What Everybody Ought to Know About Confidence
- Mar 1, 2021
- 3 min read
Written by: Amber Stephenson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What is confidence?
According to the Oxford Dictionary, confidence is:
‘the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.’
The state of feeling certain about the truth of something
A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities
Simply put, it is belief and trust in the truth of ourselves and our abilities.
When we're confident in ourselves and what we can do, we’re not worried about what we can’t do, what might not happen, or what might go wrong. Instead, we’re at peace with our expectations for the future.
Sounds like a wonderful feeling, right?
So let’s look at how a lack of confidence might show up in your life.
It might look like…
Not contributing to a group discussion
Not volunteering to take on extra tasks
‘Forgetting’ to apply for a promotion/raise
Typing out a text/personal message and not sending it, or rewriting several times
Stressing out about everything possible things that could go wrong – including extremely unlike possibilities
Trying extra hard to blend in with the people around us
Not voicing an opinion or casting a vote
Always playing it safe by refusing to take risks
Holding onto money and items 'just in case'
Putting things off for later
These are just a few examples of what a lack of confidence (also known as self-consciousness) can look like in your life.
It might sound like...
I'm not qualified/experienced enough
I'm not old enough
Why would anyone choose me?
I'm not ready
I need to do/accomplish/have x first
I don't deserve it
So what causes a lack of confidence?
Everyone you ask will have a different answer for this. It might be that they feel overwhelmed and honestly can't tell up from down. It might be that someone once told them they couldn't do something they believed they could, or maybe they had trouble making friends in school.
There are a lot of different roads to low confidence, but if you follow any of them to their source, they will always lead to one place:
a belief of not being enough.
This single, simple belief that most people will deny is the cause of so much suffering in our everyday lives, but there are things you can do to build your confidence up so you can take charge of your life.
My first suggestion is always affirmations because the way we think about ourselves determines every action - and inaction - in our lives.
You could start with a simple I am enough. Or you could get more specific. I am beautiful and deserving of love, kindness, respect, and wealth.
Whatever you choose as your affirmation, it should feel good when you say/read it to yourself, like relief instead of pressure.
Write it every morning, say it to yourself every time you look in the mirror, and use sticky notes to leave it everywhere you spend time.
You might not notice the small differences it makes in your day, but when you look back in a few weeks, you will be astounded at what changes for you.
For a quick boost when you've had a hard day, check out my Easy Shortcuts to Confidence.
Amber Stephenson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Amber Stephenson is a Master Transformational Coach who specializes in helping women who struggle to reach their goals to identify what's holding them back and shift into success. She's on a mission to empower women to be their most powerful, authentic selves while building lives they love and making their dreams come true.
Amber is a rockstar coach, a dedicated wife, mother of four, insatiable reader and avid gamer.
