Unmasking The Consequences – Conflict Avoidance In Leadership
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 17, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 19, 2023
Written by: Karin Wellbrock, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Keiko, a prominent executive in a prestigious multinational company in Japan, shattered the glass ceiling with over two decades of successful leadership. When it comes to external success, she is the epitome of resilience and accomplishment, demonstrating unwavering commitment to her profession and delivering extraordinary results. However, an unexpected conversation with her boss made her rethink her leadership style.
One year ago, Keiko was one of two strong candidates vying for an open position on the executive committee. While both had sterling records, Keiko's exceptional people skills and ability to manage international stakeholders tipped the scales in her favor. As a result of her promotion, her competitor became her direct report.
Fast forward to today, Keiko is uneasy around her ex-competitor. A recent year-end evaluation brought this to light when her boss noted, "Keiko, your assessment of him appears overly positive and seems to lack objectivity." This remark struck a chord, forcing Keiko to reflect. It was obvious to her that she felt physically uncomfortable around this direct report. It was his strong-headedness and depth of subject matter expertise that made her feel diminished, so she actively avoided him.
During the performance evaluation, Keiko's boss disagreed with the high rating she proposed for him. After fighting tooth and nail for it, Keiko eventually persuaded her boss. Later, she realized she avoided confrontation with her direct report by giving him a high-performance rating. Interestingly, she was more willing to argue with her boss than her direct report.
Keiko recognized a pattern after deeper reflection: she was over-accommodating and often bent over backward for others, sometimes at her own expense. Despite the risk of appearing not objective, she defended her direct report's high-performance rating.
The silent saboteurs: Unmasking the hidden consequences of accommodation and conflict avoidance
Over-accommodation and conflict avoidance are two behaviors we find often with women. These behaviors can undermine the effectiveness of a leader and the performance of a team. To understand the consequences of Keiko’s behavior, let's look at the first, second, and third levels:
Lack of Constructive Feedback: Keiko's fear of conflict hinders her ability to provide the necessary feedback for growth. The immediate consequence (level one) is the stifling of individual and team development. If unaddressed, this can lead to a second-level consequence of skill and performance stagnation, ultimately resulting in a third-level consequence of diminished innovation and adaptability within the team.
Reduced Accountability: By avoiding conflict, Keiko unintentionally fosters an environment of decreased accountability. Initially, this can demotivate team members and lessen their sense of ownership (level one). If left unchecked, this could lead to the delegation of conflict resolution back to the leader (level two), culminating in lower productivity, missed deadlines, and overall decreased performance (level three).
Unresolved Issues and Tensions: Keiko's conflict-avoiding style allows underlying issues to simmer. The immediate fallout is a potentially toxic work environment and decreased morale (level one). Over time, this can escalate into increased conflicts, disengagement (level two), and eventually, high turnover rates within the team (level three).
Missed Opportunities for Growth and Innovation: Keiko's avoidance of conflict inhibits diverse perspectives exchange, which is vital for innovation. The immediate result is a homogenous thought process (level one) that, over time, can decrease the team's ability to adapt to changes (level two). Ultimately, this could lead to competitive disadvantages and missed improvement opportunities (level three).
Ineffective Decision-making: Keiko's conflict-avoiding tendencies result in a decision-making process devoid of thorough exploration of alternatives and healthy debate. The immediate effect is a lack of critical thinking and alternative exploration (level one). This can progress into suboptimal decisions and a lack of buy-in (level two), culminating in decreased team alignment and a failure to execute strategic initiatives (level three).
Reinforcement of Unhealthy Dynamics: Keiko's over-accommodating leadership style may inadvertently reinforce unhealthy dynamics within the team. Initially, this may manifest as a lack of psychological safety or an imbalance of power (level one). If this dynamic persists, team members may become overly dependent on Keiko for conflict resolution (level two), which could stifle their ability to address issues independently, hindering their personal and professional growth (level three).
Once Keiko better comprehended the cascading effects of her leadership style by understanding these consequences, she could act.
The unseen battle: Courageously confronting your fears in leadership
When we examine Keiko’s tendencies through the lens of Hogan's Dark Side traits, she can make the following improvements:
Embrace Vulnerability: Acknowledging her "Excitable" trait that drives over-accommodation and avoidance is the first step. This involves recognizing the fear of conflict, rejection, or need for approval.
Develop Assertiveness: Confronting the "Avoidant" trait will help Keiko develop assertiveness, encouraging open dialogue and solutions.
Foster Psychological Safety: Creating an environment where team members feel safe expressing their thoughts can build trust and encourage constructive dialogue.
Cultivate Self-awareness: Reflecting on mental models that contribute to avoidance and over-accommodation can lead to insights and act as a catalyst for change.
Focus on Constructive Conflict Management: Viewing conflict as an opportunity to grow, learn, and innovate can build stronger relationships and encourage healthier behavior.
Navigating the challenge: The imperative of self-confrontation in leadership
Keiko's case is a common scenario in leadership coaching. Conflict avoidance and over-accommodation, despite their admirable intentions, can backfire, leading to a toxic work environment and eroding performance.
This brings us to a crucial call to action: Reflect on your default behaviors and needs. Understand the consequences of your actions on various levels. As a leader, it's your responsibility to foster an environment that promotes growth and sustains performance. The sooner you face your own dark side, the better the leader you will be.
To learn more about Hogan assessments and becoming an exceptional leader, contact here.
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Karin Wellbrock, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
In addition to being a co-founder of Kay Group K.K in Japan, Karin Wellbrock is an executive coach and leadership consultant with over 30 years of global experience. A passionate advocate of human-centered, inclusive leadership, she creates exceptional results. To bring innovation to the workplace, she is conducting research in Japan and Europe to increase female representation in leadership roles. Her program "Leader-by-Design" demonstrates this. Dedicated to systemic change, Karin is a member of an all-women-led angel investment club in Asia Pacific, and mentors startup and NGO leaders and game changers in Asia and Europe. It is her mission to elevate 100 women to the C-suite.
