Why Are Couples Retreats So Powerful? ‒ Interview With Dr David Helfand, PsyD
Dr. Helfand is a licensed psychologist specializing in marriage counseling and intensive couples therapy retreats. He uses his training in clinical psychology, neuroscience, and mindfulness to help couples achieve a happy and fulfilling marriage or to help them assess compatibility.
David Helfand, Licensed Psychologist
What is your business name and how do you help your clients?
My wife and I are the co-owners of LifeWise in Saint Johnsbury, Vermont. My particular specialty is helping couples repair and strengthen their marriage so they can be happy and have fun together. So many marriages are filled with stress, and it’s amazing how couples forget to come back to the activities that brought them together in the first place. At this time, I am mostly offering couples therapy retreats. The goal of a retreat is to teach the couple a process that allows them to reconnect with each other, but that they can also replicate on their own after they have left my office.
What kind of audience do you target your business towards?
As I mentioned, I work mostly with couples right now. My wife provides parent coaching and child therapy. Our general goal is to help the entire family so that everyone has a chance to thrive. Because of the intensity of a marriage retreat, most couples I work with are on the edge of divorce and need help making a decision about their future.
What are your current goals for your business?
I have seen so many amazing changes during a retreat, and I want anyone in need to be able to experience that same benefit. My hope is to work with about 50 couples per year and eventually train other therapists to do the same so we can spread the word on how to have a happy and fulfilling marriage. No one is ever taught those skills, which in my opinion is why the divorce rate is so high.
What is your work inspired by?
I’m inspired by the couples that come to see me. That moment where I realize they are starting to feel hopeful and there is a chance that I just saved their marriage is profound. It is so moving to feel like a force for good and to recognize that their children will also get to keep their family unit because of it. Even couples without children express profound gratitude after the retreat, and I’m so honored to help them reconnect with someone they are deeply in love with but just haven’t liked for years. That is what drives me to keep supporting these families.
Tell us about your greatest career achievement so far.
I have had to rebuild my business 5 times now. I started in the neuroscience field and had a very successful neurofeedback practice. I was offering some couples retreats at that time, but my primary focus was on individual brain training. I started to make a shift in 2019 to work more with couples, when I hired a coaching company to help me. That was a total disaster, and it ruined the business. I rebuilt it again focusing more on couples alongside offering neurofeedback. Then the pandemic hit. I had to completely shut down the neurofeedback business and move solely to psychotherapy. That was quite a stressful time. Just as I was finding my feet again, we decided to move our family to the country and get out of the city. Once again, I had to restart the business. I’m successful again, but I wish it had been a smoother ride getting here.
If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why?
I hear so many stories from couples that I work with about how past therapy harmed their marriage. My belief is that those therapists intended to help, but they were probably burnt out from a system that doesn’t appreciate them. Insurance reimbursements drop almost every year, so more and more of my colleagues are only taking cash paying clients. This unfortunately means that there is a large gap in the quality of services that are available to those with financial means and those without. I wish we could overhaul the insurance side of mental health so that it was a more level playing field. Everyone deserves the best treatment possible, but as long as healthcare is privatized people at the top will attempt to maximize profits and minimize care.
