What Twenty Seconds With the Dalai Lama Taught Me About Why So Many of Us Feel Lost
- 11 hours ago
- 6 min read
Daryl Henderson is a master coach, facilitator, and artist known for blending spiritual traditions, shadow work, and leadership training. He is the co-founder of Odyssey of Man, the creator of True North Coaching, and the founder of One11, a health & wellness brand.
It's hot, and the sun is blazing above. At this altitude, the midday July sun goes from warming and hot to scorching. It's 9 am, and Megan and I are sitting in a set of chairs with a group of 12 other pilgrims after being thoroughly searched and giving up our cell phones.
I'm reciting a mantra in my head and gathering myself for what feels like a poignant and pivotal moment in my life experience, even though I have no idea what to expect other than that it will go quickly.
"Prosperity, longevity, and lasting peace." I repeat this over and over in my mind, silently, as hundreds of people and security personnel move around me. There's a row of eight Tibetan monks, all in their maroon and gold robes, sitting quietly and contemplatively across from me. Each of them is holding a white scarf or lotus bead mala, a traditional offering. I can't help but think that they look a little nervous under their trained and calm exterior. There's a sense that they too feel the power and presence of His Holiness the Dalai Lama looming in front of them.
That's what we're all here for and what all the hubbub is about: the extraordinary privilege and opportunity to spend just a few moments in front of the 14th Dalai Lama and receive a blessing from one of the only truly enlightened beings I know of on this planet. I've run through a thousand scenarios in my mind, and yet, seeing the volumes of Indigenous Ladakhi people in their local garb amongst a host of faces from across the region and globe, I can't help but think just how small and insignificant the questions I've been contemplating really are. Each time I think of something, I feel as if His Holiness is already answering it through my consciousness with his simple yet profound truths.
The lengths our egos will go to just to feel better about themselves
My ego wants to come up with something profound. Something so profound that he stops, looks at me, and sees my depth and spiritual roots, so much so that he decides to talk with me. Even invite me into his home to bear witness and be a student of his teachings. I even went so far as to fantasize that maybe I, a middle-aged white man who's got no formal training in Tibetan Buddhism, could be dubbed the next Dalai Lama. It's amazing the lengths our egos will go to feel better about themselves.
Anywho, so here I am, now standing in the blessing line that is moving at a steady pace, and I'm looking around at all the other people, and I realize there's nothing I could say in such a short interaction and that I was better off just being. Being grateful and loving and sending blessings for his longevity and recovery after a recent knee surgery. As we approach and get closer, I feel something take over me.
"Prosperity, longevity, lasting peace. Prosperity, longevity, lasting peace." Over and over in my head, I keep reciting the mantra, and then I see him. It was like seeing a sunset for the first time. Awestruck doesn't quite cover it because you'd need to be present enough to be in awe. This was different. This was like being overtaken by a large wave you didn't see coming, except I was overtaken by presence. Nothing more, nothing less.
What lasted less than twenty seconds
As I approached His Holiness with my mala beads in my hand, as directed by one of the many kind and supportive staff and devotees, I felt as if my mind just went blank. Everything else faded away: the people, the sounds, the photographers, everything. All I could do was bow in reverence with my hands open and my mala presented for his blessing. He touched my hands so lightly that I'm not sure I even felt it. Then I looked up into his eyes, and I'm still trying to understand what happened.
It was like being in a vision. It was as if he was staring through me, into and past my soul, and into my lineage. His gaze wasn't fully of this world; it was something else. The only way I can describe it is that his eyes looked like the eyes of the Buddha on one of the statues we'd seen in a monastery. There was everything and nothing in his gaze; there was compassion and caring, as well as the true depth of a master. There was eternity in those eyes, lifetimes and hundreds of years carried in this human form over and over again, each time learning and growing ever more. It was a truly psychedelic experience because those few moments seemed, and still seem, to stretch out into eternity.
What lasted quite literally less than 20 seconds burned a memory so indelibly into my brain that I believe I will be processing this for years to come.
Why does any of this matter?
I'll tell you why. It's a reminder for us to be humble and to remember that no matter how far we've come, we're still human and therefore flawed, immensely so at times. That's where the practice of presence and compassion comes in.
We live in an accelerating world, one that seems hell-bent on breaking us down into something we're not by feeding us constant social media and television programming that says that we need to be more, better, taller, faster, stronger, and that our work is never over until we retire and get the tiny pittance we've accumulated to live our sunset years in happiness.
So, if we're just trying to get to happiness, we know that consistent habits can help support our wellbeing. Research has shown time and again that this is true. While you cannot simply snap your fingers and choose to feel happy, research suggests that you can choose habits that build resilience and support long-term wellbeing.
So what gives? Why are we at a pivotal point where so many people across the world are depressed and lonely?
I think it's because we've forgotten who we are, and that, in order to remember, we need to be shaken up a bit. We need to get stirred internally by something so powerful that it wakes us up to a new reality. That's what meeting the Dalai Lama did for me, and it's something I will be reflecting on for years to come. It shook me to my core in ways that I didn't expect. From the outside, it probably looked like just another blessing from His Holiness. But inside, it sent shockwaves through my soul.
Not everyone can get to India
Now, not everyone can get to India to meet the Dalai Lama, but you can choose to do something that you know will carry you deeper into yourself and awaken dormant parts that need your love and awareness.
This is what will save the world. Not some new invention that sequesters carbon or an AI that can run governments in an ethical and sustainable way. That would help, but the real answer is staring back at you from the mirror every morning as you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
So I ask you, do you want to arrive in a new world of harmony and understanding or keep hiding in the old familiar pain that will never go away unless you choose a new path? The choice is up to each of us, and I hope you choose harmony because it's going to take all of us to turn this ship around.
Whatever you've been through is worthy of your effort, and so are future generations. See you on the other side. Namaste.
Read more from Daryl Henderson
Daryl Henderson, Transformational Facilitator & Creative Visionary
Daryl Henderson is a master coach, facilitator, and artist with over two decades of experience blending creativity, men’s work, and spiritual practices. He has photographed top brands and artists worldwide, including Nike and Michael Kors, and documented indigenous and peace gatherings across the globe. Drawing on this experience, Daryl guides high performers, artists, and businesses to express their stories through soul-aligned photography, branding, and personal transformation. He is the co-founder of Odyssey of Man, the creator of True North Coaching, and the founder of One11, a health and wellness brand. His work is playful, transformative, and designed to unlock authentic expression.
