What 2 Cats Taught Me About Trust and How the Animals in Our Lives Can Lead Us Back to Who We Are
Written by Sarah Veall, Transformational Coach
Sarah Veall is a transformational coach, inner child practitioner, and Reiki practitioner. She is the author of "Trust", a story of how she reconnected with her true essence and a state of wholeness and healed holistically, following a cancer diagnosis in 2020.
Sometimes the most profound lessons come from the most unexpected places. For me, these two very special cats have been part of a journey that has changed the way I see myself, my life and the world around me.
Paddy arrived in my life in February 2019, at a time when I was navigating a lot of change. My marriage had broken down, I was bringing up my three boys as a single parent, and I was still carrying the grief of losing my mum in 2015. I was doing my best to keep everything going, looking after everyone and getting on with life.
Paddy was a beautiful black-and-white cat who quickly became my constant companion, a source of comfort and a little pocket of unconditional love in what had often felt like a rather challenging world.
I didn't realise then just how important his presence would become.
In August 2020, I was diagnosed with cancer. It was a diagnosis that stopped me in my tracks. On the outside, I had been doing all the things we associate with being healthy. I practised yoga and Pilates, went running and worked as a coach and equine therapist. Yet here I was, facing something that challenged everything I thought I knew about health, wellbeing and myself.
The diagnosis became the beginning of a very different journey. Rather than simply trying to get back to the person I had been before, I began questioning whether that person was actually living in alignment with who I really was.
I started exploring the relationship between our mental, emotional, physical and energetic wellbeing. I became increasingly interested in the unconscious beliefs and patterns we develop, and how these can influence the way we live. I began paying closer attention to the messages my body was sending me, learning to recognise when I was pushing through, ignoring my own needs or living according to expectations that weren't necessarily mine.
Most importantly, I began learning to listen to myself.
Learning to see life differently
As I explored different approaches to healing, including training in inner-child work, body wisdom and Reiki, and throwing myself into researching the relationship between our emotions and our physical wellbeing, I started to look at life through a different lens.
I became fascinated by the idea that our external experiences can act as mirrors, reflecting something back to us about our internal world.
The people we meet, the situations we find ourselves in and the emotions they trigger can reveal beliefs, fears and patterns that we haven't yet acknowledged. Rather than automatically asking, 'Why is this happening to me?', I began asking, 'What might this be showing me?'
It wasn't about blaming myself for what had happened in my life, or believing that every difficult experience had some predetermined purpose. It was about becoming curious, taking responsibility for my own responses and recognising that I had more choice than I had previously realised.
Looking back, Paddy had been showing me something important all along.
He didn't care whether I was being a good coach, a good mum, a productive member of society or whether I had achieved everything on my to-do list. He didn't need me to be anything other than myself. He simply wanted to be with me. There was something incredibly reassuring about that.
I began to recognise how often I had measured my worth through what I did for other people, how much I achieved and how well I met their expectations. Paddy offered a different experience. His love wasn't conditional on my performance.
Perhaps one of the greatest lessons he gave me was the importance of not abandoning myself.
The wisdom of our animal companions
Animals have a wonderful way of bringing us into the present moment. They don't spend their days worrying about yesterday or planning what they need to achieve tomorrow. They respond to what is happening around them, follow their instincts, rest when they need to rest and seek connection when they want it.
Of course, animals have their own emotions, needs and experiences, but there is something we can learn from the way they inhabit the world.
Our relationships with them can also offer us a different experience of connection. They don't expect us to explain ourselves, justify our feelings or wear a particular mask. They can simply sit alongside us.
For someone who has spent much of their life trying to meet other people's needs, that can be surprisingly powerful.
I believe we can learn a great deal from the relationships we share with our animals. It is often in the quietest moments, when we're stroking a cat or sitting together in the sunshine, that we reconnect with something we've lost touch with in ourselves.
Enter Apollo, the little sun god
Paddy sadly died aged just six. Losing him was heartbreaking, and his place in my life and the lessons I associate with him will stay with me forever.
Then came Apollo.
A beautiful ginger cat born on the summer solstice, my little sun god. Where Paddy represented a deep sense of emotional safety and unconditional love, Apollo seems to bring a rather different energy: curiosity, playfulness, joy and presence.
He reminds me to notice the little things, to be curious about the world and not to take everything quite so seriously. He also has his own very clear sense of when he wants attention and when he would rather be left alone!
Watching him has reinforced something I have come to value enormously: being sensitive to what is happening around us doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves in it. We can be aware of other people's energy and emotions without taking responsibility for them. We can love others without abandoning our own needs.
I believe that’s another valuable lesson in self-love: knowing when to connect and when to retreat, when to play and when to rest, and trusting our own instincts.
Two books, one journey
My first book, Trust, tells the story of my personal journey following my cancer diagnosis and the exploration that led me back towards a greater sense of self-trust.
It isn't a book about telling other people how to heal or suggesting that there is one right way to live. It's about sharing what I discovered, the questions I asked and the ways in which I began to understand myself differently.
Writing it helped me make sense of my experiences. It also brought me to a realisation that has become central to the way I now see life: so much of what we are searching for externally begins with reconnecting with what is already within us.
That brings me back to Paddy and Apollo.
My second book, Paddy, Apollo and Me, might look very different from Trust. It is a much shorter, illustrated book, with a gentle message for children and adults alike. But underneath the story of two cats is exactly the same message.
It's about unconditional love, remembering who we are and learning to accept ourselves just as we are.
It's also a celebration of the animals who share our lives and the unexpected ways in which they can touch our hearts.
I like to think that Paddy and Apollo have both been part of the same journey, each in their own way. Paddy helped me experience the safety of being loved without conditions. Apollo continues to remind me about joy, instinct and the freedom to simply be.
Coming home to ourselves
Looking back, I can see how much of my life was spent trying to be the person I thought I needed to be. I had become very good at meeting expectations, looking after others and keeping everything going. What I hadn't always been so good at was listening to myself.
My journey has been about gradually unpicking those patterns, learning to recognise when I'm out of alignment and trusting the messages coming from within.
The greatest lesson Paddy and Apollo have taught me is that we don't need to become someone else to find happiness. We need to remember who we were before we learnt to hide, perform, please and fit in.
Trust explores the journey that brought me to this realisation. Paddy, Apollo and Me tells the same story through the eyes of two very special cats.
Different books, but ultimately one message: the way home is through love, and that love begins with ourselves.
Read more from Sarah Veall
Sarah Veall, Transformational Coach
Sarah Veall is a transformational coach, inner child practitioner, and Reiki practitioner. She is the author of "Trust", a story of how she reconnected with her true essence and a state of wholeness and healed holistically, following a cancer diagnosis in 2020. Sarah is passionate about empowering others to love their whole 'self' in order to access a state of wellness where the body can heal itself.
