What Is True Fulfillment?
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 21, 2024
- 5 min read
Written by Meghan Roekle, Fulfillment Coach
Dr. Meg Roekle is an ex-clinical psychologist, now fulfillment coach, meditation guide, & spiritual educator. She helps people awaken to Oneness, heal, and lead embodied, purposeful and fulfilling lives. She’s led 100,000+ people in meditation and hundreds of clients into fulfillment.
After 25 years in psychology, countless hours traversing the spiritual and nondual fields, loads of wellness practices, 6 years teaching meditation, and over 10,000 hours as a coach & therapist, I feel confident in my observations of humans and how they generally work. I see consistencies in who we are and what we ultimately want. And from what I can see, we want fulfillment.
But it’s not the kind of fulfillment sold to us by an insane world. And it’s not the idea of fulfillment you inherited from your parents or community. It’s much different. It’s a fulfillment that includes knowing who we are, beyond human form. Real fulfillment is a ‘spiritual’ fulfillment—knowing oneself as God/Oneness.
Knowing who we truly are is the only thing that can alleviate our deep fears, as it is the only thing that shows us, directly, that our fears aren’t real. And it is the only way we can hear our embodied reality, including our needs, boundaries, and pleasures.
As a therapist and coach, I’ve seen the core fears we share. These fears are at the bottom of our stress and anxiety, depression and grief, trauma and shock—and they are universal. In the end, the thing we fear most is abandonment or death (same, same), which is a fear of separation. I’ve not found one person, including myself, who didn’t have this core fear. So I can help people relieve their stress, alter their habits, question their thoughts, regulate their breath, communicate better, and heal their trauma—but if we don’t resolve the core fear and sense of separation, our work is incomplete.
Moreover, if a person gets everything they want (i.e. their life looks fulfilling on the outside), but they still have an internal sense of separation, they aren’t fulfilled.
They may experience temporary rest. They may know relative happiness and satisfaction. But real fulfillment is elusive because there is an underlying restlessness—a constant search for the lasting peace that only wholeness can provide.
My core message, to all who will listen, is that we are God/Oneness herself and are built to be fulfilled, as everything in Nature is. I also want everyone to know we can easily discover this Oneness, as it is the very thing reading these words and looking out of your eyes. You are that vast, pure Witness, and all that it touches, and, as a human being, you are built for fulfillment.
But we need a new definition of fulfillment to reflect these fundamental truths. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
The relaxing and joyful realization of our true, everlasting nature as Oneness or God/dess itself, alongside the embodiment & expression of our unique interests, pleasures, & social purpose/s.
The Cambridge dictionary defines fulfillment as ‘a feeling of happiness because you are doing what you intended to do in life.’ But many of our intentions are built from our core fear of separation, so the happiness is fleeting. Moreover, contingencies are attached, which blocks a lasting sense of freedom. I think the Cambridge definition (and other common definitions) are ‘off’ because fulfillment, as I’ve described it, is relatively new for humans. Even though this ‘new’ fulfillment is our birthright, and is built into our very being, we haven’t had anyone point it out. We haven’t seen others living this way—at least not in modern, Western colonialist culture—as most of our Indigenous elders, religious mystics, wise women, and spiritual teachers have been systematically silenced, and their wisdom has been twisted and turned, for millennia.
But times are changing. We are in a new era in which ancient wisdom is being recognized and realized. I’ve witnessed myself and others come into this new (and old) kind of fulfillment, time and again. As an example, I have a client who is an upper-level administrator at a multi-million dollar company. She’s been frustrated in this position, playing out compromise relationships similar to when she was a kid. But sensing Oneness, and thus having a clearer vantage point inside her body, she has a completely different experience now—she generally works when she wants to work, how she wants to work, and with whom she wants to work. She’s also more ‘productive’ than ever (even starting her own business on the side), and everyone she works with is benefiting from her shift, including the company at large—themselves finding their fulfillment more easily.
When Oneness is realized, and the veils drop (even a little), we can get to the fun, embodied part, as my client has. Our unique, built-in interests, pleasures, and purposes can truly be explored, versus locked away inside due to fear of separation. We can relax into our bodies, allowing our natural states to take over— and watch ourselves and our species bloom into something incredible and co-creative.
This natural fulfillment and flourishing occur because are bodies’ movements are fundamentally reflective of natural laws. Though being human is an ever-evolving experience, natural laws govern us, no matter how much we evolve (or devolve) as a species. I see fulfillment as natural law. I see everything in Nature, everything under God/dess, moving toward fulfillment. That’s just what Life is doing—even when we fight it, as we’ve done for millennia.
Nature Herself gives us countless examples of this. If a storm blows a bird off her course, she doesn’t give up her journey, or complain about her problems with the wind. She’s back on her path, destined to fulfill herself, even if she’s thrown off course multiple times. If a forest is clear-cut, the trees don’t stop growing, becoming hopeless or resentful. They grow stronger. And the ecosystem they exist in grows with them; the trees take up all the air, water, sunshine, and nutrients in the soil they need until they are satisfied. And the whole forest benefits as a result.
It’s only humans who cut short natural fulfillment. We were told a story of our separation and consequent limitation—and we believed it. So we self-limit. But this story can be seen through and felt through. We can wake up to our true nature as Oneness and live as Nature intended—with fulfillment for all.
The best news is that fulfillment is natural law, so we needn’t ‘do’ anything. It is much more like an undoing, surrender, or realization. The world of self-development itself is somewhat ironic, as true fulfillment includes realizing there is no self to develop and allowing Oneness/Life/larger Self to take over. That is, physical reality develops on its own when allowed to simply be. Life fulfills itself through us.
So in the end, I’m not redefining fulfillment. I’m noticing how Life defined it for us. I’m witnessing how Life moves, versus how I’ve been taught to move it. And I want you to see and feel these truths with me.
Try this: What if you believed nothing you’ve heard about yourself, others, and the world? What if you held the vantage point of Oneness—the non-personal Awareness reading these words? And honored only what felt like total, relaxed joy in this moment? What would happen next?
Read more from Meghan Roekle
Meghan Roekle, Fulfillment Coach
Dr. Meghan Roekle is an educator & coach, helping people move beyond self development into real fulfillment. A lifelong curiosity regarding the big questions: Who are we? How do I live? brought her into clinical psychology, academia, integrative health, energy healing, wellness & nonduality/awakening. Dr. Roekle realized that recovery, health/healing, & awakening are intrinsic to us, and sees herself as a self development & spiritual populist, wanting everyone to know that fulfillment, which she’s redefined, is our birthright. Her definition: The relaxing & joyful realization of our true, everlasting nature as Oneness or God/dess itself, alongside the embodiment & expression of our unique interests, pleasures, & social purpose/s.
