Why Trusting Is So Hard
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 3, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 4, 2023
Written by: Maxime Bonnasserre, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When we face uncertainty or fears we often try to control the outcome. Hence we get in the way of a process that’s trying to take place. What if we trusted more? What would happen in faith?
Doing and more doing
I’ve caught myself lately in this process of doing a lot and it was exhausting. I might have to go back to work to provide for the family changing needs. I have put lots of effort into researching jobs, applying, and writing up letters, introductions, and follow-ups and it has left me depleted. Not only not much was happening in this process but when presented with an opportunity something was off. All those efforts and doing brought me away from coaching, writing and teaching, which are all stuff that brings me to life! That’s where the magic happens for me.
In the end, looking at it with clarity it is evident that I was getting in the way. In the way of what? My own way! And don’t we all do that! Why?
Because we are afraid!
We are afraid of what is in front of us. We feel an urgent need to take care of the situation by doing everything in our power to get it in a certain way. All this commotion about doing more to get our way is creating more disturbance inside of ourselves and outside.
Does this mean that there is nothing to do? Sometimes yes, sometimes no! But I’ve come to realize that the “doing”, most of the time, has to do primarily with the state of our mind and consciousness.
The state dictates
When we start to understand the effects that a disturbed mind and heart have on any outcome, we can withdraw our attention from what is not working, and what we should be doing and instead focus it on clarity and trust.
Attention follows the intention my coach repeated to me many times. If my intention is to control a certain set of actions so that I get a desired outcome, my attention goes there. Our consciousness will be drawn into being of service to our mind without any problem. But, the opposite is also true. You can put your mind to the service of your consciousness.
When we start by observing what’s happening, and we are not busy doing something about it; our perspective is completely different. From this stance, we’ll notice the fears that are coming up, our tendencies to try to do something about it, and our lack of faith and trust.
There is a better stance to take action from, we can certainly agree on that! Hence, the alternative is to be in another state, one where clarity and trust can whisper what should happen next or even just continue to observe what’s happening without interfering.
This requires a great deal of security in a way. Safety, from the ego perspective, is present when we obey its commands. As soon as we step outside of the parameters that keep it safe, we expose ourselves to many thoughts and feelings that will be uncomfortable.
There is, on the other hand, a higher voice that we can listen to and be guided by! It’s the voice of love, trust, and confidence. This voice can always guide us impeccably in action or inaction.
Ask yourself, once calm and centred, perhaps after a meditation or a few breaths, or a walk: What would the voice of love do here?
Listen to its guidance. It is in you!
Practice faith at every turn
The process of life and the events that will be going on for you will challenge you at times, as it did for me! It’s natural and you are not alone!
Remind yourself that it is happening for a reason! Allow it to happen, even though this might be hard to do at times.
In such moments, do what brings you joy and clarity. Perhaps it’s a walk, a bike ride, some time with the family, a coffee solo, time in nature, or reading a book! Your renewed soul will assess the events from a new perspective.
It’s interesting to me to notice that in practically all conversations, faith and trust are never too far! Life is happening and we get in the way because of our fears. We resist, try to control, we forgive to trust and perpetuate the difficulties by staying in such states!
It is all an opportunity to practice faith & trust! A Course in Miracles says: “If you knew who walks beside you, you would never fear again!”
I encourage you to step back and reassess situations that you are confronted by with a new sense of vision! A higher perspective that is not clouded by your own fears and conditions.
Asking yourself: What if I saw this from a higher perspective? What would that look like?
And most importantly, practice faith at every turn. Let go of you, the small version of you who's afraid, and welcome to the party your highest self!
Trust that everything is being done for you … if you only allow it to be! You are being done as the Tao Te Ching reminds us!
Maxime Bonnasserre, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Maxime (Max) Bonnasserre is a life coach, spiritual teacher, speaker and writer. Not a guru, nor a master, he’s a simple loving man that got to free himself from his own worst enemy … himself!
His soul journey had him go through common themes: unworthiness, difficulties in relationships, financial struggles, pursuit of titles, money, possessions, a lack of meaning and faith.
It is the hero's journey through healing, growing and trust that saved him and that can help you! Inspired by ancient wisdom and spirituality, his teaching and coaching are simple but transformative. Meant to inspire and guide you towards more inner peace, freedom and love. Find him here!
