Why We Forget To Enjoy The Journey To Our Goals
Written by: Kate Bixler, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
From the time we are little, we set goals for ourselves. We look up at mentors, who are all around us: on television, in magazines, now on social media. My fourth-grade autobiography proudly announced my goals. In my dream life, I would be a ballet dancer, a country singer, and a farmer’s wife: not a farmer, but a wife. I pictured living in a big house in the country, enjoying my life as a mom and cooking all of the meals. I pictured doing my daily chores and enjoying every minute of it.
As we grow up, our objectives change. We become interested in new things and look for the roles that seem available to us. We assess which desires would be harder or easier to access and rate the worthiness of beginning the journey to each goal.
One belief that seems consistent with the way most of us view the targets that we choose to pursue: “It will be better there, than here.”. We view the work that is required as the toll that we must pay. We sacrifice our time and money and effort to ‘make it’ to the desired result. Once we have arrived at our destination, we will make sure that we enjoy it. Savor it. Appreciate it. That will make all of the years of effort worth the journey.
But there is a truth to this, that many of us learn only when the result, that we worked so hard for, feels a bit ‘empty’. Not as satisfying as we had imagined. The truth is, somewhere along the journey, we lost our ability to appreciate. To savor. To be mindful and to enjoy our life. We were so SURE that we would enjoy it when we got there. But the truth is, we were practicing the art of NOT enjoying our life. So, when we arrived, we continued to live in the way that we had practiced for so long.
Enjoying our life starts with enjoying the journey. It isn’t better ‘there’ than here. The idea of ‘there’ is a trick. When we reach our goal, our big prize in the sky, we are still ‘here’. We are always here. We will enjoy the destination if we learn to enjoy ‘here’ on the journey. We will learn what we practice every day. So, if we practice kicking the can down the street, always waiting until ‘later’ to enjoy our life, then when we arrive at a goal that we have chosen, we will most likely keep kicking that can, thinking that we might enjoy ourselves more at the next goal.
Instead, find the ‘how’ to enjoy: Our life. This day. This moment in time will never come to us again. When we learn how we will enjoy it there. Because there is here, in the future. Practice enjoyment, the same way that you practice the belief that you will reach your destination. Appreciate yourself on the journey and you will appreciate yourself that arrives. Think of your ability to enjoy it as a direct result of how hard you practice enjoying the moments that you are in right now.
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Kate Bixler, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kate Bixler is the certified weight-loss and life coach that women turn to when they are tired of struggling to lose weight on their own. She has a Master's Degree in Educational Leadership and has 30+ years of experience teaching, presenting at conferences, and training teachers to be the best version of themselves. She combines her personal experience of losing 40+ lbs. and coaching expertise to help women transform their current identity into the future self that they dream of, leaving their struggle with weight loss behind.
