


For a free copy of my Visioning Your Hearts Desires journey, click here. This is a guided journey using hypnotherapy techniques to drop you deep, connect into your heart, and discover what is there. 


Explore tools like Ikigai and gene keys

Ikigai is always a good place to start. Ikigai is an ancient Japanese concept that describes having a sense of purpose in life. It is a very helpful framework to start asking the right questions on what you love to do, what you loved as a child etc. There are a variety of resources on Ikigai available online, but this article is a good place to start.

And for those who truly want to dive into the depths of their purpose, then I would invite you to explore Gene Keys. Gene Keys is a system of personal and spiritual development created by Richard Rudd. It combines elements of astrology, the I Ching (Ancient Chinese divination on the 64 strands of DNA), and the Human Design System to provide a framework for understanding and exploring our highest purpose. You can find out more and download your free profile here.

To explore your Gene Keys further and get deep insights into your purpose, I offer 90-minute Soul Purpose readings where I read your chart combined with intuitive guidance. For more details click here.


So, if you are a woman who is ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and create a life of purpose, freedom, and fulfilment, schedule your free strategy session to see how I can support you.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!

Read more from Victoria May


Victoria May, Empowerment Coach for Women

Victoria is a certified Rapid Transformational Therapist®, Empowerment Coach, and Energy Worker who helps women reconnect with their true essence and create heart-centred lives of freedom, fulfillment, and purpose. After leaving a successful but unfulfilling corporate career, Victoria embarked on a journey of personal and spiritual discovery. She now uses her expertise and own experience to support women in overcoming burnout, self-doubt, and societal pressures so they can create a life they love. Through her unique approach, Victoria empowers her clients to fully embrace their true selves and live heart-centred lives.



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