When You Need To “Disagree”?
- Brainz Magazine
- May 25, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Mona AlHebsi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of my favorite quotes of all times is the one by Martin Luther King, Jr. that goes: “The hottest place in hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.”
If you would like to become a person of influence in your life and career, then you need to speak up and have your say in important matters. You won’t go very far in your life if your goal is to do just enough to get by and agree to everything being said to you to avoid conflict. This is not to say; go and argue with every other person you are talking to. In fact, the real wisdom is in bypassing the small stuff and staying focused on your main goals. However, there are occasions in life when saying “yes” or remaining quiet is not an option.
Everyone among us will get tested at some point during our life by coming across some critical ethical scenarios that will reveal us to ourselves before others. The intent is not to prove anything to anyone; it’s more to act on what we have always been chanting about courage, integrity, and being truthful. These scenarios will confirm what we stand for and expose our core values in action. Because whether you have decided to be neutral or take a stand, they both reveal a set of different values in you.
Again, taking a stand doesn’t always have to be noisy; on occasions, not feeding a negative scenario or news with unnecessary words or actions can be the bravest thing you do and exactly what is needed to initiate positive change or at least save your energy from being sucked. However, I believe everyone of us can have an impact, especially if you are in a position of power or can improve the quality of someone’s life, i.e., a loved one, a friend, a colleague, or a customer, etc.
You will ask now, so what am I supposed to do? The answer is simple when you encounter a situation in where you feel the need to speak up or take a certain stand, first listen to your inner guide or what we call “Intuition”; and do as it tells you. If you are not sure whether this pressing sound is intuition or your nagging fears are surfacing, then I will give you another compass that I’ve gathered from my life experiences, and it almost always worked. This compass is called “The Majority VS The Minority” rule. This simply means that you will notice first what view the majority in the room are adopting, and you will defend the opposing view!
Well, perhaps you understood where I’m going with this, as almost all of us have been part of meetings or work-related scenarios where everyone is sick and tired and just wants to nod with the popular choice decision to be made. In most cases, if you dig deeper about the commonly voted view, it may not necessarily be the best decision for the company or its people. It can likely be the easiest one to implement or the way things have always been done in the organization i.e., the norm.
If you follow the mainstream, you will be the one out of many. However, if you know how to gracefully disagree and defend your unpopular view, you will stimulate other people’s thinking, help them to see things from a new perspective, and encourage meaningful conversations that will inspire innovative ways to do things in your organization. And so to say, there is more fun in being the one who always inspires people to think differently and try out creative solutions to enhance the performance of your organization in the sight of key stakeholders and the wider community you are operating in.
In fact, you really don’t want to be the one who says yes to everything because you will develop a reputation of being agreeable and thus easily dispensable after some time as you are not adding any real input or value to your company. You will see your colleagues (who generally are a handful in any organization) get more respect and included in key discussions because their contributions are priceless to your organization. Of course, one key element is to present your view with respect while having a holistic approach to the matter at hand and being assertive.
So, the essence of this concept is really to do what is right (by following your intuition) and then apply the second validation technique, which is to defend the unpopular view with a strong basis or argument. A word of caution, when you start walking down this track consistently, you will start becoming a person of influence. You will enjoy all the associated rewards, so be ready for that. On the other hand, you will start noticing some people who will try to criticize you or your efforts, belittle you or your achievements, just notice them and continue what you are doing, never bother; they will disappear with time.
In this regard, my last few words, learning the art of disagreeing in life and specifically at work, is very important because it distinguishes you from others and shows your individuality. You can’t agree with everyone all the time, and I like to believe that you would like to leave your unique footprint on every endeavor you engage within your life. For that, you need to constantly strive to be you and speak your mind to contribute to completing the jigsaw puzzle. You definitely won’t be able to do so if you have a duplicated piece like your other colleague!
If you find yourself struggling to overcome toxic work patterns and feel stuck in a mediocre job, know that you are not alone. Career & Success Coaches like myself can help you be aware of your blind spots while guiding you towards career options that will make you achieve personal effectiveness and fulfillment. You can email me at info@monaalhebsi.com.
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Mona AlHebsi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Mona AlHebsi, is an Award-Winning Hotelier, HR Practitioner, Success Coach, Renowned Author, and Speaker. She has recently been named “Most Influential Woman in Hospitality Human Capital” and "Inspirational Female Leader" due to her eminent contributions to the hospitality industry and Human Resources profession. Through her book “Beat The Odds,” Mona aims to provide a roadmap to all hoteliers and working professionals on making their work a vehicle to delivering excellence and achieving astounding success. She instinctively knows how to ignite the courage in others to stay true to their values and capitalize on their strengths, which will ultimately steer them towards success and fulfillment. Mona's life mantra is, "The more odds you beat, the greater will be your feat!"
