What Survivors Want and Listening Beyond the Silence
Written by Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a survivor of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and a life coach who has experience when it comes to the trauma that a survivor goes through and the journey it takes to heal. She helps women to reconnect and love themselves again. She is the founder of The Growth Hub Coaching and Women Empowerment edition: Impact for Change Podcast.
For many survivors of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), healing is not simply about what happened in the past. It is also about how they are treated in the present. Behind every statistic is a person, a woman with feelings, hopes, dreams, choices and a future.
So, what do survivors want?
We want to be heard
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer a survivor is the opportunity to speak without judgement.
Not every survivor is ready to talk. Some may struggle to find the words. Others may have carried their experience silently for years.
Listening means allowing survivors to tell their stories in their own time and in their own way. Sometimes, simply saying, “I am here. I am listening,” can make a difference.
We want to be believed
When a survivor finds the courage to speak, they deserve to have their experience taken seriously.
They should not have to prove that their pain matters.
Believing someone does not mean having all the answers. It means listening with compassion and responding with care.
We want choice
FGM can involve a profound loss of bodily autonomy. For many survivors, reclaiming choice becomes an important part of healing.
Survivors should be able to make informed decisions about their healthcare, relationships, boundaries and support.
Healing is personal. There is no single path and no fixed timeline.
We want compassionate healthcare
Survivors need healthcare professionals who understand FGM and trauma and who can create safe spaces for honest conversations.
A simple question such as “How are you really feeling?” can open a door, but it needs to be asked sensitively, without pressure or judgement.
Survivors deserve to be seen as whole people, not simply through the lens of what happened to them.
We want support without shame
Shame can keep survivors silent and prevent them from seeking help. But survivors should never have to carry shame for something that was done to them.
They deserve to hear: What happened to you is not your identity. Your body is not something to be ashamed of. Your voice matters.
We want our voices to matter
Survivors should not only be spoken about, they should have opportunities to speak for themselves.
Their experiences can help shape healthcare, education, safeguarding, community support and prevention.
Listening to survivors helps us understand what support really feels like.
We want a future beyond survival
Survivors are more than their experiences. They have careers, families, friendships, ambitions, creativity and dreams. They deserve the freedom to build a future that is not defined by their past.
Healing does not mean forgetting what happened. It can mean reclaiming choice, rebuilding trust and learning to live with greater freedom and self-compassion.
So, what do survivors want?
To be heard. To be believed. To be respected. To have choice. To feel safe. To be supported without judgement. To have the freedom to heal in their own way.
Sometimes change begins with something simple, "We stop speaking over survivors and start listening to them."
Because when survivors are given space to speak, their voices can become part of the change that future generations need.
Read more from Howaida Abdalla
Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a life coach who helps women (survivors) of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) to reconnect & love themselves again. She was seven years old when the FGM procedure was done on her, which left her lost and disconnected not only from people, but also from herself. She has since dedicated her life to helping other survivors reconnect and love themselves. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching," where she helps & coaches survivors. Her mission is to help, inspire, and empower.
