What Is the True Impact of Becoming a Carer for a Loved One?
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 20
- 4 min read
Kelly is a Psychotherapist, Charity Manager at PTENUKI, and co-author of Positively Rare. She shapes the conversation on the psychological impact of rare diseases, autism, SEN, and caregiving, bridging lived experience with clinical expertise to raise awareness and inspire change.
This article is the third in my Psychological Impact Series, which explores the emotional and mental health challenges experienced by people affected by rare diseases, autism, SEN, and those taking on caring roles. Building on my previous discussions about the hidden emotional toll of rare disease and the journey following diagnosis, this installment focuses on the profound impact of becoming a carer for a loved one.
Caring for a loved one is a profound act of love and responsibility. Yet, as Carers Rights Day approaches on November 20th, 2025, it's crucial to acknowledge the often-overlooked emotional and psychological toll that caregiving entails. This article delves into the multifaceted impact of becoming a carer, highlighting the challenges and resilience inherent in this journey.
Facing the reality
The onset of caregiving often begins with a sudden change, be it a diagnosis, an accident, or the gradual decline of a loved one's health. This transition can be emotionally overwhelming, marked by feelings of shock, fear, and grief. For many, the initial response is a whirlwind of emotions, denial, anxiety, and a desperate search for information. This period is characterized by a need for validation and grounding, as carers navigate the uncertainty of their new role.
Adapting to new realities
As the initial shock settles, carers begin to navigate a new day-to-day life. Managing medical appointments, coordinating care, and advocating for their loved one becomes routine. Stress, uncertainty, and fatigue are common companions. Many carers report challenges in accessing support or navigating bureaucratic systems.
This stage is about ‘adapting’, finding strategies, building routines, and connecting with practical support. Even small wins, such as resolving a medical query or successfully advocating at school, can provide a sense of progress and control amid the ongoing demands of caregiving.
Finding your own balance
Long-term caregiving often leads to shifts in personal identity. Carers may grapple with feelings of guilt, burnout, and relational strain. Questions like "Who am I now?" and "What matters to me beyond this?" are common.
It's essential for carers to re-establish their sense of self by setting boundaries, carving out time for hobbies, and maintaining social connections, all of which are not luxuries but essential tools for sustaining both emotional and physical well-being. Supporting the cared-for person effectively often relies on the carer having the strength and clarity to maintain balance.
Moving forward with purpose
Over time, many carers discover new strengths and coping strategies, allowing them to engage with life again in meaningful ways. Reconnecting with community, embracing creative outlets, or celebrating small victories provides emotional sustainability. Therapy, community support, and creative expression play vital roles in this journey.
Even amidst ongoing challenges, carers often report moments of personal growth and insight. They develop problem-solving skills, resilience, and compassion that extend beyond caregiving, a reminder that healing and fulfillment remain possible alongside responsibility.
The hidden impact
While the emotional and psychological challenges of caregiving are significant, they are often invisible. Statistics reveal the extent of this impact:
5.8 million unpaid carers in the UK, with 1.7 million providing 50 or more hours of care per week (Carers UK).
79% of carers report feeling stressed or anxious.
49% experience depression.
50% feel lonely (Carers UK).
54% report that their physical health has suffered due to their caregiving role (Carers UK).
These figures underscore the urgent need for systemic support and recognition of carers' mental health.
Practical takeaways for carers
If you, like so many others, have found yourself caring for a loved one, here are some top tips to handle your new role:
Acknowledge emotions: Recognise and validate your feelings of grief, fear, or overwhelm.
Access support early: Seek therapy, peer groups, or advocacy organisations for guidance and reassurance.
Set boundaries: Protect your time and energy to prevent burnout.
Maintain personal identity: Engage in hobbies, friendships, and self-care to preserve your well-being.
Know your rights: Utilise carer assessments, respite care, and financial support available to you.
For support and resources
Local Carer Support Groups: Available via councils or NHS trusts
Mind Over Matter Therapy: For personalised guidance, coping strategies, and emotional support
A message of recognition and resilience
Becoming a carer is life-changing. It challenges identity, tests resilience, and exposes carers to emotional and physical strain. Yet, by acknowledging the journey, adapting to new realities, protecting personal well-being, and finding ways to engage with life again, carers can navigate this path with insight, strength, and purpose.
Carers Rights Day serves as a reminder that carers deserve recognition, support, and understanding. By sustaining themselves emotionally, physically, and socially, carers can continue to provide meaningful support to loved ones while maintaining their own well-being.
Read more from Kelly Kearley
Kelly Kearley, Psychotherapist and Rare Disease Advocate
Kelly is a psychotherapist, author, and charity leader shaping the global conversation on the psychological impact of living with a rare disease, autism, SEN, and caregiving. Co-author of Positively Rare and Charity Manager of PTENUKI, she bridges lived experience with clinical expertise to bring overlooked mental health challenges to light. Her work explores resilience, advocacy, and the hidden toll of caregiving in extraordinary circumstances. Kelly's mission reaches beyond the rare disease community, she seeks to help the wider world understand the profound emotional impact these journeys carry. By fostering awareness and empathy, she inspires change across healthcare, education, and society.
