Who Holds the Coach
Written by Rita Baki, Human Performance & EQ Consultant
Rita Baki is a certified coach and emotional intelligence specialist who works at the intersection of neuroscience, somatic psychology and emotional resilience.
As practitioners and coaches, our one-hour support sessions carry with them unseen labor, from years of continuous training to processing emotional conflict and clinical judgements. This article is dedicated to everyone who held onto the integrity of their practice without losing their humanity within. Let’s take a moment to think about you.
Challenges we face as practitioners
For having a profession that is so beautifully graceful, we are often shadowed by the painful challenges of isolation, compassion fatigue and burnout. We sit with grief, trauma and uncertainty day after day, holding space for others while quietly wondering who holds space for us.
The emotional labor is invisible to most, yet relentless in its weight. Because we chose this work out of deep care, asking for help can feel like a contradiction. But it is not. Acknowledging these challenges is perhaps the most honest thing a practitioner can do.
Five lessons that no certification will ever teach you
Thankfully, throughout turbulent times, I was not on my own. By my side, I had compassionate mentors, colleagues, trainers and seniors. Inevitably, heaviness will show itself in your work. I hope that this article gives you some guidance against the discomfort.
Looking back on my career, these five lessons are what helped me fight burnout and changed the way I coach entirely.
1. I don’t need to have the answer
The quickest way to burnout is to internalize the responsibility for our clients’ progress. What we fail to admit is that we do not always need to know the answer. After years of struggling, clients will surely have an urge for certainty. At the same time, it is our job to empower them against this fear of ambiguity. So, before you jump to self-doubt, take a moment to remember. Sometimes, our “I don’t know” is simply a reflection of life’s truth.
2. My body will tell me what I need, I just have to listen
A tightened chest before a session, heaviness in your shoulders mid-conversation or a subtle restlessness you can not quite name. These are signs of body-centered countertransference, your body is reacting before your mind is. Learning to pause and check in with yourself can be one of the most transformative shifts in your practice. Personally, it made me a more congruent coach. After all, how can we invite clients to trust and inhabit their own bodies if we remain strangers to ours?
3. Coaches need coaches
In working with clients, it is inevitable that unconscious patterns trigger feelings and reactions that are difficult to understand. Therefore, self-awareness for coaches and mental health practitioners becomes an indefinite ethical practice. Additionally, these sessions help you balance between your personal and professional life in a way that invites acceptance and self-reflection.
4. Training programs should emphasize self-care for practitioners
Unfortunately, compassion fatigue in the mental health field is a systemic, rather than individual, problem. Building on that, it only seems logical and practical that we approach self-care from a core, educational perspective, making it a priority for sustainable high-quality care.
5. My presence matters
Finally, this is the most important thing I learned after years of coaching: my presence matters. Even when I show up tired, sad, frustrated or worried, consistent presence provides a relational stability that honors the vulnerability that my clients so courageously show up with.
Practice what you preach
Take that vacation. Draw those boundaries. The advice we give most freely is often the advice we need most. Give yourself permission to receive what you so generously extend to others.
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." – Buddha
Read more from Rita Baki
Rita Baki, Human Performance & EQ Consultant
Rita Baki is a certified coach and emotional intelligence specialist who works at the intersection of neuroscience, somatic psychology and emotional resilience. She collaborates with individuals, couples and medical professionals to address the psychological dimensions that influence recovery and quality of life. Rita recognizes that every path to healing is unique, and it was her own inner journey that ignited a passion to help others discover the same path. Her work is anchored in a simple yet powerful philosophy: Meaningful, sustainable change begins with inner alignment.
References:
