What Reveals Conflict Before It Even Starts
- Brainz Magazine
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 11 hours ago
Tetyana Didenko is a recognized expert in body language and nonverbal communication. As a body language analyst, executive coach, keynote speaker, and author of a book on nonverbal communication in business, she has spent the past decade helping professionals harness body language to excel in negotiations, sales, presentations, and leadership.
Imagine having a kind of superpower in your everyday conversations, the ability to sense friction or disagreement before anyone says a single negative word. Think about how many misunderstandings you could head off, how many conflicts you could avoid, just by reading the room’s body language. Let me share a quick story, I once worked with a manager who learned to do exactly that. She could tell the moment a team member started feeling uneasy, not because they spoke up, but because of subtle shifts in their posture. Thanks to this awareness, she steered conversations away from conflict and kept everyone on track.
Five body language patterns that signal disagreement and conflict
Our bodies send the signals before speech catches up. Still, it’s essential to keep three things in mind when reading them, clusters, change, and context. You can’t judge disagreement from a single gesture or without considering the situation. We’ll look at the clusters first, and then I’ll share a practical exercise on how to apply them.
Here are the telltale clusters that reveal disagreement before it hits the air
1. The shield: Arms crossed, lips tight, feet pointed away
What it means: "I'm not buying what you're selling." Their body is literally creating a barrier between you and them.
What to do: Gently ask, "I'd love to hear your thoughts on this", to open the door to honest dialogue.
2. The escape plan: Glancing at the door, shifting feet toward an exit, fidgeting
What it means: "I want out of this conversation." They're mentally planning their escape route.
What to do: Take a breath and ask, "Before we continue, does anyone have concerns we should address?"
3. The freeze frame: Relaxed to rigid posture, changed eye contact, tense shoulders
What it means: Something just hit a nerve.
What to do: Acknowledge it directly, "I noticed a change did something I said not sit right?"
4. The territory claim: Leaning back, spreading out, taking up more space
What it means: They're feeling challenged and trying to regain control.
What to do: Make sure everyone gets equal airtime by asking, "What do others think about this approach?"
5. The physical retreat: Leaning away, head pulling back, creating distance
What it means: They're literally trying to get away from your ideas or conversation.
What to do: Ask open questions like, "Which parts of this are you most comfortable with?" to rebuild the connection.
This isn't some magical talent. It's just paying closer attention to what people naturally show. With practice, spotting these signals becomes second nature.
A simple way to practice – Train your observation skill
Next time you're in a conversation that matters, take a quick mental picture of how people look when they're relaxed and comfortable. Are their hands loosely resting on the table? Are they sitting with slouched shoulders? This is their "baseline" state.
Then watch for changes during your discussion. When someone shifts from their baseline, maybe they suddenly sit up straight or their smile looks forced, that's your clue that something has changed internally. These moments are your opportunity to address unspoken concerns.
This is exactly why I emphasize the three Cs, clusters, change, and context. You can’t draw conclusions from a single gesture. But when you see a cluster of signals, notice a shift from baseline, and interpret it within context, you get a reliable picture of what’s really going on.
Why this skill changes everything
Being able to spot disagreement before it's spoken is not a talent reserved for a few, it’s a skill anyone can develop. With practice, you’ll start noticing the shifts in posture, gestures, and expressions that quietly reveal what words are hiding.
The benefits are huge, you’ll catch tension early, prevent unnecessary conflict, and guide conversations toward understanding instead of misunderstanding. It’s not just about resolving issues, it’s about creating trust, building stronger relationships, and leading with confidence.
While you can absolutely teach yourself these techniques through practice, working with a nonverbal communication expert can fast-track your progress. He can point out patterns you might miss and help you adjust your own body language to project confidence while staying approachable.
When you master this skill, you're not just reacting to what happens in a room, you're actively shaping the conversation. And that kind of awareness creates the presence that makes people naturally want to listen to and follow you, often without you having to say much at all.
The art of reading the room: Take your communication to the next level
I've spent the last decade helping leaders sharpen their nonverbal intelligence, and I've seen firsthand how this seemingly subtle skill creates seismic shifts in their effectiveness. One client, a brilliant tech executive who struggled with team buy-in, transformed her leadership approach after learning to spot these silent signals. Within months, her team's engagement scores jumped 40%, and decision-making became remarkably more efficient.
Imagine having this kind of insight in your professional toolkit. The beauty of nonverbal awareness isn't just avoiding awkward moments, it's about creating genuine connection when it matters most.
Make this your superpower
Ready to level up your people skills? Start small, in your next three conversations, focus solely on watching for one of the patterns above. Don't overthink it, just notice when something shifts. Then, gently address what you're seeing.
Remember, this isn't about manipulation or control. It's about creating spaces where people feel safe enough to express genuine disagreement before even that person speaks up.
Read more from Tetyana Didenko
Tetyana Didenko, Body Language Analyst | Executive Coach ICF
Tetyana Didenko is a globally recognized body language analyst and expert in nonverbal communication with over a decade of experience working with executives, entrepreneurs, and professionals worldwide. She is an executive coach, keynote speaker, and author of a book on nonverbal communication in the business world. With a background as a CEO and Director of Project Development, combined with advanced training in behavioral analysis, Tetyana helps clients strengthen their presence, persuasion, and leadership through the strategic use of body language. She is regularly invited as an expert, including appearances on podcasts and television.
