Where Is The Meaning In Your Life? And Where To Find It
Written by: Juanita Viale, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you know the meaning of life?
This proverbial existential question has been baffling philosophers, scientists, psychologists, gurus, and everyone in between throughout history continues to remain unanswered.
We simply just don't know.
When we think of the meaning of life we think of people like Viktor Frankl or Nelson Mandela who were able to survive the darkest and most inhumane cruelties because of their unwavering belief in the purpose and desire of finding one’s meaning in life, or as Frankl’s “will to meaning”.
“Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.”
― Viktor Emil Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Yet we are curious, we want to know and we seek, and with a veil of uncertainty, we gather our own suppositions and explanations, in order to satisfy our salient need for the truth.
But perhaps this universal existential question is better serving us when we ask What is the meaning of my life?
Now that is a question that only an individual can answer because we are all unique beings each with a unique footprint in the experience we call life.
What is the meaning of my life? I had asked myself this question repeatedly after the birth of my second daughter who suffered a massive brain hemorrhage during birth rendering her completely disabled with cerebral palsy.
As I spent those 5 ½ months in the hospital with her in a traumatic postpartum fog of grief, sadness, and despair praying that she would survive and asking myself daily Why me? Why her? What is the meaning of all this?
Then my question was answered.
The week before we left the hospital they had put a 4-year-old girl who had been brutally sexually abused just next to my daughter's crib. In the midst of the excruciating shock of seeing this little girl’s eyes, swollen from the unthinkable pain and horror that she had endured (and something I had never seen before), I had an intuitive moment of clarity unlike any other, a knowingness that I was given a mission.
I was there because at that moment no one else was. And that little girl stopped her crying when she saw my realization. Since then I have never questioned if my life had meaning, even if I don’t totally understand what is the exact meaning of my life.
The meaning of your life is specific to you and only you. We each have our own values, purpose, motivations, and stories of our human experience called Life. An endless journey of experiences and inquiry to them, cause and effect.
However, when we look to define what meaning in life really means, research has shown that meaning holds 3 dimensions, coherence, purpose, and significance. (Martela, Steger 2015)
How I understand myself and the world I live in, the mission of my life, and why my life is of value and worth living are the three cornerstones to understanding meaning.
Considering the state of affairs in our world today with the pandemic, war, the threat of nuclear weapons, and doubts about the powers that govern our countries and economies, people are questioning the meaning of their lives in order to cope with existential threats that are challenging their status quo. (Vos, 2014)
So it comes as no surprise to see paradigm shifts like the Big Resignation where masses of people are leaving their safe corporate jobs in search of more meaningful ways of making a living even if it means making less money in exchange for a greater feeling of life satisfaction and meaning.
But where can you find meaning in your life?
It can feel like the quest of finding the missing sock in a big pile of laundry that always seems to disappear.
Perhaps it is more succinct to say that we can choose to live a meaningful life rather than a quest of finding meaning in our life as if it was an object or concept like the missing sock.
Living a meaningful life means focusing on the activities and people that we find meaningful and of significant value. The elusive nature of meaning offers 5 types of meaning called the meaning quintet and is considered the most comprehensive and validated list of meanings. (Vos, 2018)
Materialistic-hedonistic meaning: We find meaning in the material world such as our homes, professional success, and physical experiences such as nature, sex, healthy lifestyle, and sports.
Self-oriented meaning: We find meaning in self-efficacy, autonomy, and self-acceptance. Being ‘authentic’ and having creative self-expression.
Social types of meaning: Our connection to others such as our families, friends, romantic relationships, and communities, where we get a sense of belonging.
Larger types of meaning: Our purpose and dreams in life, our values of something bigger than ourselves such as self-transcendence, self-development, higher spiritual ideals, and religious beliefs.
Existential-Philosophical: The abstract meaning of life as it is, our existence and being alive, our individual freedom and our connection with the world, gratitude for life.
It is very easy in a busy world to get caught up in the whirlwind of our daily routines, going through our days disconnected to ourselves as we are absorbed with obligations and lengthy to-do lists. If you have been feeling lost, anxious, unmotivated or even fearful of your life, let this be a sign to take an honest look at your life from the perspective of meaning.
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Here is a simple mindful exercise to help you identify what is meaningful to you.
You will need a piece of paper or your journal.
Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths, keep your awareness on your breath as you inhale and exhale.
In your mind’s eye, visualize the moments in your life that have been meaningful. Visualize it with as much detail as you can, how were you feeling, where were you, and who you were with. Hold those thoughts for a couple of minutes and feel the energy in your body.
Gradually bring your awareness back to the room and your breath and slowly open your eyes.
Write a list of those moments in your life that have been meaningful to you and why. Rank them in order of importance.
Try to identify them with the categories of meaning (the meaning quintet).
Ask yourself in what ways you can incorporate more meaningful moments and experiences in your life in those categories so you have a list of meaningful reminders.
Living a life with meaning means actively and intentionally finding ways of incorporating meaningful activities to better our understanding of ourselves and our world, cultivating meaningful actions that propel us forward, and connecting with people so you can give meaningful value and impact to their lives.
By owning the responsibilities of ourselves of being meaningful, we embrace our authenticity and the uniqueness of our legacy. A personal craft that lasts a lifetime.
Juanita Viale, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Juanita Viale guides and coaches motivated entrepreneurs and companies to Consciously boost their brand and effectively share their unique stories.
Based on the French Riviera, she provides personal Conscious marketing, positive leadership, and mindfulness coaching services.
Juanita's "Conscious Boosting" approach is based on a mindful framework of intention, connection, and authenticity. These elements serve as the foundations for delivering messages that resonate and inspire people to identify and engage with You and your Brand.
As a certified Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher, she gently guides You to reconnect with your truest authentic self and help you get aligned with your intentions.
