When Algorithms Meet Empathy – The Future of Relationships in Healthcare
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 10
- 6 min read
Dr. Florence Lewis is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of the Upside Health Research Network (UPHRN), where she helps healthcare providers integrate evidence-based tools to measure and support relational health outcomes.
Imagine this scenario, sitting with a frustrated physician. She'd just spent 20 minutes fighting with an AI diagnostic system while her patient, a frightened 72-year-old man, waited anxiously for answers about his chest pain. The doctor says, "I knew what he needed wasn't in that algorithm," she told me. "He needed me to hold his hand and tell him we'd figure this out together. But I was too busy fighting with a computer to be human."
This moment captures many of the things I've been grappling with since founding Upside Health Research Network, a U.S.-based nonprofit organization dedicated to research and training in relational health. As a relationship therapist and researcher who has spent over a decade studying how relationships heal, I'm watching our healthcare system transform in ways that both excite and worry me. We're gaining incredible technological power while sometimes forgetting the most basic truth. Healing happens between humans, not between humans and machines.
The digital space between us
In my psychotherapy practice, I used to hold actual tissues out to crying clients. Now, during telehealth sessions, I watch them reach for their own tissues while I sit behind a screen. It's a small thing, but it represents something bigger, how technology has become an integral part of the most intimate moments of care.
Every day, I see how algorithms shape the relationships between doctors and patients. AI predicts who's likely to miss appointments. It flags potential drug interactions. It even suggests treatment plans. These tools are remarkable, and they save lives. But something else is happening too.
Recently, I worked with a nurse who described feeling like a "data entry specialist who occasionally touches patients." She spends more time documenting than holding patients' hands.
This is the paradox we're living in. We have more data about our patients than ever before, yet many feel less seen, less heard, less human.
What empathy knows that algorithms don't
Here's what I've learned through many hours with patients and providers. Empathy reads between the lines in ways no algorithm can. It catches the slight tremor in a voice, the way someone's shoulders drop when they're defeated, the pause before answering "How are you?" that means everything is not okay.
Imagine another scenario, working with a young mother whose baby had been in the NICU for weeks. The AI system accurately tracks the infant's vitals, predicts potential complications, and optimizes treatment protocols. But it couldn't do what her nurse noticed that this mother hadn't eaten in two days because she was afraid to leave her baby's side, even for five minutes. That nurse didn't just notice, she brought the mother a sandwich and sat with her while she ate it.
No algorithm would have suggested that intervention. No quality metric captures it. Yet it might have been the most important medical intervention that the mother received.
This is what I mean when I talk about relational health, the idea that our connections with each other are as vital to healing as any medication or procedure. And this is what we risk losing when we let technology mediate all our interactions.
The hidden cost of losing our humanity
Research shows that a lack of trust in providers is associated with reductions in treatment adherence and care-seeking behaviors among patients, as well as reduced continuity of care.[1]
A comprehensive review in BMC Primary Care found that eHealth can have both positive and negative impacts on relationships and trust, influenced by factors such as patient sociodemographics, provider communication skills, technology design, and organizational factors.[1]
What the studies don't fully capture is the exhaustion that comes from treating humans like data points. I see it in the doctors who've forgotten why they went into medicine. I hear it in the nurses who say they feel like robots. I witness it in patients who describe feeling like they are being processed rather than cared for.
Studies have documented this shift quantitatively. Research comparing paper charts to electronic health records found that physicians spend significantly more time gazing at medical records during EHR visits compared to paper chart visits (35.2% vs 22.1%), while spending less time looking at patients.[2] For providers, they spend years learning to practice medicine. Now, they spend their days reading screens.
Building bridges between binary and being
This is why I started offering AI consulting through Upside Health Research Network, not to fight technology, but to help healthcare systems remember that algorithms should amplify our humanity, not replace it.
I work with organizations to create what I call "empathy checkpoints" in their digital workflows. These are moments where providers step back from screens and into presence. Simple things, such as making eye contact before opening the laptop or asking "What's really worrying you?" after the AI has provided its assessment.
One example is a hospital instituting "sacred seconds," a brief pause after entering a patient's room, where providers take a moment to breathe and connect before engaging with any technology. This can improve patient satisfaction scores, not because of better technology, but because of better humanity.
Clinics can also create "AI-free zones" in their examination room spaces where the focus returns entirely to human connection. Patients may feel more comfortable sharing crucial information in these moments that they'd never tell a computer or even mention when a screen was present.
The future we're building together
We're standing at a crossroads. We can create a healthcare system where algorithms and empathy work in beautiful partnership, or we can build one where efficiency crushes connection. The choice is ours, and we're making it right now, one patient interaction at a time.
Imagine an AI that not only predicts health outcomes but also reminds providers when a patient hasn't had a visitor in days. Picture algorithms that create more time for human connection by handling administrative burdens, rather than filling that freed time with more data entry. Envision technology that enhances our ability to see each other more clearly, not screens that block our view.
This isn't just wishful thinking. It's the future we're actively building at Upside Health Research Network. We're showing healthcare systems that relational intelligence, the ability to connect, understand, and respond to human needs, is not just compatible with AI. It is essential for AI in healthcare to function effectively.
A promise for tomorrow
Let's revisit the scenario with the physician who struggled with the diagnostic AI. Once the clinic implemented some relational protocols, she started each patient encounter with a simple question, "Before we look at any test results, how are you really doing?" The AI still runs its diagnostics, but it no longer runs the relationship.
That's the future I'm working toward, one where algorithms handle the data, so humans can focus on the hearts, where technology makes us more human, not less, where empathy and efficiency dance together instead of fighting for dominance.
Because at the end of the day, healthcare isn't about choosing between algorithms and empathy. It's about remembering that healing happens in the space between heartbeats, in the silence between words, in the connection between souls. No algorithm will ever be able to code for that. And that's precisely why we'll always need each other.
Ready to bring more humanity to your healthcare technology?
Connect with Upside Health Research Network to explore how your organization can integrate AI while strengthening human connection. Together, we can build a future where technology serves relationships, not the other way around. Learn more about our approach.
Read more from Dr. Florence Lewis, PhD, LMFT
Dr. Florence Lewis, PhD, LMFT, Relationships & Health Researcher, Therapist
Dr. Florence Lewis, PhD, LMFT, is a Medical Family Therapist and founder of the Upside Health Research Network (UPHRN), a nonprofit focused on measuring the impact of relationships on health outcomes. With clinical roots in integrated care, she has worked alongside medical teams to support patients' mental, social, and relational well-being. Dr. Lewis is a published author and dynamic speaker on diversity and holistic health. She hosts "The Relational Health Report" podcast. Her current work helps healthcare providers use evidence-based tools and AI to improve relational health metrics in practice. She also runs a private therapy practice supporting individuals and couples in navigating and building healthy relationships amid past emotional trauma.
References:
[1] BioMed Central
[2] NCBI
